The Healing Power of Play and Pleasure

As somatic and holistic therapists, we often sit with adults who long to feel more alive, connected, and joyful—but who also admit they don’t know how. Somewhere along the way, many of us lose touch with two essential states of being: play and pleasure. 

And before a part of you starts to discount and minimize these experiences, please know that these are not luxuries or optional indulgences. Play and pleasure are vital for our healing, growth, and wholeness. Yet, for many adults, the invitation to play or experience pleasure feels confusing, foreign, even threatening.

Let’s explore why that is—and how reclaiming play and pleasure can be a game changer!

How We Lose Play and Pleasure: Emotional Wounding and Survival Strategies

Humans are biologically wired for play and pleasure. From infancy, our bodies seek out joyful movement, curious exploration, and co-regulated connection. But for many of us, emotional wounding disrupts this natural flow.

When our early caregivers are emotionally unavailable, inconsistent, or unsafe, we unconsciously adapt. We learn to suppress our playfulness to prioritize connection or safety because ultimately we need to have our basic needs met before we can feel safe and settled enough to let go and play. In cases of attachment injuries, trauma, emotional neglect, or relational pain, play starts to feel dangerous, frivolous, or even selfish.

Many children in these environments step into roles they were never meant to play: caretakers, peacekeepers, perfectionists. This process—known as parentification—requires kids to meet their own emotional needs (and sometimes their caregivers’) at the cost of their spontaneity and innocence. Play becomes a forgotten language. Pleasure becomes associated with guilt or fear. The nervous system becomes hyper-attuned to survival, not joy, and the human becomes disembodied living primarily in their head.

The American Disconnection from Play

Even for children with more secure upbringings, the larger cultural container—particularly in the U.S.—does not support the longevity of play or pleasure. In early childhood, play is encouraged, even celebrated. But by middle school, the message begins to shift: "Grow up." "Get serious." "What are you going to do with your life?"

The U.S. school system prioritizes performance, competition, and linear productivity. Children are often expected to sacrifice recess for test prep, creativity for compliance, exploration for achievement and predetermined curriculums. By adolescence, many young people have deeply internalized the belief that play is no longer useful—unless it produces something.

As adults, we find ourselves in a culture that severely restricts socially acceptable avenues for play and pleasure. We’re told that to be a “successful” adult, we must work hard, pay bills, take care of others, and be responsible. Play and pleasure? They become things we have to justify—often pushed into the shadows as private indulgences rather than embodied needs.

Is it any wonder so many adults turn to secret or quick-hit sources of pleasure—compulsive sex, alcohol, drugs, doom-scrolling, binge-watching, overeating—to momentarily escape the weight of disembodiment and disconnection?

What the Research Says: Play is Essential, Not Optional

Thankfully, science backs what our bodies have always known: play is essential to being human.

Dr. Stuart Brown, founder of the National Institute for Play, has spent decades researching play in both animals and humans. His work reveals that play is not just a childish behavior, but a deeply biological drive. In fact, play is seen across the animal kingdom, from dogs and dolphins to bears and birds. Brown notes that animals deprived of play display poor socialization, higher levels of aggression, and impaired adaptability—traits that sound uncomfortably familiar when applied to humans.

Importantly, play literally builds our brains. It stimulates the prefrontal cortex, improves emotional regulation, enhances problem-solving, and strengthens our capacity for empathy and flexibility. Play is nature’s way of preparing us for an uncertain future.

As Brown says, “we are built to play and built by play.”

And it’s not just mental. Play brings the nervous system into a state of flow—a unique energetic zone between challenge and ease, where we lose track of time and become fully present in our bodies. This flow state regulates the vagus nerve, activates the parasympathetic branch of the nervous system, and helps heal chronic patterns of hypervigilance or shutdown.

In short: play is medicine.

Pleasure as a Somatic Practice

Similarly, embodied pleasure—the felt sense of joy, warmth, delight, sensuality—isn’t a hedonistic escape; it’s a healing state. When we allow ourselves to feel pleasure (in safe, titrated ways), we expand our internal energetic container—our nervous system becomes capable of holding more life force, more complexity, more intimacy.

For many trauma survivors, the path to healing requires not just revisiting and feeling through the pain, but retraining the body to feel safe in play, pleasure and joy. This is where somatic practices shine. By slowly reintroducing the sensations of pleasure and play, we rewire the body toward aliveness.

But let’s be real: play and pleasure can feel terrifying. Many adults experience anxiety, guilt, numbness, or resistance when invited to loosen the grip of control and enter the realm of play. That’s not because they’re broken. It’s because their bodies learned long ago that joy wasn’t safe.

So we go slow.

A Simple Embodiment Practice to Reclaim Play & Pleasure

Here’s a short somatic practice you can try to gently reconnect with the energetic state of play and pleasure:

The "Curious Wiggle" Practice (5 minutes)

1. Find a safe, private space. Sit or stand comfortably. Close your eyes or soften your gaze.
   

2. Take a few deep breaths. Inhale through your nose, exhale with a gentle sigh. Let your shoulders drop.
   

3. Start to invite a gentle wiggle into your body. Maybe your fingers wiggle first. Then your shoulders. Let the movement be spontaneous, curious—how would your body move if no one were watching?
   

4. Let the wiggle grow. Maybe it becomes a little dance. Maybe it’s silly. Maybe it’s subtle. Follow your body’s lead.
   

5. Add sound, if it feels safe. A hum, a giggle, a sigh. Let your voice join the play.
   

6. Notice what sensations arise. Does it feel joyful? Awkward? Energizing? Numbing? Just notice—there’s no right way to feel.
   

7. Finish by placing a hand on your heart or belly. Thank yourself for showing up. For exploring. For being brave enough to reconnect.
   
   

Final Thoughts: Reclaiming Your Birthright

Play and pleasure are not rewards you have to earn. They are birthrights that belong to you simply because you are human. In a culture that glorifies productivity and pathologizes rest and joy, choosing to play is an act of radical reclamation.

In therapy at Brave Embodiment, we don’t just talk about healing—we embody it. And that includes finding moments of laughter, silliness, dance, breath, color, sound, imagination, curiosity, and connection.

Because in those moments, healing doesn’t feel like work. It feels like being alive.

If this resonates, or if you find yourself unsure where to start, know that you're not alone. The journey back to play and pleasure is not linear—but it is worth it.

Let’s begin again—with joy.

If our approach of involving play, pleasure and joy in the healing process speaks to you, reach out to us! We’d love to give you even more information and holistic, somatic tools to support you on your journey to wellness. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper righthand corner of our website, submit a contact form, and we will be in touch with you ASAP!

Rooted in Joy: Healing Through Play and Pleasure

Healing in the Heat of Summer

As we step into the warmth of July, summer invites us into a season of expansion and joy. Longer days, vibrant colors, sun-soaked adventures, and a slower pace all create the perfect conditions for something we often overlook in our healing journeys: pleasure and play.

It’s easy to dismiss enjoyment and leisure as “nice-to-haves”—something to get to once we’ve finished the serious work of healing. But what if we told you that joy is not the opposite of healing, but a central part of it?

Many of us carry inner wounds from childhood—experiences where our need for joy, spontaneity, freedom, and emotional safety weren’t fully met. Inner child healing isn’t just about revisiting the past; it’s about offering our younger selves the nourishment they needed then, in the present moment. And one of the most potent ways we can do that is through play and pleasure.

Summer, with its built-in invitations for play—whether that’s swimming, dancing barefoot, making art, taking spontaneous road trips, or simply lying in the grass and cloud-gazing—gives us opportunities to reconnect with the essence of our inner child. Each time we say yes to joy, we create a reparative experience. We tell our inner child: You matter. Your joy matters. You’re safe to feel delight.

And this process works both ways. When we engage in the deep work of inner child healing—whether through therapy, journaling, somatic therapy, or conscious reflection—we often find our capacity for joy naturally expanding. We feel safer in our bodies. We give ourselves permission to savor life more fully.

So this July, consider this an invitation: 

Seek pleasure. 

Embrace leisure. 

Prioritize play. 

Not because you’ve earned it, but because it’s a vital part of your wholeness. Healing doesn’t only happen in stillness and shadow—it also happens in sunlight and laughter.

A Mid-Year Reset – Re-aligning with Intention and Inner Wisdom

It’s hard to believe, but we are now more than halfway through 2025. This moment—just past the solstice, just before the late-summer wind-down—is the perfect time for a mid-year reset.

For some people, January is a time when goals and resolutions are set with the best of intentions, but by July, life has happened. Maybe we’ve been wounded, perhaps we’ve grown…things have shifted as that is the nature of life – constant change. Our needs, priorities, and energy may look very different than they did at the start of the year.

This is a good time to pause, tune in, and ask yourself:

• How do I feel in my body and heart about the intentions I set in January?

• Are those intentions still aligned with who I am now?

• What’s asking to be acknowledged, released or reimagined?

• Is there a new vision emerging for the second half of the year?
  

Rather than forcing yourself to keep up with goals that no longer resonate, consider this a chance to reset based on who you are today. You might even notice that your body has been giving you cues—through fatigue, resistance, or excitement—about what’s truly aligned.

This doesn’t have to be an elaborate process. Sometimes all it takes is a quiet afternoon, a journal, and your willingness to listen inward. We invite you to allow your intuition to guide you, and do your best to trust that your inner compass knows the way forward. Remember, mid-course corrections are not failures, but signs of maturity and growth.

Let this July be a sacred threshold. A chance to re-center, re-align, and move into the rest of the year with clarity, gentleness, and a renewed connection to yourself and what matters most.

Therapist Highlight: Jessica Genari

Meet the intuitive and encouraging Jessica Gennari!

Jessica is a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Colorado who is BCLAD (Bilingual, Cross-cultural, Language and Academic Development) certified.

Throughout her career in counseling Jessica has worked with people facing substance use issues, co-occurring disorders, PTSD, trauma and stress, attachment, anxiety, and depression.

Jessica's approach is person-centered, empowering, creative and curious. She is passionate about supporting people in unveiling their own inner strengths, awareness and ability to optimize their well-being. Jessica is also devoted to providing tangible researched strategies in sessions.

Jessica uses and integrates a variety of therapy modalities including...

• EMDR

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)

• DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy)

• SFBT (Solution Focused Brief Therapy)

• ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)

• Mind-Body Practices

• Guided Drawing
  

Jessica specializes in…

• Helping you uncover emotional patterns and the roots of those patterns

• Supporting you in interpersonal relationship building

• Stress and trauma

• Attachment wounding and repair

• Providing BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ affirming counseling

Jessica as a person↓

• Personality: Creative, intuitive, open, loving and empowering

• Activities: All things art, as well as, nature, hiking, running, biking and spending time with friends

• Travels: Jessica has lived in Italy and traveled to South America and Spain--she loves learning from other cultures and growing herself!
  

We offer FREE 30-45 minute consultations. If Jessica, or any of our other amazing therapists catch your eye, let us know -- we will get you connected ASAP! 

With warmth, joy, and compassion,

♡ The Brave Embodiment Counseling Team

P.S. If you’d like support with your mid-year reset or inner child work this season, feel free to reach out for a FREE consultation. Summer is a beautiful time to deepen into your healing journey.

Clickhere to get in touch!

Summer Energy Got You Struggling with Consistency? This Meditation Is for You

Consistency Starts with Energy — Tap In With This FREE Practice

Hello Brave Ones, 

As we are exiting the month of June, summer continues to unfold. The summer season brings light, spontaneity, and the sweet call to play. While this season nourishes the spirit, it often nudges us away from the rhythms that support our deeper healing—routines soften, therapy gets rescheduled, and our inner work can take a backseat.

This is natural.
And it’s okay.

But if you're noticing feeling a bit more scattered, anxious, and overwhelmed —especially in your nervous system— it could benefit you to support your inner system around consistency. 

Click below for a FREE guided meditation created by Brave’s very own, Kim Massale. She designed this meditation to help you gently steady your energy, reconnect with your compassionate center, and follow through on what you’re wanting to do. This meditation can be used as a quick daily or weekly process to help keep you on track, and can also be helpful to those living with ADHD. 

No matter where summer takes you, this guided practice can support your nervous system in finding ease and rhythm. 

Click here to access our FREE Consistency & Overcoming Obstacles guided meditation.

If you found this meditation useful, be sure to follow us on Insight Timer by clicking "follow" on our teacher profile!

♡ The Brave Embodiment Counseling Team

Click here to get in touch!

Consistency Isn’t About Discipline—It’s About Energy

You’re Not the Only One Struggling with Consistency

Let’s get one thing out in the open: SO MANY people struggle with consistency. And yet, when we’re in the thick of our own procrastination, overwhelm, or inability to follow through, we often feel like the only one. Like there must be something inherently wrong with us.

We wonder:

“Why can’t I just do the thing?”

“What’s wrong with me that I can’t stay motivated?”

“Why do I keep starting and stopping everything?”

If that’s you, we want you to hear this—you are not broken. You are likely dysregulated. And there's a big difference.

Where the Struggle with Consistency Really Comes From

Most conversations around consistency start with time management, discipline, or habits. But as holistic therapists, we’ve learned that humans are complex and therefore we must go deeper—into the body, the nervous system, and our lived cultural realities. 

We as humans are individual systems and we live within the system of our external circumstances and culture. Things like time management, discipline and habits aren’t bad things to pay attention to, but they are surface-level, so let’s go a little deeper and get curious about what supports, or allows for practices like time management, discipline and habits to happen.

1. The Nervous System

Inside all humans exists a central nervous system which is divided into two key branches: the peripheral and the autonomic. While the peripheral nervous system helps us consciously interact with the world around us, the autonomic nervous system operates largely beneath our awareness, managing vital functions like breathing, heart rate, digestion, and temperature regulation. 

But beyond these physical processes, the autonomic system is also deeply involved in our emotional life and energy levels—it plays a major role in how safe, calm, or overwhelmed we feel. When this system becomes dysregulated, often due to chronic stress or unresolved wounding, pain and trauma, we may find ourselves struggling with low energy, emotional volatility, or a persistent inability to follow through on our goals. 

So if you’re someone who has difficulty being consistent—not because you don’t care or lack willpower—it may be that your autonomic nervous system is in a survival mode that prevents access to sustained focus and motivation. When your body perceives stress—whether from trauma, emotional wounds, or ongoing pressure—it moves into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn states. This dysregulation makes it nearly impossible to stay focused, energized, or committed to routines. Learning how to understand and regulate your autonomic responses through practices like somatic therapy, breathwork, and grounding, can be a powerful step toward restoring balance and creating true, sustainable consistency in your life.

2. Unresolved Emotional Wounding and Trauma

Our past experiences shape our present patterns because those were the experiences we were having when our brains and neural networks were forming and developing. Those were the neural networks we needed at the time to survive the environment and circumstances that we were in. For example, some of us learned in childhood that taking action led to punishment, criticism, and rejection, so, present-day we might find that our subconscious often tries to “protect” us by sabotaging follow-through as a way to avoid the painfulness of those past experiences (punishment, criticism and rejection). This is just one example of how unresolved past wounding and pain drives present day behaviors.

Procrastination, avoidance, and lack of consistency are not conscious choices — they’re forms of subconscious coping. It’s helpful to connect this struggle with consistency back to what we discussed earlier: the nervous system. Dysregulated energy in the nervous system stems from these subconscious coping mechanisms, which are essentially stress responses. The shifts in our energy levels occur because the nervous system continues to rely on old protective patterns — neural pathways that once helped us survive. In response to perceived threats, our nervous system may quickly ramp up or shut down energy (hyperarousal or hypoarousal) to support these stress responses. Until the underlying pain, trauma, or emotional wounding is fully felt, processed and resolved, the nervous system will keep activating these ingrained patterns to shield us from discomfort and pain. This results in nervous system dysregulation, which disrupts our energy supply — and the energy instability is what makes it difficult to build and maintain consistency. 

3. The Hustle Culture of the U.S.

We’re living in a society that glorifies productivity and burnout. We’re constantly expected to be “on”, responsive, achieving, and producing. This hustle mode depletes the body, short-circuits the nervous system, and leads to things like:

• Adrenal fatigue

• Anxiety and depression

• Autoimmune conditions

• Chronic exhaustion

• Disconnection from purpose and pleasure

• Disembodiment 

When your energy is burned out or fragmented, how can you expect to show up consistently for anything, let alone your deeper goals?

4. Misalignment

Another important — and often overlooked — root of inconsistency is misalignment. From a holistic perspective, it’s incredibly difficult to remain consistent with things that are out of sync with your core values — the things that truly matter to you on a deeper level. When our actions, commitments, or goals don’t reflect what we genuinely care about, the nervous system often responds with resistance. This isn't laziness or self-sabotage; it’s a form of inner wisdom alerting us that something doesn’t feel right.

Take work, for example. If you're spending hours each day in a job that doesn’t resonate with your values, it’s natural to feel disengaged, uninspired, or even emotionally exhausted. Your body and mind may struggle to summon the energy or motivation to stay consistent, because that work isn’t nourishing you in a meaningful way. Over time, this misalignment can erode your sense of purpose and make consistency feel like an uphill battle.

As holistic therapists, we often invite people to explore whether what they’re trying to be consistent with is actually aligned with their deeper truth. 

• Are you working toward something that feels life-giving and purposeful? Or are you chasing something you think you should do — out of obligation, fear, or external pressure? 

When we begin to realign with our values and make space for what truly matters, consistency often begins to feel less like a struggle and more like a natural expression of inner coherence.

5. Emotional Avoidance

Another layer that can contribute to inconsistency — and one that often operates beneath our conscious awareness — is emotional avoidance. From a holistic perspective, we don’t just avoid tasks because they’re boring or time-consuming. Often, we’re avoiding the emotions that get stirred up when we engage with those tasks.

For example, let’s take something as seemingly simple as cleaning. On the surface, it might look like procrastination or disinterest. But when we look deeper, we might notice that the act of cleaning brings up a sense of futility — the realization that no matter how thoroughly we clean, the mess will always return. For some, this can evoke feelings of defeat, powerlessness, or even resentment. These are difficult emotions to sit with, especially if we’ve had past experiences where those feelings were overwhelming or invalidated. So, instead of facing them again, our nervous system kicks into protective mode — we distract ourselves, we delay, or we disengage entirely.

In this light, inconsistency becomes less about motivation and more about emotional safety. It’s not that you’re incapable of doing the task — it’s that doing the task touches something tender inside you. As holistic therapists, we often work with people to gently explore what emotions are being activated by the things they avoid. When we can name those feelings and begin to hold space for them, even in small ways, we often find that the task itself becomes more approachable. We’re no longer using our energy to protect ourselves from discomfort — and that opens the door for more grounded, sustainable consistency.

The Truth: Consistency Comes from Steady Energy

Now that we’ve taken a look at some of the common roots of inconsistency, here’s what we’ve seen time and time again:

Consistency doesn’t come from willpower. It comes from a steady flow of energy.

And that steady energy flow comes from a regulated nervous system, emotional safety, and alignment with your truth—not forcing yourself into a schedule or life that was never meant for you. 

When you begin to slow down, listen to your body, and heal at the roots, you start to feel a natural pull toward showing up—because it no longer feels like pressure. It feels like flow.

Myths About Consistency That Need to Be Burned to the Ground

Let’s debunk a few harmful myths that surround the topic of consistency:

• MYTH: “You’re lazy if you’re inconsistent.”

• TRUTH: Inconsistency is usually a sign of burnout, trauma, or dysregulation—not laziness.

• MYTH: “You just need more discipline.”

• TRUTH: Most people need more rest, safety, connection, and nervous system healing—not more discipline.

• MYTH: “If you really cared, you’d do it.”

• TRUTH: Many of us deeply care—and still can’t follow through when our energy is scattered or depleted.

Remember, energy flows where your attention goes. If your attention continues to focus on coping and “just getting through”,  then your energy is being used up just trying to survive emotionally or physically and there’s not much left for long-term goals or daily habits. 

How to Begin Steadying Your Energy (So Consistency Can Emerge Naturally)

If you’ve been struggling with consistency, here’s where we’d recommend you begin:

1. Regulate Your Nervous System

Start by helping your body feel safe.

Take some time to track your nervous system so you can learn its “go-to” stress responses. Then, do your best to get in the practice of coming alongside your nervous system with support. And remember, our nervous system doesn’t understand words it understands somatics i.e. body-based, physical, felt sensations.

Try: daily grounding practices (walking barefoot on the earth, placing your hands over your heart and belly while breathing deeply, etc.), vagal nerve stimulation (humming, cold water splashes, breathwork, etc.), movement to release energy in a hyperaroused nervous system (jumping up and down, pushing into the wall, dancing, etc.), movement to increase energy in a hyperaroused nervous system (lengthening your spine, planting your feet firmly on the floor, quickly rubbing your hands together, etc,), incorporating a daily embodiment practice (yoga, dancing, stretching, tia chi, etc.)

The purpose of these somatic tools is to gently guide your nervous system out of conditioned stress responses, allowing new neural pathways to form and teaching your inner system that it’s safe to face tasks and stressors from a place of presence and steadiness – therefore stabilizing your energy flow and increasing your ability to be consistent. 

2. Meet Your Inner Experience with Compassion

When you procrastinate or shut down, do your best to get in the practice of pausing and asking:

“What part of me is afraid right now?”

Then, respond to that part of you with kindness, not judgment. Healing emotional wounds that are being held internally makes room for sustainable action.

3. Create Spaciousness, Not Schedules

Instead of rigid routines, experiment with rhythm. What’s your body’s natural flow? Work with that, not against it.

4. Mini Practice: Steady Your Energy in 3 Minutes

Sit or lie down comfortably. Close your eyes.

Place one hand on your chest, one on your belly. Inhale deeply through the nose, exhale slowly through the mouth.

Repeat this phrase silently:

“I am safe to move slowly. I am allowed to rest. My energy is returning to me.”

Visualize a soft golden light pooling in your belly. With each breath, let it grow steadier.

Stay here for 3 minutes. Notice how your energy begins to settle.

Final Words: This Is About Healing, Not Hustling

You don’t need to force yourself to be consistent, in fact forcing yourself to be consistent will likely only lead to less consistency. Instead, you need to nurture the conditions that allow consistency to emerge.

When your inner wounds are tended to with presence and love, your body will feel safer, and when your body feels safer your energy will stabilize —and consistency becomes a natural byproduct.

So no, you’re not lazy. You’re healing. And healing is one of the best things you can commit to in order to not only improve your consistency, but your overall well-being. 

If our approach to improving consistency speaks to you, reach out to us! We’d love to give you even more information and holistic, somatic tools to support you on your journey to consistency and wellness. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper righthand corner of our website, submit a contact form, and we will be in touch with you ASAP!

♡ The Brave Embodiment Counseling Team

Click here to get in touch!

Welcoming Summer – A Season of Light and Expansion

Hello Brave Ones! 

Happy pride month and welcome summer! As we step into June, the arrival of summer brings with it a powerful energetic shift. The days grow longer, the sun brighter, and life often seems to move faster. The summer solstice will occur on Saturday June 21st marking the longest day of the year–when the sun reaches its highest point in the sky at noon–and “the official start of summer” in the Northern Hemisphere takes place. 

Summer is ruled by the fire element in many healing traditions—symbolizing growth, joy, vitality, and outward movement. Spiritually and emotionally, this season invites us to expand, play, and connect, but that expansion can also bring up challenges.

Many people find that as their outer world becomes busier—with vacations, social events, and changing routines—their inner world may begin to feel overstimulated, scattered, or neglected. Because of this, emotions can rise to the surface more quickly and you may also experience bursts of inspiration and motivation, followed by feelings of burnout or disconnection.

This season asks us to balance our desire for movement and connection with the need for grounding, intention, and rest. Therapy can offer a supportive space to navigate that balance—but summer’s spontaneity can make it challenging to stay consistent which brings us to one of this month’s featured guides (10 Tips for Staying Consistent with Therapy this Summer) located in section 3. 

But first, section 2 where we honor Pride Month – acknowledging and celebrating the pain, the beauty, the resilience and the diversity of the 2SLGBTQQIPAA community. You’ll find simple, meaningful ways to celebrate, show support, and stand in solidarity, whether you’re part of the community or an ally.

Section 2: June is Pride Month

June is Pride Month – a time to honor the 2SLGBTQQIPAA community not only through celebration, but through deepening visibility, connection, and solidarity. Pride reminds us that even if we don’t personally identify, we all have a role in standing up for each other’s humanity, because no one is free until everyone is.

Since we are based in Denver we are sharing some details for the Denver Pride Celebration, however most cities and towns host their own Pride Celebrations so be sure to research details on your local celebrations as well!  

Denver Pride Celebration 

• Dates & Times: Saturday 6/28 11:00am - 7:00pm and Sunday 6/29 10:00am-6:00pm

• Info: Beginning in 1974, Denver Pride is an event produced by The Center on Colfax—a 501(c)(3) nonprofit serving the LGBTQ+ community year-round. Now the largest Pride celebration in the Rocky Mountain region, the event draws over 500,000 visitors and includes a parade, 5K, a gayborhood market, performances, DJ’s, a Latin stage, a family area – a really amazing festival! Proceeds from the weekend directly support vital 2SLGBTQQIPAA+ services like mental health care, youth and senior programming, and support for transgender and gender-diverse individuals.

• Click here for more info on Denver Pride 

Not in town on the 28th and 29th? No problem! There are events happening all throughout the month of June, some of which you can find here . And, if events aren’t your thing, here are some other ways to support the 2SLGBTQQIPAA community:

• Read a book: 

• “Gender Trauma” by: Alex Iantaffi

• “Beyond the Gender Binary” by: Alok Vaid-Menon

• “Gender Queer” by: Maia Kobabe

• “All Boys Aren’t Blue” by: George M. Johnson

• “Stone Butch Blues” by: Leslie Feinberg

• Volunteer:

• The Center on Colfax

• One Colorado

• Gay for Good Denver

• The Trans Continental Pipeline

• Support 2SLGBTQQIPAA Makers & Businesses:

• Courageous Space (Yoga Studio)

• Quince Coffee House

• Vibe Gym & Wellness

• Hamburger Mary’s

• Lady Justice Brewing

*This is not an exhaustive list, just a few ideas to get you started! We encourage you to do your own research and see how you’d like to contribute.*

Section 3: 10 Tips for Staying Consistent with Therapy this Summer

Summer’s spontaneous energy can easily lead to skipping self-care routines, including therapy. However, staying consistent through seasonal shifts can actually deepen your progress and help you integrate new awareness into daily life. Here are ten tips for maintaining your momentum:

1. Schedule Ahead: Book your summer sessions in advance to hold space for yourself before your calendar fills up.

2. Set a Summer Therapy Intention: Get clear on what you want to focus on during this season—it helps maintain purpose.

3. Consider Virtual Sessions: If you’re traveling or your schedule is packed, teletherapy can be a powerful alternative.

4. Make It Part of Your Summer Routine: Attach therapy to another summer ritual (like morning walks or post-hike journaling).

5. Communicate with Your Therapist: If your availability changes, work together to find new rhythms or creative solutions.

6. Use Your Therapy Time to Process Summer Themes: Socializing and social anxiety, relationship shifts, body image, family dynamics, or spiritual exploration—let it all in.

7. Practice Micro-Check-Ins: Between sessions, take 2–5 minutes to reflect on how you’re feeling emotionally/spiritually.

8. Track Your Emotional Weather: Keep a summer feelings journal to notice patterns or emotional highs/lows.

9. Create a Summer Self-Care List: What grounds and restores you? Keep a list handy when things get busy or chaotic.

10. Remember Why You Started: Revisit your original reasons for starting therapy—it often reminds us that these deeper patterns we are wanting to work on don’t just disappear because it’s sunny out – revisiting your motivations and goals will help renew your commitment to your inner work and therapy.

Even in the most expansive and active seasons, healing and growth thrives on consistency. Showing up for yourself—especially when it's inconvenient—is a powerful act of self-love which can create healing and growth in itself.

♡ The Brave Embodiment Counseling Team

Click here to get in touch!

Beyond “Mental Health”: Tending to Your Inner Garden This May

As holistic therapists, we tend to approach the month of May—Mental Health Awareness Month—with mixed feelings.

Yes, we’re grateful that we have a month dedicated to destigmatizing emotional and psychological challenges. But, we also feel called to speak honestly: the term “mental health” itself is outdated. In fact, it can be misleading.

When we say “mental” health, we unintentionally reinforce the idea that emotional and psychological well-being is just in our heads—a purely cognitive, mental, or brain-based issue. This disconnects us from the deeper truth: our emotions, our trauma, our healing—they don’t live only in the mind. They live in our bodies, our breath, our relationships, our energy, and in the pace and rhythm of our lives.

True healing doesn’t happen in the mind alone. It happens when we return to wholeness and tend to ourselves and each other holistically.

We Are Not Just Minds With Bodies—We Are Embodied Minds

Modern neuroscience, trauma research, and ancient healing traditions all point to the same reality: the human experience is an embodied one. What we often call “mental health” is actually a whole-body process. We can’t simply think our way into healing (if we could, many of us would’ve done this already). Instead, we must feel, move, rest, connect, cry, and breathe our way into healing. 

If you’ve ever experienced anxiety and noticed your heart race or your gut twist into knots, you know this. Emotions show up in the body. Therefore, healing must also take place in the body, not just at the mental level. 

That’s why, in holistic therapy,, we don’t separate the mind from the body, or the individual from their environment. We understand that you yourself are a system and you exist within a system—that emotional wellness is woven into how you sleep, how you eat, how you relate to others, how you relate to yourself, how you breathe, how much sunlight you get, what kind of work you do, and how safe you feel in your nervous system.

Tending to Your Inner Garden

The month of May is a time when the earth bursts into bloom, reminding us of the rhythms of nature that we too are meant to live by.

In this spirit, as therapists we often use the analogy of tending to an inner garden. Imagine your emotional life as a garden inside of you. What kind of soil are your thoughts and feelings rooted in? Soil is the foundation for growth, so perhaps thinking about your own foundation…your childhood. Was the soil of your childhood nutrient rich and fertile? Or perhaps there were factors that got  in the way of your developmental years being nourishing. And now, present day - are you receiving enough sunlight—joy, rest, creativity? Are your roots nourished with connection, nutrition, movement, stillness?

There’s a beautiful quote by Alexander Den Heijer that says:

“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.”

Too often in mainstream approaches to “mental health” focus on fixing the flower. Mainstream mental health pathologizes a person’s symptoms and rushes to suppress them. But rarely do mainstream mental health approaches ask: “What kind of soil is this person growing in? What’s happening in their environment, relationships, and daily rhythms that might be hindering their natural capacity to thrive?”

Holistic healing is about tending the soil, not forcing the bloom.

Tending to Each Other: Why We Need Each Other to Be Well

As holistic therapists, we have seen time and again that healing doesn’t happen in isolation. While the dominant mental health narrative in American culture often frames healing as an individual pursuit—“Go to therapy and figure yourself out”—this lens is only part of the story. Yes, individual therapy is incredibly valuable (we’re big fans of it!), but it is not the whole story. Humans are wired for connection, and it is within the context of relationships, community, and co-regulation that deep healing and transformation can truly take root.

Too often, "mental health" is treated like a solo project, as though the path to wellness lies entirely within individual self-awareness and boundary-setting. And while insight and healthy boundaries are crucial tools, they are not the only ones we need. What often gets lost in Westernized models of care is the understanding that we heal in relationship—in spaces where we are seen, heard, supported, and held with care.

Relational care isn't just an idealistic notion, it’s a biological necessity. Our nervous systems are wired for connection. From birth, we rely on caregivers to help regulate our emotional states because we are born with all the emotions but none the circuitry or skills to regulate those emotions. That need for co-regulation doesn’t disappear in adulthood—it just becomes less visible in a culture that values self-sufficiency and hyperindependence over interdependence. True nervous system healing requires spaces where we can feel safe with others, not just within ourselves.

Community and connection also help break cycles of silence—those invisible legacies we carry around trauma, shame, and disconnection. When we share our truths in safe, affirming spaces, we interrupt those patterns. We remember that we are not alone. And in being witnessed, we allow the exiled parts of ourselves to join, to be part of it, to feel connected which has a significant impact on well-being. 

A major challenge to truly engaging with the connection, relational and community aspect of healing and growth is an overemphasis on boundaries and an underemphasis on repair being taught in Westernized therapy. Boundaries are absolutely essential—especially with people who have caused harm or who are unsafe—but when we’re taught to cut people off at the first sign of discomfort or conflict, we risk reinforcing disconnection rather than healing it. There’s a difference between protecting yourself and abandoning the possibility of deeper, more meaningful connection.

Relational repair—learning to work through conflict, rather than around it—is one of the most transformative practices we can engage in. It asks us to stay present, to lean into discomfort with care, and to recognize that closeness often comes after rupture and repair, not before. Learning how to navigate relational repair can be uncomfortable, but it is also deeply liberating and humanizing. We were never meant to do this work or life alone.

Individual therapy can absolutely be the doorway to healing. It can be the first time someone feels safe enough to explore their inner world. But we cannot build a whole life of connection with just one safe relationship. Healing requires more than one safe person. It requires community, chosen family, soul friendships, and people we can be real with—especially when things get messy. 

In a culture that often individualizes pain and commodifies healing, we must return to what’s always been true: we need each other. Not in a co-dependent way, but in a deeply human way. Healing happens when we are held in community, when we experience safe connection, and when we learn—together—how to return to each other with more presence, compassion, and care.

What True “Mental Health” Support Looks Like

True support for emotional well-being honors the whole person. In our work as a holistic therapists, this includes:

• Offering a person information (psychoeducation) on what is happening in their brains and bodies when they are feeling a certain way and how past relational experiences and traumas can create unfinished stress responses that are being held within the body.

• Speaking the language of the body by supporting nervous system regulation through breathwork, movement, somatic awareness and somatic exercises.

• Exploring ancestral patterns or unprocessed trauma stored in the brain and body.

• Working with the rhythms of nature—resting more in winter, expanding in summer. Supporting folks to  learn and identify their own inner rhythms related to hormonal fluctuations and their own personal seasons of healing, growth and harvest.

• Integrating nutrition, sleep, and lifestyle into the therapeutic process.

• Encouraging embodied presence (the felt sense), rather than intellectual analysis alone

• Guiding people to experience or feel their own energy, the fluctuations of that energy and sensing the energy of other nervous systems and the culture around them.

• Cultivating self-compassion and slowing down enough to feel what you feel, helping your body learn to metabolize and digest the sometimes intense emotional energy that comes with various life experiences.

• Experiential practice of expressing needs, hurts, boundaries, and preferences and coaching and skill building on how to work through conflict not only within one’s self but with others as well. 

• Encouragement for you to participate in group processes and/or find a community you feel connected to and safe in.
  

This isn’t about chasing happiness or symptom relief. It’s about becoming more fully yourself and in doing so symptoms reduce and a sense of well-being, contentness and peace arrive. It’s about inhabiting your body, trusting your rhythms, and allowing space for all of you—grief, joy, fear, creativity, longing—to exist and be held with care and compassion. 

Mental Health as Wholeness

So this May, instead of asking “How’s your mental health?”, try asking:

• How’s the soil you’re growing in?

• Are you getting the light, nourishment, rest, and connection you need?

• What would it mean to truly honor your wholeness—not just your mind, but your body, spirit, and heart?
  

Healing isn’t linear. It’s seasonal. It moves like a garden—sometimes blooming, sometimes resting, sometimes shedding what no longer serves. When we honor this, we shift from treating symptoms to cultivating well-being.

Let’s reclaim “mental health” as embodied wellness—a return to our natural state of balance, aliveness, and connection.

Let May be your invitation to tend your inner garden.

Gently. Patiently. Holistically.

If our approach to “mental health” speaks to you, reach out to us! We seriously cannot wait to connect with you and walk alongside you on your journey to wellness. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper righthand corner of our website, submit a contact form, and we will be in touch with you ASAP!

♡ The Brave Embodiment Counseling Team

Click here to get in touch!

Embodying Possibility & Self-Worth - A Free Meditation

Hello Brave Community!

Tax season has a way of pulling us into a swirl of numbers, deadlines, and pressure-- whether you're self-employed, sorting through receipts, or just feeling the collective intensity of this time of year. Even when it's over, the residue of stress often lingers in the body and mind, quietly tightening our thinking and dulling our sense of self-worth.

As holistic therapists, we've witnessed how this subtle tension can shape how we see ourselves and what we believe is possible. That's why this month's FREE guided meditation is devoted to you -- to giving your system a much-needed settling. 

Click here to access our post tax season Release Stress And Open To Self Love And Possibility meditation by Brave Embodiment Counseling's own, Kim Massale. 

This brief, soothing meditation begins by exploring how stress impacts the nervous system and blocks expansive thinking and self-love. From there, you'll be gently guided to release the stress your body is holding and reconnect with your worth and the energy of possibility. 

If you found this meditation useful, be sure to follow us on Insight Timer by clicking "follow" on our teacher profile!

Click here to get in touch!

Intro to May

Hello Brave Community!

May invites a sense of renewal -- longer days, blossoming flowers, and the rhythm of growth humming all around us. May lives at the crossroads of spring and summer in the Northern Hemisphere, a time of ripening.

Spiritually, this time of year often symbolizes fertility, nurturing, creative life force energy, and new beginnings. And yet, like most seasons of growth, this one brings complexity.

Mother's Day can stir a wide range of emotions -- grief, longing, joy, guilt, or even numbness. Graduation season, too, can evoke both pride and uncertainty, excitement and overwhelm. 

So how do we stay present when this month asks so much of our hearts?

We return to wholeness. 

May is also "Mental Health Awareness Month", though we prefer to reframe that: because the term "mental health" is actually outdated. It suggests that our emotional wellness is something that lives only in the mind -- when in truth, we are body-minds, as Dan Siegel beautifully names. Our emotions, thoughts, and experiences live in the tissues, the breath, the posture.

That's what holistic therapy is about: tending to the full human experience -- not just talking about it, but feeling and moving through it. And that matters now more than ever. 

If you've been struggling, or feeling ready to bloom, we want you to know that you're not alone and we are here for you as you navigate all that comes with the month of May ♡

Mini Body-Mind Reset

Here's a short but powerful practice to meet this month's energy with compassion and curiosity.

May Integration Practice: A Somatic + Journaling Moment

1. Ground (2 min)

• Place both feet on the floor. Gently press them down and notice the floor pressing back. Take three slow breaths, letting your exhale be just a little longer than your inhale. Allow your shoulders to drop. Let your belly soften. 

2. Listen (2 min)

• If it feels okay, place one hand over your heart and one on your lower belly (or anywhere else on your body that feels okay).

• Ask yourself:
  What does this season bring up for me? Where am I growing? Where am I tender?

• Then, just listen and receive, with openness and compassion, whatever comes.

3. Journal (5-10 min)

Choose one of these prompts:

• "Right now my heart feels..."

• "If I could name what this season is teaching me, it would be..."

• "I am letting go of _______________. I am opening to _________________."

This simple practice invites your whole system -- mind, body, and soul -- to be part of your healing journey. 

And, as always, we are here to support your process ♡ Whether you’re navigating complex mother's day emotions, struggling to stay present, or just wanting to feel more grounded this season – you are not alone and we got you!

Email us at info@bravecounseling.com to schedule a FREE consultation with one of our highly-skilled, compassionate therapists today!

Therapist Highlight

Meet the good-humored and curious Elisa Clark!

Elisa (she/her) is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Colorado, currently providing virtual services from the east coast.

Elisa has navigated a variety of jobs in administration, retail, childcare, jewelry design, and management while learning how she wanted to be of service in the world. This self-exploration ultimately led her to a Masters degree from Naropa University in Mindfulness-Based Transpersonal Counseling.

After receiving her degree, Elisa worked in college and high school settings, community-based case management, and specialized treatment for first-episode psychosis in teens and young adults.

Elisa is passionate about collaborating with her clients in creating new narratives for themselves featuring empowered choices, nonjudgmental attitudes, and self-acceptance. She supports the people she works with in growing beyond their trauma with and increasing their freedom in day-to-day life. Elisa is unafraid to explore the unknown and is skilled at utilizing humor to reveal truths, test new perspectives, and connect with the present moment.

Elisa uses and integrates a variety of therapy modalities including...

• Transpersonal personal counseling

• Mindfulness training

• Narrative therapy

• mCBT

• Gestalt therapy

• Solution-focused interventions

• Enneagram

• Expressive arts

Elisa specializes in helping people...

• During times of transition and life pivots of all kinds (including career, identity, grief & loss, etc.)

• Cultivate a meaning-based, purpose-aligned life 

• Make space for present-focused awareness

• Develop their spirituality (if that's of interest)

• Utilize radical acceptance as a tool for change

• Challenge self-limiting beliefs and patterns

• Find the pause, to facilitate mindful responses to stressors

Elisa as a person↓

► Personality: Creative, Warm, and Curious

►  Activities: Mixing art with adventure, tending plants, and finding humor in daily life

► Favorite Quote: “We are here to awaken from our illusion of separateness.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh

We offer FREE 30-45 minute consultations. If Elisa, or any of our other amazing therapists catch your eye, let us know -- we will get you connected ASAP! 

♡ The Brave Embodiment Counseling Team

Click here to get in touch!

Unpacking Money Stress: A Holistic Approach to Tax Season & Your Relationship with Money

For many of us, tax season brings a familiar pit-in-the-stomach feeling: tension, overwhelm, maybe even dread. Whether it’s anxiety about what we owe, shame about how we’ve spent, or confusion about where our money actually goes, financial stress can feel like a storm cloud that follows us into every corner of life. 

As holistic therapists, we’ve noticed how deeply money stress touches the nervous system. It can feel like chronic low-grade fear, like grief, or even like numbness. It’s not just about numbers – it’s about beliefs, nervous system wiring, and the survival response we learned growing up. 

So, in this blog, we aim to slow it all down and take a compassionate look at where money stress comes from and how we can begin to heal it. 

Where Money Stress Comes From

Money stress isn’t just about how much you make or how well you budget. It’s often rooted in deeper beliefs and nervous system responses shaped by your upbringing, cultural messaging, and life experiences. 

Money Beliefs Start Early

Maybe you grew up hearing things like:

• “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

• “We can’t afford that.”

• “Rich people are greedy.”

• “If you were better with money, you wouldn’t be in this situation.”

• “Money solves problems.”

• “We don’t talk about money.”

• “Don’t flaunt it.”

• “You’ll inherit this one day, so be careful.”

• “Protect the family legacy.” 

These messages often live under the surface and silently shape how we interact with money present day. And, keep in mind, not all messages that our minds and bodies absorb about money are explicit. Some are implicit like… 

• Feeling the tension between your parents as they argued over money

• Sensing the energy shift when you asked for lunch money to go out with your friends in high school

• Your caregivers being exhausted all the time due to working multiple jobs in order to get by

• Feeling the inauthenticity in your home environment and the distrust your parents had toward other people because they were wealthy and thought people always wanted something from them or were after their money.

Even if you’ve grown beyond those childhood moments intellectually, your body and nervous system might still be reacting to money as if it’s unsafe, scarce, something to be protected at all costs, or shameful. 

Money Stress Lives in the Body

Our nervous systems interpret money issues as threats to safety because in our modern world money is the thing that keeps a roof over our heads and food on the table. That’s why checking your bank account can trigger panic, or why financial conversations can lead to shutdown, avoidance and conflict. When it comes to money, it’s so important to remember that it’s not about selfishness, laziness or irresponsibility – it’s about nervous system regulation and safety. 

Common Limiting Beliefs That Drive Money Stress

Some common beliefs we tend to hear as holistic therapists include:

• “I’m just bad with money.”

• “There’s never enough.”

• “I’ll never get ahead.”

• “I don’t deserve wealth.”

• “Money doesn’t matter to me.” 

• “My worth is tied to my wealth.”

• “People only like me for my money.”

• “I’m not allowed to struggle or ask for help.”

• “I didn’t earn this, so I don’t deserve it.”

• “Being rich makes me a bad or selfish person.”

These beliefs tend to operate in the background, driving unconscious behaviors like:

• Avoiding bank statements and tax documents

• Restricting spending out of fear, even on things that matter

• Overspending or impulse buying to soothe stress

• Judging or criticizing others’ spending habits

• Feeling shame about debt or not having savings

• Saying, “I don’t care about money,” when the truth is: you do, but it feels painful to admit

• Always picking up the check to “earn” love or belonging

• Lying or omitting details about your background to avoid feeling judged or embarrassed when others find out you are wealthy

• Chasing high-paying or prestigious roles even when they are unfulfilling to you

How to Identify Your Money Beliefs

Here are a few reflective prompts to help you notice the stories you carry around money: 

• What’s the first memory you have about money? Take a moment, center yourself, let your mind go and see what memory it brings you (write it down). 

• What messages did your caregivers give you about money, directly or indirectly?

• What do you feel in your body when you think about looking at your bank account or doing your taxes?

• Complete the sentence: “Money is _______________.” (Then ask: “What makes me believe that? Or, how did I get to that conclusion?”

Common Ways We Cope With Money Stress

It’s important to name the coping strategies many of us humans have developed in relation to money with compassion. It’s important to not judge and remember that these ways of coping were tools your inner system once needed to get through the situation you were in. 

Here are some we see often:

• Avoidance: Not opening bills, ignoring bank accounts, procrastinating taxes, avoiding money topics in conversations, not budgeting, pushing off debt and financial conversations.

• Over-Control: Hypervigilant budgeting, never allowing “unnecessary” spending, feeling unsafe spending even on basic needs or joy, constantly thinking about money and worst-case scenarios.

• Emotional or Impulse Spending: Using shopping to escape,soothe or distract from emotional pain and also to reward yourself. Continuously spending money to create comfort for yourself rather than allowing yourself to experience discomfort. 

• Minimizing: Telling yourself money doesn’t matter when it actually does. Saying, “I didn’t get into this line of work for the money” denying the importance of money. 

• Externalizing: Criticizing others for how they spend, to deflect from your own discomfort. 

• Overworking: Working hard to feel like you’ve “earned” the wealth you inherited, or struggling to allow yourself to rest or receive support without shame. Equating busyness with security or value.

• Under-Earning or Undervaluing: Staying in underpaid jobs out of fear or loyalty. Not negotiating raises or charging what you’re worth. Believe you have to “suffer” to be good or responsible. 

• Giving Excessively or Performatively: Giving away, donating or using philanthropy as ways to ease emotional discomfort of being wealthy rather than creating real connection and change. 

• Codependence or Financial Enmeshment: Relying on others for financial rescue or stability. Staying in relationships or unhealthy family dynamics so you don’t get cut off financially now or in the future. 

• Rebelling Against Wealth: Rejecting money, choosing a simple life and making a point of not needing money even when it’s readily available to you. 

• Disconnection or Fatalism: Believing you’ll never get ahead, so why try? Being disconnected from long-term vision or future planning. 

Can you relate to any of these ways of coping? (Most of us can.)

Healing Your Relationship With Money: Holistic Tools & Practices

Healing your relationship with money is a process, not a quick fix. It’s about reconnecting with your body, reshaping your beliefs, and learning new ways to relate to money that feel grounded and aligned with your values. 

Here are some concrete tools to try:

• Money Mapping - This is a practice of tracking where your money goes – not to judge, but to understand. Look at your bank statements and ask:

• Where is my money actually going?

• How do I feel about these purchases?

• Which ones align with my values?

• Which ones reflect impulse, fear, numbing, or avoidance?

Quick Tip: Create categories like “soul-giving”, “survival”, “numbing,” and “auto-pilot”. This helps you move from shame to curiosity. 

• Somatic Awareness - When financial stress shows up, pause and ask:

• What’s happening in my body right now?

• Can I offer myself support – maybe a hand on the heart, a deep breath, or grounding through my feet?

You can’t budget your way out of a dysregulated nervous system. You’ve got to show your nervous system that you are in fact safe by engaging in regulation strategies that speak directly to your body and return your nervous system to safety or homeostasis – then, clarity will follow. 

• Values-Based Spending - Ask yourself:

• What do I actually value? What matters most to me at my core?

• Does my spending reflect those values?

For example, if you value connection, but spend little on social or community-based experiences, that might be an area to re-align. 

• Rewriting Money Beliefs - Once you’ve identified a limiting money belief, try writing its opposite. 

• Old Belief: “There’s never enough.”

• New Belief: “There is enough to go around; my needs will be met.”

If you find yourself having a hard time believing and feeling your new belief, try using a process-belief. You’ll know you don’t believe your new belief when your body resists it, argues with it, rolls its eyes at it, etc. A process-belief is a new belief “in process” i.e. it’s the interim belief that we can feel as true in our bodies as we make our way to our new belief. 

• Process Belief: “There were times in my life when there wasn’t enough and I am learning to trust that my needs will be met.”

• Create a Money Date Ritual - Set aside 15-30 minutes once a week to spend time with and tend to your money – review spending, check in with intentions, pay bills. Light a candle, play music…make it as gentle, nurturing and enjoyable as possible. 

Remember, the goal is to shift your relationship with money; it’s consistency over perfection.

Closing Thoughts

Tax season might always carry some stress – but it can also be a yearly invitation to tend to your financial well-being with compassion and care. 

You don’t have to be perfect with money to build a healthier relationship with it. You just have to be willing to get curious, stay connected to your body, and take one step at a time. 

Your relationship with money is just that – a relationship. And like any relationship, it can grow, heal, and become a source of safety and support over time. 

Many people struggle to rewrite their limiting beliefs on their own, because this “rewriting process” is not purely intellectual. Our bodies and nervous systems must be involved in order for us to untangle from the old beliefs and neural networks that support them, and then build new beliefs and neural networks. It can be incredibly useful to work with a holistic, somatically trained therapist when it comes to rewriting limiting beliefs and actually feeling different about money. If you’re ready to receive compassion, connection, support and guidance in rewriting your money beliefs, we got you – just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

April Reflections: Money Stress, Beliefs & A Gentle Invitation

Unpacking Money Stress: A Holistic Look at Tax Season

Hi Brave Community!

As spring settles in and new life emerges all around us, many of us find ourselves feeling tense. This time of year, aka “tax season”, often brings a spike in stress – tight chests, scattered thoughts, perhaps shame and panic. 

And, while it’s easy to blame numbers on paper or looming deadlines, the roots of this stress actually reaches far deeper. 

What if the real tension isn’t about money itself, but about the stories we’ve been told – and the ones we keep telling ourselves? 

Where Money Stress Comes From

Money is more than just numbers and math. It’s emotions. It’s history. It’s the messages our minds and nervous systems absorbed from our families and our culture. 

Maybe you grew up hearing, “We can’t afford that.” Maybe you watched your caregivers fight about money, work themselves to exhaustion trying to survive, or protect suspiciously and fiercely around their wealth. 

Over time, these early experiences become core beliefs:

• “Money is scarce.”

• “People are only after your money.”

• “I have to work hard to deserve ease.”

• “Money equals success.”

• “I’m bad with money.”

• “Wanting money makes you greedy.”

These beliefs don’t just live in the mind – they show up in our bodies, our behaviors, our choices – especially in moments like tax season.

Money stress isn’t just about taxes – taxes are the trigger that bring your money beliefs and subsequent stress responses to the surface. 

We also want to take a moment to acknowledge the very real distress and pain that can accompany having to let go of hard earned money when you disagree with how your tax dollars are being used. 

A Gentle Invitation

There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling overwhelmed right now and you are certainly not alone. This is a potent opportunity to pause, reflect, and meet your money stress with compassion and curiosity. 

Here are a few journal questions to help you gently explore:

1. What physical sensations arise when I think about money right now?

2. What was I taught about money growing up (directly or indirectly)?

3. What beliefs do I carry about earning, saving, or spending money?

4. What do I wish I believed about money?

5. If I could write a new money story, what would I want it to feel like in my body?

You don’t have to figure it all out right away. Simply bringing awareness to these patterns is a powerful first step. And remember, your body and beliefs are not fixed – they’re adaptable, responsive, and wise <3

As always, we are here to support your process. Whether you’re navigating money stress, emotional triggers, or just wanting to feel more grounded this season – you are not alone and we got you! Just email us at info@bravecounseling.com to schedule a free consultation with one of our compassionate and non-judgemental therapists today! 

Therapist Highlight: Marlys Hersey

Meet the genuine, spicy, and good-humored Marlys Hersey!

Marlys (she/they) is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Licensed Addiction Counselor in the state of Colorado.

Throughout their career in counseling Marlys has worked in a variety of settings including community mental health, intensive rehabilitation treatment, integrated medicine, and private practice.

Marlys strives to allow the people she works with the space to gain essential insight & awareness, and learn the skills needed to create new and different results in their lives. Marlys fosters partnerships with their clients to help you feel better, function better, connect more easily with others, enjoy your life more, and move towards your goals with clarity, humor, and grace.

Marlys offers individual and couples therapy and is energized by working with folks who are motivated, open to collaborating, and 15 years or older.

Marlys uses and integrates a variety of therapy modalities including...

◾️ EMDR (Eye Movement and Desensitization Therapy)

◾️ IFS (Internal Family Systems)

◾️ SFBT (Solution-Focused Brief Therapy)

◾️ EFT (Emotion Focused Therapy)

◾️ Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction and Relapse Prevention

◾️ DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy)

◾️ ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)

◾️ LGBTQIA2S+ Affirming Therapy

Marlys specializes in helping people to...

◾️ Understand entrenched patterns and embrace various parts of themselves to reach a greater sense of wholeness

◾️ First understand their own behavior, and then learn and practice life-changing skills in emotional regulation, interpersonal effectiveness, mindfulness, and distress tolerance

◾️ Explore their preferred futures, and work towards the creating the lives they truly want

◾️ Improve their relationships – including with themselves

◾️ Heal from trauma

◾️ Function better day-to-day and reconnect with a sense of joy and purpose

Marlys as a person↓

►Personality: Strong, Witty, Curious

► Activities: Hiking, biking, hula hooping, walking, traveling, reading, writing, improv, staring at the sky (day or night), hanging out and talking with friends, snorkeling, and kayaking.

►Fun Facts: Marlys currently lives in San Luis Valley (south central CO) and has lived & traveled all over the U.S. and to several other countries -- they're hoping to finally make it to Europe this year. She's had over 100 jobs, is an animal lover, (with a special thing for cats), and has been involved in cat rescue and TNR efforts for years.

►Favorite Quote: "Life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced." - Soren Kierkegaard

Emerging from Winter: Clearing Emotional Clutter, Restoring Energy, and Embracing Spring’s Renewal

The Awakening Energy of Spring

As winter melts into spring (or…winter/spring/winter/spring as we do it here in Colorado!), many of us feel an inner stirring – a call to emerge from the slower, quieter months and reawaken to life. This transition can feel both energizing and overwhelming. Just as nature shakes off winter’s chill, we too must tend to our inner landscape to clear out emotional clutter, restore energy, and embrace spring’s renewal with balance. 

Clearing Emotional and Mental Clutter

Emotional clutter refers to the mental, emotional, and energetic buildup that accumulates over time – often without us realizing it. Just like a house gathers dust when left untouched, our inner world can become cluttered with unprocessed emotions, lingering wishes, unfinished stress responses, or mental loops that weigh us down. 

Winter’s slow pace and increased indoor time often brings introspection – which can be valuable – but, sometimes this inward focus amplifies old fears, regrets, or anxieties. Emotional clutter can also stem from:

• Unfinished Emotional Processing – Emotions that were pushed aside during the busier seasons likely surfaced when life slowed down during the winter months. But, emotions surfacing and emotions moving and processing are two different things. 

• Isolation and Stagnation – The longer nights and reduced social connection during winter can increase feelings of heaviness and mental fog. 

• Unexpressed Grief or Longing – Winter’s quiet can stir memories of what’s unresolved, and if we aren’t actively doing something with what’s unresolved then we can end up cycling around in the pain and the yuck throughout the winter.

• Internalized Conditioning and Beliefs – Messages from family, culture, or society – such as “I must always be productive”, or, “What I need isn’t important” – can create pressure and emotional heaviness. When we slow down during the winter and become introspective, these beliefs can surface.

• Unclear Boundaries – When we take on the feelings, expectations, or energy of others without clear energetic or emotional boundaries, emotional clutter builds. Winter has a way of naturally implementing more boundaries and down time (due to the weather), so it’s not uncommon to really begin to feel the effects of unclear boundaries have had on you over time. 

• Unfinished Business and Unresolved Conflicts – Unspoken words, lingering resentment, or unresolved relational dynamics can also surface during the winter when things are slower. Things that are unfinished and unresolved take up mental and emotional space inside, even when we try to suppress, forget or “let it go”. 

Spring’s energy invites movement, release, and renewal. Here are a few ways we can clear out stagnant emotions or built-up mental and emotional clutter:

• Journal for Clarity – Writing out thoughts and feelings can reveal what’s been lingering beneath the surface. This is a great first step in identifying what has built-up or what’s lingering and stagnant. 

• Name What You’re Releasing – Take your journaling a step further and clearly identify what is no longer serving you – maybe it’s self-doubt, resentment, or outdated beliefs – allow yourself to get clear on what you want to release this spring. 

• Bottom-Up Emotional Processing Work – Once you’ve clearly identified what you want to release, it’s time to take action by feeling your emotions all the way through so they can release from your mind, body, and soul. It’s important to get past the intellectual level of just thinking about your emotions and what you want to release, to actually feeling it all and feeling the release of it in your body. 

• Move Your Body – Physical movement (like stretching, yoga, dancing, somatic therapy, etc.) helps unlock stored tension and supports emotional flow. 

• Ritual - Doing something experiential like a fire bowl ritual creates another pathway and more support in helping your inner system release what is no longer serving you. Click here for simple fire ritual instructions.

• Create Space for Closure – If you’ve been avoiding a difficult conversation, project, or decision, now may be the time to address it and clear that mental weight. It could also be the case that some sort of protective response within you has been blocking you from creating closure – if that’s the case, try focusing on that protective response with bottom-up emotional processing work. 

Clearing emotional and mental clutter is less about “letting it go” and forcing your inner experiences to stop. It’s more about inviting spaciousness, making room for clarity, creativity, and a deeper sense of presence. By consciously releasing emotional clutter, you can create space for spring’s revitalizing energy to move freely within you. 

Navigating the Emotional Impact of Seasonal Shifts

As humans, we are deeply connected to nature, yet modern life rarely honors this. The shift from winter to spring is a powerful biological and energetic change – yet many of us are expected to maintain the same routine year-round. 

Navigating the seasonal shift from winter to spring invites both intention and compassion. While spring’s increasing light and warmth can feel energizing, this transition can also be jarring – especially since winter’s slower pace promoted rest and introspection. The body may need time to recalibrate, and emotions that were quieter in winter may surface as energy rises. This “thawing out” can bring feelings of agitation, overwhelm, or even grief, as unresolved emotions emerge alongside the season’s momentum. Recognizing this as part of a natural cycle can ease self-judgement and help you respond with greater care. 

If you’re curious to know more ways this seasonal shift can affect us humans, click here to check out a recent blog of ours on this topic. 

To support yourself during this shift, consider practices that bridge the stillness of winter with the movement of spring. Grounding techniques – such as breathwork, gentle stretching,mindful walking, or this grounding practice that’s part of our Quick Guides to Healing – can anchor you as your energy begins to expand. Balancing rest with activity is key; you may feel moments of excitement and productivity followed by fatigue, which is normal as your system adjusts. Tending to your nervous system through somatic practices, nourishing foods, and moments of quiet reflection can create steadiness amid change. Above all, honoring your unique rhythm – rather than forcing yourself to match the pace of American culture – allows you to emerge from winter with intention, resilience, and renewed vitality. 

**If you found our Quick Guide to Healing on grounding useful, click here to sign up for our newsletter to stay in the loop and receive more FREE quick healing tips & guides!

Restoring Energy After Winter Burnout

Winter’s slower pace invites rest, but for many people, it can also result in a kind of “energy stagnation”. While spring’s longer days and warming temperatures naturally boost energy, this renewed vitality can feel uncomfortable if your body or mind is still in winter’s slower rhythm. 

As Newton’s first law suggests, “an object at rest stays at rest”, after months of being slower and more inward, your system may resist the sudden increase in momentum and you end up feeling “wired-but-tired”. This common spring experience arises when your energy feels scattered – as if your mind is racing while your body struggles to keep up. It’s often a sign that your nervous system is still adjusting. 

How to Restore Energy with Balance:

• Start with Gentle Movement – Instead of jumping into intense exercise or packed schedules, begin with stretching, walking, or light cardio to gradually wake up your system. You can add more over time.

• Embrace Morning Sunlight – Exposing your eyes to natural light in the morning helps regulate your circadian rhythm and increases energy naturally. Try going for morning walks before starting your work day. 

• Prioritize Grounding Practices – Breathwork, mindfulness, or time in nature can stabilize the “buzziness” that often accompanies spring’s arrival. 

• Replenish Depleted Nutrients – Focus on fresh, vibrant foods rich in B vitamins, magnesium, and antioxidants to nourish your body as it shifts gears. 

• Balance Rest and Activity - Do your best to schedule in downtime or nervous system resets (like a 5 minute “legs up the wall” practice) throughout your days during the months of March and April.  

Final Thoughts: Embracing a Balanced Spring Awakening

Spring’s renewal invites us to clear what’s stagnant, embrace fresh energy, and move forward with intention. By releasing emotional clutter, honoring your connection to seasonal rhythms, and replenishing your energy mindfully, you can step into spring feeling grounded yet energized (aka balanced!). 

Embrace this season’s awakening not as a race to catch up but as a gentle invitation to bloom – steadily, intentionally, and in alignment with your unique pace. 

What does your mind, body, and spirit need most this spring?

Not sure? That’s okay, we got you! If you’re ready to ready navigate seasonal shifts with intention, in a way that feels balanced, consider working with us. We are a group of holistic therapists with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you in moving through times of transition with more control and less overwhelm. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

Welcome Spring with Fresh Intentions

Hello Brave Community!

Can you believe it’s daylight saving time again?! Yeppers, it’s true. This Sunday (3/9) we “spring ahead” by 1 hour and the number of daylight hours we get to experience increases. And just like that, we are exiting out of winter and sliding into spring.

As the seasons shift, so do we. The transition from winter to spring is typically very welcomed by many, but it can bring both uplifting and challenging experiences. Check out the bullet points below for a list of some ways the seasonal shift from winter to spring affects us humans.

Psychological Effects

• Increased Energy, Mental Clarity & Motivation - As daylight increases, so does serotonin, often leading to improved mood and motivation. The rising temperatures and longer daylight hours can lift brain fog and inspire new projects.

• Shift in Mindset - Moving from the introspective energy of winter to the outward-facing energy of spring can bring a desire for growth, exploration, and social engagement.

• Restlessness, Anxiety & Impatience - After months of slower energy, the sudden shift can bring feelings of urgency and frustration. The transition can be unsettling, particularly for those sensitive to change, as the stillness of winter gives way to movement. 

• Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Relief - More sunlight often boosts serotonin, helping to alleviate symptoms of winter depression.

• Spring Cleaning Impulse - The psychological need to declutter both physical spaces and mental/emotional baggage is heightened. 

Physical Effects

• Changes in Sleep Patterns - More daylight can disrupt sleep schedules; adjusting your evening routine can help.

• Increased Energy Levels - For some people, exposure to more sunlight can help regulate circadian rhythms, improving sleep and overall vitality. 

• Seasonal Allergies & Detoxification - The body naturally shits into detox mode, which can manifest as increased elimination (sweating, digestion, even mild skin breakouts). Spring allergies may also arise due to pollen and environmental changes.

• Fluctuating Appetite & Cravings - As your metabolism adjusts, warmer weather often shifts food preferences from heavy, warming foods to fresh, lighter meals like greens and fruits; listen to what your body needs.

Emotional Effects

• Mood Swings/Emotional Ups & Downs - Spring can evoke a mix of renewal and overwhelm, especially if there’s pressure to “wake up” and be productive.

• Hope & Excitement - The promise of new beginnings can bring feelings of optimism and inspiration.

• Heightened Sensitivity - Just as nature awakens, emotions can feel raw and intensified, especially old wounds or unresolved grief from winter's introspection.

• Increased Social Desire - Many experience a pull toward community, relationships, and outdoor activities.

Spiritual Effects

• Awakening & Rebirth - Many cultures and spiritual traditions see spring as a time of renewal, symbolizing growth, and fresh starts.

• Deeper Connection to Nature - The return of greenery, flowers, and wildlife can rekindle awe, gratitude, and mindfulness. 

• Inspiration & Creativity - Spring's beauty often sparks artistic expression, new ideas, and a desire to create. 

• Purging & Letting Go - Just as nature sheds the old to make way for the new, there's a natural urge to release outdated beliefs, habits, or emotional weight. 

• Increased Desire for Movement - This time of year people often feel more drawn toward getting outside, moving their bodies, yoga, walking, gardening, etc. 

What shifts have you already been noticing within yourself?

What ones have yet to arrive? 

Which shifts do you desire for yourself? 

If you are someone who...

• doesn't like setting New Year's resolutions

• goals just don't make sense to set in January during the middle of winter

• is noticing increased energy and motivation now that spring is here

...check out the next session for a short but powerful intention setting journal ritual!

A Simple Spring Intention-Setting Practice

While January is often seen as the time for resolutions, spring – nature’s season of renewal – may actually be a more natural and sustainable time to set new intentions for the year ahead. With longer days, increased sunlight, improved energy, and a sense of possibility, this is a great time to reflect on what you truly want to cultivate in your life and 

Rather than forcing strict goals, try this gentler approach. Start by journaling:

• Reflect - What feels most alive in you right now? What do you feel drawn to?

• Refine - What’s one small shift that could support growth this season?

• Root - What daily practice or ritual can ground this intention in your life?

Feel free to set 1 intention using these reflect, refine and root journal prompts, or, set several different intentions pertaining to different areas of your life. 

Looking for an embodiment practice to help you feel grounded amidst the mania of spring? We got you!

We are rolling out our new bimonthly newsletters where we will cover a holistic mental health topic in the first one and offer a link to one of our Insight Timer guided meditations (embodiment practices) in the second.

So, stay tuned! Our second newsletter with a spring-themed embodiment practice will be coming to you at the end of March!

Therapist Highlight: Sophia Tornabene

Meet  the marvelous Sophia Tornabene.

Sophia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker originally from Brooklyn, New York who is currently based in Colorado.

Sophia believes that our stories do not define us, but they are a part of us. In many ways she has come to realize that when people feel seen, heard, and valued they are able to fully embrace themselves and show up authentically in all aspects of their lives.

Her therapeutic philosophy is rooted in understanding how your intersecting identities impact the way you think and how you navigate through life and its challenges.

Sophia believes having a warm, supportive, and accepting therapeutic space allows for deeper self-connection, curiosity, and exploration and therefore is essential to healing and growth. Sophia sees you as the expert on your experiences, and it is her role is to meet you where you are and tailor her approach to meet your needs.

Sophia uses a variety of therapy modalities including...

• EMDR

• Parts Work

• Attachment theory
  

Sophia specializes in working with...

• Folks navigating relationships (dating, friendships, familial)

• Young adults & college students

•  People wanting to develop their confidence

• People wanting to overcome people pleasing

• Life Transitions

• Attachment wounds

• Emotional connection and understanding

• Anxiety
  

Sophia as a person↓

• Personality: Heartfelt, wise, down-to-earth & passionate 

• Activities: Pottery, skiing, hiking, and exploring new cities & restaurants

• Travels: Iceland, France, Italy, Nicaragua, & Spain. Visiting Thailand and Tokyo are currently at the top of her bucket list!

• Pets: Two adorable kitties named Zucchini and Zeppole

• Quotes: “We seek connection, predictability, and dependability to root us firmly in place. But we also have a need for change, for the unexpected, for transcendence.” - Esther Perel 

Self-Love Part 3: Embodying Self-Love in Daily Life

Self-love is often spoken about as an abstract concept – something we should aspire to, but unfortunately, it can feel out of reach in the realities of everyday life in our modern world. We might read about it, hear affirmations about it, and even intellectually understand its importance, yet struggle to truly feel it. The challenge isn’t just knowing that self-love matters – it’s embodying it. 

As holistic therapists, we see self-love not as a destination but as a practice, something we intentionally cultivate in big and small ways each day. It’s about shifting from an idea to a lived experience that influences how we care for ourselves, relate to others, and navigate challenges. 

Moving From Concept to Embodied Self-Love

Self-love isn’t just about bubble baths and positive affirmations (although they have their place!). It’s about how we treat ourselves in every moment – how we listen to our needs, how we speak to ourselves internally, and how we honor our well-being. 

To move from concept to embodiment, start by asking:

• If I truly loved myself, how would I show up differently today?

• What would change about the way I make decisions, set boundaries, or rest?

• How can I bring self-love into my body, not just my mind?

Bringing self-love into the body can look like grounding techniques, mindful movement, or even placing a hand on your heart and taking a deep breath when you feel overwhelmed. Small, repeated actions create new patterns of self-relationship. 

Integrating Self-Love Into Relationships, Work & Daily Habits

Self-Love doesn’t exist just because we want it to. We have to actively engage in practices of self-love to begin feeling it and it doesn’t exist in isolation – it extends into every aspect of life. 

Here are practical ways to embody self-love in key areas:

Relationships

• Practice communicating your needs without guilt. Self-love includes believing your feelings and boundaries matter. 

• Notice when you seek external validation and pause. Can you validate yourself first?

• Surround yourself with people who uplift and respect you. Letting go of toxic dynamics is an act of self-love. 

Work & Purpose

• Give yourself permission to take breaks and honor your limits instead of pushing through exhaustion.

• Challenge your inner critic by offering compassionate self-talk and encouragement instead of harsh self-talk

• If possible, align your work with what nourishes you rather than just what’s expected of you

Daily Habits

• Nourish your body with food, movement, and rest that feels good – not just what you “should” do

• Create small moments of joy – listen to music you love, step outside for fresh air, or engage in a creative practice

• Set gentle boundaries with social media or news consumption to protect your energy

If you notice that…

• Guilt continues to come up 

• It’s difficult for you to believe that your feelings and needs matter

• No matter much you validate yourself, you continue to seek external validation

• You’re too afraid let go of one-sided or toxic relationships

• Your inner critic just won’t quit no matter what you try

…these are indicators of having an inner block (unresolved wounding and stress responses) and emotional processing work is needed. 

Handling Setbacks With Self-Compassion

Unfortunately, self-love isn’t always linear. There will be days when doubt, old patterns, or self-criticism creep in. The key is not to use these moments as evidence that you’re failing, but as opportunities to practice self-compassion. 

When setbacks happen:

• Acknowledge your feelings without judgment

• Speak to yourself as you would a dear friend. Would you shame them for struggling, or offer kindness?

• Remember, self-love is a practice, not perfection and not a destination. Each moment is a chance to begin again. Reset as many times as you need to, no one is counting. 

Journal Prompts: Creating Your Personal Self-Love Commitment

Journaling can help anchor self-love in a tangible way. Here are some prompts to explore:

1. What does self-love mean to me, beyond what I’ve been told it “should” be?

2. How do I currently show love to myself? Where do I hold back?

3. What’s one loving thing I can commit to doing for myself daily?

4. What is something I can say to myself (quote, mantra, affirmation) when I face challenges?

5. How can I bring self-love into my body, not just my thoughts?

Self-love is not a finish line – it’s a way of being in relationship with yourself, every single day. The more you practice it in small, meaningful ways, the more it becomes your natural state. 

What’s one self-loving action you can take today? (hint hint, you might have already done it by taking the time to read this blog!)

If you find yourself struggling to integrate these daily self-love practices, we are here for you! We are holistic therapists in Colorado with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you unraveling the patterns that are holding you back from truly embodying self-love. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP! 

Self-Love Part 2: The Somatic Connection – Healing Through the Body

As holistic therapists, we’ve seen firsthand how the body holds onto our unprocessed emotions, unresolved stress, deep-seated patterns of protection or defense, and layers of wounding. Because of our culture, we often get taught to think of healing as something that happens in the mind – through insight, positive thinking, or talking things out. But true healing and transformation must also happen in the body and soul. Our nervous system, muscles, breath and posture all play a role in shaping how we feel about ourselves. This is the somatic connection: the profound way in which healing occurs through the body. 

You can tell you have unresolved pain and wounding being stored in your body when you know you need to relate to yourself with compassion and love, but for some reason you just can’t get yourself to do it…instead your body wins out and you end up continuing the same old patterns of self-criticism, distraction, and shame. 

How Emotions Are Stored in the Body

When we experience emotions, they don’t just disappear if we don’t fully process them. Instead, they get stored in our nervous system, muscles, and fascia. When we suppress anger, grief, or fear, our body adapts by tightening muscles, holding tension, or altering our breathing patterns. Over time, these stored emotions can contribute to chronic pain, fatigue, digestive issues, and a persistent feeling of being disconnected from ourselves. 

One of the most overlooked consequences of unprocessed emotions is their impact on self-worth and self-love. When we carry unresolved pain and stress responses, our nervous system remains on high alert, interpreting the world (and ourselves) through a lens of survival. When we are in survival mode that’s the focus; there isn’t any attention or energy for anything else other than getting through. In this state, self-criticism becomes second nature, we struggle to feel worthy, loveable, or at peace in our own skin and life feels like a continuous struggle. 

 

The Role of Body Awareness in Healing Shame and Self-Criticism 

Shame, like other emotions, is a body-based emotion. It often manifests as a collapsing of the chest and solar plexus, a tightening of the throat, a shrinking inward, and an urge to isolate or hide. Shame is the feeling that “this part of me is not connectable” that “no one wants to know or be with this part of me.” 

When we live in a chronic state of self-criticism, our nervous system reinforces the belief that we are not enough or there’s something wrong with us as we are. Healing this pattern requires more than just changing our thoughts – it requires reconnecting with the body in an energetically compassionate way. 

Developing body awareness is a crucial step in healing shame. When we gently tune into our sensations, we begin to notice where we hold tension and self-protection. Instead of judging our body’s reactions, we can learn to approach them with curiosity and care. By doing this we experientially show our nervous systems and the shameful parts of ourselves that they are deserving of connection, that no emotion, thought, or behavior will cause disconnection or abandonment. This shift allows us to replace self-criticism with self-compassion – an essential foundation for self-love. 

Building New Neural Pathways with Somatic Practices

Somatic practices help us rewire our nervous system and build new patterns of self-connection. Through movement, breathwork, and mindful body awareness, we can build neural networks that support self-compassion instead of self-judgment. 

When we repeatedly engage in practices that signal safety and self-acceptance to the nervous system, our brain forms new pathways. This is neuroplasticity in action – the ability of our brain to change based on our experiences. Over time, the more we embody self-compassion aka live in a kind, accountable, and loving way the more natural it becomes. 

A Somatic Practice for Accessing Self-Compassion: The Self-Love Body Scan

This simple yet powerful body scan helps access self-compassion by guiding you to connect with your body in a gentle, loving way. 

1. Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and begin:

2. Ground Yourself – Feel the support of the surface beneath you. Let your body be held. 

3. Breathe with Intention – Take slow, deep breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. With each breath, imagine softening into yourself. 

4. Scan Your Body with Curiosity – Bring your attention to your feet. Notice any sensations – warmth, tingling, tension. Without judgment, simply observe. Continue scanning up through your legs, torso, arms, and head.

5. Offer Kindness to Each Area – As you move through each part of your body, silently say: “I see you. I honor you. I’m here with you.” If you feel resistance or discomfort, place a gentle hand on that area and breathe into it.

6. End with Gratitude – Place both hands over your heart. Take three slow breaths and whisper (out loud or internally) words of appreciation for who you are (including messy parts!).

Because this practice is experiential (not just about thinking) it helps rewire the nervous system to associate the body with safety, rather than shame or self-judgment. Over time, it nurtures self-compassion and deepens your connection to yourself. 

Healing Through the Body

The mind-body-soul connection reminds us that healing is not just about changing our thoughts – it’s about embodying self-love. If you could think your way through to a more loving relationship with yourself, you would have done it already. When we release stored emotions, bring awareness to our body, and engage in compassionate practices, we transform our relationship with ourselves. We learn that we are not broken – we are carrying unprocessed experiences that are ready to be met with love. True healing happens when we listen to the body, honor its wisdom, and allow ourselves to feel safe, seen, and held within our own being. This is the path to deep, lasting self-love. 

If you’re ready to release the inner blocks that are getting in the way of feeling your self-love,  consider working with us! We are holistic therapists in Colorado with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you unraveling the patterns that are holding you back from truly loving yourself. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP! 

Self-Love Part 1: Understanding Self-Love – More Than Just a Buzzword

Self-love is often marketed as bubble baths, spa days, and positive affirmations. While these can be wonderful acts of self-care, true self-love runs much deeper. It’s not just something we think about or do – it’s something we feel, embody, and integrate into every part of our being. 

As holistic therapists, we see self-love as an ongoing relationship you have with yourself – one that requires patience, awareness, and healing. It’s about how we speak to ourselves in difficult moments, how we honor our needs and limits, and whether we can sit with our pain without judgment. 

But how do we move beyond the idea of self-love and into the felt experience of it? 

The Difference Between Thinking vs. Feeling Self-Love

Many people think they love themselves because they intellectually understand the concept and agree that it’s a “good thing to do”. They might say, “Of course I love myself – I take care of my health, I do things that make me happy.” But self-love isn’t just about what we do; it’s about what we feel energetically and in our bodies. 

True self-love feels like:

• A sense of safety, steadiness and belonging from within yourself

• Gentle warmth in your chest when you acknowledge your worth

• A softening in your body when you meet yourself with compassion

• The ability to experience joy and pleasure without guilt

• A willingness to embrace your imperfections without needing to “fix” them

If these feelings seem distant or fleeting, it may be due to unconscious barriers formed through societal conditioning and past experiences that are blocking your ability to fully receive self-love (we all have these blocks!)

How Conditioning & Past Experiences Block Self Love

From an early age, we absorb messages about our worth or value from family, culture, media, and relationships. Many of us internalize beliefs like:

• “I’m only lovable if I achieve or perform well.”

• “Taking care of myself is selfish.”

• “I have to be perfect to deserve love.”

• “My emotions are too much for other people.”

These subconscious narratives shape how we relate to ourselves. If we’ve experienced ongoing criticism, neglect, or rejection, we may develop an inner voice that mirrors those experiences, making self-love feel unnatural, uncomfortable, or sometimes near impossible.

Healing these barriers requires a holistic approach – one that integrates mind, body, and soul. 

A Holistic Approach to Self-Love: Mind, Body & Soul

To access authentic self-love, we must engage in healing and growth work on all four levels of ourselves:

• Mind - Becoming aware of negative self-talk and shifting it with curiosity rather than force. Instead of “I’m not good enough” try asking, “Where did this belief come from? And, how does having this belief help or protect me?” 

• Body - Noticing how self-love (or lack of it) feels physically. Do you tense up when you receive compliments? Do you numb emotions through distractions? Practices like breathwork, movement, and touch (self-massage, placing a hand on your heart, etc) can help rewire how you experience self-love in your body. 

• Emotion - What are your tendencies when emotion arises? Do you get urges to turn away from it? Does a part of you tell you that emotions are weak and pointless? Do you accept your emotions as part of being human and wait for the crucial messages about your needs to come through? Getting into a practice of meeting emotions with compassion and curiosity can help you gain more access to your core self that exists in a state of calm and compassion i.e. love. 

• Soul- Connecting with something greater than yourself, whether through nature, meditation, creativity, or spiritual practices, can remind you that you are inherently worthy – simply because you exist. You don’t have to do anything or become something else in order to have value, you already do because you are a living, breathing soul.

Reflection Exercise: Identifying Your Barriers to Self-Love

Take a few moments to reflect on the following questions. Journaling your responses can help uncover subconscious blocks and patterns. 

1. What messages did I receive about love and worthiness growing up? What did my family care about most or was valued in my family?

2. How do I speak to myself when I’m struggling or make a mistake?

3. Do I feel comfortable receiving love, praise, or care from others? Why or why not?

4. What emotions arise when I try to practice self-love? Do I feel resistance, guilt or discomfort?

5. If self-love felt natural and easy for me, how would my life be different?

As you explore your responses, notice what emotions or sensations arise in your body. If discomfort comes up, notice where in your body you feel the discomfort and see if you can offer the discomfort kindness and breath rather than pushing it away. Awareness is the first step to change. 

Final Thoughts

Self-love is not a destination but a practice – a way of being with yourself that evolves over time. Some days, it feels effortless; other days, it requires deep inner work. The key is to keep showing up for yourself, with as much gentleness and patience as you would for someone you deeply love. 

Remember, you are already worthy. The healing and growth journey is simply about remembering that truth and removing the inner blocks to believing it. 

If you’re ready to dive deeper into your journey of self-love, consider working with us! We are holistic therapists in Colorado with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you unraveling the patterns that are holding you back from truly loving yourself. You, just as much as anyone else, deserve love and the relationship you have with yourself is the longest relationship you will ever have so it’s worth investing in. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP! 

Find Your Voice: Part 2: Releasing the Freeze and Fawn Responses – Regaining Confidence Through the Body (Copy)

As holistic therapists in Colorado, we often hear the women we work with say, “I just froze. I didn’t do or say anything” and, “”I didn’t agree with them, but I found myself nodding and smiling” followed by feelings of guilt and shame. Whether it’s in a conflict, a moment of fear, or even when faced with an exciting but overwhelming opportunity, freezing and fawning are of the most common stress responses – especially for women. 

Freeze leaves us feeling stuck, unable to act, and disconnected from our power. Fawn, on the other hand, causes us to override our own needs in order to appease others. While these responses were originally designed to keep us safe, they can become habitual patterns that drain our confidence, prevent self-expression and keep us from getting what we need and want. 

The good news? The body holds the key to moving beyond these patterns. In this post, we’ll explore the five stress responses, why freeze and fawn are so common for women, and embodiment techniques to shift from hesitation and people-pleasing into grounded confidence. 

Understanding the Five Stress Responses

The nervous system responds to stress in five primary ways:

1. Fight - The body gears up to confront a threat. You might feel tension, heat, or an urge to vent, argue or defend yourself. 

2. Flight - The body wants to escape. You might feel restless, anxious, or like you need to leave the situation. 

3. Freeze - The body locks up, bracing for impact. You may feel heavy, foggy, numb, or unable to move, speak or get things done.

4. Fawn - The instinct to appease. You might automatically agree, over-apologize, or suppress your needs to maintain harmony. 

5. Flop - A total collapse. You might feel emotionally shut down, disconnected, or physically weak. 

All of these are survival mechanisms, not conscious choices. But when freeze or fawn become our default responses, they can make it difficult to assert boundaries, take action, or trust our instincts. 

Why Freeze and Fawn Are So Common for Women

While anyone can experience any of the stress responses, freeze and fawn tend to be more common in women. The reason for this has some to do with biology, but it’s also deeply social. Patriarchal conditioning shapes how all genders experience safety, power, and expression, influencing everything from workplace culture to relationship dynamics. 

For many women, freezing or fawning isn’t just a reflex – it’s a learned survival strategy. When direct confrontation (fight) or escape (flight) aren’t viable options, the nervous system defaults to the safest remaining choices: staying small (freeze) or appeasing (fawn). 

How Patriarchal Conditioning Reinforces Freeze and Fawn

Patriarchy conditions people into rigid gender roles, where men are expected to be dominant and assertive, while women are often socialized to be accommodating, agreeable, and non-threatening. This messaging starts early and plays out in both personal and professional spaces:

In Work Culture: Power Dynamics and The “Likability Trap”

• Women are often penalized for showing assertiveness or ambition in ways that men are not. 

• Research shows that when women advocate for themselves (higher pay, leadership roles), they’re seen as “difficult” or “aggressive”. This makes fawning – prioritizing relationships, de-escalating tension, and appearing agreeable – the safest response. 

• If a woman speaks up and is ignored or dismissed repeatedly, her nervous system may learn to freeze instead of engaging, believing it’s futile to assert herself. 

In Relationships: Emotional Labor and Boundary Violations

• Many women are raised to prioritize keeping the peace over setting boundaries. Fawning becomes second nature in order to maintain harmony, even at personal cost. 

• In conflict, if a woman has learned that expressing anger leads to backlash, being called “dramatic”, or that her “no” is often ignored, freezing becomes a protective mechanism to endure discomfort or try and keep connection. 

• In situations of coercion or abuse, freezing is a common survival response when fighting or leaving is impossible or creates more risks to safety.

Social Expectations: The Pressure to Be “Good”

• Women are taught that being “nice” is more important than being authentic.

• There’s an expectation to care for others before themselves, making it  harder to recognize their own needs. 

• Being overly accommodating is often rewarded in families, schools, and workplaces, reinforcing fawning as a preferred response. 

How it Hurts Everyone (Not Just Women)

While freeze and fawn are more common in women, patriarchy harms all genders by distorting natural stress responses.

Men are often discouraged from fawning or freezing, pushed instead toward fight/flight as “masculine” reactions. This can suppress emotional intelligence and encourage dominance over collaboration. 

Non-binary and gender-diverse individuals face pressure (and sometimes violence) to conform to either side of these rigid roles, creating even more stress.  

In workplaces, relationships, and communities, the imbalance of power keeps people disconnected from their authentic responses, reinforcing cycles of stress, burnout, and miscommunication. 

Why This Matters for Healing

Understanding that freeze and fawn are conditioned, not just instinctive, allows us to approach healing differently. Instead of blaming ourselves for “not speaking up” or “always people-pleasing” we can recognize that these responses were once intelligent adaptations – and that we can gently unlearn them through body-centered tools that restore a sense of safety and choice.

While these patterns may have helped us in the past, they aren’t serving us in our daily lives now. The key to shifting them is working with the body first, rather than trying to force a mindset change alone.  

By reconnecting with the body and practicing somatic (body-based) techniques that expand our ability to act, express, and set boundaries, we can move beyond the limitations of these conditioned responses. Healing freeze and fawn isn’t about forcing confidence – it’s about creating an internal environment where confidence feels safe. 

Somatic Practices to Release Freeze & Fawn

Both freeze and fawn are states of disempowerment. To shift out of them, we need to reconnect with the body’s felt sense of safety, strength, and presence. 

• Orienting (great first step for freeze)- Look around and actually see if you are in danger, usually the case is “no” so  let your brian and body know there is no life-or-death danger 

• Actually look all around you – look to the right, to the left, behind you, above you, below you, out in front and ask if you are in danger

• Grounding Through the Feet (great for freeze and fawn) - When you feel frozen or overly focused on others, grounding helps you reconnect to yourself. 

• Stand with your feet hip-width apart and press them into the floor

• Imagine roots growing from your feet into the earth. 

• Rock slowly from one foot to the other, feeling the shift in weight. 

• Shake It Off (great for freeze and fawn) - Shaking resets the nervous system and helps release stuck energy (both freeze and fawn responses are driven by over-activated energy). 

• Stand up and shake out your hands, arms, legs, and torso. 

• Imagine shaking off people-pleasing tendencies or moments where you felt stuck. 

• Breathe deeply and let out a sigh or sound as you shake. 

• Power Posing to Reclaim Confidence (great for fawn) - When fawning, the body often becomes smaller – shoulders round, posture shrinks. Power posing expands your presence. 

• Stand tall, feet planted, hands on hips or raised in a “victory” position.

• Breathe deeply, feeling the strength in your stance.

• Hold for two minutes, noticing any shifts in sensation or emotion. 

• Boundary Breathwork (great for fawn) - Fawning disconnects us from our own needs. This breath practice helps reclaim space. 

• Inhale deeply, imagining yourself filling up with energy. 

• Exhale slowly, visualizing an energetic bubble expanding around you. 

• Repeat for 3-5 breaths, reinforcing the feeling of personal space. 

• Tactile Anchoring to Reconnect (great for freeze and fawn) - Touch signals safety to the nervous system. 

• Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly, and breathe deeply. 

• Press your palms together or hug yourself gently. 

• Tap your arms and/or legs rhythmically to bring sensation back. 

Bringing These Practices Into Daily Life

Healing from freeze and fawn isn’t about forcing confidence – it’s about building a sense of safety from within your own body. 

• If you tend to freeze, start with orienting to your surroundings, grounding, then gentle movement. 

• If you tend to fawn, practice power posing and boundary breathwork.

• If you do both, experiment with what feels best in different situations. 

By working with your body, you create new neural pathways of resilience. Over time, you’ll notice that moments of freeze and fawn become shorter, your ability to take action increases, and your confidence feels more natural and embodied. 

The next time you feel yourself freezing or people-pleasing (aka fawning) remember: your body is not betraying you, it’s trying to protect you. By using these techniques you can guide your nervous system back into flow and reclaim your sense of power. Over time, you’ll notice more ease in speaking up, setting boundaries, and trusting your instincts. 

Which of these practices do you want to try? Let us know by reaching out to us as info@bravecounseling.com – we’d be happy to support and guide you in reclaiming your voice and power!

Find Your Voice: Part 3: Embodied Assertiveness – Speaking with Authenticity and Power

Have you ever left a conversation feeling frustrated, unheard, or like you abandoned yourself to keep the peace? Many of us struggle with expressing our needs, setting boundaries, or standing in our truth – especially when emotions run high. The good news? Assertiveness isn’t about being aggressive or dominant; it’s about speaking from an integrated place of self-trust, authenticity, and inner power. 

Embodied assertiveness is the practice of aligning your voice, body, and emotions so that your words carry both clarity and presence. It allows you to speak with honesty while staying connected to yourself and others. In this blog, we’ll explore what healthy, embodied assertiveness looks and feels like, along with practical tools to help you prepare for and navigate difficult conversations – especially in romantic relationships which can often be the hardest to speak up in. 

What Does Healthy, Embodied Assertiveness Feel Like? 

Embodied assertiveness isn’t just about the words you say – it’s about how you feel in your body when you say them. When you communicate assertively, you experience:

• Groundedness - You feel rooted in your body, rather than shaky, disconnected or “in your head”.

• Clarity - Your words come from a deep knowing of your truth, not from reactivity or fear.

• Calm Confidence - You’re not over-explaining or apologizing for your needs. You’re not putting a bubbly spin on things, your voice is your own and your feel settled.

• Open Presence - You stay engaged, breathing fully, and listening as much as you speak. 

In contrast, when we’re passive, we may feel small, tight, or frozen. When we’re aggressive, we may feel tense, rigid, or overpowering. Embodied assertiveness helps us find the middle ground – where we honor ourselves while respecting others. 

Preparing for a Difficult Conversation (Romantically and Emotionally)

Before a big conversation, especially in a romantic relationship, it’s important to prepare both your nervous system and your mindset. Here are some somatic and holistic practices to help you regulate your energy before speaking up:

Ground Yourself in Your Body

• Take a few deep belly breaths to engage your vagus nerve to activate your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest mode). 

• Feel your feet on the ground or place a hand on your heart or grab opposite elbows to anchor yourself. 

• Do a short body scan: Where do you feel tension? Can you soften those areas? 

Regulate Your Emotions

• If you feel anxious, shake out your arms and legs to discharge excess energy. 

• If you feel emotionally flooded, do your best to slow things down for yourself internally by using skills like… 

• “Name it to tame it” 

• Gently separate from the emotion by stating “I am experiencing anger right now” vs. “I’m angry” 

• Place a cool washcloth on your neck to soothe your system, or, hold ice cubes in your hands

• If you feel disconnected, hum or take deep sighs to bring presence back into your body. 

Clarify Your Intention

Ask yourself:

• What do I truly need to express?

• What outcome am I hoping for?

• How do I want to feel during and after this conversation?

Journaling Prompt: What does my body need in order to feel safe and strong while expressing myself?

A Framework for Assertive Communication

When emotions run high, it helps to have a structured way of expressing yourself. The “I feel, I need, I invite” framework ensures that your communication is clear, balanced, non-defensive and non-violent. 

Step 1: Express Your Feelings (without blame)

Instead of: “You never listen to me!”

Try: “I feel unheard when I share something important, and it seems like it’s not acknowledged.”

Step 2: State Your Need Clearly

Instead of: “You need to change how you talk to me!”

Try: “I need to feel that my thoughts and feelings are valued in this relationship.”

Step 3: Offer an Invitation for Connection

Instead of: “You should do better”

Try: “Would you be open to pausing and reflecting back what I’m saying, so I feel heard?”

Role-Playing Scenarios for Practice

While we get that role-playing is not everyone’s favorite, practicing getting your thoughts organized and words out before a conversation can actually make it feel more natural in the moment. Here are a few role-playing scenarios to explore with a friend, therapist, or even by speaking out loud to yourself or trying mirror work. 

Scenario 1: Addressing an Unmet Need

Your partner frequently cancels plans at the last minute. 

(Dysregulated) Passive Response: “It’s fine, I get that you’re busy.” (Even though you’re hurt.)

(Dysregulated) Aggressive Response: “You obviously don’t care about my time at all!”

(Regulated) Assertive Response: “I feel disappointed when our plans get cancelled because I value our time together. I need to feel prioritized in our relationship. Can we find a way to honor our plans more consistently?”

Scenario 2: Setting a Boundary

Your partner raises their voice when they're frustrated. 

(Dysregulated) Passive Response: [thinking] “I’ll just stay quiet so I don’t make it worse.”

(Dysregulated) Aggressive Response: “You’re so rude! You need to stop yelling at me!”

(Regulated) Assertive Response: “When voices are raised, I feel overwhelmed and shut down. I need conversations to stay calm. If we can’t, I’ll need to step away and revisit it later.” 

Journaling Prompts for Deepening Your Assertiveness Practice

1. When was a time I struggled to speak my truth? How did my body feel?

2. What fears come up when I think about being assertive?

3. How would it feel to express my needs unapologetically?

4. What are three things I can do to support myself before a hard conversation?

5. How can I practice embodying confidence and clarity in small ways each day?

Final Thoughts: Owning Your Voice with Compassion

Assertiveness is a practice, not a perfect performance. Each time you express yourself honestly with integrity, you strengthen your connection to your truth and yourself. The more you practice embodied assertiveness – through grounding, emotional regulation, and intentional communication – the more natural it becomes. 

Remember, just like anyone else, you deserve to be heard, to take up space, and you deserve relationships that honor the fully, authentic expression of who you are. 

And…If you’re ready to dive deeper into your assertiveness  journey, we are here for you! We are holistic therapists in Colorado with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you unraveling the patterns that are holding you back from using your voice. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP! 

Find Your Voice: Somatic Tools for Assertiveness and Empowerment

Part 1: Understanding the Barriers to Speaking Up – How Your Body Holds the Story

As holistic therapists in Colorado, we often hear women express frustration about their struggles with assertiveness. And we want you to know you’re not alone. At Brave Embodiment Counseling we provide therapy for women, by women, so many of us therapists also have stories, just like yours, about staying silent in moments when we desperately wanted to speak up. We want you to know that assertiveness struggles aren’t a sign of weakness or failure. They are rooted in deeper stories held by the body and shaped by our experiences, culture, and nervous systems. We also want you to know that it is possible to find your voice and overcome your assertiveness struggles. 

In this blog, we’ll explore some of the most common barriers to speaking up, why these patterns often affect women, and how the mind-body connection can shed light on this challenge. We’ll also end with a simple somatic awareness exercise to help you begin rewriting your body’s story. 

1. Cultural Conditioning: The Social Script to Stay Small

From an early age, many women are subtly (and not-so-subtly) conditioned to prioritize harmony over conflict and others’ needs over their own. Phrases like “be nice”, “don’t be so bossy”, and “don’t be so sensitive” reinforce a belief that assertiveness is unwelcome or unsafe. And that expressing your truth, your emotions and your needs is unwanted. 

Over time, these messages shape how we show up in the world. The nervous system learns to associate speaking up with potential rejection, disapproval, or disconnection which can activate a stress response. Your heart races, your voice shakes, or you freeze entirely. These are not flaws – they’re your body trying to keep you safe within the boundaries of the social script you were taught. 

2. Trauma and the Body’s Protective Mechanisms

For many women, past trauma – whether from a specific event or ongoing oppression and micro-agressions – can deeply impact their ability to advocate for themselves. Trauma, particularly if it involves a history of not being heard or valued, can cause the body to enter survival mode of fight, flight, freeze, fawn or flop when needing to speak up or be assertive. 

For example, if speaking up in the past led to punishment, emotional harm, or physical harm, your nervous system may learn to shut down your voice as a way to avoid danger. Even years later, that response can remain locked in the body, causing you to feel physically unable to say what you need or want (i.e. tightness in the chest, constriction in the throat, clenched jaw, etc.).

3. Fear of Rejection or Conflict

The human nervous system is wired for connection – it’s how we’ve survived as a species. This means that rejection, perceived or real, can feel deeply threatening to our sense for safety and belonging. 

For women especially, the fear of being labeled as “too much” or “too difficult” can loom large. Even when the logical part of your brain knows it’s okay to ask for what you need, your body may respond as if rejection is a life-or-death threat. Sweaty palms, a racing heart, or a lump in the throat are all signs that your body is bracing for potential disconnection. 

4. The Nervous System: A Key Player in Assertiveness

The nervous system plays a central role in your ability to speak up. When you perceive a situation as safe, your parasympathetic nervous system (rest-and-digest mode) allows you to access calm, clear thinking. But if your nervous system detects a threat – whether physical or emotional – it can shift into survival mode, making it much harder to assert yourself. 

For example, you might find your throat tightening (a sign of the freeze response) or feel an overwhelming urge to stay quiet (a fawn response). These reactions aren’t “just in your head”. They are physiological responses your body has learned to keep you safe. Understanding this connection is a powerful step toward reclaiming your voice. 

A Somatic Awareness Exercise to Support Assertiveness

Reconnecting with your body and learning how to work its stress responses is key to overcoming barriers to assertiveness. This simple exercise can help you begin building awareness of how your body reacts in moments requiring you to speak up.

The Ground-and-Sense Exercise

1. Find a Quiet Space: Sit in a comfortable position with your feet flat on the ground. Close your eyes if it feels okay, if not, just hold a soft downward gaze 2-3 feet in front of you. 

2. Notice Your Breath: Take a few slow, deep breaths. Feel your belly rise and fall.

3. Recall a Recent Situation: Let your mind go and allow it bring you a time when you wanted to speak up but struggled. Watch this memory through like a little mental movie in your mind’s eye from beginning to end. Do your best to observe with gentleness and curiosity.

4. Scan Your Body: As you watch this memory, where do you feel tension or discomfort in your body? Perhaps your chest feels tight, your stomach churns, or your throat feels blocked.

5. Stay Curious: Instead of judging the sensation, bring curiosity to it. What might this part of your body be trying to communicate? What message does it have for you?

6. Anchor in Safety: Press your feet into the ground or place a hand on your heart. Remind yourself, “In this moment, I am safe.”

By practicing this exercise regularly, you can begin to recognize your body’s signals and learn to work with them instead of against them. For more information and guidance on how to work with your body’s stress responses stay tuned in this blog series or reach out to us! 

Closing Thoughts

Speaking up is not just a mental decision – it’s a whole-body experience, so try not to be too hard on yourself, you are not choosing to have your body go into protective mode. While you know what you need and want to do in various situations, your nervous system has not yet learned that you’ll be safe if you do so. When we understand the cultural, emotional, and physiological factors at play, we can approach the challenge of assertiveness with compassion and curiosity. Your voice matters, and so does the process of reclaiming it. 

If you’re ready to dive deeper into this journey, consider working with us! We are holistic therapists in Colorado with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you unraveling the patterns that are holding you back from using your voice. You, just as much as anyone else, deserve to speak your truth with confidence! Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

Energy and Boundaries Series: Protect, Restore, and Thrive. Part 3: “Replenishing Your Energy: Restorative Practices for Daily Life”

Part 3: “Replenishing Your Energy: Restorative Practices for Daily Life”

As holistic therapists, we’ve seen firsthand (not only in the clients we work with but also in ourselves) how the demands of modern life can leave us feeling drained, scattered, and disconnected from ourselves. True restoration goes beyond just taking a vacation, getting enough sleep or changing jobs – it’s about cultivating practices that nourish the body, mind, and spirit. In this blog, we will explore restorative approaches and daily practices that can help you replenish your energy on a deeper level. Practices that address the emotional, physical, and spiritual toll that boundary struggles have taken on you. Whether you’re navigating stress, low energy, or emotional overwhelm, these tools will empower you to create a sustainable rhythm of renewal, so you can feel grounded, vibrant, and fully present in your daily life. Let’s discover what it means to truly restore from the inside out.

• Understand Your Energy Drains

When you live without clear boundaries, your nervous system often operates in a state of hypervigilance. This constant state of “giving” depletes your energy reserves, leaving you emotionally, physically and spiritually exhausted. Healing begins with self-awareness, acknowledging where you’ve been overextending and recognizing that it’s okay to prioritize yourself. 

• Practice Grounding Rituals

Unresolved pain, psychological wounds and trauma causes disembodiment which grounding practices can help with. Grounding brings you back to the present moment and helps you feel anchored in your own energy. 

• Morning Grounding Exercise: Try starting your day with a physical grounding practice of your choice. This could be something simple like starting your day by getting into and feeling your body via some stretching, or it might be listening to guided meditation focused on physical grounding, or perhaps it’s attending a yoga class before heading into the rest of your day.

• Breathwork:Try box breathing (inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 4, exhaling for 4, holding for 4 - repeat for 1-5 minutes) to balance your nervous system and reset your mind. 

• Create an Energetic Boundary Practice

Boundaries aren’t just verbal; they’re energetic, too. Learn to tune into and feel your own energy, and when needed, use visualization and body-based tools to protect your energy.

• In the Moment: Connect your spine to the back the chair your sitting on (literally lean back), imagine a glass wall or window screen in front of you that filters out the yuck and lets in the goodness, hold a pillow in front of you or cross your arms to protect your vulnerable, tender front body 

• Daily Visualization: Imagine a golden bubble of light surrounding you, acting as a shield against draining energies . Set the intention or repeat the mantra: “I choose to give from overflow, not depletion.”

• Guided Meditation: Search for and find a recording of an energy clearing meditation and use this daily or as needed. 

• Cultivate Restorative Movement

Your body holds the tension and stress of unmet needs and overriding boundaries. Gentle, somatic practices can help release this energy. It is also incredibly healing to find a daily embodiment practice where the aim of the movement is to connect to your body, be present with yourself and move in a way that feels good or releasing. 

• Yoga for Boundaries: Focus on heart-opening poses (like child’s pose, puppy pose, fish, camel pose) to release guilt, and grounding poses (like tree, mountain, table top) to build inner stability. 

• Somatic Shaking: Stand with your feet hip-width apart, shake your arms, legs, and torso gently for 2-3 minutes. This practice helps discharge pent up stress. 

• Supportive Connection- Prioritize and spend your time in relationships that are affirming, safe and supportive. You’ll be able to notice these relationships because you will feel understood, safe to share openly, uplifted and possibly even energized afterwards. 

• Compassionate Boundary Setting - These affirming relationships are often the best place to start practicing compassionate boundary setting. Remember, boundaries don’t have to be harsh. For example, you can say, “I’d love to help, but I’m at capacity right now,” or “I need some time to recharge.”

• Declutter Your Life - Clear out physical clutter and say goodbye to obligations or relationships that no longer serve you.

• Prioritize Emotional Processing

When you’ve been people-pleasing for years and not setting boundaries, repressed emotions – anger, sadness, resentment – build up. These emotions are the messengers of your needs that got dismissed, overridden and ignored. It’s important to recognize that the exhaustion you’re experiencing doesn’t only stem from over-extending and over-giving, it also stems from years of emotional and psychological needs going unmet. Finally, being present to receive the needs these messengers (emotions) were trying to bring you and then releasing these emotions by meeting your emotional and psychological needs is crucial for healing. 

• Therapy or Coaching: Work with a therapist or coach to reconnect and re-embody so you are there to receive your emotions. Heal unresolved wounds and shift protective patterns that keep you stuck in a cycle of depletion.

• Journaling: This doesn’t have to be polished or professional, bullet points are completely okay – make it as easy as possible for yourself! Getting into a weekly or daily practice of tuning into yourself and writing down what you are thinking and feeling is a powerful way to build connection with yourself, understand yourself better and therefore give yourself opportunities to receive and meet your needs.

• Nourish Your Body

Boundary struggles often leave us disconnected from self-care. Replenish your energy by…

• Nutrition & Hydration: No, not with weight loss as the focus but with true nourishment as the focus – think vitamins, minerals, nutrients, drink roughly half your body weight in ounces of water, electrolytes, etc.

• Nature Connection: Spending time in and connection with nature is another great way to nourish your mind, body and spirit because humans are part of nature and spending time in it can help reconnect you to your own rhythms. 

• Body Work: This depletion is not just taking place emotionally and mentally. Your body is the vessel through which you experience life, so tending to your body is key in healing from the toll boundary struggles have taken on you. Take regular warm showers or baths, prioritize spending your money on massages, craniosacral therapy, reiki, acupuncture and/or aromatherapy.

• Rest

Rest is essential after living in overdrive for decades. Remember, rest is not just about sleep; it’s about international stillness and restoration so the nervous system can relax back to a balanced, homeostatic state for extended periods of time. 

• Daily Mini-Retreat: Dedicate 10-15 minutes to quiet time/alone time, free from screens or interruptions. This could be meditation, sitting with a cup of tea, or simply staring out a window. 

• Evening Ritual: Create a calming bedtime routine that you practice every evening around the same time. This routine will signal to your brain and body that it’s time to wind down, let go and sleep. 

• Seek Support

Healing from boundary struggles often requires a supportive community or therapist who can guide you in reprogramming these patterns.

• Therapeutic Support:  While traditional talk therapy has its purpose, many people often need more experiential forms of therapy to help them process the deeper wounds that contributed to boundary challenges which then led to deep depletion or burnout. Modalities like EMDR, somatic psychotherapy, IFS and art therapy are supportive methods to healing the nervous system and releasing old, deeply ingrained patterns of behavior. 

• Community: Because we are social beings, healing also needs to happen within a collective atmosphere. While individual healing is great, you’ll notice that your inner system also needs to experience safety and support in a group. Join groups or workshops focused on healthy communication, connection and healing. 

• Celebrate Your Wins

Each step toward setting and maintaining boundaries is an act of self-love. Celebrate small wins, like saying “no” to something you didn’t want to do or carving out 30 minutes for yourself. Even though this might seem silly or childish to a part of you, celebrating the wins along the way can add to your motivation to keep going and help you get in touch with the progress you’re making which feels energizing. 

• Reflect and Reassess

Healing isn’t linear. There will be some steps forward, then some to the side, perhaps a couple backwards, followed by many steps forward, followed by a much needed break. As you begin to replenish your energy, take time to reflect on how you feel and adjust your practices as needed. What was once needed at one point in your healing and growth journey, may no longer be needed at this point in your healing and growth journey. Remember, boundaries are living, breathing things – they evolve as you do. 

A Final Word

Replenishing your energy after decades of boundary struggles is a journey of self-discovery, reclamation and self-love. It’s a commitment to showing up for yourself, recognizing your limits, and embracing practices that align with your whole being – body, mind, and spirit. The journey to restoration is deeply personal, but it’s also universal in its importance. By weaving these restorative practices into your life, you are not only healing from exhaustion but also rebuilding your energy reserves, establishing stronger, healthier boundaries, which allows you to cultivate a sustainable foundation for vitality, joy, and resilience. 

So, yes, it really is possible to thrive again as an adult. Remember, your energy is your most precious resource – honor it, protect it, and let it guide you toward a life of balance and fulfillment.

Energy and Boundaries Series: Protect, Restore, and Thrive. Part 2: “Setting Boundaries with Compassion and Clarity”

Part 2: “Setting Boundaries with Compassion and Clarity”

As holistic therapists, we’ve seen time and time again how setting boundaries transforms lives.

We’ve also seen time and again just how many of us struggle with boundaries to the point of believing we are “bad at boundaries”. 

If that’s you, that’s okay and you are not alone. There are many factors that contribute to struggling with boundaries. Once you can build some insight into why boundaries are such a struggle for you, it’s easier to have compassion for yourself instead of judging and shaming yourself for being “bad at boundaries”. 

In this blog we will define what boundaries are and common myths about boundaries, why many of us tend to struggle to set and maintain boundaries, why boundaries are essential for wellness and how to set boundaries with compassion and clarity. 

So, What Are Boundaries?

Boundaries are more than just limits – they’re essential tools for protecting our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Boundaries are simply what’s okay with you and what’s not okay with you. Boundaries are something we set with ourselves and with others. They define where we end and others begin – the point at which you can love yourself and others simultaneously – allowing us to show up authentically in our relationships while honoring our own needs. 

Boundaries are what YOU will do, not what you ask others to do. Even though some of our boundaries may start with a request from someone else, we ultimately do not have control over what that other person will choose to do. They may choose to listen to you and respect your request, or, they may not. This is why it is crucial to understand that boundaries are not what you ask others to do, boundaries are what you will do. 

Examples:

• You: “Please stop talking about politics, let’s talk about something else.”

• Other Person: “Ok yeah, no problem” 

Or….

• You: “Please stop talking about politics, let’s talk about something else.”

• Other Person: (mocking tone) “Uh oh…someone’s getting uncomfortable because they know they’re wrong!” (continues talking about politics)

Or…

• You: “If you continue to talk about politics, I am going to go for a walk.”

• Other Person: (rolls their eyes, continues talking about politics)

• You: (gets up and goes for a walk protecting your energy and emotional safety)

Common Myths About Boundaries

A major factor contributing to the boundary-setting struggle is the widespread belief in common myths about boundaries, which create confusion and guilt. By understanding the truths behind these misconceptions, you can approach boundary-setting with more confidence and clarity. Here are five common myths about boundaries and why they’re not true:

• Myth: “Setting boundaries is selfish.”

• Truth: Boundaries are not about being selfish but about self-care and respecting your own limits. They help protect you so you can meet your needs and feel safe, which allows you to show up more fully in your own life and for others.

• Myth: “Boundaries push people away.” 

• Truth: Boundaries often strengthen relationships because they promote clarity, trust, and mutual respect. People who value you will respect your limits, and it’s often helpful for those you’re in relationships to know with clarity what’s okay with you and what isn’t, instead of having to guess.

• Myth: “You only need to set boundaries with toxic people.”

• Truth: Boundaries are essential in all relationships, not just with challenging individuals. They help you maintain balance and ensure your needs are met even in healthy relationships.

• Myth: “Once you set a boundary, it’s permanent.”

• Truth:Boundaries can and should evolve as circumstances, relationships, and personal needs change. Flexibility is a sign of healthy boundary-setting. 

• Myth: “If someone gets upset, your boundary is wrong.”

• Truth: People may resist boundaries at first, especially if they’ve benefitted from you not having them. Others’ reactions don’t determine the validity of your boundaries. 

Why We Struggle to Set Boundaries

Boundary-setting is a vital skill for emotional health and overall wellness, yet many people find it deeply uncomfortable or even impossible. From a holistic perspective, these struggles are often rooted in a combination of personal history, societal influences, and cultural conditioning. Understanding these origins can be a powerful first step in reclaiming your right to set boundaries.

1. Attachment Wounding - Early attachment patterns shape how we relate to others and our own selves throughout life. If you grew up in an environment where your emotional needs were dismissed, or were made to feel responsible for others’ feelings, you may have learned that setting boundaries risks rejection or disconnection. This fear can persist due to these experiences happening early on and shaping your neural pathways, making it challenging to assert your needs as an adult.

2. Past Trauma - Trauma disrupts your sense of safety and can make you hyperaware of others’ needs while neglecting your own. People-pleasing or avoiding conflict may become survival strategies, reinforcing the belief that boundaries lead to danger or abandonment. 

3. Cultural Conditioning - Growing up in a patriarchal culture often teaches people that it’s not okay to express needs and set boundaries. In patriarchal cultures women get taught that their value lies in selflessness and accommodation, men get taught to be the protector and provider which often means overriding their own needs and boundaries,, and folks that don’t identify within the gender binary get taught that they are wrong, bad, gross, shouldn’t exist etc. and are therefore undeserving of having needs and boundaries. Saying “no” or expressing limits may feel like defiance against deeply ingrained norms, leading to guilt, shame or being ostracized. 

4. Family Dynamics - If you grew up in a family where boundaries were either rigid and punitive or entirely absent, you may struggle to identify and enforce healthy limits. Enmeshed family systems, where individual needs are sacrificed for the group, can also erode a sense of autonomy. 

5. Fear of Conflict - Many people associate boundaries with confrontation, and if conflict was unsafe or unresolved in your past, you may avoid it at all costs. This can lead to overextending yourself or allowing others to cross your limits. 

6. Lack of Role Models - Without examples of health boundary-setting, it’s difficult to develop this skill. Many people enter adulthood with no framework for recognizing, communicating, or maintaining their own limits. 

This is not an exhaustive list of root causes, but some common ones, and by exploring your own root causes you can begin to dismantle the internal and external barriers to setting boundaries. Holistic approaches like mindfulness, somatic practices, and inner child work can help you reconnect with your needs and reclaim your sense of agency. Setting boundaries is not about creating walls – it’s about building pathways to deeper, healthier connections with yourself and others. 

Why Boundaries Are Essential for Wellness

1. Preserve Energy - Without boundaries, we risk pouring our energy into people or situations that deplete us, leaving little left for ourselves. Healthy boundaries help us conserve our resources for what truly matters. 

2. Enhance Emotional Health - Boundaries reduce stress, resentment, and burnout by creating clear expectations in relationships. They also foster self-respect and confidence. 

3. Improve Physical Health - Chronic stress from poor boundaries can manifest as physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches, or weakened immunity. By reducing stress, boundaries support overall physical well-being. 

4. Strengthen Relationships - Clear boundaries create healthier dynamics by fostering mutual respect and understanding. They also help us navigate conflict more effectively. 

How to Set Boundaries with Compassion and Clarity

Setting boundaries can feel daunting, considering the number of experiences most of us have had with not being allowed to or shown how to set boundaries, but it doesn’t have to remain daunting. Here’s a step by step guide:

• Identify Your Needs

• Reflect on areas where you feel drained, overwhelmed, or resentful. These feelings often signal the need for a boundary.

• Ask yourself: What do I need to feel safe, respected, or supported in this situation?

• Get Clear on Your Limits

• Decide what’s okay and what’s not. For example, you might limit work emails after a certain hour or decline last-minute requests for help. 

• Be honest with yourself about your capacity and values. 

• **Due to past trauma, attachment injuries and internalized patriarchy many people in our society become disembodied and therefore disconnected from their core self. When this happens it can be quite difficult to know and sense what your actual capacity is, therefore before you can get clear on your limits you may need to do some healing work that involves reconnecting yourself and body.

• Choose Compassionate Language

• Use “I” statements to express your needs without blaming others. 

• Example: Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try, “I feel unheard when I don’t have a chance to share my perspective” 

• Practice phrasing that is firm, yet kind

• Examples: “I need time to think about that before I commit” or, “I’d love to help, but I don’t have the capacity right now.” 

• Communicate Clearly and Calmly

• Pick the right time to have the conversation – ideally, when both parties are calm and open. 

• Be direct but gentle. Avoid over-explaining or apologizing excessively. 

• Hold Your Ground with Love

• Some people may push back or test your boundaries, especially if they’re used to you being overly accommodating. 

• Stay firm while remaining compassionate:

• Example: “I understand this is frustrating, but this boundary is important for my well-being.”

• Reinforce Your Boundaries

• Consistency is key. Follow through with your limits to show others that you mean what you say. Not to mention, people forget. It’s normal to have to communicate your boundaries multiple times to others. 

• However, if someone repeatedly disregards your boundaries after you’ve communicated them multiple times, it may be necessary to reassess the relationship. Reassessing might mean you need to have more distance in this relationship or perhaps the relationship needs to end. 

• Practice Self-Compassion

• Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable, especially at first. Be kind to yourself as you navigate this process.

• It’s okay to start practicing in small, low-risk situations (like sending your drink back at a coffee shop that has a guarantee to get it right) and work your way up to setting boundaries within your familial or more challenging relationships. 

Final Thoughts

When you set boundaries, you’re not just protecting yourself – you’re modeling self-respect and healthy dynamics for others. Over time, this creates a ripple effect that improves not only your well-being but also your relationships and community. 

Setting boundaries is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself and others. It’s a practice rooted in self-awareness, compassion, and courage. As you begin setting boundaries, remember: your well-being, just as much as anyone else’s, is worth protecting.

If you’d like some compassionate, highly-skilled support in uncovering the roots of your boundary-struggles, or guidance on how to set loving boundaries with yourself and others — we got you! Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner or our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch with you ASAP!