How to Handle Holiday Stress
Can you believe it’s November already? Seriously, where the heck did 2024 go!?
Even though it may be hard to fathom, the holidays are just around the corner, and with them comes a sense of tradition. For some of us this tradition feels oppressive and misaligned with our truths. For some of us the traditions started by ancestors feel special and deeply aligned with our values.
Wherever you land in relationship with the holidays, may we all do our best to be mindful that this time of year is not joyous for everyone. Can those of us who are okay, hold space for those who are struggling and send out hope that everyone finds the courage to walk in their truths and find new ways of being that feel truly authentic?
If you are a person who tends to dislike this time of year, we see you. You don’t need to feel guilty for not participating in "celebrating the holidays". You have every right to feel your feelings and you have every right to seek your own joy.
If you are a person who tends to like this time of year, but despite liking the holidays things end up feeling like a landslide and you find yourself feeling stressed, you also have every right to feel your feelings and seek your own joy.
In this month’s newsletter, we’re exploring how we can approach the holidays mindfully. Instead of getting swept up in the pressure and rush, we invite you to focus on grounding yourself and preparing emotionally. By using simple, holistic practices like breathing exercises, grounding techniques, and intention-setting – we can navigate holiday stressors with a greater sense of ease and connection to self.
In the next sections we’ll identify common holiday stressors and look at ways to manage them and most importantly, we’ll talk about honoring your own needs and creating moments of connection and presence to enjoy the season fully.
Common Holiday Stressors
What happens in your body knowing the holidays are right around the corner?
Tension? Clenching? Churning?
Whether you take part in the holidays commonly celebrated in the U.S. or not, things can get stressful this time of year for a variety of reasons. The sensations you’re feeling in your body as you think about the upcoming holiday season are your emotional messengers communicating important information related to your needs, your truth and well-being.
If you know you tend to feel crappy or get stressed this time of year, but aren’t quite sure why…check out our list of common holiday stressors below to help you gain clarity around what’s triggering your stress responses.
Common Holiday Stressors:
Financial Strain:
Holiday expenses can add up quickly with gifts, decorations, food, travel and parties leaving you stretched thin financially which can be stressful.
Family Dynamics:
Family gatherings bring together a variety of personalities and energies. Even if you generally get along with and feel connected to your family, all the different personalities, energies, and competing needs can feel stressful to navigate.
It may also be the case that you’ve been doing your inner work and because of this you have so much more clarity and awareness of how past experiences impacted you, and now, because of the holiday, you are spending time with family who maybe aren’t doing any sort of self-development work.
Doing the inner work is a double edged sword – it's incredible to finally see things for what they are and not be filled with confusion or hesitation AND at the same time it can really hurt when other people aren't getting it, don't see us in the way we'd like, and, continue relating to us in familiar and painful ways. Being with family that isn't doing the work can feel like walking through mud...everything feels like it takes more effort and more time.
Overscheduling and Time Pressure:
Juggling holiday preparations, work, and social obligations can feel overwhelming.
Trying to attend all the seasonal events can be overwhelming and lead to burnout.
Social Pressure and Obligations:
Holiday parties and gatherings can be enjoyable, but they can also feel like an obligation, especially if you…
Are questioning what the holidays really mean to you or if you even align with holiday traditions at all
Don’t celebrate the holidays
Are more introverted, or dealing with social anxiety
Unrealistic Expectations:
Many people feel pressure to create a “perfect” holiday experience, which can lead to stress when things don’t go as planned.
Dietary and Health Habits:
Holiday foods, while delicious, tend to be rich and harder for our systems to digest therefore stressing your system.
Disrupted routines, due to holiday activities and visitors from out of town, can lead to neglect of necessary self-care. When self-care and needs get missed we are more susceptible to stress and dysregulation.
Loneliness:
The holidays can be an isolating time, especially for people who are separated from loved ones, estranged from family or have lost someone and are missing them.
Holidays can also be lonely for people who don’t celebrate (for various valid reasons) because they have to turn down invites to festivities and the people they usually spend time with may be traveling or unavailable due to holiday activities.
Travel Stress:
Holiday travel often means dealing with crowds, delays and weather issues, which can lead to frustration and stress.
Mental Health Struggles:
For those affected by depression, anxiety, SAD (seasonal affective disorder) the pressure to celebrate and be joyous and happy this time of year can exacerbate symptoms.
Gift-Giving Expectations:
Finding the “perfect” gift for each person you care about and navigating wish lists or expectations can be stressful.
Giving material gifts may not be the way you show love or receive love, so the expectation to give and receive this time of year might be totally out of alignment for you therefore stressful.
After reading through the list of common holiday stressors you may have a better understanding of why this time of year tends to feel so crumby and stressful…but what can you do with this awareness? Head to the next session for some recommendations for emotional prep for the holiday season.
Emotional Prep for the Holiday Season: Increasing Clarity
So…if we know all these stressors are on their way, what would it be like to plan to cope ahead?
Instead of continuing to feel trapped in a snow globe of stress, adhering to holiday expectations and traditions that don’t feel good to you…what if you took a more empowered approach?
What would it be like to start choosing what you participate in, what you don't, and how you want to spend your time and energy?
Remember…
It’s okay to prioritize your well-being
It’ okay to spend this time of year in a way that feels good to you
It’s okay to take a more personal holiday
To help you get there, start here. Start by building clarity around how you’d like things to be and feel.
Journal Prompts for Navigating the Holidays Season with Clarity:
1. How do you want your holidays to FEEL?
Close your eyes, let your mind go and allow your body and soul to show you what would feel good.
Write down any images, words, phrases, ideas or concepts that come.
2. Take a moment and reflect on previous holidays you've experienced.
What memories come to mind?
How do you remember feeling over the holidays?
Do these memories and feelings line up with what you wrote about in #1? (If no, proceed to #3)
3. What gets in the way of experiencing what you'd like to experience during the holidays? Write down anything and everything that comes.
Examples: lack of planning and/or communication, mom gets super stressed about the food, high levels of conflict, emotionally immature family members, too many people, costs too much, too much time together, everyone zones out on their phones, etc.
4. Based on the information you gathered in #3, what needs to happen moving forward so things feel aligned with what you wrote about in #1?
Examples: communicate ahead of time what you'd like to see happen and set clear plans, limit the time you spend with family from 6 hours to 3, bring a box or a bag for everyone to put their phones up, communicate that you won't be participating this year, attend someone else's holiday gathering that is more aligned with what you want to experience, etc.
Once you have clarity, then we can talk tools and strategies on how to bring your vision for the holidays to fruition. Stay tuned – our December newsletter will cover specific, holistic tools and strategies to help bring your “feel good” holiday seasons to life!