Energy and Boundaries Series: Protect, Restore, and Thrive. Part 1: “Energy Drainers: Recognizing What’s Draining Your Emotional Reserves”

Part 1: “Energy Drainers: Recognizing What’s Draining Your Emotional Reserves”

Do you feel tired all the time?

Have you been convinced that’s just what adulthood is? 

If so, you are NOT alone. 

The reality is, there are MANY factors that contribute to feeling drained, tired all the time and/or chronic fatigue. 

As holistic therapists, we often see people feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or stuck, unable to pinpoint why they’re running on empty. While physical fatigue can be easy to recognize, emotional and energetic exhaustion often flies under the radar until it takes a toll on our relationships, mental health, and our physical well-being. Often, emotional and energetic exhaustion gets missed until it has to manifest physically in our bodies – symptoms like headaches, digestive issues, TMJ, weakened immune system, adrenal fatigue, autoimmune conditions – in order to get our attention. 

This silent depletion often stems from “energy drainers” – people, situations, habits, unresolved emotional wounding, oppressive societal systems – that unconsciously zap our emotional and energetic reserves. 

So, no. Being an adult doesn’t have to mean feeling drained all the time, even though our culture has convinced us that this is normal. Here’s the truth: instead of feeling tired all the time, you could be thriving! 

Learning to recognize these drainers and setting loving but firm boundaries is essential for preserving your energy and thriving in life vs. just getting by.  

What Are Energy Drainers?

Energy drainers are anything that pull from your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual reserves without replenishing them. They often leave you feeling tired, irritable, or resentful. These can show up in various forms: 

• Relationships

• People who consistently take without giving – chronic complainers, people with negative mindsets, folks who are chronically dissatisfied, or those who don’t respect your boundaries

• One-sided dynamics that leave you feeling unheard or undervalued

• Emotionally immature people who don’t have the self-awareness or skills to regulate and take responsibility for their own emotions and the trajectory of their lives. 

• Folks that are chronically dysregulated, also referred to in our society as “dramatic”– these folks tend to always have some sort of conflict, chaos, or crisis going on and pull you into their issues unnecessarily

• People with little to no emotional availability so they are unable to provide emotional connection or support when you need it 

• Environments

• Cluttered spaces or chaotic settings that create mental noise

• Workplaces or communities that stifle your authenticity or creativity (micromanaging supervisors, unclear expectations, lack of appreciation, etc.)

• Living in and navigating an oppressive, patriarchal society (*cough* all of us are doing this *cough*)

• Noisy, poorly lit, overly crowded spaces with stale or polluted air 

• Overly competitive settings where you feel constantly compared to others or pressured to perform

• Spaces that are disconnected from nature like some urban spaces devoid of greenery, fresh air or natural beauty 

• Behaviors/Habits/Tendencies

• Overcommitting yourself – saying yes when you want to say no, taking on too many projects or responsibilities without truly having the time, space or energy to put towards these

• Mindless scrolling, overconsumption of media, or other distractions that disconnect you from yourself

• Poor sleep hygiene – inconsistent sleep schedules or lack of quality sleep

• Skipping meals or poor diet – not fueling your body with nutrient dense foods and plenty of water

• Lack of boundaries – allowing others to monopolize your time or emotional energy, or not sticking to the boundaries you set and need for yourself

• Internal Patterns

• Emotional and energetic dysregulation causing over or under activation of your autonomic nervous system therefore zapping your energy. This can look like:

• Negative, critical self-talk 

• Perfectionism and overthinking

• People-pleasing

• Avoidance or shutting down

• Anxiety and depression

• Passive aggression

• Venting, blaming self or others

• Getting flooded by your emotions, unable to turn down the volume on them or unable to create healthy separation from them

• Unresolved emotional wounds that keep you stuck in these old patterns – these emotional wounds typically stem from past attachment injuries, stressful and painful experiences, and trauma

The Importance of Boundaries

Metaphorically speaking, boundaries are the energetic fences that protect your inner garden. Without them, even the most grounded person can feel uprooted by the demands of others or their environment. 

Healthy boundaries allow you to: 

• Conserve your energy for what truly matters to you

• Create space for self-care and personal growth

• Cultivate healthy relationships that nourish rather than deplete you

How to Identify Your Energy Drainers:

1. Body - Your body is often the first to alert you when something isn’t right. Pay attention to…

1. Tension or discomfort: Shallow/shaky breathing, tightness in your chest, clenched jaw, tension in the eyebrows and shoulders, fatigue, headache, etc.

2. Sleep Disturbances: Are certain habits or stressors affecting your sleep quality?

3. Fatigue Patterns: Notice when you feel unusually sluggish. Is it after certain foods? Activities? Interactions? 

2. Emotion - Notice how you feel after interactions or activities. Do you feel lighter and more uplifted, or drained and resentful?

1. Mood shifts: Observe if certain interactions, tasks or activities leave you feeling irritable, anxious, or overwhelmed

2. Lack of enthusiasm: Tasks, environments, or people that consistently feel dull or demotivating might be draining your energy.

3. Unease or dread: Pay attention to situations that evoke the urge to avoid it or fill your inner system with unease. 

3. Time and Energy Tracking - Keep a log of how you feel before and after events, tasks, conversations, or time spent with others. Patterns will start to emerge that point to your biggest energy drainers. 

1. Journaling: Keep a daily log of how you feel throughout the day and note patterns of feeling drained.

2. Energy audit: Create a list of activities, people, and commitments and mark them as energy-giving or energy-draining based on your feelings before, during, and after. 

4. Mental and Behavioral - Pay attention to what your head space is like and what behaviors you notice yourself engaging in. 

1. Difficulty focusing: Notice when you find it hard to concentrate or when you feel mentally scattered, especially after spending time with certain people, on certain activities or platforms (ex: social media)

2. Ruminating thoughts: Track situations or triggers that cause you to overthink or replay events in your mind

3. Habits: Are activities like procrastination, scrolling on social media, or skipping meals contributing to giving you energy or draining your energy?

4. Overcommitting: Are you saying “yes” to things out of fear/guilt/obligation, or out of love and genuine interest? 

5. Test by Elimination - After some time spent tuned into your body, emotions, energy and mental experiences, take a break from a specific habit, environment, or relationship for a set period of time. See what happens to your energy during and after this break. 

Closing Thoughts 

As holistic therapists we hold that your energy is your most precious resource. Training it with the same care you’d give your physical health is a transformative act of self-love. By recognizing and addressing energy drainers, you create space for joy, growth, and meaningful connection. 

Remember, where your attention goes your energy flows but you have the power to decide where your attention goes. Choose wisely, and you’ll find yourself with more than enough to thrive. 

If you’ve tried identifying your energy drainers before but got stuck, or, if you’d like some compassionate, objective support and guidance in this process - we got you! Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner or our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch with you ASAP!

Easing into the New Year

Hello Brave Community! 

♡ Lovely to meet you here in 2025 ♡

The holidays are behind us – some people are thinking, “thank goodness!” and are feeling relieved, while others may be feeling the holiday come down that follows joyous, celebratory times. Whatever you’re feeling following the holidays, it’s valid. 

As we settle into January, many of us may feel a mix of exhaustion and hope. While the new calendar year can bring an energy of excitement, it’s important to honor how you are feeling right now – especially in the heart of winter. 

The winter season encourages rest, reflection, and preservation, not necessarily big leaps or new beginnings. We are smack dab in the middle of the season of dormancy and restoration, so if setting goals or intentions feels overwhelming, give yourself permission to wait. 

As the days lengthen and energy naturally shifts in the spring, you may find that to be the perfect time to embrace growth and new directions. Even though as humans we have common, connecting threads, it’s important to remember our individual differences and just because it’s a new calendar year doesn’t automatically mean you’ll feel rested and restored and ready to set goals.

For now, let’s focus on nurturing ourselves following the holidays and stepping into the year with intention and gentleness. 

Section 2: Body & Soul Goals for 2025

Instead of starting the year with an exhaustive list of intellectual goals that you’re not actually connected to, we encourage you to consider tuning into your body and soul. Body and soul goals are about deep alignment, rather than external achievement. 

When we set goals from an intellectual or analytical place we feel disconnected from... 

• Our bodies

• OurSELVES, and 

• Those goals 

...which fills us with dread instead of curiosity and inspiration. 

You’ll be able to tell you are setting intellectual goals because you will find yourself thinking your way through the process instead of feeling your way through.

Intellectual goals often bring up a lot of yuck and resistance because they focus on what we *think* we should be doing or what we *think* we should want based on messaging and pressures from outside sources. It can be hard to get excited about intellectual goals because we usually aren't deeply connected to them on a soul level. 

When we infuse the goal-setting process with a focus on body and soul, we create a more visceral and heartfelt connection to our aspirations for the year ahead. As humans, the more connected we feel to something the more we want to dedicate our time and energy to it. You'll know you're setting body and soul goals because you'll feel drawn to them...you'll feel a literal inner tug toward whatever it is that is speaking to your soul.

Curious to give body and soul goals a try?! Check out the steps below for a completely different and POWERFUL approach to goal setting.

How to Set Body and Soul Goals:

1. Tune In: Take the time you need to center yourself in your body and notice your breath. Let go of any effort or tension that is not needed right now. 

2. Reflect Sensationally: Instead of analyzing, feel into your experiences of the past year. Pay attention to emotions, sensations, imagery, your felt sense and any visceral reactions that come through your inner system.

3. Body & Soul Goals: Using the feedback from step 2, let your mind go and let it bring intentions or areas of focus for 2025. Do your best to focus on how, whatever comes to you, makes you feel physically and emotionally.

4. Prioritize Joy: Identify goals that bring a sense of joy or fulfillment. Notice how focusing on these areas feels in your body - Do you notice sensations of warmth, inspiration, spaciousness...?

5. Empowering Language: As you start writing down and to putting words to what you're sensing and feeling in your body for your 2025 goals, do your best to use empowering language. Instead of saying "I want to stop filling every minute of my calendar" say, "I want to feel grounded and energized."

6. Movement Check: Now that you have some words written down, stand up, move around, and notice how your body responds. Do these goals feel constricting or expansive? Use the physical feedback to guide your goal-setting (you may need to adjust a few things)

7. Embodied Visualization: Picture yourself reaching your goals. Allow yourself to really feel and be with the energy and emotion in your body as you visualize success. 

8. Dance it Out: We know this one may seem strange, but seriously, give it a try! Literally dance to the rhythm of your goals. Let your body express the energy associated with reaching them.

9. Listen to your Intuition: Trust that gentle, nudging voice in the background. If something feels off or disconnected, reassess whether it truly aligns with your authentic self.

10. Express Gratitude: End your goal setting process by expressing gratitude for your body and the experiences it carries and has carried you through.

And…if you find yourself wanting or needing support in getting clear on and connected to your body and soul goals – we got you! Just email us at info@bravecounseling.com and we will be in touch with you ASAP to set up a free consultation! 

Section 3: Reintroducing Our Therapy Practice

You may be someone who has been part of our Brave Community for a while now, or, you may be new. Either way, welcome! We are seriously SO  glad that you’re here!!

We are Brave Embodiment Counseling, a small group practice made up of 15 therapists based out of Denver, CO. Kim Massale, the founder and owner of Brave Embodiment Counseling, opened the practice in 2018 with a dream of supporting the women of Denver in stepping more fully into their power and magic.

6 + years later, the core of our mission is the same: We support and guide the people of Colorado, using creative and powerful methodologies, to move beyond just insight into tangible change and a life with more ease and energy.

We are trained in the most cutting edge + alternative, trauma and attachment informed techniques to support you in accelerating your healing + growth process, so you don’t waste your precious time, money or energy.

We specialize in helping folks with…

• Unresolved trauma

• Attachment wounds

• Dating Support

• Internalized patriarchy

• Societal programming

• Religious trauma

In other words, we empower people to heal and break free from the limiting beliefs that are keeping them stuck and feeling small.

Currently, we offer virtual services that include:

• Individual Therapy (DBT, CBT, ACT, Art Therapy, EMDR, IFS, Inner Child Healing, Parts Work, Somatic Psychotherapy)

• Couples Therapy 

• Spiritual Guidance

• Clinical Supervision

• Private Practice Building

Rates & Insurance:

We currently accept… 

• Denver County (CO Access) Medicaid 

• Out of pocket/private pay

We do not participate or submit claims for other types of insurance aside from Medicaid. We do not accept Medicare. 

Each therapist has a set out-of-pocket, private pay rate which is listed on their individual bio page on our website. 

You may be able to obtain insurance reimbursement for sessions if you have an insurance plan that has out-of-network benefits. See our website for instructions on how to check and see if you have out-of-network benefits with your insurance company. 

Final Thoughts:

Simply put, we love you and we want you to have your dream life because you deserve it, and we understand the powerful ripple effect of people who are in love with their lives.

January is one of the busiest times of the year for therapy because many people set new years resolutions to “go to therapy” and are eager to begin their healing journeys. If you’ve been thinking about starting therapy, now is the time to act! 

We offer FREE 30-45 minute consultations, but our therapist’s schedules are filling up quickly. Reach out today to secure your spot and take the first step toward feeling supported, heard, and empowered in 2025. 

♡ Warm wishes for a gentle, grounded start to the new year ♡

Building Emotional Resilience: Tools for Managing and Embracing All Emotions

As holistic therapists, we believe that emotions are not just fleeting feelings – they’re powerful messengers from our inner worlds. Rather than pushing them down (suppression), looking the other way (avoidance), or trying to control them, we can actually learn to regulate, manage, and embrace our emotions as part of a balanced life. 

Check out our list below to learn how to approach emotions with compassion and curiosity, while also using somatic and holistic tools to support your overall well-being.

1. Befriend Your Emotions - Instead of getting annoyed with your emotions and attempting to get rid of them as quickly as possible, try thinking of your emotions as messengers and valuable guides. Being immersed in U.S. culture has taught us to label our emotions as “good” or “bad”, but in reality ALL emotions serve a purpose. If we can learn to get curious toward our emotions and let them guide us, they will take us to a need and give us an opportunity to meet that need. When emotions arise, try asking yourself:

1. “What is this emotion telling me?”

2. “What unmet need or value might it be highlighting?”

2. Regulate Emotions Through the Body - Our emotions don’t just exist in our minds, they actually live in our bodies! As previously mentioned, emotions are energy in motion, hence the term e-motion. And this energy we speak of is generated by the autonomic nervous system, so one of the best ways to manage and regulate your emotions is to get good at regulating the energy in your nervous system. Somatic (body-based) tools can help you release and regulate intense emotions. Here are a few somatic tools to try:

1. Grounding Techniques - Stand or sit with your feet connected fully to ground below you (try this outside with bare feet for an even stronger connection), breathe deeply, and imagine roots extending from your feet into the ground below you. This can stabilize your nervous system during moments that feel overwhelming, chaotic or confusing. 

2. Shaking or Movement - Mammals in the animal kingdom naturally shake off stress, and since we too are mammals, we can do the same. The next time you’re feeling over-activated (anxiety, anger, etc.) try shaking out your arms, legs and torso (be sure to get the shaking all the way into your core) for 1-2 minutes to discharge tension and reset.

3. Belly Breathing - Our breath is closely linked to the vagus nerve which has a powerful effect in regulating the autonomic nervous system, so the next time you’re experiencing a fight-or-flight response (anxiety, anger) practice belly breathing. Place your hands on your stomach, inhale deeply (in an easy and gentle way) allowing your belling to expand, then exhale slowly. Do this for 2-5 minutes and notice how you feel afterwards.

4. Re-Orient, Re-Connect & Mobilize - If you notice yourself feeling underactivated (depressed, procrastinating, collapsed) your inner system needs more energy so try helping it out by intentionally adding some energy back into your nervous system. First, sit up, put your feet on the ground and take a look around at your surroundings allowing your head and neck to turn as you look around. Then, reach out and touch different textures and squeeze or pat your body to wake your skin and muscles back up. Last, mobilize your system by intentionally adding some energy back in, starting small at first (wiggling fingers and toes, stretching, creating friction and heat by rubbing your palms together quickly) then allow the movements to expand over time (sing, dance, push into the wall, run). 

3. Mindfulness - Mindfulness is a tool that can help us in many areas of our lives, but in particular with emotion management and regulation. Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment as if your life depended on it (commitment is key!). Simply aim your attention at what you are experiencing inside then allow it to be there without judgement, and without rushing it along or clinging to it. Just see if you can allow it to be there and then allow it move

4. Distress Tolerance - What helps you tolerate discomfort? Building distress tolerance is key to being able to stay present with emotions and presence is crucial for emotional management, regulation and processing. 

5. Practice Self-Compassion - When emotions feel messy or overwhelming, remind yourself that you’re human. Self-compassion can help discharge the intensity of the emotion allowing it to soften just enough so you can stay present with it and allow it move through. Speak to yourself as you would a dear friend:

1. “I’m not doing anything wrong by feeling what I’m feeling, it’s just what’s happening. It’s okay to feel this way, it’s allowed.”

2. “I am doing the best I can right now, with the information I have”

3. “This is really hard right now. I am really struggling. May I be kind to myself in these moments.” 

6. Interoception & Proprioception - Interoception is the ability to sense and interpret internal bodily signals such as heartbeat and breath. It helps you identify how emotions manifest physically, like feeling a tight chest when you’re anxious or butterflies in your stomach when excited. Proprioception is the sense of your body’s position and movement in space. It helps you stay grounded and connected to the present moment, providing a physical anchor during emotional intensity. Holistic, somatic therapy and yoga are great ways to further develop your interoceptive and proprioceptive abilities which ultimately fosters a deeper mind-body connection, improving emotional resilience and self-regulation.

7. Embrace the Pause - When emotions surge, it’s tempting to react immediately because they can come with so much energy. Instead, practice pausing. Take 3 deep breaths and remind yourself: “I have the space to respond with intention.” This simple act can shift emotional reactions to mindful responses. 

8. Safe Spaces for Expression - Emotions need an outlet. Whether through art, dance, writing, or processing with trusted friends or a therapist. For good mental health and overall well-being, it is crucial to find ways to express what is going on inside for you. This not only prevents emotions from being suppressed but it also helps you learn to embrace your emotions and understand yourself much more deeply. 

9. Lean on Nature - Nature is one of our greatest healers because humans are part of nature (just like other mammals). Spending time outdoors can regulate emotions by connecting us to a sense of grounding and perspective. 

1. Go for a mindful walk in nature paying attention to the sounds, smells, and textures around you.

2. Sit by a body of water and imagine it washing away emotional heaviness.

3. Use natural elements like essential oils (lavender for calm, citrus for upliftment) to engage your senses and anchor your mood. 

4. Drive or hike up to a beautiful view where you can see for miles. Allow the immensity of this view to put you and your daily stressors into perspective. 

10. Visualization - Visualization is a powerful tool to shift your perspective and regulate emotions. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by anger, try imagining it as a storm passing through you, or, if sadness feels heavy, visualize it as a flowing river returning you to a place of peace. Or, when an emotion with some charge comes through, try this: 

1. Sit comfortable and close your eyes (if that feels okay) to block out visual distractions

2. Locate the sensation of the emotion somewhere in your body. There is no right or wrong, it's just what it feels like to you. Maybe the emotion is manifesting your chest, or jaw, or stomach, or eyebrows…feel into and see for yourself.

3. Then, put a color and shape to the emotion where it’s showing up in your body (maybe it feels like a red triangle between your shoulder blades)

4. Once you’ve gotten a sense of the message this emotion carries, then watch it transform into something softer or lighter, symbolizing the release or integration of the emotion.

What would it be like to try some of these tips and tools the next time you’re feeling a lot of emotional charge? Perhaps you’d like to bookmark this blog so you can easily find it during future moments of emotional angst.

Closing Thoughts

Emotions are like waves – they rise, peak, and eventually ebb. By using these holistic tools, you can learn to ride the waves of your emotions with grace rather than being pushed around or swept away. Remember, your emotions are not the enemy; they are your allies, guiding you toward a deeper understanding of yourself and the life you want to create. 

If you’re ready to dive deeper into managing and embracing your emotions, consider working with us! We are a group of compassionate, holistic therapists who can resource with you effective, somatic tools to manage and regulate your emotions. Together, we can create a personalized toolkit to help you thrive emotionally and energetically so you can begin living the life you’ve always imagined for yourself! 

To get in touch with us, just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

Why We Struggle with Emotions and How to Shift Your Perspective

Have you noticed that actually SO many of us struggle with emotions?

It’s true, it’s not just you! 

We can look around our nation and easily see that we, as a people, are not well. We are more stressed out, strung-out, and burnt-out than ever, and even though we get told that being stressed out is normal, and drug addiction is a disease…those narratives are not true. What is true, is that many of the “ailments” we struggle with as a society stem from our collective inability to be with, regulate and process emotions. 

Believe it or not, emotions are a fundamental part of the human experience, even though so many of us have been taught to view them as obstacles or inconveniences. We have learned to resist, suppress, and even fear them, believing they are too overwhelming, dangerous, or a sign of weakness. But, what if emotions aren’t the enemy? 

What if, instead, emotions are valuable guides, here to teach us, protect us, and connect us with our authentic selves?

In this blog, we will explore why we tend to struggle with emotions, where our resistance toward emotions comes from, and how to reframe emotions as powerful tools for self-understanding and growth.

Why We Struggle with Emotions

Instead of being critical of ourselves for struggling with emotions, let’s be curious about it instead! After all, most of us would agree that we aren’t actively trying to struggle and we’d much prefer to proceed with ease instead, so check out the list below to get a sense of where our collective struggle with emotions stems from:

• Cultural Conditioning: In the United States, cultural norms play a significant role in promoting emotional avoidance, shaping behaviors and attitudes from childhood through adulthood. Unfortunately, emotional avoidance is linked to many mental health struggles due to very normal and naturally occurring human emotions going unprocessed and needs going unmet. Here are some common societal norms that encourage emotional avoidance:

1. Stoicism and Independence - American culture values stoicism and self-reliance, emphasizing the importance of handling problems on your own without showing vulnerability.

2. Productivity and Success - There’s a strong focus on productivity and achieving success in U.S. culture, which leads to the perception that emotions are distractions that need to be managed or hidden to maintain efficiency. 

3. “Good Vibes Only” - There’s an emphasis on positivity and optimism which discourages the open expression of negative emotions and a tendency to downplay or avoid discussing negative feelings.

4. Privacy and Personal Space - There’s value placed on privacy and individualism which leads to the avoidance of deep emotional discussions which can be seen as intrusive or inappropriate.

5. Gender Norms - U.S. gender norms dictate that men should be tough and unemotional, while women are expected to manage emotions discreetly to avoid being labeled as overly emotional or hysterical.

6. “Keep Your Cool” - There’s an expectation to always maintain your composure and avoid public displays of emotion which promotes the idea that emotional expression is best kept private. 

It’s important to note that all these cultural norms are deeply rooted in patriarchy. In patriarchal systems, emotions, especially those perceived as vulnerable (sadness, fear, empathy), get categorized as feminine traits when really they are human traits. These American cultural norms reflect a patriarchal system that has historically devalued emotional expression and positioned it as a weakness, particularly when contrasted with traits like rationality, control, and independence, which the patriarchy has claimed as masculine. It’s also important to note, that even though these norms are patriarchal values, they harm people across the gender spectrum, because ALL humans are, by nature, emotional creatures.

An additional prominent root from which emotional struggles and avoidance stem are past relational experiences and fear of pain and discomfort. 

• Past Relational Experiences: Our relationship with emotions is shaped by how our caregivers related to their own emotions and responded to our feelings as children. Take a moment and think back…How do you remember your caregivers relating to their own emotions? What messages do you remember hearing in reaction to your emotions? Many of us grew up in homes where the adults rarely, if ever, expressed their emotions, and, in moments where emotions did get expressed they often came out in a way that was volatile or explosive teaching little observant kiddos that emotions are scary, dangerous and lead to disconnection. In addition, many of our own emotional expressions got reacted to with messages like, “Stop crying!” or “Suck it up” or “Calm down!” Messages like this teach us that certain emotions are unacceptable or burdensome to others. All of these past relational experiences can lead to a lifelong pattern of suppressing or ignoring emotions to maintain harmony, avoid conflict, and maintain connection.

**Again, it’s important to note that many of the ways our caregivers related to their own emotions and reacted to ours were shaped by cultural norms and conditioning which, as previously mentioned, are rooted in patriarchy. 

• Fear of Pain and Discomfort: Our nervous systems essentially operate by interpreting sensory and emotional experiences as either pleasurable (safe and enjoyable) or non-pleasurable (stressful, uncomfortable, or threatening). This binary perspective is rooted in its evolutionary purpose – to help us survive by steering us toward safety and away from danger. Because we are human we will experience a range of emotions and some emotions can feel physically and mentally uncomfortable. Anger might bring tension, fear might tighten the chest, and sadness can feel like a heavy weight. Because our nervous system categorizes experiences as either pleasurable or non-pleasurable, we instinctively avoid feelings that fall into the non-pleasurable category because our brain associates it with threat. In reality, very few of our emotions arise to communicate a true life-or-death situation. It takes co-regulation and brain/nervous system training to discern between real and perceived threats which we “should” be learning how to do in childhood from our caregivers, but unfortunately many of us were raised by emotionally avoidant adults and therefore missed out on gaining these emotional skills and tools. 

Reclaiming Emotional Expression

To experience better mental health and overall well-being it’s important to begin challenging these American cultural norms and dismantling the patriarchal ideas that devalue emotionality. Here are a few ways to begin challenging and dismantling:

• Normalize Vulnerability: Instead of getting uncomfortable and looking for a distraction, try celebrating emotional expression as a human trait. No, it's no longer a weakness or gendered characteristic like we’ve been taught for decades, emotional expression and vulnerability are simply human! 

• Value Emotional Labor: Because of what we’ve been taught about emotions in U.S. society, emotional labor is severely undervalued when really it’s crucial to health and well-being. We need to begin recognizing and compensating emotional care as critical work, particularly in relationships, workplaces, and communities. Without it we are all much worse off physically, socially, emotionally and spiritually. 

• Foster Emotional Literacy: Since American culture is teaching us the opposite of what we truly need to be well and thrive, we need to start taking back our power by getting accurate information out there when it comes to emotions, health and wellness. Teaching emotional awareness and regulation from a young age is crucial to break cycles of suppression and struggle. 

• Center Collective Care: Far too many people feel alone in life. This feeling alone directly impacts mental and well-being because as a species we are designed to connect and be part of a collective. We need to find ways to shift our focus away from individualism (that doesn’t mean you have to completely let go of personal competency or independence) and focus our efforts on building healthy interdependence, where mutual emotional support is given and valued. 

Closing Thoughts

In a culture like ours in the United States, where emotional expression is often minimized, dismissed, or labeled as weakness, it’s no wonder so many of us struggle to navigate our feelings. Yet reclaiming our ability to feel and express emotions is not just an act of personal healing – it’s a cultural shift toward authenticity and connection. By shifting our perspective to view emotions as allies rather than adversaries, we take back the power to fully experience and process life and in doing so we gain and experience more freedom than ever before! Embracing our emotional selves allows us to break free from the constraints of emotional suppression, fostering deeper relationships, greater self-awareness, and a healthier society where vulnerability is seen as a strength. It’s time to redefine emotional expression as a vital part of being human, not something to fear or avoid.

We got you. Just head to the contact tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

Understanding Emotions: What They Are and Why We Feel Them

One of the biggest barriers to experiencing better mental health and overall well-being is working through and working with emotions. SO many of us (my past self included) struggle to feel and process emotions effectively. 

If you are someone who resonates with “the emotional struggle”, try not to be hard on yourself! It’s important to remember that as a nation, we aren’t great with emotions. We live in an emotionally phobic society so very few of our parents had emotional skillsets and therefore unable to meet our psychological and emotional needs growing up and they were also not able to teach us about emotions or emotion regulation. 

Emotions are, however, an integral part of being human. They color our experiences, shape our decisions (whether we want to admit it or not), and connect us to ourselves and each other. Emotions are not just fleeting sensations that are to be avoided, instead, they are powerful messages from the mind, body, and soul offering insight into our inner worlds and how we relate to the outer world. 

Keep reading if you’d like to grow in your capacity to be with, feel and process emotions and improve your mental health! In this blog post we will explore what emotions are, why we feel them, and how understanding them can lead to greater well-being. 

What Are Emotions?

At their core, emotions are energetic responses to internal or external stimuli. They are energy-in-motion, hence the term “e-motion”. Emotions arise from a dynamic interplay between the brain, body and environment. Biologically, emotions originate in the brain’s limbic system, which processes sensory input and assigns meaning to experiences. These signals then cascade through the nervous system influencing physical sensations, thoughts, and behaviors. 

Holistically, emotions are more than just chemical reactions; they are expressions of our essence and serve as bridges between our mental, physical, and spiritual states. For example, joy may feel expansive and light, while grief might feel heavy and grounding. These sensations inform us about our needs, boundaries, and desires. 

Why Do We Feel Emotions?

Emotions serve many vital purposes:

1. Survival Mechanisms: Emotions like fear, anger, shame, guilt, and disgust evolved to protect us from harm. For example:

1. Fear - Alerts us to danger, triggering fight-flight-freeze responses to escape threats.

2. Anger - Lets us know that whatever is happening is not right. It alerts us to boundary violations so that we can course-correct via direct communication or reasserting what’s okay with us and what’s not. 

3. Shame - A social emotion that evolved to promote behaviors beneficial for group living and survival. The emotion of shame discourages behaviors that might lead to rejection or exclusion from the group, which could have been fatal in ancestral environments where group membership was crucial for survival.

4. Guilt - A social emotion that evolved to promote behaviors beneficial for group living and survival. Guilt lets us know when we’ve done something wrong and motivates us to take accountability, make amends (if needed), and modify future behaviors to align with boundaries, promoting personal growth and adaptability.

5. Disgust - Helps us avoid harmful situations and substances (ex: spoiled food, unwanted sexual advances, pathogens, etc.)

2. Guidance Systems: Emotions act as internal compasses, pointing us toward what feels aligned or misaligned with our values and goals.

1. Decision Making - Emotions guide decisions in uncertain situations. For instance, feelings of anxiety may signal risks, while joy indicates positive experiences.

3. Social Connection: Emotions like love, empathy, and anger helps us navigate relationships, communicate effectively, and maintain meaningful bonds which is HUGE because as humans our brains are literally wired for connection. In other words, connection is something we need to feel healthy and well. 

1. Love and Affection - Foster bonding and caregiving.

2. Guilt and Shame - Reinforce social norms and discourage behaviors that harm group dynamics.

4. Communication: Facial expressions and emotional behaviors convey intentions, facilitating non-verbal communication across individuals and even species.

5. Healing and Growth: Feelings such as sadness or anxiety invite introspection and growth, encouraging us to address unresolved issues and find our way back to balance and our natural state of peace. 

6. Attachment, Needs & Regulation: Infants are born with an attachment system that is wired and ready to go because they cannot yet meet their own needs. Human babies need to connect and bond with their primary caregivers in order to survive. What this looks like in real life is an infant instinctually expressing an emotion like distress via crying to signal their needs (hunger, discomfort, needing to feel safe) to the adults around them so they can get their needs met and develop and grow. 

7. Cognitive & Social Development: Emotions help shape memory, attention, and learning. For example children often remember emotionally charged events more vividly. Emotions also shape social development, like empathy and embarrassment teach us how to navigate relationships and social expectations. 

8. Self-Awareness and Identity: Emotional experiences contribute to self-concept and identity formation because our emotions are directly linked to our needs and the meeting of our needs tells us that we matter and are worthy of having our needs met. 

9. Motivation: Positive emotions (ex: pride, happiness) encourage goal-directed behavior, while negative ones (ex: frustration) highlight areas to get curious about in terms of boundary violations or something that is going awry. 

10. Flow States: From a holistic perspective, emotions are also part of our energetic flow. When we suppress or ignore them, this flow becomes disrupted, potentially manifesting as physical tension patterns, illness, or mental distress. 

The Holistic Approach to Emotions

As holistic therapists, we view emotions as sacred messengers not problems to be solved or eliminated. This perspective emphasizes:

1. Mind-Body Awareness - Emotions are felt physically. Anger may accumulate in the jaw, eyes/eyebrows, arms, and hands, while anxiety manifests in the chest and stomach, or sadness in the throat and heart. Tuning into these sensations helps us process feelings rather than bypass them and when we process emotions they release from our minds and bodies and we feel better. 

2. Somatic Practices - Movement, breathwork, and mindfulness help us release stored emotions in the body, restoring energetic balance.

3. Emotional Literacy - Naming and acknowledging emotions is the first step toward understanding them. Are you feeling frustration, or is it unmet longing? Differentiating helps uncover the deeper meaning and what needs of ours are going unmet. 

4. Integration - Emotions are neither “good” nor “bad”; they simply are. Embracing this non-judgemental stance allows us to fully experience and integrate our emotions into our lives. 

Why Understanding Emotions Matters

When we truly understand our emotions, we empower ourselves to live authentically. Rather than being swept away by feelings or suppressing them, we can engage with them as allies. Emotional awareness actually fosters higher levels of resilience, better decision-making, and deeper relationships with ourselves and others.

Holistic therapy invites us to honor emotions as guides on our journey toward balance and wholeness. By working with our emotions – not against them – we align with our natural rhythms and open the door to profound healing and growth. And couldn’t we all use a bit more healing and growth?

Closing Thoughts

In understanding emotions, we come to see them not as obstacles but as essential guides in our lives. They are the signals that connect our inner experiences to the world around us, offering insight, motivation and connection. By recognizing their purpose and allowing ourselves to feel them fully, we open the door to greater self-awareness, healing, and growth. Emotions are not meant to be feared or suppressed (despite our society teaching us to relate to our emotions in these ways) – they are tools to help us navigate life’s complexities with authenticity and resilience. When we learn to embrace emotions, we unlock the power to live more intentionally, compassionately, and wholeheartedly.

Interested in a free consultation to learn more about your emotions? Head to the “contact tab” in the upper righthand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

End of Year Review and Somatic Tools to Prep for the Holidays

Seasons Greetings Brave Community! 

As we step into December, anticipation, or possibly trepidation, lingers in the chilly winter air. For many of us, this time of year brings a swirl of emotions – joy and connection, alongside stress and grief. 

The holidays often ask A LOT of us financially, mentally, physically, and emotionally, as we navigate family dynamics, busy schedules, and the tender weight of what this year has held. 

This month, we invite you to pause and breathe. Together let’s make space to emotionally prepare for the holidays with intention and self-compassion. In this December issue of our newsletter you’ll find tools to support your emotional well-being during the festive season, as well as, thoughtful prompts to guide your end-of-the-year reflection. 

Let’s do our best to welcome the opportunity to close 2024 with intention, clarity, care, and gratitude for all that 2024 brought us – the joy, the pain, and everything in between. 

Emotional Prep for the Holidays

Is there a part of you that’s excited for the holidays?

Is there a part of you freaking out about the stress of it all? 

If so, you are not alone in experiencing that inner turmoil. And, no, there’s nothing wrong with you, and no, you’re not going crazy. We all have different parts of self with different thoughts, feelings, and opinions on things. 

But, instead of ignoring your inner turmoil, what would it be like to slow down and get curious?  Could it be that these parts of you are popping up during the holiday season because they are trying to signal you about something?

What if, instead of white-knuckling-it through the holidays like years past, you do some emotional prep? 

Here’s a tailored list of 20 somatic and holistic tools to help you navigate the holiday season with more ease and joy, especially when managing stress and complex family dynamics:

Emotion & Nervous System Regulation Tools

1. Grounding: Use tactile objects like a smooth stone, a fidget toy, a piece of jewelry, or textured fabric in your pocket to ground yourself (i.e. stay in the present moment) during stressful moments. 

2. Calming Breathwork: Practice slow exhales – this helps get the parasympathetic branch of your nervous system to come back online during a stress response. Inhale easily and naturally, then slowly let it out, or, hold your thumb 5-10 inches away from your face and as you exhale blow on your thumb like you’re blowing on a candle flame without trying to blow it out. Do this for ~5 minutes. 

3. Body Scans: Spend 5-10 minutes scanning your body for tension. Invite release and relaxation by focusing on softening specific areas (ex: jaw, shoulders)

4. Shake It Out: Fight or flight stress responses produce an excess of energy in the mind and body, so do your best to release this excess energy via movement like shaking, pushing, running, jumping. Literally shake your hands, legs, and whole body (all the way to your core) to release excess energy and pent up tension after difficult moments or conversations. 

5. Movement Breaks: Excuse yourself every hour, or every couple of hours, for a quick walk and/or stretch. Movement helps discharge built-up stress. 

Energy Management

1. Pre-Socializing Recharge: Dedicate time to a solo activity (reading, a walk, a yoga class, journaling) before gatherings to fill up your emotional tank. 

2. Post-Gathering Decompression: Plan a soothing activity like a hot bath, gentle yoga, or watching a comforting show after a gathering to reset. 

3. Set Boundaries: Decide in advance how much time you’ll spend at events or with certain people, and prepare to work through feelings of guilt about leaving early or declining invitations. Also, do your best to speak up and set boundaries in the moment as needed. 

Holistic Mindset Strategies

1. Reframe Expectations: Replace “Everything must go perfectly” with “It’s okay to focus on meaningful moments, no perfection”. Or, replace “I just want to have a good time” with “It’s okay to focus on moments of joy, it’s unrealistic to think everything will be enjoyable”.

2. Gratitude Practice: Our brains already have a negativity bias, so they will easily be able to identify and focus on what’s not going right. To help counteract this negativity bias, try identifying 3 things each day you appreciate about this time of year or the gatherings you’re attending. 

3. Inner Child Check-In: Everyone has an inner child (whether it’s realized or not). Do your best to check-in with your inner child daily because this is the part of us that can get particularly hurt during the holidays due to being around people that have hurt them in the past. 

Specific Family Dynamic Strategies

1. Anchor a Safe Space: Identify a safe space in the home or outside that you can go to when you notice yourself starting to feel overwhelmed or triggered. 

2. Silence as a Tool/Non-Reaction Practice: When someone says or does something hurtful, do your very best to pause instead of react. Use silence as a tool to let the person know that what just happened was noticed and was not okay. 

3. Mantras: Create a repeat affirmations like, “All I can do is my best and my best is different day to day” or “I am learning that I can protect myself and open to connection”

Keep Up with Self-Care

1. Balanced Nutrition & Hydration: While holiday food is delicious, it also tends to be rich and therefore hard on our systems. Do your best to prioritize protein and hydration to stabilize your blood sugar and energy which allows your nervous system to not have to work so hard. 

2. Sleep Hygiene: Quality sleep during the holidays is key for managing stress and fostering patience in navigating complex family interactions. Do your best to maintain a consistent sleep schedule, avoid stimulants like caffeine later in the day, and continue with your wind down routine at night before bed. 

3. Modified Routine: Having a predictable daily structure provides stability and reduces decision fatigue, even amid holiday chaos. Do your best to stick to some semblance of your normal daily routine i.e. if you usually wake up, have breakfast and go to yoga before starting your day, keep doing that! 

4. Mini-Digital Detox: Since there will already be so much going on, do your best to limit social media use as this is a space that can quickly get overstimulating without even realizing it. 

Support Systems

1. Stay Connected to Safe People: Do your best to stay in contact with the safe people you have in your day-to-day life, even if that means you need to get a little creative in the way that you connect with them. Perhaps seeing them in person (as you usually do) isn’t an option because they or you are traveling for the holidays, but could it be possible to do a video call with them, or text throughout the day, or send marco-polo’s? Safe connections act as a buffer against the stress of complicated dynamics and remind you that you are not alone. 

2. Professional Support: Therapists are trained to hold safe, non-judgmental space and can also offer useful strategies for managing stress, setting boundaries, and processing emotions. Seeking, or keeping up with professional support during the holidays ensures you have support and guidance in navigating the heightened challenges this time of year brings. 

As the holidays bring both joy and challenges, integrating somatic and holistic tools into your routine can provide grounding, resilience, and more emotional balance. These practices empower you to stay connected to your body, honor your needs, and navigate stress with greater ease and self-compassion. Remember, this season isn’t about perfection – it’s about finding ways to nurture yourself, maintain healthy boundaries, and create meaningful moments amidst the complexity. By prioritizing your well-being, you can approach the holidays with more clarity, presence, and peace. 

In the next section of this December newsletter we’ve included some information and prompts to support you in your end of year reflections. We also know that this next section may not be needed until the very last few days of December, so feel free to save it in your email to revisit later when there is more emotional and energetic space to devote to your end-of-year review. 

End of Year Review

While December can be a month of festive, holiday gatherings, it is also the final month in the calendar year. Because of this, many of us find ourselves naturally reflecting on the year that has passed and looking toward the new year that is about to begin in January. If you’d like to add some intentionality to your end of year reflections, see below to be guided through a powerful end of year journal ritual.

• Set Your Space - We know it may seem silly or insignificant, but being intentional about how your space feels as you reflect and journal – setting up your space is PART of the ritual! Do your best to set your space in a way that you feel seen, held and at ease. The more comfortable you feel, the more communication you will receive from your inner system.

  • Ideas for setting your space: Find a private space, make a calming or favorite beverage, light a candle, set up pillows & blankets, set your lighting in a way that feels good, open up a window and air the room out to bring in fresh new air and help you find a clear state of mind. What else would help you feel seen & held in this process?

• Grounding Practice - Take a few moments to center and ground yourself in your body. Click here to be guided through a 90 second end of year embodiment practice.

• Journal - Grab a blank page or your journal and at the top write “2024 was…” and then write down one word, or a short concise summary, about the overall feeling that is lingering here at the end of 2024 for you.

Then, complete the following journal prompts:

• What sensations and energy can you notice in your body right now as you reflect on the past year? Write down any and all body sensations.

• Reflect on the word or phrase you wrote at the top of your page. Is this phrase free from bias? Are there any old stories or narratives from the past you need to let go of?

• What was the most challenging part of 2024 for you? What made it challenging?

• What are the biggest or hardest lessons you learned this year?

• What were the best parts of 2024 for you? What made them so good?

• What were the risks you took this year? What made them happen?

• What life lessons were you able to accept and integrate in 2024?

• In what ways have you grown, changed or progressed this past year?

• What can you do today that you didn't think was possible a year ago?

• Who were the three people that had the greatest impact on your life this year?

• What was your most loving service to someone or something?

• What is your unfinished business from this year?

• What else do you need to do or say to be complete with this year?

As always, we are here for you. If you find yourself needing some extra support during the holidays, or you’d like more guidance completing your end-of-year reflections – we got you. Just head to our website at www.bravecounseling.com, click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch with you ASAP!

The Impact of Light and Temperature on Mental Health: Understanding and Managing Seasonal Affective Disorder

As the days grow shorter and the temperatures drop, many of us find ourselves experiencing subtle – or not so subtle – shifts in energy, mood, and sleep. For some, these seasonal changes bring profound challenges, affecting their mental well-being and daily life. From a holistic perspective, understanding the roots of these shifts, particularly Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), can open doors to natural, balanced ways to support ourselves through the colder months. 

Why Shorter Days Can Affect Our Energy and Mood

Our bodies are deeply tuned to natural rhythms – light, temperature, and seasonal cycles all that play critical roles in our mental health. When summer turns to autumn, daylight hours decrease, and when autumn turns to winter, daylight hours decrease even more, meaning less and less exposure to sunlight. This lack of light can impact our internal clock, or circadian rhythm, which regulates sleep-wake cycles, energy levels, and even hormone production. 

1. Energy Levels: Sunlight helps stimulate serotonin, a neurotransmitter essential for mood stability. Less sunlight means less serotonin, often leading to low energy, fatigue, and slower cognitive function. 

2. Mood Shifts: Darkness signals the brain to produce more melatonin, the hormone that helps regulate sleep. Increased melatonin production can leave us feeling lethargic, and without sufficient, it can disrupt the balance between melatonin and serotonin, contributing to mood swings, irritability, and feelings of sadness. 

3. Sleep Changes: With less sunlight during the day and earlier darkness, our circadian rhythms often shift. You may feel tired earlier in the evening or struggle to wake up in the morning. The disruption can leave us feeling out of sync and less rested. 

Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a form of depression that typically occurs in late fall or early winter, when daylight hours are reduced. While the exact cause of SAD is still being researched, it’s thought to involve a combination of decreased sunlight exposure, biological clock disruptions, and changes in serotonin and melatonin levels. Interestingly, some recent research has proposed that humans might carry residual genetic mechanisms from ancestors who hibernated. This theory posits that our seasonal slow-downs could reflect ancient patterns of conserving energy and during times of limited resources and sunlight. 

Symptoms of SAD:

• Persistent sadness, depression or hopelessness

• Low energy and fatigue

• Oversleeping or insomnia

• Changes in appetite, often craving carbohydrates or sugar

• Difficulty concentrating

• Reduced interest in activities that are typically enjoyable

Holistic Approaches to Alleviating SAD

From a holistic therapy perspective, treating SAD means working with the body, mind and soul in ways that honor the natural rhythms while helping you adapt to seasonal shifts.

• Light Therapy - One of the most effective approaches to combat SAD symptoms is light therapy, which involves exposure to a lightbox that mimics natural sunlight. Ideally, individuals use light therapy for 20-30 minutes each morning to help regulate their circadian rhythm and encourage serotonin production. However, consult with a doctor to determine the ideal light intensity and duration for you.

• Nutrition and Supplementation - As holistic therapists, we focus on the mind-body connection and believe it can be useful to be curious about nutrition and nutritional supplements to support mental health. More and more research is coming out each year identifying the crucial role nutrients play in wellness. 

• Vitamin D: Since sunlight exposure is limited in the fall and winter, many people become deficient in vitamin D, which is essential for mood regulation. Adding a vitamin D supplement or incorporating fortified foods like orange juice, yogurt and milk/plant based milks can help.

• Omega -3-Fatty Acids: Found in fish, flaxseeds, and walnuts, omega-3-fatty acids support brain health and mood stability. They can also be found in capsule form if foods rich in omega-3-fatty acids aren’t your favorite. 

• B Vitamins: B vitamins, particularly B6 and B12, play a significant role in neurotransmitter production and energy. Incorporating foods like leafy greens, beans, and whole grains can help, or, consider a B-complex supplement. 

• Mindfulness of Sugars and Refined Carbs: While you may crave sweets, excess sugar can lead to energy crashes and mood swings. Focus on balanced, whole-food meals to maintain stable energy levels and allow yourself to have sugar and treats in moderation.

• Daily Routine and Movement - Establishing a daily routine during fall and winter is vital to creating stability. Regular schedules help regulate sleep patterns and minimize the impact of shorter days. Here are some routine-focused recommendations:

• Get Outside: Whenever possible, spend time outside, even if it’s cloudy. Natural light, even in lower doses, can positively impact mood. 

• Physical Activity: Exercise boosts endorphins, the body’s natural “feel-good” hormones. Aim for at least 20-30 minutes a day of movement you enjoy, like walking, dancing, yoga, or any exercise that invigorates you. 

• Mindful Mornings: Start the day by connecting to yourself - perhaps with gentle stretching, a short meditation, or a gratitude practice to set the intention for the day.

• Holistic Therapies - A range of holistic therapies can support folks through SAD by addressing mind-body balance.

• Acupuncture: This is an ancient practice that can help rebalance energy, or “qi”, in the body and may reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. 

• Therapeutic Massage: Regular massage sessions can reduce stress, promote relaxation, and enhance mood by stimulating serotonin and dopamine production. 

• Holistic Embodied Psychotherapy: Therapy is a great tool that can help with SAD by addressing the mind-body connection, incorporating practices like mindfulness, breathwork, and body-based exercises that boost mood and energy. 

Shifting Our Perspective on SAD

While the experience of SAD can be challenging, viewing fall and winter as the seasons of rest and restoration can help shift our relationship with it. In nature, winter is a time for hibernation and slowing down. Perhaps SAD is a reminder that we, too, are part of nature’s cycles and rhythms. Instead of pathologizing the need to slow down, what if we saw it as an invitation to prioritize rest, connection, and inner work?

As holistic therapists, we encourage embracing this season as a time to nurture yourself deeply. Acknowledging your unique needs, experimenting with different strategies, and connecting with others can create a support network that helps you not only survive but truly live through the darker months. 

Tired of feeling so crumby all winter long?

Ready to shift your relationship to the colder, darker seasons? 

We got you. Just head to the contact tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

Hibernation Within: Honoring Our Innate Need for Rest and Restoration

Do you tend to get frustrated with yourself during the colder months for gaining weight, sleeping more and “being lazy”? 

If you do, you are not alone in your experience and feelings. 

But, what if you’re not actually lazy? What if your brain and body are sending you hibernation signals? 

Even though humans can’t technically hibernate, our brains and nervous systems, during fall and early winter, do send signals related to hibernation – to eat and sleep more and to decrease heart rate, breathing, body temperature and energy consumption. This is why so many of us tend to gain weight, feel cold regularly and experience a lack of energy starting in fall and continuing through the winter. 

Not quite sold? That’s fair, but we encourage you to keep reading! 

Check this out – Research into human “hibernation” and related physiological responses has started and scientists are exploring the intriguing idea that humans may retain some ancient biological mechanisms for energy conservation, potentially linked to seasonal changes. While hibernation is most prominent in animals like bears and bats, who undergo extended periods of torpor to conserve energy, some researchers believe remnants of these processes could exist in humans. This area of study is driven by evolutionary biology, genetics, and neuroscience. 

1. Evolutionary Mechanisms and Energy Conservation: Evolutionary biologists purpose that humans may retain vestigial systems that, in distant ancestors, might have been active during periods of resource scarcity or extreme cold. In many mammals, hibernation, or torpor, lowers the metabolic rate, reducing energy expenditure when food is scarce. The thought is that early humans might have possessed similar mechanisms, which could be minimally activated by signals during seasonal changes. 

2. Temperate and Light Cues: Environmental factors such as reduced sunlight and colder temperatures during the fall and winter play a significant role in altering human physiology. Research shows that shorter daylight exposure affects the pineal gland, which increases melatonin production – our sleep hormone – leading to more feelings of lethargy and tiredness in the colder months. This might be an adaptation to conserve energy, prompting us to stay indoors and sleep more during colder seasons. 

3. Circadian Rhythms and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Humans respond to changing seasons with shifts in their circadian rhythms, and some people experience SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), which has symptoms like fatigue, increased sleep, and carbohydrate cravings. These are similar to the preparatory behaviors in animals that store energy for the winter. The link between seasonal changes and energy levels may reflect underlying genetic mechanisms that respond to seasonal light patterns, affecting mood and behavior. So….it could be the case that we have created a disorder around a very natural human experience that is actually rooted in ancestral remnants of the mammalian capacity for hibernation. ( It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve been pathologized by mainstream psychology!) 

4. Hypometabolism and Torpor: In studying hypometabolism (reduced metabolic activity), scientists have identified certain genes that regulate cellular energy processes in animals. While humans don’t experience true torpor, some researchers hypothesize that specific metabolic pathways might still be latent within us. The exploration of these pathways could inform future therapies that could potentially trigger these states, useful for medical conditions that require reduced metabolic demand (such as in surgeries or space travel…and as holistic therapists we might argue these future therapies that could trigger torpor like states could be useful for folks needing to heal from chronic stress, burnout, adrenal fatigue, PTSD, complex trauma, etc.) 

5. Brain Studies and the “Hibernation Gene”: Research has also identified genes in animals that regulate entry into hibernation, such as the Hibernation Induction Trigger (HIT). Some studies are investigating whether humans possess similar genes that remain inactive. By understanding the brain’s neural circuitry around metabolic control, researchers hope to reveal how, if at all, the human brain could be nudged into lower metabolic states. 

It’s important to note that this research is still in its infancy, but it offers fascinating and validating insights into how our bodies might be wired for energy conservation, especially during the colder seasons, with potential applications in both medicine and understanding human health in different climates. 

To read up on the studies that have been started related to the possible remnants of hibernation in humans, search in Google for the following scientists and use keywords like “hibernation in humans” “torpor” and “metabolic slow down”. 

• Dr. Kelly Drew at the University of Alaska Fairbanks

• Dr. Hannah Carey and Dr. Matthew Regan at the University of Wisconsin

• Dr. Matteo Cerri from the University of Bologna 

• Dr. Vladyslav Vyazovskiy at Oxford 

Practical Ways to Adopt a “Mini-Hibernation” Lifestyle During the Colder Seasons

Creating a “mini-hibernation” lifestyle for conserving energy and staying grounded during the fall and winter months can be wonderfully restorative. Here are some practical holistic tools and practices to support you with this:

Sleep Hygiene for Deep Rest:

• Create a Consistent Schedule - Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time daily (even on the weekends!), aligning with natural light cycles if possible. 

• Optimize Your Environment - Keep your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet. Keeping devices (phones, tablets, TV’s) out of your bedroom and using blackout curtains and white noise machines can help! 

• Limit Stimulants - Avoid caffeine, sugar, or taking any stimulant medications in the late afternoon and evening.

• Wind Down - Establish a calming bedtime routine, such as reading, stretching, or meditation, to signal your body it’s time for rest. 

Nutrition for Sustained Energy:

• Focus on Warming, Nutrient-Dense Foods - Think soups, stews, roasted vegetables, and whole grains. Foods like root vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats (e.g. avocado, olive oil, nuts) are grounding and sustaining. 

• Be Mindful of Sugar and Processed Foods - To keep your blood sugar steady, be mindful of how much and when you are eating refined carbs and sugar, which can spike energy but lead to crashes. 

• Stay Hydrated - Cold weather can reduce thirst cues, but staying hydrated is essential, so incorporate warm teas or infuse your water with warming herbs like ginger. 

Movement for Gentle Stimulation:

• Gentle, Restorative Practices - Prioritize activities like yoga, stretching, tai chi, or slow walks. These are less draining and support circulation without taxing your energy reserves that are lower this time of year.

• Sync with Natural Light - Get outside during the daylight hours, even briefly, to help regulate circadian rhythms and boost mood. 

• Emphasize Core and Lower-Body Strengthening - Simple exercises targeting these areas can build warmth and stability. 

Introspection and Mental Health Care:

• Mindfulness Meditation - Daily mindfulness, even for a few minutes, can foster greater inner calm and awareness.

• Journaling - Track energy levels, emotions, and personal insights. Reflecting on moods and thoughts can uncover patterns and help us adapt and accept changing energy levels. 

• Somatic Exercises - Body scans, progressive muscle relaxation, or gentle tapping techniques (EMDR butterfly taps or EFT tapping) can help release tension and increase body awareness. 

• Holistic Therapy -  Therapy is a great way to regularly check-in and connect with what your mind and body are craving. Therapists can help you adapt your goals to fit with the energy of the season, as well as, support you in processing and letting go of old wounds and beliefs that are no longer serving you. Think of it like emotional pruning! 

Seasonal Adaptations for Comfort and Support:

• Warm and Cozy Environment - Use soft blankets, warm lights, and comforting scents to create a nurturing space.

• Social Connection in Balance - Choose social interactions that are fulfilling without being draining. Online chats or small gatherings might be easier to manage than large events this time of year.

• Set Boundaries for Energy Conservation - Respect your need for quiet time and allow for periods of solitude without guilt. 

As we journey into the colder, quieter months, the concept of “mini-hibernation” invites us to embrace a gentler rhythm, one that may tap into ancient, biological remnants of rest and renewal. By listening to our bodies and aligning with nature’s seasonal shift, we can adopt practices that nourish our energy reserves and support deeper introspection. Through mindful sleep routines, grounding nutrition, restorative movement, and self-reflection, we honor a cycle that encourages slowing down without sacrificing our vitality. As holistic therapists, we encourage you to try these intentional, fall and winter-focused rituals not only to enhance your well-being but also deepen your connection to yourself, others and the world around you. Adopting a mini-hibernation lifestyle is not about retreating – it’s about harmonizing with life’s natural ebb and flow, allowing for growth in stillness. 

If you find yourself struggling to honor inner requests to slow down, or, if you’d like some support in turning into yourself during this season – reach out to us! Just head to the contact tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

The Natural Slowdown: Embracing the Rhythms of Fall

The days continue growing shorter and the air is finally crisp here in Colorado. Our bodies and minds sense that we are smack dab in the middle of a seasonal shift. Autumn invites us all to slow down, to reflect, and to reconnect with a rhythm often drowned out by our patriarchal, capitalistic society and busy modern lives. This season brings with it an ancient call for rest and introspection – a call that cultures throughout history have followed, honoring the cycles of nature and respecting the body’s need for renewal. From a holistic perspective, the arrival of fall is an invitation to align with these natural rhythms, offering us a chance to cultivate peace, presence, and grounding in our daily lives. 

Seasonal Rhythms: Our Innate Connection to Nature’s Cycles

Every season has a unique energy that affects both our external environment and our internal landscape. Just as trees shed their leaves in preparation for winter, we too, have an inherent need to slow down, let go of what no longer serves us, and prepare for a quieter, more introspective phase. In the same way that plants conserve energy to endure colder months, our bodies naturally crave warmth, rest, and nourishment this time of year.

Research shows that our physiology is deeply attuned to natural cycles because we as humans are part of nature. The shift in daylight and temperature this time of year impacts our moods, energy levels, and even how we sleep. The circadian rhythms that guide our sleep-wake cycles are influenced by natural light, so the reduced sunlight in the fall signals to our bodies that it’s time to rest and restore. So, no, you’re not losing it or being lazy, your body and mind feels and is responding to the pull for a slower pace and to nurture ourselves from within. 

Ancient Wisdom: Honoring Seasonal Shifts

In ancient cultures, people aligned their lives with the seasons, understanding that each part of the year held unique wisdom and purpose. Fall was often a time to honor the harvest, reflect on the year’s growth, and prepare for winter’s stillness. Societies around the world created rituals and celebrations around these changes, recognizing the need for communal and personal reflection.

For example, ancient Chinese medicine views fall as the season of the lung and large intestine, organs associated with the process of letting go, both physically and emotionally. This period of release prepared individuals for the challenges of winter and allowed them to start fresh with the new year. Similarly, many indigenous traditions emphasize gratitude for the harvest, fostering a spirit of contentment and grounding as they prepared for winter. 

These customs remind us that slowing down isn’t simply about rest – it’s an intentional time for self-reflection, release, and honoring what we’ve cultivated throughout the year. When we take time to pause, we reconnect with our deepest essence that can often get lost in the hustle of modern life. 

The Benefits of Slowing Down in Fall

The fast pace of today’s world often prevents us from embracing the slower, quieter energy of fall. However, intentionally choosing to slow down – even if just a little – can offer profound mental, emotional and physical benefits. Here are a few ways that embracing fall’s natural rhythms can support your well-being:

1. Reduce Stress and Burnout: Constant productivity can leave us feeling depleted and detached. Slowing down allows us to recharge and approach the darker months with greater resilience and prepares our minds and bodies for the upcoming seasons of work and growth in 2025.

2. Enhanced Mental Clarity: Fall’s energy invites us to take stock of our lives, helping us gain insight into what’s working and what isn’t. This process of compassionate evaluation brings mental clarity and a sense of purpose.

3. Improved Physical Health: When we align with a more restful rhythm, we strengthen our immune systems and give our bodies time to heal and recover – essential for enduring colder months and building a life that is sustainable. 

4. Greater Emotional Balance: Reflecting on the past year can bring closure, allow us to release unprocessed emotions and move forward with lightness and intention. 

Creating Seasonal Rituals for Grounding and Self-Reflection

Fall rituals don’t have to be elaborate; they simply need to reflect a mindful slowing down. Here are a few ways to create meaningful practices that connect with the season’s energy:

1. Daily Gratitude Practice: Fall’s energy invites appreciation for all that you’ve gathered or harvested – physically, mentally and spiritually. Take 10-15 minutes each day to reflect on and journal about what you’re grateful for. Do your best to avoid making your gratitude practice about material items and instead focus it on who you have in your life and how things have happened. 

1. First, meditate for 5 minutes - Let your mind go and let it bring you a person and/or an event/circumstance that you are ultimately glad is part of your life. 

2. Journal - What is it about this person that makes you glad they are in your life? What is it about this event or circumstance that makes you glad it happened? Describe how this person and/or event makes or made you feel.

2. Grounding Walks in Nature: Bundle up and go for slow, mindful walks. Notice the changing colors, the cooler air, and the earthy smells. Nature has a calming effect on the human mind, body and soul, and by immersing ourselves in it, we ground ourselves in the present moment, drawing on seasonal wisdom. 

3. Evening Candle Rituals: As daylight decreases, consider lighting candles in the evening to mark the transition from day to night. This simple act can become a symbolic ritual, a reminder to wind down and embrace the stillness of evening. Don’t forget to blow them out before you go to bed! 

4. Seasonal Journaling: Set aside 30 minutes to 1 hour to journal about the past year. What lessons have you learned? In what ways have you grown or cultivated for yourself? What are you ready to release? Use this practice to let go of any lingering attachments or thoughts that no longer serve you, preparing your heart and mind for winter. 

5. Nourishing Your Body with Warm Foods: Fall is a wonderful time to enjoy warming foods like soups, stews, and root vegetables. These foods not only provide physical warmth but also comfort and grounding, supporting your body as it adjusts to cooler weather. 

Embrace Fall as an Invitation to Reflect and Renew

By embracing the natural slowdown of fall, we honor our connection to the earth and give ourselves permission to take a step back. In doing so, it allows for more access to reconnect deeply with our inner selves and replenish our mental, emotional and physical reserves. Through small, intentional practices, we can create a season rich in meaning, one that allows us to fully appreciate this quieter, introspective time of year. 

Remember, the natural world cycles through phases of growth and rest – and since we too are part of nature, we also go through phases of growth and rest. As you move through the fall, see if you can allow yourself to embrace the rhythm of slowing down. What would it be like to really listen to what your body and mind are asking of you, and find peace in aligning with nature’s pace? Let this season be a time of gentle grounding, self-reflection, and gratitude for all that you are cultivating within yourself and your life.

For a free consultation, head to the “contact tab” in the upper righthand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

How to Handle Holiday Stress

Can you believe it’s November already? Seriously, where the heck did 2024 go!?

Even though it may be hard to fathom, the holidays are just around the corner, and with them comes a sense of tradition. For some of us this tradition feels oppressive and misaligned with our truths. For some of us the traditions started by ancestors feel special and deeply aligned with our values.

Wherever you land in relationship with the holidays, may we all do our best to be mindful that this time of year is not joyous for everyone. Can those of us who are okay, hold space for those who are struggling and send out hope that everyone finds the courage to walk in their truths and find new ways of being that feel truly authentic?

If you are a person who tends to dislike this time of year, we see you. You don’t need to feel guilty for not participating in "celebrating the holidays". You have every right to feel your feelings and you have every right to seek your own joy. 

If you are a person who tends to like this time of year, but despite liking the holidays things end up feeling like a landslide and you find yourself feeling stressed, you also have every right to feel your feelings and seek your own joy. 

In this month’s newsletter, we’re exploring how we can approach the holidays mindfully. Instead of getting swept up in the pressure and rush, we invite you to focus on grounding yourself and preparing emotionally. By using simple, holistic practices like breathing exercises, grounding techniques, and intention-setting – we can navigate holiday stressors with a greater sense of ease and connection to self.

In the next sections we’ll identify common holiday stressors and look at ways to manage them and most importantly, we’ll talk about honoring your own needs and creating moments of connection and presence to enjoy the season fully. 

Common Holiday Stressors

What happens in your body knowing the holidays are right around the corner?

Tension? Clenching? Churning? 

Whether you take part in the holidays commonly celebrated in the U.S. or not, things can get stressful this time of year for a variety of reasons. The sensations you’re feeling in your body as you think about the upcoming holiday season are your emotional messengers communicating important information related to your needs, your truth and well-being. 

If you know you tend to feel crappy or get stressed this time of year, but aren’t quite sure why…check out our list of common holiday stressors below to help you gain clarity around what’s triggering your stress responses.

Common Holiday Stressors:

1. Financial Strain: 

   • Holiday expenses can add up quickly with gifts, decorations, food, travel and parties leaving you stretched thin financially which can be stressful.

2. Family Dynamics: 

   • Family gatherings bring together a variety of personalities and energies. Even if you generally get along with and feel connected to your family, all the different personalities, energies, and competing needs can feel stressful to navigate. 

   • It may also be the case that you’ve been doing your inner work and because of this you have so much more clarity and awareness of how past experiences impacted you, and now, because of the holiday, you are spending time with family who maybe aren’t doing any sort of self-development work.

• Doing the inner work is a double edged sword – it's incredible to finally see things for what they are and not be filled with confusion or hesitation AND at the same time it can really hurt when other people aren't getting it, don't see us in the way we'd like, and, continue relating to us in familiar and painful ways. Being with family that isn't doing the work can feel like walking through mud...everything feels like it takes more effort and more time.

3. Overscheduling and Time Pressure: 

   • Juggling holiday preparations, work, and social obligations can feel overwhelming.

   • Trying to attend all the seasonal events can be overwhelming and lead to burnout.

4. Social Pressure and Obligations: 

   • Holiday parties and gatherings can be enjoyable, but they can also feel like an obligation, especially if you… 

• Are questioning what the holidays really mean to you or if you even align with holiday traditions at all

• Don’t celebrate the holidays

• Are more introverted, or dealing with social anxiety

5. Unrealistic Expectations: 

   • Many people feel pressure to create a “perfect” holiday experience, which can lead to stress when things don’t go as planned.

6. Dietary and Health Habits: 

   • Holiday foods, while delicious, tend to be rich and harder for our systems to digest therefore stressing your system.

   • Disrupted routines, due to holiday activities and visitors from out of town, can lead to neglect of necessary self-care. When self-care and needs get missed we are more susceptible to stress and dysregulation.

7. Loneliness: 

   • The holidays can be an isolating time, especially for people who are separated from loved ones, estranged from family or have lost someone and are missing them. 

   • Holidays can also be lonely for people who don’t celebrate (for various valid reasons) because they have to turn down invites to festivities and the people they usually spend time with may be traveling or unavailable due to holiday activities. 

8. Travel Stress: 

   • Holiday travel often means dealing with crowds, delays and weather issues, which can lead to frustration and stress.

9. Mental Health Struggles: 

   • For those affected by depression, anxiety, SAD (seasonal affective disorder) the pressure to celebrate and be joyous and happy this time of year can exacerbate symptoms.

10. Gift-Giving Expectations: 

    • Finding the “perfect” gift for each person you care about and navigating wish lists or expectations can be stressful.

    • Giving material gifts may not be the way you show love or receive love, so the expectation to give and receive this time of year might be totally out of alignment for you therefore stressful.

After reading through the list of common holiday stressors you may have a better understanding of why this time of year tends to feel so crumby and stressful…but what can you do with this awareness? Head to the next session for some recommendations for emotional prep for the holiday season.

Emotional Prep for the Holiday Season: Increasing Clarity

So…if we know all these stressors are on their way, what would it be like to plan to cope ahead? 

Instead of continuing to feel trapped in a snow globe of stress, adhering to holiday expectations and traditions that don’t feel good to you…what if you took a more empowered approach? 

What would it be like to start choosing what you participate in, what you don't, and how you want to spend your time and energy? 

Remember…

• It’s okay to prioritize your well-being

• It’ okay to spend this time of year in a way that feels good to you

• It’s okay to take a more personal holiday

To help you get there, start here. Start by building clarity around how you’d like things to be and feel.

Journal Prompts for Navigating the Holidays Season with Clarity:

1. How do you want your holidays to FEEL?

• Close your eyes, let your mind go and allow your body and soul to show you what would feel good.

• Write down any images, words, phrases, ideas or concepts that come.

2. Take a moment and reflect on previous holidays you've experienced.

• What memories come to mind?

• How do you remember feeling over the holidays?

• Do these memories and feelings line up with what you wrote about in #1? (If no, proceed to #3)

3. What gets in the way of experiencing what you'd like to experience during the holidays? Write down anything and everything that comes.

• Examples: lack of planning and/or communication, mom gets super stressed about the food, high levels of conflict, emotionally immature family members, too many people, costs too much, too much time together, everyone zones out on their phones, etc.

4. Based on the information you gathered in #3, what needs to happen moving forward so things feel aligned with what you wrote about in #1?

• Examples: communicate ahead of time what you'd like to see happen and set clear plans, limit the time you spend with family from 6 hours to 3, bring a box or a bag for everyone to put their phones up, communicate that you won't be participating this year, attend someone else's holiday gathering that is more aligned with what you want to experience, etc.

Once you have clarity, then we can talk tools and strategies on how to bring your vision for the holidays to fruition. Stay tuned – our December newsletter will cover specific, holistic tools and strategies to help bring your “feel good” holiday seasons to life!

Let Go Like the Trees

As the leaves turn color and fall from the trees, nature shows us the beauty of letting go. Autumn is a season of release, a time when nature sheds what is no longer needed in preparation for rest and renewal. 

Just as nature goes through this process, we too, are invited this time of year to let go of what no longer serves us – whether it’s outdated habits, relationships that have run their course, or mindsets and beliefs that hold us back – this season encourages us to embrace the natural cycle of release and transformation. 

As part of nature, we are deeply connected to these rhythms and by aligning with them, we can create space for growth, clarity and a deeper sense of peace. Let this autumn be a time of mindful letting go and trusting that what we release will make room for what is truly meant to flourish in our lives. So many cycles of death and rebirth are necessary to becoming our tuest, most authentic selves. 

While the concept of letting go makes sense to many of us, it is often easier said than done. If you find yourself struggling to let go of things you know you need to in order to thrive, you are not alone and we are here for you!  

Head to the next section to learn about our different holistic therapy offerings and if you find something resonating with you, or, if you have questions don’t hesitate to reach out to us by emailing info@bravecounseling.com or scheduling a free consultation on our website! 

Brave’s Holistic Therapy Offerings 

Brave Embodiment Counseling is group practice based out of Denver, Colorado. The practice is home to 16 amazing therapists with tons of heart who offer therapy services in a variety of ways to help individuals, couples and families heal and grow. 

Our therapists are experts at blending useful top-down methods↓ with experiential bottom-up processing methods↑ so you can create lasting change in a way that feels safe. Across our team we have training and experience with a variety of methods including: CBT, DBT, mindfulness, motivational interviewing, ACT, attachment theory, feminist therapy, narrative therapy, enneagram, solution focused, trauma informed and focused, spiritual guidance and development, EFT, reiki, shamanic healing, art therapy, EMDR, brainspotting, inner child healing, IFS and somatic therapies. 

While not all of our therapists are trained in each and every one of the methods listed above, if there is one of these that sparks your interest feel free to let us know so we can match you up with a therapist who has training and experience with the particular method you’re interested in. 

In general, here are some of the main therapeutic methods and modalities offered at Brave Embodiment Counseling:

EMDR

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy is a structured, embodied, bottom-up processing method meaning it targets and works at the root of the present day issue vs. targeting the symptoms. EMDR does not require talking in detail about a distressing experience or trauma, instead it involves focusing on distressing memories while simultaneously undergoing bilateral stimulation typically through guided back-and-forth eye movements, taps or sounds. This process helps the brain reprocess traumatic events, reducing their emotional impact and allowing for healthier cognitive and emotional responses. EMDR is widely used for PTSD, anxiety and other stress-related conditions, but it can also be effective for a variety of symptoms, struggles and conditions. 

DBT

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is a top-down therapeutic method meaning it mostly targets the more cognitive (thought-based) parts of the brain as well as symptoms and behaviors. Dialectics are the foundation of DBT which is the concept of balancing opposites, especially the tension between acceptance and change. It emphasizes that two seemingly contradictory ideas can both be true at the same time, like accepting yourself as you are, while also working toward positive change. DBT works by building practical skills in 4 core areas – mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness –  to help people manage difficult emotions and improve their behaviors. With a commitment to learning, using, and integrating these skills, over time the neural pathways between emotionality and rational thinking become more balanced leading to people to feel more steady, stable and settled. 

Inner Child Healing

Inner child healing is a bottom-up, therapeutic process that focuses on addressing and healing emotional wounds, unmet needs and unresolved trauma from childhood. During inner child healing work, people are guided to reconnect with this younger, smaller version of themselves to acknowledge and validate past pain or unmet needs, understand how childhood experiences shape present-day behaviors, emotional reactions and relationships, learn self-compassion and self-care by nurturing this "inner child", release harmful beliefs, emotional blocks, or behaviors that developed as a result of past experiences. The goal of inner child healing work is to heal past wounds that are driving present day symptoms, issues and diagnoses. Ultimately, inner child work fosters greater resilience and well-being in the present.

Somatic Therapy

Somatic therapy is a body-centered, bottom-up therapeutic method meaning both the nervous system and brain are employed to release bound up energy (incomplete stress responses and unresolved pain) that are being held internally. Somatic therapy is based on the principle that the body is the vessel through which we experience life and therefore it holds onto past experiences, emotions and trauma, even when the mind may not consciously remember them. Somatic therapy uses the body as both a source of information, and a target for intervention and through physical awareness, movement and breathwork people are able to become more attuned to their bodily sensations allowing for the processing of unresolved emotions and trauma, leading to improved energy and emotion regulation, and overall well-being.

Spiritual Guidance & Development

The process of deepening one's connection to their inner self, values and the world around them in a meaningful, transcendent way. Spiritual guidance can help you cultivate awareness of your purpose, your beliefs, the greater mysteries in life, your connection to something larger (nature, the universe, a higher power) which aligns you more closely with your authentic self because it's hard to be fully authentic if a part of who you are (your soul) is getting ignored or overlooked. Spiritual development is unique to each person and can involve different methods like meditation, mindfulness, rituals, reflection and introspection, readings, journaling, yoga, etc. Incorporating spiritual development into the healing journey allows us to more deeply release old patterns and traumas, tap into inner resilience and self compassion, experience emotional freedom and cultivate a sense of purpose and well-being. 

While these are some of the main therapeutic offerings at Brave Embodiment Counseling, don’t forget that we also offer couples therapy and clinical supervision! Autumn can be a GREAT time to begin or resume your inner healing and growth work because nature is already leading you to let go of what’s no longer serving you. Maybe the fact that you’re reading this newsletter is your sign to take that next step and reach out to us for a free consultation – we can’t wait to get to know you!

Therapist Highlight: Alexandra Gray

Meet the dynamic and nurturing Alex Gray!

Alex is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Colorado, an experienced yoga instructor and Ayurvedic practitioner. She takes an integrative approach to her therapeutic work blending empirically-based treatment methods with holistic tools and tailors treatment to her client's personalities, preferences, needs and spiritual beliefs.

Alex has been working in the health field for over 10 years and her therapeutic background consists of working with kids, teens, young adults, families, and individuals on a variety of issues including: trauma processing, mood dysregulation, anxiety, building self-esteem, strengthening social skills, LGBTQ issues and gender identity

Alex is trained in EMDR, DBT, CBT and Solution-Focused Therapy as well as other comprehensive approaches including yoga philosophy, breathwork, mindfulness, body meditations and Ayurvedic-lifestyle.

Currently, Alex specializes in...

• Supporting and empowering folks to process deep-rooted trauma

• Approaching treatment through a holistic lens with a mind/body/soul connection

• Identifying constraints that block a person's ability to recognize and reach goals

• Mindfulness, breathwork and guided meditation

Alex as a person↓

• Personality: Peaceful, Calm and Open

• Activities: Movement (all movement is healing with no movement being too small), relearning to cook with her two-year-old daughter and spending time outdoors with her family

• Food & Drink: Alex loves MANY things but is currently loving golden milks, chai, poke bowls, olives, artichokes and cheese

• Travels: Alex is a former military wife with a lot of island experience living and working in Guam

• Quotes: “Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.” ― Marcus Aurelius

• Pets: 3 year old Chihuahua named Mimi

If you find yourself drawn to Alex, send us an email at info@bravecounseling.com and we will get you connected to her for a FREE consultation!

Managing Stress Through Somatic and Holistic Tools: Healing the Nervous System and Unresolved Wounds

Somatic and holistic strategies that are effective at regulating the brain and nervous system, as well as, methods to heal unresolved pain and wounding that are likely at the root of chronic stress within the body. 

In today’s fast-paced world, stress has become a constant companion for many of us. From the pressure of work, to personal challenges, it often feels like we’re on high alert, perpetually stuck in hustle mode. As holistic therapists we see many people who experience chronic stress and dysregulation, often without realizing that much of their current stress is deeply rooted in unresolved past pain. To truly manage and reduce stress, we must focus not only on what’s happening in the present but also on healing the emotional wounds that keep our nervous system on edge. 

Let’s explore some of the somatic and holistic tools we can use to regulate the brain and nervous system and why healing from the past is essential for long-term well-being. 

Understanding the Brain-Body Connection

The first tool in managing stress holistically is to understand the intimate connection between the brain, body and nervous system because stress doesn’t just live in the mind; it’s a full-body experience. To better understand the neurobiology of stress, or, to be walked through what happens in your brain and body under stress head to our previous blog titled, “The Neurobiology of Stress AKA How Stress Works”.

Somatic Tools for Nervous System Regulation

Somatic practices are body-based techniques that help release tension, discharge stress and bring the energy of the nervous system back into a regulated, or, balanced state. Here are a few somatic strategies we recommend for managing stress:

1. Deep Breathing and Breathwork

Even though it may seem too simple to work, breathing is actually one of the most powerful tools we have to regulate the nervous system because of its direct link to the autonomic nervous system. Deep, mindful breathing helps to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, signaling to the body that it’s safe to relax. Simpled techniques like belly breathing or box breathing can quickly shift you from stress to calm. 

Try this: Pay attention to your breath and get a count on it. How long is it taking you to inhale right now? How long is it taking you to exhale right now? Next, begin to lengthen your exhales by 1-2 seconds in a way that is easy and gentle, never straining. Breathe in naturally, then slowly let your breath out creating an exhale that is 1-2 seconds longer than your inhale. Continue breathing in this way for approximately 3-5 minutes. Then, let go of your control over your breath, let your breath breathe itself again and notice how you feel.

2. Grounding Exercises

Grounding techniques help you reconnect to the present moment, pulling you out of the stress spiral and into your body. Simple acts like placing your feet firmly on the ground, focusing on the sensations of your body, or practicing mindful walking allows your attention to move away from feeding the stress response. Remember, energy flows where your attention goes, so when you engage in grounding you are redirecting your energy away from the stress response and a stress can’t survive without an energy source.

Try this: Sit with your feet flat on the ground and really focus your attention on feeling the connection between your feet and the earth. Notice the sensations (solid, heavy, warmth, pressure, etc.) and imagine any excess energy or stress flowing down into the ground. 

3. Mindful Movement

Movement also has a direct link to the autonomic nervous system which makes it an incredibly powerful tool for regulation and managing stress. Finding a mindful movement practice like yoga, tai chi, progressive muscle relaxations or simple body scanning exercises can help your system release stored stress and regulate the nervous system. 

Intentional movement in the moment while experiencing a stress response is also incredibly helpful. Things like pushing into the wall, shaking, running in place, jumping up and down, dancing, holding plank position, burpees, push-ups, etc. Movements like this get you out of your head and into your body and they allow you to move the excess energy that was generated by the stress response out of your body.

Try this: When you notice yourself feeling amped up, or, “stressed out” , find a wall and push as hard as you can into the wall until you cannot push anymore. Once your body gives you that signal of, “I’m so tired I cannot possibly keep doing this one second longer”, then stop and move into a legs up with the wall position. Lay down on your back, scoot your bottom as close to the wall as you can, extend your legs upward toward the ceiling and allow them to rest against the wall. Stay in this position for approximately 5 minutes. 

4. Meditation

Along with somatic tools, a holistic approach incorporates the mind, emotions and spirit to support whole-body healing. Mindfulness practices, like meditation, help us become aware of our thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations without judgment. By learning to observe without reacting, we can prevent stress from overwhelming us. 

Try this: Start with a 5-minute daily mindfulness meditation, focusing your attention inward. Do your best to sit in presence and observe your inner landscape without judgment, just noticing. Gradually increase your meditation time as you build awareness. 

Healing Unresolved Pain: Why It’s Essential for True Stress Relief

Now, it’s crucial to understand that while these tools are effective, they only offer temporary relief if there are unresolved emotional wounds or trauma driving the stress. Even though a lot of us don’t like to admit it, many of the stress responses we experience present day are rooted in past experiences, often dating back to childhood or significant life events. These unresolved wounds can live in the body and brain, creating patterns of dysregulation that cause us to overreact to current stressors.

When we carry emotional wounds – whether they stem from abandonment, neglect, betrayal, or trauma – they often manifest as chronic stress, anxiety, or a constant feeling of being “on edge.” The brain and nervous system become conditioned to respond to perceived threats, even when those threats are no longer present. Without healing these deep-rooted emotional pains, we stay locked in cycles of stress and dysregulation, unable to fully relax or feel safe in our bodies. 

The Importance of Trauma Informed Healing

To achieve long-lasting stress relief, we must work with the brain and body to heal the underlying wounds driving our nervous system’s dysregulation. This is where trauma-informed therapeutic work, such as somatic psychotherapy, EMDR, somatic IFS can help. These modalities work by releasing stored trauma from the body and reprogramming the brain to respond to stress in healthier, more adaptive ways. 

When we address the root causes of our stress, we can begin to live from a place of calm and balance, rather than constant reactivity. Healing the past allows us to shift out of survival mode and step into a more present, empowered way of being. 

Conclusion: A Journey of Healing and Regulation

Managing stress is not just about calming the mind in the moment–it’s about healing the patterns that keep our nervous system dysregulated. By incorporating somatic and holistic tools, and by addressing unresolved emotional wounds, we can create lasting change and experience true relief from chronic stress. As we regulate our nervous systems and heal the pain of the past, we can finally step into a state of calm, balance, and resilience that allows us to navigate life with greater ease and joy.

The Neurobiology of Stress AKA How Stress Works

Have you ever had that experience where you zoom out and look at the situation you’re feeling stressed about and realize that in the grand scheme of things it probably doesn’t matter that much…? And, even though you can see that, you still feel stressed?

You’re not alone in this, and that is what we plan to cover in this blog. In this blog we will be offering information on what is happening in your brain and nervous system that keeps your body in a reactive, stressed-out state even though you logically realize you don’t need to be so stressed. We hope by sharing this information you can use it as a tool the next time you’re stressed to support your brain and nervous system in coming back to a regulated, balanced state more quickly. 

The Stress Response

When faced with a stressor–whether it’s a looming work deadline, an unexpected bill, or a dangerous situation–the limbic system in your brain and your autonomic nervous system instinctually kick in. 

This rapid response is often referred to as “a stress response” which can look like fighting, fleeing, freezing, fawning or flopping. All are built-in survival mechanisms that prepare you to get through and survive the threat (the stressor). 

The Role of the Amygdala: The Brain’s Smoke Detector

This stress response process is incredibly fast, but it starts with the amygdala. The amygdala is an almond sized structure in the human brain responsible for scanning a person’s internal and external environment for potential threats to safety. When the amygdala detects a stressor and perceives it as a threat, it sends an alert to other parts of the brain.

The Hypothalamus: Command Center of the Stress Response

The amygdala signals the hypothalamus, a small but crucial area at the base of the brain that functions as the command center for your autonomic nervous system. The hypothalamus initiates the stress response by communicating with the sympathetic nervous system (one of the branches of the autonomic nervous system), which controls involuntary bodily functions such as heart rate and respiration. 

Activation of the Sympathetic Nervous System: Rapid Physiological Changes

Once the hypothalamus activates the sympathetic nervous system, the body undergoes immediate physiological changes to prepare for action. This process, known as the acute stress response, includes:

• Increased heart rate - blood pumps faster to supply muscles with more oxygen

• Muscle tension - due to the increased blood flow and oxygen in the muscles tension builds so you have the strength or power needed to confront or get away from the stressor

• Faster breathing - more oxygen enters the lungs, providing the body with additional energy

• Release of epinephrine (adrenaline) - the adrenal glands release this hormone which increases alertness, sharpens focus and boosts energy

• Pupil dilation - vision sharpens and narrows to better assess the environment

All these changes happen within seconds of encountering a stressor, priming your body to react swiftly.

The HPA Axis: Longer-Term Stress

If the stressor persists, the brain activates the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis (HPA axis), a more prolonged response system that helps sustain the body’s readiness for action. 

Hypothalamus Signals the Pituitary Gland

The hypothalamus releases corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH), which travels to the pituitary gland. In response, the pituitary gland releases adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH) into the bloodstream. 

ACTH Stimulates the Adrenal Glands

ACTH travels to the adrenal glands, located above the kidneys, prompting them to release cortisol, often referred to as the “stress hormone”. Cortisol has several critical functions during a stressor, including:

• Maintaining Energy Supply - By raising glucose levels in the bloodstream, cortisol ensures that muscles and the brain have enough fuel to handle the stressor.

• This increase of glucose levels in the bloodstream for prolonged periods of time is what contributes to “cortisol belly”, or weight gain, amongst other physical health issues like chronic inflammation/pain, insulin resistance and diabetes.

• Suppressing Non-Essential Functions - Cortisol temporarily dampens systems like digestion, reproduction, and immune response, allowing the body to focus its resources on the immediate threat. 

• This is why we tend to get sick if we’ve been stressed for an extended period of time, and also why long-term stress leads to gut issues. 

Chronic Stress and Its Effects

While this stress response system is designed to protect you in the short-term, problems arise when stress becomes chronic. Chronic stress is when the body remains in a prolonged state of alertness and because it’s stuck in this state damaging effects on mental and physical health occur. 

Impact on the Hippocampus

The hippocampus, a brain region essential for learning and memory, is particularly sensitive to cortisol. Chronic stress and elevated cortisol levels can shrink the hippocampus over time, leading to:

• Memory problems

• Difficulty concentrating

• Increased risk of anxiety, depression, PTSD

Overactivation of the Amygdala

Prolonged exposure to stress can cause the amygdala to become hyperactive, making people more sensitive to perceived threats. This heightened state of alert can contribute to feelings of chronic anxiety, hypervigilance, irritability, anger and rage.

Suppression of the Prefrontal Cortex

The prefrontal cortex is responsible for rational decision-making and regulating emotions. Chronic stress can impair the function of this brain region, making it harder to think clearly, regulate emotions, or make thoughtful decisions.  

The Parasympathetic Nervous System

Once the stressor is removed, the parasympathetic nervous system is activated, often referred to as the “rest and digest” system. This system works to counteract the effects of the stress response by:

• Slowing the heart rate

• Decreasing blood pressure

• Resuming normal digestion and other bodily functions

The parasympathetic nervous system helps the body return to its baseline state, allowing for recovery and balance after the stressor has passed. In a healthy environment the sympathetic and parasympathetic branches of the autonomic nervous system work in tandem. The sympathetic branch activates in response to an acute stressor, the stressor is faced and resolved and the parasympathetic branch comes in and returns the inner system to homeostasis.

However, in situations of episodic, chronic and/or traumatic stress, the sympathetic branch gets stuck in the “on” position until there is no more energy to sustain the activation of the sympathetic branch and then the inner system shuts down into a collapsed state with little to no energy i.e “conservation mode”. Once some energy is restored in the person’s system, then we, as holistic therapists, often see a bouncing back and forth between an over-activated state and an under-activated state until we are able to lend the brain and nervous system some support with regulation and processing of the unresolved emotions and/or trauma. 

Conclusion: Managing Stress for Better Health and Well-Being

The stress response is a powerful tool that we need for survival. But, when it’s activated too often or for too long, it can take a serious toll on the mind, body and soul. By understanding the neurobiology of stress–how the brain and nervous system react to stressors–we can better appreciate the importance of stress management techniques. Practices such as mindfulness, intentional movement, regular exercise, breathwork and regular relaxation can help regulate the body’s stress response, ensuring that it is used when needed but not causing long-term harm to your mind, body and soul. 

If you’re curious to know more about different tools and strategies to regulate your stress responses, stay tuned! Our next blog will cover various somatic and holistic strategies that are effective at regulating the brain and nervous system, as well as, methods to heal unresolved pain and wounding that are likely at the root of chronic stress within the body.

Understanding Stress Holistically: Mind, Body, and Soul Perspective

As holistic therapists we view stress as more than just a mental or emotional burden–it’s a full-body experience that affects your mind, body and soul.

Stress is also a natural response to life’s challenges, but when it becomes chronic, it can have profound impacts on our health and well-being. To truly address stress, we need to look at it holistically, understanding how it influences every aspect of our being. 

In this blog we will explore what stress is, the signs and symptoms it presents across mind, body and soul and why it’s important to take a holistic approach to managing it. 

What is Stress?

Stress is our psychological and physiological reaction to an event or condition that is considered a challenge, demand or threat (aka stressors). Stress is our internal system’s reaction to a stressor, and this stress reaction will often manifest as strain, tension, constriction and/or pressure. 

Stressors are different person to person and so are stress responses i.e. what you find stressful, someone else might not because every person is unique (different genes and predispositions, different upbringings in different environments, etc.). A stress response activates the body’s fight, flight, freeze, fawn or flop system, releasing stress hormones like epinephrine (adrenaline), norepinephrine (noradrenaline) and cortisol to help us cope with the challenges. 

Additionally, there are different kinds of stress, including: acute, episodic, chronic and traumatic, as well as, vicarious stress or trauma. Check out the bullet pointed list below for a brief description and a few examples of each type of stress. 

• Acute: A short-term, immediate response to a perceived threat or challenge. The stressor triggers the body’s stress response and the release of stress hormones to help a person cope with the situation and once the stressor is resolved, the body typically returns to its normal state. This is the most common and least damaging type of stress.

• Examples: giving a big presentation, a difficult phone call with a client, a new assignment at work, taking a test, facing an unexpected non-life threatening situation, etc.

• Episodic: This type of stress is a step up in intensity from acute stress and involves bouts of acute stress related to short to medium term situations causing moderate levels of damage. It is often linked to frequent crises or demands and can lead to feelings of overwhelm. 

• Examples: facing repeated high-pressure deadlines at work, frequent arguments or issues within a relationship, recurring short-term financial struggles like unexpected bills, health scares, etc.

• Chronic: A long-term, persistent stressor that occurs when someone faces ongoing challenges or pressures without adequate support, relief or breaks. This type of stress can lead to serious mental, emotional and physical health problems. 

• Examples: long-term caregiving for a chronically ill family member or elderly parent, being stuck in a job or career that is high-pressure and unfulfilling without foreseeable change, toxic relationships, constant struggle to meet needs due to financial difficulties or long-term debt, etc.  

• Traumatic: The intense psychological, physiological and emotional response to an event or series of events that are life-threatening or deeply distressing. It overwhelms the person’s ability to cope and can lead to long-lasting effects on mental and physical health, such as PTSD, chronic pain and autoimmune disorders. 

• Examples: rape, incest, physical abuse, domestic violence, serious accidents, mugging, kidnapping, natural disaster, deprivation/neglect, suddedn loss, chaos, community violence, torture, war, etc.

• Vicarious Stress or Trauma: The emotional, physiological and psychological impact experienced by someone who is indirectly exposed to the trauma of others, often through witnessing the event or aftermath of the event or hearing about the traumatic experience. This is common in people who are close to, or work closely with people who are chronically stressed and dysregulated or trauma survivors. 

• Examples: loved ones and caregivers to people who have experienced high levels of stress or trauma, first responders dealing with accidents or violence, therapists, social workers, healthcare workers, journalists, etc. 

It’s important to note that all humans experience stress so if you are experiencing stress you aren’t doing anything wrong. In fact,  in the short term stress can be beneficial–it sharpens our focus and gives us the energy needed to overcome obstacles. However, when stress becomes chronic, it takes a toll on our health, leaving us feeling depleted and overwhelmed, potentially leading to burnout, adrenal fatigue and additional mental and physical health issues.  

Despite how mainstream society sees and talks about stress, it is not just a mental state. Stress affects us on all levels: physically, emotionally and spiritually. Therefore to truly manage it, reduce it and heal from it, we need to understand how it manifests across our entire being. 

The Mind: Mental and Emotional Signs of Stress

Stress often starts in the mind, but its effects can quickly ripple outward. It’s common that the first signs of stress, or dysregulation, are a person’s thoughts becoming anxious, racing and repetitive. Mentally, we feel scattered, unable to focus, or overwhelmed by even simple tasks. 

Here are some common mental and emotional signs of stress:

• Anxiety or worry: Constantly feeling on edge or amped up with a sense that something bad might happen.

• Irritability or frustration: Small things may set you off and finding it difficult to regulate your energy and emotions. 

• Racing, cyclical or repetitive thoughts: A mind that doesn’t seem to quiet down, even at night. This is another early sign your system is stressed or dysregulated.

• Difficulty focusing: Trouble concentrating or making decisions because your mind is too scattered or foggy.

• Mood swings: Emotional highs and lows that seem unpredictable or like they “come out of nowhere”.

These mental signs are signals that the body and mind are no longer in harmony. Your mental energy is being depleted and your thoughts are stuck in a cycle of fear or overwhelm.

The Body: Physical Signs of Stress

Stress has a profound impact on the body. It dysregulates the autonomic nervous system, also known as the “fight, flight, freeze, fawn and flop” responses, which prepares us to survive the perceived threat. This can be helpful in the short term, but when our bodies are in a constant state of alert, it leads to physical strain. 

Common physical signs of stress include:

• Muscle tension: Especially in the neck, shoulders, jaw and hips.

• Headaches or migraines: Tension headaches are a common result of prolonged stress.

• Fatigue or exhaustion: Constant stress drains the body’s energy, leading to a feeling of burnout.

• Digestive issues: Stress can disrupt digestion, causing symptoms like stomach pain, bloating, indigestion, constipation and/or diarrhea.

• Sleep disturbances: Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep is a hallmark of stress.

• Weekend immune system: Chronic stress weakens the body’s defenses leading to more frequent colds, illness and infections.

• Chest pain and rapid heartbeat

• Sexual changes: loss of desire and/or ability, or hypersexuality i.e. increased use of sex to release tension

• High blood pressure

In holistic therapy, we view these physical symptoms as the body’s way of communicating that it is out of balance. Chronic tension and fatigue signal that the body needs rest, relaxation and nurturing to return to a state of equilibrium. 

The Soul: Spiritual and Energetic Signs of Stress

While stress is often discussed in terms of the mind and body, it also deeply affects our spirit. Our felt sense of vitality decreases and we end up feeling disconnected from our sense of purpose, inner peace, and connection to something greater than ourselves. 

Common spiritual and energetic signs of stress include:

• Energetic depletion: stress drains our life force energy leaving us feeling empty, fatigued and/or numb

• Frantic, hustle energy: Feeling like you're running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

• Feeling disconnected or lost: Stress can make us feel like we’re drifting, unsure of our path or purpose. 

• Lack of fulfillment: We may feel like we’re just going through the motions, without joy or meaning in our daily lives. 

• Disconnection form intuition: When stress overwhelms us, it becomes difficult to hear or trust or inner voice

• Loss of connection: Stress can create a sense of isolation or disconnection from the world around us (nature, other people, community, the universe)

These spiritual symptoms are just as important as the mental and physical ones. They remind us that true healing requires reconnecting with our deeper selves and finding ways to nourish our spirit. 

The Importance of Listening to Stress and Addressing It Holistically

Stress is not something we can simply ignore or push through even though these tactics are glorified by U.S. culture. When we view stress holistically, we understand that it is a signal from our mind, body and soul that something needs attention. Instead of suppressing stress, we can learn to listen to it, allowing it to guide us toward the areas of our lives that need healing and balance. 

As holistic therapists we encourage you to honor your stress and approach it with curiosity and compassion. It’s not a weakness or something to be ashamed of–stress is a natural part of life. Check out the bullet pointed list below for a general overview of various tools and strategies that are useful in managing and reducing stress:

• Mind: Mindfulness practices like meditation, journaling or breathing exercises can help slow and soften the mind to reduce anxiety caused by racing thoughts. Cognitive reframing, or learning to shift negative thought patterns, is also a powerful tool for reducing mental stress.

• Body: Physical practices such as yoga, gentle stretching, or somatic therapies help release tension stored in the muscles. Regular movement, proper nutrition, and adequate sleep are essential for supporting the body’s ability to cope with stress.

• Soul: To nourish the soul, we can turn to practices like meditation, grounding, spending time in nature, or engaging in creative expression. Spiritual practices, whether prayer, energy healing, or simply deep reflection, help us reconnect with our inner selves and restore a sense of peace. 

And…a holistic approach to stress doesn’t just treat the symptoms, it seeks to restore balance across the entire person. While there are things we can do to better manage and reduce stress, ultimately it’s important to get at the root cause i.e. why your inner system reacts the way it does to stressors (stayed tuned for information on getting at the root of stress in an upcoming blog titled “Healing Stress at Its Root”). 

Final Thoughts

Stress touches every aspect of our being, but it doesn’t have to overwhelm us. By approaching it holistically (mind, body and soul) we can learn to navigate stress with greater ease and resilience. Healing stress isn’t about eliminating it entirely (remember some stress is actually useful!); it’s about cultivating tools and practices that bring us back into alignment, as well as, resolving past wounds, so we can face life’s challenges from a place of balance and strength. 

Holistic therapy offers a pathway to this balance, reminding us that healing is a journey that involves nurturing every part of ourselves. If you’re tired of being tired and over being stressed all the time, head to the “contact tab” in the upper righthand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

Harnessing the Power of the Menstrual Cycle for Better Mental Health and Well-Being

Did you know the 9-to-5 work day is synced to the male testosterone cycle? Yeppers, it’s true :( 

The traditional 9-to-5 work day, created in the 1920’s, aligns closely with the daily testosterone cycle in men, which peaks in the morning and gradually declines through the day. Testosterone is linked to energy, focus and assertiveness, making early to mid-morning an optimal time for men to engage in tasks that require concentration and productivity. 

For women, however, this schedule is less than ideal and for almost a century now women have been expected to just make it work on the 9-to-5 schedule that was designed around a man. 

Unlike men, women’s energy, mood and focus are more influenced by the infradian rhythm, the menstrual cycle, that spans 28 days. Throughout this cycle, fluctuations in hormones like estrogen, progesterone and testosterone can significantly impact energy levels, cognitive function and physical and emotional well-being. 

So, instead of continuing to force yourself to fit into something that never considered you and your unique make-up, what would it be like to take things into your own hands? What would it be like to sync your life and work to your natural biorhythms?

Understanding and tracking your menstrual cycle is more than just keeping tabs on your period – it’s a powerful tool for enhancing your mental health and overall well-being. By tuning into the natural rhythms of your body, you can anticipate shifts in your emotional and energetic states and align your lifestyle, work and self-care practices with your hormonal fluctuations.

Check out the section below to get started on syncing your life and work to your infradian cycle:

Follicular Phase (7-10 days) - in this phase estrogen and energy is rising creating more mental clarity 

• Themes: Growth, new beginnings and setting plans in motion

• Focus On: Researching, learning something new, planing, preparing, tapping into your creativity, innovating, starting new projects

Self-Care Strategies:

• Movement - Take advantage of your rising energy levels, but keep in mind these are not your peak energy levels. Try slightly more intense movement like: dance classes, jump roping, indoor cycling, hiking, vinyasa yoga, etc.

• Nutrition - During this phase your appetite will be more suppressed so your body may not crave or need as many calories. Try incorporating light foods that support your building energy levels, things like: salads, smoothies and lean proteins.

• Social - Plan social events or start a new hobby during this time when you’re more likely to feel communicative

• Work - Engage in collaborative work, projects that inspire you, brainstorm, create a vision board, plan or start a new project

Ovulatory Phase (3-4 days) - in this phase estrogen levels peak and so does your energy, so you’re likely to feel at your best both physically and emotionally during this time 

• Themes: Confidence, connection, communication, outward expression

• Focus On: Socializing, pitching ideas, being seen, collaborating and connecting with others, deepening personal connections

Self-Care Strategies:

• Movement - These days are your peak energy levels, so let it rip and enjoy feeling how powerful you are! Try movement like: power yoga, HIIT, boot camp classes, kickboxing, strenuous hikes, pilates reformer, running, cycling

• Nutrition - As estrogen peaks, vegetables can aid in metabolizing this hormone to prevent an excessive buildup and avoid estrogen dominance. Your body temperature also rises during this phase so it’s a good time to consider more raw foods like fresh fruits and veggies, fish, yogurt, nuts

• Social - Go on dates, get lunch with friends, build relationships and deepen your more personal connections

• Work - Schedule important meetings, presentations or social events during this time to maximize your communication skills and confidence

Luteal Phase (10-14 days) - progesterone is at its highest point which can have a calming effect and create more subdued energy and moods

• Themes: Completion, nurturing, tending, working, doing, organizing, wrapping up

• Focus On: Getting things done you planned during your follicular phase, feeling good about wrapping things up

Self-Care Strategies: 

• Movement - At the beginning of this phase you’ll likely feel pretty good but be prepared for your hormones and energy levels to start dropping towards the middle and end of this phase. Try movement like: pilates, weight lifting, yoga, shorter easier hikes, longer walks and add in a couple rest days.

• Nutrition - Your body needs more calories during this phase due to increased metabolic activity driven by peak progesterone levels which has a thermogenic effect. Try slow-burning complex carbs and nutrient dense foods like sweet potatoes, quinoa, oats, brown rice, leafy greens, nuts and seeds, salmon and berries. 

• Social - Engage in activities that nurture your emotional well-being like connecting with supportive friends, scheduling an extra therapy session, practicing self-compassion and allow for extra sleep and rest as your energy starts to wane

• Work - Declutter and organize, tidy-up, complete tasks and organize your space to create a sense of order

Menstrual Phase (3-7 days) - body temperature drops and your hormones and energy levels are at their lowest

• Themes: Evaluation, intuition, reflection, introspection, relaxation, self-compassion

• Focus On: Rest, reviewing accomplishments and noting areas of your life that feel less than optimal or that need attention, journaling, identifying what you need to let go of, setting intentions for next follicular phase

Self-Care Strategies:

• Movement - Consider rest days for 40- 50% of your days during this period and on non-rest days consider trying yin yoga, walking, mat pilates, restorative or gentle yoga

• Nutrition - As hormone levels and your body temperature drop, stick to warming, comforting foods like: soups and stews, roasted root vegetables, oatmeal, herbal teas, cooked dark leafy greens, dark chocolate

• Social - Prioritize rest and allow yourself extra sleep and downtime to honor your body’s need for restoration

• Work -Tthese are the days you give yourself permission to do the bare minimum at work, enough so you don’t get fired or super behind on things, but do your best to accept that your productivity will not be as high as it is during your follicular, ovulatory and luteal phases

We live in a world shaped by patriarchal norms, where women have long been expected to conform to a male-centric model of productivity, often at the expense of their own mental health and well-being. This disregard for the unique bio-rhythms that govern women’s bodies has led to unnecessary disembodiment, stress, burnout and a disconnect from our natural cycles and energy levels. However, by reclaiming the power of your menstrual cycle and aligning your life with your rhythms, you can unlock profound improvements to your mental health and overall wellbeing. Embracing this knowledge and the practice of cycle tracking and cycle syncing isn’t just a personal revolution; it’s a game changer that allows you to live more harmoniously, authentically and powerfully.

If you’d like additional support in getting started in the practice of cycle tracking and cycle syncing we recommend checking out the following apps: Clue, Flo, Ovia, Glow and MyFLO. And, as always we are here for you. We are a group of holistic, somatically trained female therapists who love supporting and guiding women to repair their relationships with their bodies, tap into their inner power and live as their most authentic, most badass selves! Just head to the “contact tab” in the upper righthand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in-touch!

PMS or PMDD? Navigating the Spectrum of Premenstrual Symptoms

Navigating the spectrum of premenstrual symptoms can be a confusing and often frustrating journey for many women. From mood swings and bloating to more severe emotional challenges, understanding the difference between PMS and PMDD is crucial for finding the right approach to relief. In this blog, we’ll explore the similarities and differences between the two and identify causes and options for intervention. 

What is PMS? 

Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) is a group of physical, emotional and behavioral symptoms that 70-90% of women experience in the days or weeks leading up to their period. PMS is not in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) and is not considered a psychological disorder. 

Typically, these symptoms begin during the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle (also referred to as the infradian cycle) and continue into the menstrual phase. PMS can vary in severity ranging from mild discomfort to severe symptoms that interfere with daily life and tasks. While PMS is common, the symptoms, intensity and duration can differ significantly from woman to woman. 

Causes of PMS

Like most things, PMS does not have just one root cause. It is believed to be related to the complex interplay of hormonal changes occurring within the infradian menstrual cycle, particularly fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone levels. Several factors including: hormonal fluctuations, neurotransmitter changes, lifestyle factors, genetics and underlying physical and mental health conditions, contribute to the development of PMS. 

Symptoms of PMS

Symptoms are varied person to person and can be categorized into physical, emotional and behavioral. These symptoms typically begin a week or two before menstruation and usually resolve within a few days after the onset of menstruation. 

Physical Symptoms:

• Breast tenderness

• Bloating

• Headaches or migraines

• Fatigue

• Cramps

• Joint or muscle pain

• Weight gain

• Digestive issues

• Acne

Emotional and Behavioral Symptoms:

• Mood swings

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Irritability

• Difficulty concentrating

• Sleep disturbances

• Appetite changes

• Social withdrawal

• Energy changes

What is PMDD?

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a severe form of PMS that affects approximately 23-30% of women (however keep in mind statistics come from reported, recorded and diagnosed cases, so the percentage women suffering from PMDD is likely higher). 

PMDD involves more intense emotional and physical symptoms that significantly impair daily life, relationships and work. Unlike PMS, which is uncomfortable but generally manageable, PMDD can be debilitating. 

Also unlike PMS, PMDD is considered a psychological disorder and is currently listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5) as a separate entity under depressive disorders, with the criteria for diagnosis as follows:

Criterion A - At least 5 of the following 11 symptoms (including at least 1 of the first 4 listed) need to be present for diagnosis:

• Markedly depressed mood, feelings of hopelessness, or self-deprecating thoughts

• Marked anxiety, tension, feelings of being “keyed up” or “on edge”

• Marked affective lability (extreme and sudden changes in mood or emotional state)

• Persistent and marked anger or irritability or increased interpersonal conflicts

• Decreased interest in usual activities (ex: work, school, friends, and hobbies)

• Difficulty concentrating

• Lethargy, easily fatigued, or marked lack of energy

• Marked change in appetite, overeating, or specific food cravings

• Hypersomnia or insomnia

• A subjective sense of being overwhelmed or out of control

• Other physical symptoms, such as breast tenderness or swelling, headaches, joint or muscle pain, a sensation of bloating, or weight gain.

Criterion B - Symptoms are severe enough to interfere significantly with social, occupational, sexual, or academic functioning.

Criterion C - Symptoms are specifically related to the menstrual cycle and are not related to or an exacerbation of the symptoms of another disorder, such as major depressive disorder, panic disorder, dysthymic disorder, or a personality disorder (although the symptoms may be superimposed on those of these disorders).

Criterion D - Criteria A, B, and C are confirmed by daily ratings during at least 2 consecutive menstrual cycles. The diagnosis may be made provisionally before this confirmation.

Causes of PMDD

The exact cause of PMDD is unclear, but is thought to involve either an abnormal response to the hormonal changes, or more significant hormonal changes occurring during the menstrual cycle that more profoundly affect neurotransmitters like serotonin. Research has revealed certain risk factors like trauma, cigarette smoking, genetics and obesity to be correlated with the development of PMDD. 

Symptoms

PMDD symptoms are similar to those of PMS but are much more severe, particularly in terms of emotional and mental health. These symptoms typically begin one to two weeks before menstruation and subside a few days after the period begins. 

Emotional and Behavioral Symptoms:

• Severe mood swings

• Irritability, anger or rage

• Severe depression or hopelessness

• Severe anxiety or tension

• Increased relationship strain and/or conflict

• Inability to concentrate, focus or think clearly

• Severe fatigue

• Sleep problems

• Appetite changes

• Physical symptoms

Management of PMS and PMDD

While PMS can often be better managed and alleviated with lifestyle changes and coping tools (which we go over in our blog titled “Harnessing the Power of the Menstrual Cycle: Using Cycle Tracking and Cycle Syncing for Better Mental Health and Overall Well-Being”), PMDD typically requires more intensive intervention involving lifestyle modifications, medication (antidepressants (SSRIs), hormonal treatments, nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs)) and psychotherapy.  

When you’re navigating the spectrum or premenstrual symptoms, whether it’s PMS or PMDD, it’s important to remember that every experience is valid and deserves attention. Understanding the difference between these conditions can empower you to seek the right kinds of support and treatment. Even though it can be challenging in a patriarchal society, try your best to tune into your body’s signals and advocate for your health because it is possible to manage symptoms better and improve your overall well-being. And remember, you don’t have to go at this all alone - we are here for you. We get what it’s like to be negatively affected by premenstrual symptoms and as holistic, somatically trained therapists we would be honored to walk alongside you in journey to experiencing better health and wellness. Just head to the contact tab in the upper righthand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch with you ASAP!

The Menstrual Cycle and Mood Swings: Understanding the Science Behind Hormonal Fluctuations

Do you feel afraid to admit that your period affects you? If so, you are NOT alone in this. 

Approximately 75% of women (and that percentage is likely higher) experience some form of premenstrual symptoms and are therefore affected by their periods, but very few of us speak up about this for a variety of reasons:

• The topic of menstruation has long been a taboo subject in many cultures

• Being made to feel inappropriate, embarrassed and ashamed for having periods let alone discussing them

• Social conditioning to see menstrual pain and symptoms as “normal”, something that just has to be endured so we learn that we should just get on with life and be able to operate like our male counterparts

• Fear of getting dismissed or seen as “overly emotional”, “weak”, less competent or professional

• Patriarchal conditioning for women to prioritize others’ needs over our own, leading us push through and downplay our own discomfort and pain

• Negative experiences with healthcare providers who dismiss our symptoms or fail to take them seriously

Because SO many women are affected by their periods, we wanted to speak on this and give you the information that so many of us never got growing up.  

When we think about biological rhythms, the circadian rhythm (our 24 hour internal clock) often comes to mind, however, as women, we have an additional rhythm that plays a crucial role in our health and well-being; the infradian rhythm. 

This rhythm (or cycle) spans 28 days, includes four different phases and profoundly influences a woman’s physical, emotional and mental state. If you can feel a part of you feeling silly or stupid for not knowing this, try not to be hard on yourself! At one point in time, we didn’t know any of this either because as girls and women we do not get taught this in school and following school this information isn’t being openly talked about in daily life. To get this information, we have to seek it out for ourselves, which, in our opinion, is complete crap and yet another way in which the patriarchy treats women as second class citizens. 

Our hope is that in learning about and understanding your infradian cycle you can feel more empowered to align your life more closely with your body’s natural ebb and flow which in-turn promotes better mental health and overall wellness. 

So…What is the Infradian Cycle?

The infradian rhythm is a biological cycle that lasts longer than 24 hours. For women, the most prominent infradian rhythm is the menstrual cycle, which typically ranges from 21 to 35 days. This cycle is divided into four phases: 1. Follicular 2.Ovulatory 3. Luteal 4. Menstrual. Each phase is governed by a complex interplay of hormones, particularly estrogen and progesterone, which fluctuate throughout the cycle bringing to the surface various strengths and symptoms. 

The Four Phases of the Infradian Cycle

Follicular Phase (7-10 days) - During this phase estrogen levels gradually rise, leading to increased dopamine and serotonin activity often causing increased energy, feeling more physically capable, suppressed appetite, increased motivation, improved mood and enhanced cognitive function. You might notice yourself feeling more optimistic, outgoing, confident and motivated during this time, making it an ideal time for planning and preparation. 

• Strengths: Creativity

• Focus: Plan, research, prepare, get clear on your vision, dream big

Ovulatory Phase (3-4 days) - During this phase estrogen levels peak and testosterone levels rise which has a stimulating effect on both dopamine and serotonin. The rise in dopamine supports motivation and drive, while the increase in serotonin promotes emotional balance and happiness. You might notice yourself experiencing heightened energy, improved focus, increased motivation, emotional stability, positive mood, high confidence, sociability and sexual desire. This combination often makes ovulation a time when women feel at their best mentally and emotionally. However, the rapid hormonal shifts can also lead to mood swings for some women. 

• Strengths: Communication & Collaboration

• Focus: Open-up, socialize, collaborate, be seen, host get togethers, have important conversations

Luteal Phase (10-14 days) - During this phase progesterone levels peak and more calories are needed. The peak levels of progesterone in the beginning of this phase can have a calming effect, promoting relaxation and subdued mood. However, if pregnancy does not occur, both estrogen and progesterone levels decline sharply towards the end of this phase leading to reduced dopamine and serotonin activity and PMS (premenstrual) symptoms like irritability, anxiety, depression and other mood disturbances for some women. 

• Strengths: Completion, Nurturing and Tending

• Focus: Take action, work, do, produce and celebrate how powerful you are

Menstrual Phase (3-7 days) - During this phase estrogen and progesterone levels are at their lowest (reducing dopamine and serotonin activity), body temperature drops and warming foods are needed. The drop in these hormones can lead to feelings of fatigue, irritability and low mood. Some women also experience physical symptoms like cramps, headaches and lower back pain, which can further impact mental health and overall well-being. 

• Strengths: Evaluation and Intuition

• Focus: Rest, relax and reflect on the past month, journal, self-compassion, listen to your intuition and let it guide you in setting intention for next follicular phase

Hormonal Fluctuations and Mental Health

The hormonal fluctuations throughout the infradian cycle have a significant impact on mental health. Estrogen and progesterone, the primary female sex hormones, play major roles in the regulation of dopamine and serotonin, two key neurotransmitters involved in mood, motivation and overall mental health. 

Estrogen plays a critical role in the production of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that regulates mood, and it may also inhibit the reuptake of serotonin allowing it to remain in the synaptic gap longer, thereby enhancing the effects of serotonin. When estrogen levels are high, serotonin production increases, leading to a more positive mood. Estrogen can also increase dopamine production in the brain and also the sensitivity and density of dopamine receptors. This can enhance the effects of dopamine, potentially improving mood, focus and cognitive function. Conversely, when estrogen levels drop, serotonin and dopamine activity decreases, which can result in mood swings, anxiety and depression. 
Progesterone’s impact on serotonin is more complex and can depend on the balance with estrogen. When progesterone levels are higher than estrogen, like in the luteal phase, it can reduce the positive effects estrogen has on serotonin. The calming effect that progesterone can have comes from its interaction with the GABA system where it counterbalances the excitatory effect of serotonin, leading to a more stabilized but potentially subdued mood. Progesterone has a more inhibitory effect on dopamine activity reducing dopamine driven arousal and reward seeking behaviors and ultimately having a more soothing effect on the brain. Progesterone interacts with GABA receptors (the brain’s primary calming neurotransmitters) helping to reduce anxiety and promote restful sleep. However, a sudden drop in progesterone (like during the end of the luteal phase) can trigger symptoms of PMS including mood swings and increased anxiety. 

Conclusion

The infradian cycle is a powerful biological force that influences every aspect of a woman’s life, from physical energy levels to emotional well-being. By learning about (you are already doing this!) and respecting the infradian rhythm, you can foster a deeper connection with your body, improve your mental health and live in greater harmony with your natural cycles. Whether through lifestyle adjustments, self-care practices, or professional support, aligning with the infradian rhythm offers a path to enhanced well-being and a more balanced life.

Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!

September: Harvest, Reflect & Release

Hello Brave Community!

As we move into September, the energy shifts towards harvest -- both literally and metaphorically. This time of year invites us to appreciate the fruits of our labor, reflect on the journey we've taken, and prepare for release.

Just as nature transitions from the busyness of summer to the introspection of autumn, we too, are called to slow down and take stock of our inner landscape. September is a time to honor our efforts, celebrate the growth and abundance in our lives and begin acknowledging the mindsets, relationships and patterns that are no longer serving us.  

As the days grow shorter, many people experience a natural slowing down in their energy and productivity levels. The change of season may also stir up unresolved emotions, inviting you to confront what is no longer helpful or needed.

If you've been looking for a way to grow in your spirituality or connect to yourself deeper, allow September to pull you into the practice of balance. Balancing gratitude for your efforts during the growing season (summer) and the abundance in your life with reflecting on, identifying and making a plan to let go of your inner blocks. 

If you'd like support in creating balance in your life, check out the next section on rituals for the autumnal equinox, or, reach out to us! We love guiding people to understand and release what's getting in the way of experience balance in their lives. Just email us at info@bravecounseling.com and we will be in touch ASAP!

Rituals for the Autumn Equinox

Mark your calendar! This year the Autumn Equinox is on Sunday 9/22. 

During the equinox, the earth’s tilt is such that neither the northern nor southern hemisphere is tilted toward or away from the sun, creating a balance between daytime and nighttime. 

The Autumn Equinox represents a time of balance, reflection, gratitude and transition as the day and night are equal in length, symbolizing harmony between light and dark, or external and internal worlds. 

To help embody and not just think of these autumnal equinox themes, here are some ritual options for this special day:

1. Harvest Feast

Purpose: To celebrate abundance and community

How To:

1. Prepare a meal with seasonal ingredients like squash, apples, pumpkins and grains. 

2. Invite loved ones to join you, or enjoy a solo meal with mindful awareness

3. Use the meal as an opportunity to reflect on the abundance in your life and share gratitude.

**Perhaps consider combining this ritual with either or both of the rituals listed below

2. Gratitude Ritual

Purpose: To express thanks for the abundance and blessings in your life.

How To:

1. Create a small altar with symbols of harvest (sunflowers, apples, candles, pumpkins, grains, leaves, crystals like citrine and/or smoky quartz etc.)

2. Light a candle and meditate on the abundance and blessings in your life

3. Journal or make a list of what you’re grateful for and either read these aloud or write them on pieces of paper and place at the altar to offer thanks

3. Balance Meditation

Purpose: To connect with the spiritual and emotional themes of balance inherent in the equinox.

How To:

1. Site in a quiet space and focus on your breath

2. Envision balance in your life or bring the concept of balance very clearly into your mind’s eye

3. Allow the areas in your life that feel off-balance to come to you and set intentions to bring harmony to those aspects of your life

Therapist Highlight: Amy Reid

Meet the amazing Amy Reid!

Amy is a Navy Veteran and Licensed Professional Counselor with a Master of Science in Counseling, Marriage, Child and Family Therapy.

Her clinical background consists of helping couples, individuals, families, children, and adolescents address and overcome trauma, anxiety, relational problems, anger, infidelity, addiction, and life transitions.

Amy has owned and operated a host home for developmentally disabled adults empowering them to achieve greater independence. Amy also spent over a year studying with a Shaman where she learned energy healing and is adept in spiritual development and has certifications in Reiki and Munay Ki.

Amy is empathic, genuine, curious, accepting and creative in the way she works with folks. She takes a strength-based, client-centered and solution-focused approach and integrates various therapeutic methods including Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Trauma Focused CBT, Functional Family Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy, mindfulness, Behavioral Activation Therapy, Experiential Therapy, Narrative, Existential Therapy, ABA, and Motivational Interviewing.

Amy enjoys working with...

• Couples, adolescents, children, adults and folks with developmental disabilities

• Anxiety, grief/loss, depression, ADHD, phobias, trauma, stress management,  guilt/shame, self-esteem/ self-worth issues, family turmoil, relationship dynamics and communication breakdowns

• Folks who are looking for increased independence, healthy coping skills, behavior modification and improved self-regulation

Amy as a person:

• Personality: warm, non-judgmental and curious

• Activities: enjoying the outdoors, specifically hiking, fishing, photography, camping and reading tarot and providing intuitive readings

• Foods: lots of different things, but LOVES cherries!

• Travels: Amy recently moved back to Colorado where she was born and raised after 4.5 years of traveling as a military family & working with military children and families in Japan and Alaska working with military children and families. She loved getting to experience different cultures by living in different areas of the world vs. just traveling.

• Quotes:"Leap and the net will appear. - John Burroughs, and, "Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but rather by the moments that take our breath away" - Maya Angelou

• Pets: Oreo (see picture)

If you find yourself drawn to Amy, send us an email and we will get you connected to her for a FREE consultation!

Self-Care & Strategies for Backlash for Recovering People Pleasers

Learning to connect to yourself, care for yourself and handle backlash are key to healing from and letting go of people-pleasing. 

Trust us, we get it. We know first hand how hard it can be to let go of people-pleasing. Many therapists and helping professionals find their way to the field because we too had to practice *a certain skill set* from a young age. We know what it takes to heal the emotional wounds and let go of the urges to control and protect by being pleasing and likable. 

We also know how worth it it is to get to know yourself deeply and understand your worth so that self-care and boundaries begin to fall into place naturally. Check out the list below for practical self-care tools and strategies for dealing with backlash that will help you in your recovery from people-pleasing:

Self-Care Tools:

• Get Enough - practice completing the sequence of needing, asking, receiving, filling up and pushing away (what you missed out on in early, formative relationships). Taking in energy (nourishment) directly gives you the experience of fullness which will begin to give you feelings of strength, expansion and self-confidence.

• Self Referencing - practice tuning into and referencing your own core. This will help you learn how to measure what you have and what you need, breaking the pattern of self-neglect/going without.

• Self-Compassion - do your best to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Give yourself permission to struggle, to feel your feelings and encourage yourself with compassion instead of criticism.

• Schedule “Me” Time - literally put it on your calendar and commit to it like you would a work meeting. Your “Me Time” can be anything you want it to be - you can engage in hobbies, take a class, do nothing - it’s your time to spend how you’d like, in a way that feels good to you. This might be confusing at first because you never really got the opportunity to know yourself and what your preferences are. Be patient and try to be okay with not knowing and experimenting!

• Mindfulness & Meditation - do your best to commit to meditating each day. Spend 5-20 minutes focusing on the present moment which can help reduce anxiety and help you stay grounded in your own needs and desires.

• Physical Care - do your best to get daily movement, nutritious meals, 8-9 hours of sleep, hydration (~90 ounces of water/day). Even though this may seem basic, good physical self-care on a consistent basis is crucial for mental well-being.

• Journaling - write about your thoughts and feelings regularly (daily if possible). This can help you process your emotions and gain insight into your behaviors, motivations and needs.

• Creative Activities - activities like painting, writing, pottery, playing music, etc. can help you express yourself authentically because creative processes are gateways to the core self.

• Celebrate Small Wins - it can be easy to miss your progress because you are with yourself day in and day out. Do your best to reflect intentionally on your wins for the day or week related to letting go of people-pleasing. 

• Assertiveness  Skill Building - learning to express your needs and desires clearly and confidently is a game changer for recovering people-pleasers. Assertiveness skills will help you meet your needs and set and maintain boundaries. 

• Delegate (Let Others Help) - you are used to doing everything for others and nothing or the bare minimum for yourself. As you let go of and recover from people-pleasing, do your best to receive support and help from others. Start small, maybe something you don’t even really need help with but let someone else do it and observe what that’s like for you.

• “Yes” and “No” in Your Body - work on reconnecting and building a relationship with your body. As you do this, you will learn what kinds of sensations come through when you actually want to do something (“yes”) and when you do not (“no”). 

• Seek Support - start therapy or talk to your therapist about your wins and struggles related to letting go of people-pleasing. Your therapist can provide you with compassion, validation, tools and strategies to build a healthier relationship with yourself and others. Group therapy can also be very useful in taking care of yourself as you recover from people pleasing!

Strategies for Dealing with Backlash:

• Root Into Your “Why” - revisiting your motivation or why you decided to stop people-pleasing in the first place. Keeping your motivations front of mind can help you stay strong in the face of backlash. Write these down on a notecard or in the notes section of your phone for easy access!

• Build Your Distress Tolerance - in particular build your ability to feel and stay present with the emotions and sensations of guilt & shame. Feeling guilty, or like you’re “a bad person” (shame) is a natural part of the process for recovering people pleasers so it’s important to learn how to be with those emotions so they don’t push you around. 

• Swap Positions - emotionally immature people will give you the most backlash to expressing your needs and setting your boundaries, so to help with this, think: “Would I react this way if someone I loved expressed their needs or a boundary to me?” or, if it’s hard to think what you would do, then think about the most loving, calm and centered person you know and think about how they would react to your needs or boundaries. 

• Acknowledge & Validate Their Feelings- acknowledge the fact that you have changed which can be confusing and challenging for others. Validate the other person’s emotions without compromising your own boundaries. Show them empathy but remain firm. Ex: “I know I used to be able to do that for you, but I no longer can. It makes sense that you’re frustrated, change can be hard at first.” 

• Set & Reiterate Your Boundaries - clearly define what behaviors you will and won’t accept and that note that you’re still figuring this out so you’ll let them know along the way just as you hope they will let you know what their boundaries are. Remember that you will have to reiterate your boundaries because people forget and most people need to hear something more than once. 

• Seek Support - Surround yourself with supportive friends or family who understand and respect your decision. It can also be incredibly helpful to talk to a therapist to receive support and guidance as you let go of a protective strategy you’ve used for most of your life.

• Expect Resistance - Be prepared for some negative reactions. People who benefitted from your people-pleasing will resist this change the most. Some will come around and others will not, which will give you clarity about which relationships to keep and which ones to let go of. Remember, healthy relationships are reciprocal and have boundaries. It’s healthy to let go of toxic relationships with folks who only want to be in a relationship with you for their own benefit.

• Practice NS Regulation - do your best to stay regulated when faced with backlash. Reacting from a place of anger will escalate the situation. It’s okay to feel angry, but do your best to communicate on behalf of the part of you that’s irritated or anger vs. letting your angry/irritate part of self do the talking. 

• Avoid Over-Explaining - You don’t need to justify your boundaries extensively, just like you don’t expect others to justify their boundaries beyond a simple explanation. A simple, clear explanation is often enough.

• Take Breaks - when the backlash becomes overwhelming, it’s okay to take a step back and gather your thoughts and feelings before re-engaging. It can be useful to have some phrases memorized to use in overwhelming moments like: “Let me think about that and I’ll let you know” or “I need to run to bathroom real quick, I’ll be right back” or “Hmmmm, that’s a really good question, I want to sit with that for a moment.” 

• Know When to Walk Away - when someone consistently disrespects your boundaries and you’ve noticed it’s a pattern, it’s time to limit or end the relationship for your own well-being. It can sometimes be useful to realize that those interactions probably aren’t feeling good to that other person either. 

In conclusion, navigating the journey of healing, letting go of and recovering from people pleasing can be empowering and challenging. By embracing self-care tools like setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion and seeking support, you can foster a healthier relationship with yourself AND with others. Equally important to your journey are the strategies for dealing with backlash, including nervous system regulation, reiterating your boundaries and validating others’ emotions, which help you maintain your newfound assertiveness with less and less guilt. Remember, this process is a testament to your healing, growth and commitment to prioritizing your well-being. As you continue on this path you’ll not only strengthen your self-worth and self-confidence, but also cultivate more authentic and balanced relationships. 

And as always, we are here for you. If you’d like additional support and guidance on breaking free from people-pleasing just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch ASAP! 

Summer Heat & Back to School

At the moment we are smack dab in the middle of the dog days of summer. Oooof! The heat this time of year is unrelenting - we are feeling it right along with you! 

This transitional time of year between summer and fall, with the persistent heat and back-to-school preparations, can often lead to experiences of overheating, overwhelm and a heightened sense of seriousness and pressure.

Whether you yourself, or your kids are heading back to school, this time of year brings a mix of energetic excitement and emotional intensity. From the joy of new beginnings to the stress of preparation, the end of summer is a period of significant change. 

In this issue of our newsletter, we will…

• explore ways to navigate this dynamic season 

• offer tips to manage the emotional and physical challenges that often accompany the end of summer and the return to school

• Highlight one of our in-house therapists who loves guiding folks through life transitions

Join us as we embrace the final stretch of summer and prepare for the opportunities and adventures of the new academic year. 

Cooling Down: Somatic Tools for Managing Heat & Overwhelm

As the heat intensifies during these final two months of summer, so can feelings of stress and overwhelm. Check out the list below for a variety of somatic tools designed to help you stay cool and regulated during this transitional time. From deep breathing techniques to cooling foods, in this section you’ll discover practical methods to manage both physical and emotional discomfort during the hottest days of the year and the back to school transition. 

• Deep Breathing - Practice slow, deep breaths (without straining) to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and promote relaxation.

• Cooling Breathwork - 

• Left Nostril Breathing - Plug your right nostril with your right thumb and inhale slowing through your left nostril. Left nostril breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system calming the mind and body, offering a cooling effect, promoting relaxation and reducing stress and overwhelm. 

• Rolled Tongue Breathing - Inhale through a rolled tongue or pursed lips, bringing in cool air to help lower your body temperature. 

• Progressive Muscle Relaxation - Tense and then relax each muscle group for ~5 seconds, starting from your toes and working your way up to your head.

• Body Scan - Sit or lie down and mentally scan your body for areas of tension or discomfort, consciously relaxing each part.

• Cool Compresses - Apply a cold cloth or ice pack to pulse points like your wrists, neck and forehead to help slow and cool your system down. 

• Hydration - Drink plenty of water throughout the day to stay hydrated and help your body regulate its temperature.

• Mindful Movement - Movement helps release anxiety and overwhelm, yet certain kinds of movement can overheat you during the final weeks of summer. Do your best to keep daily movement as part of your routine, but do your best to move mindfully (early mornings or evenings). 

• Grounding Techniques - Use grounding techniques such as feeling your feet on the floor or holding onto an ice cube to stay present in the moment and reduce feelings of stress and overwhelm. 

• Visualization - Imagine a cool, calming place, such as a high alpine meadow, a shaded forest or a beach with an umbrella and water. Use visualization to help your mind and body relax.

• Cold Showers/Cold Plunges - Take short plunges (a couple minutes or less) in cold lakes, or, turn your shower to cold for the final 30 seconds to 1 minute. Cold water can help reduce stress and overwhelm by improving circulation & sleep, boosting your mood, reducing inflammation and activating your vagus nerve.

• Cooling Foods - Incorporate hydrating and cooling foods like cucumbers, watermelon and mint into your daily meals and snacks. 

• Rest & Shade - Take breaks throughout your day in shaded or air conditioned spaces to give your nervous system and body a chance to cool down and recover.

If you find yourself wanting additional support and guidance during this transitional time…

1. You are NOT alone, and

2. Check out the next section where we highlight one of our amazing therapists who is a life transition expert! 

Therapist Highlight: Nadja Dixon

Meet the multi-talented, life transition expert, Nadja Dixon!

Nadja is a licensed professional counselor with nearly a decade of experience supporting, advocating and guiding people to heal and grow.

Her clinical background consists of a variety of experiences including substance abuse treatment, probation and parole, court advocacy, transitioning to college and independent life, skill building to support executive functioning and neurotherapy.

When working with people, Nadja gravitates toward a client-centered and strength-based approach. She offers her clients information on neurobiology, somatic-based mindfulness and DBT skills for better emotion & energy regulation. Nadja also integrates attachment and systems theory into her work with clients and is trained in neurofeedback & neurostimulation.

Nadja loves working with folks who are… 

• facing life transitions 

• struggling with anxiety

• grappling with their identity 

• experiencing overwhelming emotions, or, feeling disconnected from their emotions

• young adults, young professionals, women

Nadja as a person:

• Personality: spunky, lighthearted and kind

• Activities: travel, ceramics, wandering in nature, baking, reading/writing

• Foods: gummy bears, cheese puffs, Mediterranean, steak

• Drinks: pour over coffee, tea, water with lemon, lightly flavored lattes, Pellegrino

• Travels: Chile, France, Peru, Germany, UK and Austria

• Quotes:"Your head is a living forest full of songbirds" - E.E. Cummings - "Live every week like shark week" -Tracy Jordan - "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-/I took the ones less traveled by,/And that has made all the difference." -Robert Frost

• Pets: Huxley, a mastiff, pit bull mix and “the greatest dog alive!”

If you find yourself drawn to Nadja, send us an email and we will get you connected to her for a FREE consultation! 

Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!