Welcome Spring with Fresh Intentions

Hello Brave Community!

Can you believe it’s daylight saving time again?! Yeppers, it’s true. This Sunday (3/9) we “spring ahead” by 1 hour and the number of daylight hours we get to experience increases. And just like that, we are exiting out of winter and sliding into spring.

As the seasons shift, so do we. The transition from winter to spring is typically very welcomed by many, but it can bring both uplifting and challenging experiences. Check out the bullet points below for a list of some ways the seasonal shift from winter to spring affects us humans.

Psychological Effects

• Increased Energy, Mental Clarity & Motivation - As daylight increases, so does serotonin, often leading to improved mood and motivation. The rising temperatures and longer daylight hours can lift brain fog and inspire new projects.

• Shift in Mindset - Moving from the introspective energy of winter to the outward-facing energy of spring can bring a desire for growth, exploration, and social engagement.

• Restlessness, Anxiety & Impatience - After months of slower energy, the sudden shift can bring feelings of urgency and frustration. The transition can be unsettling, particularly for those sensitive to change, as the stillness of winter gives way to movement. 

• Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Relief - More sunlight often boosts serotonin, helping to alleviate symptoms of winter depression.

• Spring Cleaning Impulse - The psychological need to declutter both physical spaces and mental/emotional baggage is heightened. 

Physical Effects

• Changes in Sleep Patterns - More daylight can disrupt sleep schedules; adjusting your evening routine can help.

• Increased Energy Levels - For some people, exposure to more sunlight can help regulate circadian rhythms, improving sleep and overall vitality. 

• Seasonal Allergies & Detoxification - The body naturally shits into detox mode, which can manifest as increased elimination (sweating, digestion, even mild skin breakouts). Spring allergies may also arise due to pollen and environmental changes.

• Fluctuating Appetite & Cravings - As your metabolism adjusts, warmer weather often shifts food preferences from heavy, warming foods to fresh, lighter meals like greens and fruits; listen to what your body needs.

Emotional Effects

• Mood Swings/Emotional Ups & Downs - Spring can evoke a mix of renewal and overwhelm, especially if there’s pressure to “wake up” and be productive.

• Hope & Excitement - The promise of new beginnings can bring feelings of optimism and inspiration.

• Heightened Sensitivity - Just as nature awakens, emotions can feel raw and intensified, especially old wounds or unresolved grief from winter's introspection.

• Increased Social Desire - Many experience a pull toward community, relationships, and outdoor activities.

Spiritual Effects

• Awakening & Rebirth - Many cultures and spiritual traditions see spring as a time of renewal, symbolizing growth, and fresh starts.

• Deeper Connection to Nature - The return of greenery, flowers, and wildlife can rekindle awe, gratitude, and mindfulness. 

• Inspiration & Creativity - Spring's beauty often sparks artistic expression, new ideas, and a desire to create. 

• Purging & Letting Go - Just as nature sheds the old to make way for the new, there's a natural urge to release outdated beliefs, habits, or emotional weight. 

• Increased Desire for Movement - This time of year people often feel more drawn toward getting outside, moving their bodies, yoga, walking, gardening, etc. 

What shifts have you already been noticing within yourself?

What ones have yet to arrive? 

Which shifts do you desire for yourself? 

If you are someone who...

• doesn't like setting New Year's resolutions

• goals just don't make sense to set in January during the middle of winter

• is noticing increased energy and motivation now that spring is here

...check out the next session for a short but powerful intention setting journal ritual!

A Simple Spring Intention-Setting Practice

While January is often seen as the time for resolutions, spring – nature’s season of renewal – may actually be a more natural and sustainable time to set new intentions for the year ahead. With longer days, increased sunlight, improved energy, and a sense of possibility, this is a great time to reflect on what you truly want to cultivate in your life and 

Rather than forcing strict goals, try this gentler approach. Start by journaling:

• Reflect - What feels most alive in you right now? What do you feel drawn to?

• Refine - What’s one small shift that could support growth this season?

• Root - What daily practice or ritual can ground this intention in your life?

Feel free to set 1 intention using these reflect, refine and root journal prompts, or, set several different intentions pertaining to different areas of your life. 

Looking for an embodiment practice to help you feel grounded amidst the mania of spring? We got you!

We are rolling out our new bimonthly newsletters where we will cover a holistic mental health topic in the first one and offer a link to one of our Insight Timer guided meditations (embodiment practices) in the second.

So, stay tuned! Our second newsletter with a spring-themed embodiment practice will be coming to you at the end of March!

Therapist Highlight: Sophia Tornabene

Meet  the marvelous Sophia Tornabene.

Sophia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker originally from Brooklyn, New York who is currently based in Colorado.

Sophia believes that our stories do not define us, but they are a part of us. In many ways she has come to realize that when people feel seen, heard, and valued they are able to fully embrace themselves and show up authentically in all aspects of their lives.

Her therapeutic philosophy is rooted in understanding how your intersecting identities impact the way you think and how you navigate through life and its challenges.

Sophia believes having a warm, supportive, and accepting therapeutic space allows for deeper self-connection, curiosity, and exploration and therefore is essential to healing and growth. Sophia sees you as the expert on your experiences, and it is her role is to meet you where you are and tailor her approach to meet your needs.

Sophia uses a variety of therapy modalities including...

• EMDR

• Parts Work

• Attachment theory
  

Sophia specializes in working with...

• Folks navigating relationships (dating, friendships, familial)

• Young adults & college students

•  People wanting to develop their confidence

• People wanting to overcome people pleasing

• Life Transitions

• Attachment wounds

• Emotional connection and understanding

• Anxiety
  

Sophia as a person↓

• Personality: Heartfelt, wise, down-to-earth & passionate 

• Activities: Pottery, skiing, hiking, and exploring new cities & restaurants

• Travels: Iceland, France, Italy, Nicaragua, & Spain. Visiting Thailand and Tokyo are currently at the top of her bucket list!

• Pets: Two adorable kitties named Zucchini and Zeppole

• Quotes: “We seek connection, predictability, and dependability to root us firmly in place. But we also have a need for change, for the unexpected, for transcendence.” - Esther Perel 

Self-Love Part 3: Embodying Self-Love in Daily Life

Self-love is often spoken about as an abstract concept – something we should aspire to, but unfortunately, it can feel out of reach in the realities of everyday life in our modern world. We might read about it, hear affirmations about it, and even intellectually understand its importance, yet struggle to truly feel it. The challenge isn’t just knowing that self-love matters – it’s embodying it. 

As holistic therapists, we see self-love not as a destination but as a practice, something we intentionally cultivate in big and small ways each day. It’s about shifting from an idea to a lived experience that influences how we care for ourselves, relate to others, and navigate challenges. 

Moving From Concept to Embodied Self-Love

Self-love isn’t just about bubble baths and positive affirmations (although they have their place!). It’s about how we treat ourselves in every moment – how we listen to our needs, how we speak to ourselves internally, and how we honor our well-being. 

To move from concept to embodiment, start by asking:

• If I truly loved myself, how would I show up differently today?

• What would change about the way I make decisions, set boundaries, or rest?

• How can I bring self-love into my body, not just my mind?

Bringing self-love into the body can look like grounding techniques, mindful movement, or even placing a hand on your heart and taking a deep breath when you feel overwhelmed. Small, repeated actions create new patterns of self-relationship. 

Integrating Self-Love Into Relationships, Work & Daily Habits

Self-Love doesn’t exist just because we want it to. We have to actively engage in practices of self-love to begin feeling it and it doesn’t exist in isolation – it extends into every aspect of life. 

Here are practical ways to embody self-love in key areas:

Relationships

• Practice communicating your needs without guilt. Self-love includes believing your feelings and boundaries matter. 

• Notice when you seek external validation and pause. Can you validate yourself first?

• Surround yourself with people who uplift and respect you. Letting go of toxic dynamics is an act of self-love. 

Work & Purpose

• Give yourself permission to take breaks and honor your limits instead of pushing through exhaustion.

• Challenge your inner critic by offering compassionate self-talk and encouragement instead of harsh self-talk

• If possible, align your work with what nourishes you rather than just what’s expected of you

Daily Habits

• Nourish your body with food, movement, and rest that feels good – not just what you “should” do

• Create small moments of joy – listen to music you love, step outside for fresh air, or engage in a creative practice

• Set gentle boundaries with social media or news consumption to protect your energy

If you notice that…

• Guilt continues to come up 

• It’s difficult for you to believe that your feelings and needs matter

• No matter much you validate yourself, you continue to seek external validation

• You’re too afraid let go of one-sided or toxic relationships

• Your inner critic just won’t quit no matter what you try

…these are indicators of having an inner block (unresolved wounding and stress responses) and emotional processing work is needed. 

Handling Setbacks With Self-Compassion

Unfortunately, self-love isn’t always linear. There will be days when doubt, old patterns, or self-criticism creep in. The key is not to use these moments as evidence that you’re failing, but as opportunities to practice self-compassion. 

When setbacks happen:

• Acknowledge your feelings without judgment

• Speak to yourself as you would a dear friend. Would you shame them for struggling, or offer kindness?

• Remember, self-love is a practice, not perfection and not a destination. Each moment is a chance to begin again. Reset as many times as you need to, no one is counting. 

Journal Prompts: Creating Your Personal Self-Love Commitment

Journaling can help anchor self-love in a tangible way. Here are some prompts to explore:

1. What does self-love mean to me, beyond what I’ve been told it “should” be?

2. How do I currently show love to myself? Where do I hold back?

3. What’s one loving thing I can commit to doing for myself daily?

4. What is something I can say to myself (quote, mantra, affirmation) when I face challenges?

5. How can I bring self-love into my body, not just my thoughts?

Self-love is not a finish line – it’s a way of being in relationship with yourself, every single day. The more you practice it in small, meaningful ways, the more it becomes your natural state. 

What’s one self-loving action you can take today? (hint hint, you might have already done it by taking the time to read this blog!)

If you find yourself struggling to integrate these daily self-love practices, we are here for you! We are holistic therapists in Colorado with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you unraveling the patterns that are holding you back from truly embodying self-love. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP! 

Self-Love Part 2: The Somatic Connection – Healing Through the Body

As holistic therapists, we’ve seen firsthand how the body holds onto our unprocessed emotions, unresolved stress, deep-seated patterns of protection or defense, and layers of wounding. Because of our culture, we often get taught to think of healing as something that happens in the mind – through insight, positive thinking, or talking things out. But true healing and transformation must also happen in the body and soul. Our nervous system, muscles, breath and posture all play a role in shaping how we feel about ourselves. This is the somatic connection: the profound way in which healing occurs through the body. 

You can tell you have unresolved pain and wounding being stored in your body when you know you need to relate to yourself with compassion and love, but for some reason you just can’t get yourself to do it…instead your body wins out and you end up continuing the same old patterns of self-criticism, distraction, and shame. 

How Emotions Are Stored in the Body

When we experience emotions, they don’t just disappear if we don’t fully process them. Instead, they get stored in our nervous system, muscles, and fascia. When we suppress anger, grief, or fear, our body adapts by tightening muscles, holding tension, or altering our breathing patterns. Over time, these stored emotions can contribute to chronic pain, fatigue, digestive issues, and a persistent feeling of being disconnected from ourselves. 

One of the most overlooked consequences of unprocessed emotions is their impact on self-worth and self-love. When we carry unresolved pain and stress responses, our nervous system remains on high alert, interpreting the world (and ourselves) through a lens of survival. When we are in survival mode that’s the focus; there isn’t any attention or energy for anything else other than getting through. In this state, self-criticism becomes second nature, we struggle to feel worthy, loveable, or at peace in our own skin and life feels like a continuous struggle. 

 

The Role of Body Awareness in Healing Shame and Self-Criticism 

Shame, like other emotions, is a body-based emotion. It often manifests as a collapsing of the chest and solar plexus, a tightening of the throat, a shrinking inward, and an urge to isolate or hide. Shame is the feeling that “this part of me is not connectable” that “no one wants to know or be with this part of me.” 

When we live in a chronic state of self-criticism, our nervous system reinforces the belief that we are not enough or there’s something wrong with us as we are. Healing this pattern requires more than just changing our thoughts – it requires reconnecting with the body in an energetically compassionate way. 

Developing body awareness is a crucial step in healing shame. When we gently tune into our sensations, we begin to notice where we hold tension and self-protection. Instead of judging our body’s reactions, we can learn to approach them with curiosity and care. By doing this we experientially show our nervous systems and the shameful parts of ourselves that they are deserving of connection, that no emotion, thought, or behavior will cause disconnection or abandonment. This shift allows us to replace self-criticism with self-compassion – an essential foundation for self-love. 

Building New Neural Pathways with Somatic Practices

Somatic practices help us rewire our nervous system and build new patterns of self-connection. Through movement, breathwork, and mindful body awareness, we can build neural networks that support self-compassion instead of self-judgment. 

When we repeatedly engage in practices that signal safety and self-acceptance to the nervous system, our brain forms new pathways. This is neuroplasticity in action – the ability of our brain to change based on our experiences. Over time, the more we embody self-compassion aka live in a kind, accountable, and loving way the more natural it becomes. 

A Somatic Practice for Accessing Self-Compassion: The Self-Love Body Scan

This simple yet powerful body scan helps access self-compassion by guiding you to connect with your body in a gentle, loving way. 

1. Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and begin:

2. Ground Yourself – Feel the support of the surface beneath you. Let your body be held. 

3. Breathe with Intention – Take slow, deep breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. With each breath, imagine softening into yourself. 

4. Scan Your Body with Curiosity – Bring your attention to your feet. Notice any sensations – warmth, tingling, tension. Without judgment, simply observe. Continue scanning up through your legs, torso, arms, and head.

5. Offer Kindness to Each Area – As you move through each part of your body, silently say: “I see you. I honor you. I’m here with you.” If you feel resistance or discomfort, place a gentle hand on that area and breathe into it.

6. End with Gratitude – Place both hands over your heart. Take three slow breaths and whisper (out loud or internally) words of appreciation for who you are (including messy parts!).

Because this practice is experiential (not just about thinking) it helps rewire the nervous system to associate the body with safety, rather than shame or self-judgment. Over time, it nurtures self-compassion and deepens your connection to yourself. 

Healing Through the Body

The mind-body-soul connection reminds us that healing is not just about changing our thoughts – it’s about embodying self-love. If you could think your way through to a more loving relationship with yourself, you would have done it already. When we release stored emotions, bring awareness to our body, and engage in compassionate practices, we transform our relationship with ourselves. We learn that we are not broken – we are carrying unprocessed experiences that are ready to be met with love. True healing happens when we listen to the body, honor its wisdom, and allow ourselves to feel safe, seen, and held within our own being. This is the path to deep, lasting self-love. 

If you’re ready to release the inner blocks that are getting in the way of feeling your self-love,  consider working with us! We are holistic therapists in Colorado with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you unraveling the patterns that are holding you back from truly loving yourself. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP! 

Self-Love Part 1: Understanding Self-Love – More Than Just a Buzzword

Self-love is often marketed as bubble baths, spa days, and positive affirmations. While these can be wonderful acts of self-care, true self-love runs much deeper. It’s not just something we think about or do – it’s something we feel, embody, and integrate into every part of our being. 

As holistic therapists, we see self-love as an ongoing relationship you have with yourself – one that requires patience, awareness, and healing. It’s about how we speak to ourselves in difficult moments, how we honor our needs and limits, and whether we can sit with our pain without judgment. 

But how do we move beyond the idea of self-love and into the felt experience of it? 

The Difference Between Thinking vs. Feeling Self-Love

Many people think they love themselves because they intellectually understand the concept and agree that it’s a “good thing to do”. They might say, “Of course I love myself – I take care of my health, I do things that make me happy.” But self-love isn’t just about what we do; it’s about what we feel energetically and in our bodies. 

True self-love feels like:

• A sense of safety, steadiness and belonging from within yourself

• Gentle warmth in your chest when you acknowledge your worth

• A softening in your body when you meet yourself with compassion

• The ability to experience joy and pleasure without guilt

• A willingness to embrace your imperfections without needing to “fix” them

If these feelings seem distant or fleeting, it may be due to unconscious barriers formed through societal conditioning and past experiences that are blocking your ability to fully receive self-love (we all have these blocks!)

How Conditioning & Past Experiences Block Self Love

From an early age, we absorb messages about our worth or value from family, culture, media, and relationships. Many of us internalize beliefs like:

• “I’m only lovable if I achieve or perform well.”

• “Taking care of myself is selfish.”

• “I have to be perfect to deserve love.”

• “My emotions are too much for other people.”

These subconscious narratives shape how we relate to ourselves. If we’ve experienced ongoing criticism, neglect, or rejection, we may develop an inner voice that mirrors those experiences, making self-love feel unnatural, uncomfortable, or sometimes near impossible.

Healing these barriers requires a holistic approach – one that integrates mind, body, and soul. 

A Holistic Approach to Self-Love: Mind, Body & Soul

To access authentic self-love, we must engage in healing and growth work on all four levels of ourselves:

• Mind - Becoming aware of negative self-talk and shifting it with curiosity rather than force. Instead of “I’m not good enough” try asking, “Where did this belief come from? And, how does having this belief help or protect me?” 

• Body - Noticing how self-love (or lack of it) feels physically. Do you tense up when you receive compliments? Do you numb emotions through distractions? Practices like breathwork, movement, and touch (self-massage, placing a hand on your heart, etc) can help rewire how you experience self-love in your body. 

• Emotion - What are your tendencies when emotion arises? Do you get urges to turn away from it? Does a part of you tell you that emotions are weak and pointless? Do you accept your emotions as part of being human and wait for the crucial messages about your needs to come through? Getting into a practice of meeting emotions with compassion and curiosity can help you gain more access to your core self that exists in a state of calm and compassion i.e. love. 

• Soul- Connecting with something greater than yourself, whether through nature, meditation, creativity, or spiritual practices, can remind you that you are inherently worthy – simply because you exist. You don’t have to do anything or become something else in order to have value, you already do because you are a living, breathing soul.

Reflection Exercise: Identifying Your Barriers to Self-Love

Take a few moments to reflect on the following questions. Journaling your responses can help uncover subconscious blocks and patterns. 

1. What messages did I receive about love and worthiness growing up? What did my family care about most or was valued in my family?

2. How do I speak to myself when I’m struggling or make a mistake?

3. Do I feel comfortable receiving love, praise, or care from others? Why or why not?

4. What emotions arise when I try to practice self-love? Do I feel resistance, guilt or discomfort?

5. If self-love felt natural and easy for me, how would my life be different?

As you explore your responses, notice what emotions or sensations arise in your body. If discomfort comes up, notice where in your body you feel the discomfort and see if you can offer the discomfort kindness and breath rather than pushing it away. Awareness is the first step to change. 

Final Thoughts

Self-love is not a destination but a practice – a way of being with yourself that evolves over time. Some days, it feels effortless; other days, it requires deep inner work. The key is to keep showing up for yourself, with as much gentleness and patience as you would for someone you deeply love. 

Remember, you are already worthy. The healing and growth journey is simply about remembering that truth and removing the inner blocks to believing it. 

If you’re ready to dive deeper into your journey of self-love, consider working with us! We are holistic therapists in Colorado with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you unraveling the patterns that are holding you back from truly loving yourself. You, just as much as anyone else, deserve love and the relationship you have with yourself is the longest relationship you will ever have so it’s worth investing in. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP! 

Find Your Voice: Part 2: Releasing the Freeze and Fawn Responses – Regaining Confidence Through the Body (Copy)

As holistic therapists in Colorado, we often hear the women we work with say, “I just froze. I didn’t do or say anything” and, “”I didn’t agree with them, but I found myself nodding and smiling” followed by feelings of guilt and shame. Whether it’s in a conflict, a moment of fear, or even when faced with an exciting but overwhelming opportunity, freezing and fawning are of the most common stress responses – especially for women. 

Freeze leaves us feeling stuck, unable to act, and disconnected from our power. Fawn, on the other hand, causes us to override our own needs in order to appease others. While these responses were originally designed to keep us safe, they can become habitual patterns that drain our confidence, prevent self-expression and keep us from getting what we need and want. 

The good news? The body holds the key to moving beyond these patterns. In this post, we’ll explore the five stress responses, why freeze and fawn are so common for women, and embodiment techniques to shift from hesitation and people-pleasing into grounded confidence. 

Understanding the Five Stress Responses

The nervous system responds to stress in five primary ways:

1. Fight - The body gears up to confront a threat. You might feel tension, heat, or an urge to vent, argue or defend yourself. 

2. Flight - The body wants to escape. You might feel restless, anxious, or like you need to leave the situation. 

3. Freeze - The body locks up, bracing for impact. You may feel heavy, foggy, numb, or unable to move, speak or get things done.

4. Fawn - The instinct to appease. You might automatically agree, over-apologize, or suppress your needs to maintain harmony. 

5. Flop - A total collapse. You might feel emotionally shut down, disconnected, or physically weak. 

All of these are survival mechanisms, not conscious choices. But when freeze or fawn become our default responses, they can make it difficult to assert boundaries, take action, or trust our instincts. 

Why Freeze and Fawn Are So Common for Women

While anyone can experience any of the stress responses, freeze and fawn tend to be more common in women. The reason for this has some to do with biology, but it’s also deeply social. Patriarchal conditioning shapes how all genders experience safety, power, and expression, influencing everything from workplace culture to relationship dynamics. 

For many women, freezing or fawning isn’t just a reflex – it’s a learned survival strategy. When direct confrontation (fight) or escape (flight) aren’t viable options, the nervous system defaults to the safest remaining choices: staying small (freeze) or appeasing (fawn). 

How Patriarchal Conditioning Reinforces Freeze and Fawn

Patriarchy conditions people into rigid gender roles, where men are expected to be dominant and assertive, while women are often socialized to be accommodating, agreeable, and non-threatening. This messaging starts early and plays out in both personal and professional spaces:

In Work Culture: Power Dynamics and The “Likability Trap”

• Women are often penalized for showing assertiveness or ambition in ways that men are not. 

• Research shows that when women advocate for themselves (higher pay, leadership roles), they’re seen as “difficult” or “aggressive”. This makes fawning – prioritizing relationships, de-escalating tension, and appearing agreeable – the safest response. 

• If a woman speaks up and is ignored or dismissed repeatedly, her nervous system may learn to freeze instead of engaging, believing it’s futile to assert herself. 

In Relationships: Emotional Labor and Boundary Violations

• Many women are raised to prioritize keeping the peace over setting boundaries. Fawning becomes second nature in order to maintain harmony, even at personal cost. 

• In conflict, if a woman has learned that expressing anger leads to backlash, being called “dramatic”, or that her “no” is often ignored, freezing becomes a protective mechanism to endure discomfort or try and keep connection. 

• In situations of coercion or abuse, freezing is a common survival response when fighting or leaving is impossible or creates more risks to safety.

Social Expectations: The Pressure to Be “Good”

• Women are taught that being “nice” is more important than being authentic.

• There’s an expectation to care for others before themselves, making it  harder to recognize their own needs. 

• Being overly accommodating is often rewarded in families, schools, and workplaces, reinforcing fawning as a preferred response. 

How it Hurts Everyone (Not Just Women)

While freeze and fawn are more common in women, patriarchy harms all genders by distorting natural stress responses.

Men are often discouraged from fawning or freezing, pushed instead toward fight/flight as “masculine” reactions. This can suppress emotional intelligence and encourage dominance over collaboration. 

Non-binary and gender-diverse individuals face pressure (and sometimes violence) to conform to either side of these rigid roles, creating even more stress.  

In workplaces, relationships, and communities, the imbalance of power keeps people disconnected from their authentic responses, reinforcing cycles of stress, burnout, and miscommunication. 

Why This Matters for Healing

Understanding that freeze and fawn are conditioned, not just instinctive, allows us to approach healing differently. Instead of blaming ourselves for “not speaking up” or “always people-pleasing” we can recognize that these responses were once intelligent adaptations – and that we can gently unlearn them through body-centered tools that restore a sense of safety and choice.

While these patterns may have helped us in the past, they aren’t serving us in our daily lives now. The key to shifting them is working with the body first, rather than trying to force a mindset change alone.  

By reconnecting with the body and practicing somatic (body-based) techniques that expand our ability to act, express, and set boundaries, we can move beyond the limitations of these conditioned responses. Healing freeze and fawn isn’t about forcing confidence – it’s about creating an internal environment where confidence feels safe. 

Somatic Practices to Release Freeze & Fawn

Both freeze and fawn are states of disempowerment. To shift out of them, we need to reconnect with the body’s felt sense of safety, strength, and presence. 

• Orienting (great first step for freeze)- Look around and actually see if you are in danger, usually the case is “no” so  let your brian and body know there is no life-or-death danger 

• Actually look all around you – look to the right, to the left, behind you, above you, below you, out in front and ask if you are in danger

• Grounding Through the Feet (great for freeze and fawn) - When you feel frozen or overly focused on others, grounding helps you reconnect to yourself. 

• Stand with your feet hip-width apart and press them into the floor

• Imagine roots growing from your feet into the earth. 

• Rock slowly from one foot to the other, feeling the shift in weight. 

• Shake It Off (great for freeze and fawn) - Shaking resets the nervous system and helps release stuck energy (both freeze and fawn responses are driven by over-activated energy). 

• Stand up and shake out your hands, arms, legs, and torso. 

• Imagine shaking off people-pleasing tendencies or moments where you felt stuck. 

• Breathe deeply and let out a sigh or sound as you shake. 

• Power Posing to Reclaim Confidence (great for fawn) - When fawning, the body often becomes smaller – shoulders round, posture shrinks. Power posing expands your presence. 

• Stand tall, feet planted, hands on hips or raised in a “victory” position.

• Breathe deeply, feeling the strength in your stance.

• Hold for two minutes, noticing any shifts in sensation or emotion. 

• Boundary Breathwork (great for fawn) - Fawning disconnects us from our own needs. This breath practice helps reclaim space. 

• Inhale deeply, imagining yourself filling up with energy. 

• Exhale slowly, visualizing an energetic bubble expanding around you. 

• Repeat for 3-5 breaths, reinforcing the feeling of personal space. 

• Tactile Anchoring to Reconnect (great for freeze and fawn) - Touch signals safety to the nervous system. 

• Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly, and breathe deeply. 

• Press your palms together or hug yourself gently. 

• Tap your arms and/or legs rhythmically to bring sensation back. 

Bringing These Practices Into Daily Life

Healing from freeze and fawn isn’t about forcing confidence – it’s about building a sense of safety from within your own body. 

• If you tend to freeze, start with orienting to your surroundings, grounding, then gentle movement. 

• If you tend to fawn, practice power posing and boundary breathwork.

• If you do both, experiment with what feels best in different situations. 

By working with your body, you create new neural pathways of resilience. Over time, you’ll notice that moments of freeze and fawn become shorter, your ability to take action increases, and your confidence feels more natural and embodied. 

The next time you feel yourself freezing or people-pleasing (aka fawning) remember: your body is not betraying you, it’s trying to protect you. By using these techniques you can guide your nervous system back into flow and reclaim your sense of power. Over time, you’ll notice more ease in speaking up, setting boundaries, and trusting your instincts. 

Which of these practices do you want to try? Let us know by reaching out to us as info@bravecounseling.com – we’d be happy to support and guide you in reclaiming your voice and power!

Find Your Voice: Part 3: Embodied Assertiveness – Speaking with Authenticity and Power

Have you ever left a conversation feeling frustrated, unheard, or like you abandoned yourself to keep the peace? Many of us struggle with expressing our needs, setting boundaries, or standing in our truth – especially when emotions run high. The good news? Assertiveness isn’t about being aggressive or dominant; it’s about speaking from an integrated place of self-trust, authenticity, and inner power. 

Embodied assertiveness is the practice of aligning your voice, body, and emotions so that your words carry both clarity and presence. It allows you to speak with honesty while staying connected to yourself and others. In this blog, we’ll explore what healthy, embodied assertiveness looks and feels like, along with practical tools to help you prepare for and navigate difficult conversations – especially in romantic relationships which can often be the hardest to speak up in. 

What Does Healthy, Embodied Assertiveness Feel Like? 

Embodied assertiveness isn’t just about the words you say – it’s about how you feel in your body when you say them. When you communicate assertively, you experience:

• Groundedness - You feel rooted in your body, rather than shaky, disconnected or “in your head”.

• Clarity - Your words come from a deep knowing of your truth, not from reactivity or fear.

• Calm Confidence - You’re not over-explaining or apologizing for your needs. You’re not putting a bubbly spin on things, your voice is your own and your feel settled.

• Open Presence - You stay engaged, breathing fully, and listening as much as you speak. 

In contrast, when we’re passive, we may feel small, tight, or frozen. When we’re aggressive, we may feel tense, rigid, or overpowering. Embodied assertiveness helps us find the middle ground – where we honor ourselves while respecting others. 

Preparing for a Difficult Conversation (Romantically and Emotionally)

Before a big conversation, especially in a romantic relationship, it’s important to prepare both your nervous system and your mindset. Here are some somatic and holistic practices to help you regulate your energy before speaking up:

Ground Yourself in Your Body

• Take a few deep belly breaths to engage your vagus nerve to activate your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest mode). 

• Feel your feet on the ground or place a hand on your heart or grab opposite elbows to anchor yourself. 

• Do a short body scan: Where do you feel tension? Can you soften those areas? 

Regulate Your Emotions

• If you feel anxious, shake out your arms and legs to discharge excess energy. 

• If you feel emotionally flooded, do your best to slow things down for yourself internally by using skills like… 

• “Name it to tame it” 

• Gently separate from the emotion by stating “I am experiencing anger right now” vs. “I’m angry” 

• Place a cool washcloth on your neck to soothe your system, or, hold ice cubes in your hands

• If you feel disconnected, hum or take deep sighs to bring presence back into your body. 

Clarify Your Intention

Ask yourself:

• What do I truly need to express?

• What outcome am I hoping for?

• How do I want to feel during and after this conversation?

Journaling Prompt: What does my body need in order to feel safe and strong while expressing myself?

A Framework for Assertive Communication

When emotions run high, it helps to have a structured way of expressing yourself. The “I feel, I need, I invite” framework ensures that your communication is clear, balanced, non-defensive and non-violent. 

Step 1: Express Your Feelings (without blame)

Instead of: “You never listen to me!”

Try: “I feel unheard when I share something important, and it seems like it’s not acknowledged.”

Step 2: State Your Need Clearly

Instead of: “You need to change how you talk to me!”

Try: “I need to feel that my thoughts and feelings are valued in this relationship.”

Step 3: Offer an Invitation for Connection

Instead of: “You should do better”

Try: “Would you be open to pausing and reflecting back what I’m saying, so I feel heard?”

Role-Playing Scenarios for Practice

While we get that role-playing is not everyone’s favorite, practicing getting your thoughts organized and words out before a conversation can actually make it feel more natural in the moment. Here are a few role-playing scenarios to explore with a friend, therapist, or even by speaking out loud to yourself or trying mirror work. 

Scenario 1: Addressing an Unmet Need

Your partner frequently cancels plans at the last minute. 

(Dysregulated) Passive Response: “It’s fine, I get that you’re busy.” (Even though you’re hurt.)

(Dysregulated) Aggressive Response: “You obviously don’t care about my time at all!”

(Regulated) Assertive Response: “I feel disappointed when our plans get cancelled because I value our time together. I need to feel prioritized in our relationship. Can we find a way to honor our plans more consistently?”

Scenario 2: Setting a Boundary

Your partner raises their voice when they're frustrated. 

(Dysregulated) Passive Response: [thinking] “I’ll just stay quiet so I don’t make it worse.”

(Dysregulated) Aggressive Response: “You’re so rude! You need to stop yelling at me!”

(Regulated) Assertive Response: “When voices are raised, I feel overwhelmed and shut down. I need conversations to stay calm. If we can’t, I’ll need to step away and revisit it later.” 

Journaling Prompts for Deepening Your Assertiveness Practice

1. When was a time I struggled to speak my truth? How did my body feel?

2. What fears come up when I think about being assertive?

3. How would it feel to express my needs unapologetically?

4. What are three things I can do to support myself before a hard conversation?

5. How can I practice embodying confidence and clarity in small ways each day?

Final Thoughts: Owning Your Voice with Compassion

Assertiveness is a practice, not a perfect performance. Each time you express yourself honestly with integrity, you strengthen your connection to your truth and yourself. The more you practice embodied assertiveness – through grounding, emotional regulation, and intentional communication – the more natural it becomes. 

Remember, just like anyone else, you deserve to be heard, to take up space, and you deserve relationships that honor the fully, authentic expression of who you are. 

And…If you’re ready to dive deeper into your assertiveness  journey, we are here for you! We are holistic therapists in Colorado with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you unraveling the patterns that are holding you back from using your voice. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP! 

Find Your Voice: Somatic Tools for Assertiveness and Empowerment

Part 1: Understanding the Barriers to Speaking Up – How Your Body Holds the Story

As holistic therapists in Colorado, we often hear women express frustration about their struggles with assertiveness. And we want you to know you’re not alone. At Brave Embodiment Counseling we provide therapy for women, by women, so many of us therapists also have stories, just like yours, about staying silent in moments when we desperately wanted to speak up. We want you to know that assertiveness struggles aren’t a sign of weakness or failure. They are rooted in deeper stories held by the body and shaped by our experiences, culture, and nervous systems. We also want you to know that it is possible to find your voice and overcome your assertiveness struggles. 

In this blog, we’ll explore some of the most common barriers to speaking up, why these patterns often affect women, and how the mind-body connection can shed light on this challenge. We’ll also end with a simple somatic awareness exercise to help you begin rewriting your body’s story. 

1. Cultural Conditioning: The Social Script to Stay Small

From an early age, many women are subtly (and not-so-subtly) conditioned to prioritize harmony over conflict and others’ needs over their own. Phrases like “be nice”, “don’t be so bossy”, and “don’t be so sensitive” reinforce a belief that assertiveness is unwelcome or unsafe. And that expressing your truth, your emotions and your needs is unwanted. 

Over time, these messages shape how we show up in the world. The nervous system learns to associate speaking up with potential rejection, disapproval, or disconnection which can activate a stress response. Your heart races, your voice shakes, or you freeze entirely. These are not flaws – they’re your body trying to keep you safe within the boundaries of the social script you were taught. 

2. Trauma and the Body’s Protective Mechanisms

For many women, past trauma – whether from a specific event or ongoing oppression and micro-agressions – can deeply impact their ability to advocate for themselves. Trauma, particularly if it involves a history of not being heard or valued, can cause the body to enter survival mode of fight, flight, freeze, fawn or flop when needing to speak up or be assertive. 

For example, if speaking up in the past led to punishment, emotional harm, or physical harm, your nervous system may learn to shut down your voice as a way to avoid danger. Even years later, that response can remain locked in the body, causing you to feel physically unable to say what you need or want (i.e. tightness in the chest, constriction in the throat, clenched jaw, etc.).

3. Fear of Rejection or Conflict

The human nervous system is wired for connection – it’s how we’ve survived as a species. This means that rejection, perceived or real, can feel deeply threatening to our sense for safety and belonging. 

For women especially, the fear of being labeled as “too much” or “too difficult” can loom large. Even when the logical part of your brain knows it’s okay to ask for what you need, your body may respond as if rejection is a life-or-death threat. Sweaty palms, a racing heart, or a lump in the throat are all signs that your body is bracing for potential disconnection. 

4. The Nervous System: A Key Player in Assertiveness

The nervous system plays a central role in your ability to speak up. When you perceive a situation as safe, your parasympathetic nervous system (rest-and-digest mode) allows you to access calm, clear thinking. But if your nervous system detects a threat – whether physical or emotional – it can shift into survival mode, making it much harder to assert yourself. 

For example, you might find your throat tightening (a sign of the freeze response) or feel an overwhelming urge to stay quiet (a fawn response). These reactions aren’t “just in your head”. They are physiological responses your body has learned to keep you safe. Understanding this connection is a powerful step toward reclaiming your voice. 

A Somatic Awareness Exercise to Support Assertiveness

Reconnecting with your body and learning how to work its stress responses is key to overcoming barriers to assertiveness. This simple exercise can help you begin building awareness of how your body reacts in moments requiring you to speak up.

The Ground-and-Sense Exercise

1. Find a Quiet Space: Sit in a comfortable position with your feet flat on the ground. Close your eyes if it feels okay, if not, just hold a soft downward gaze 2-3 feet in front of you. 

2. Notice Your Breath: Take a few slow, deep breaths. Feel your belly rise and fall.

3. Recall a Recent Situation: Let your mind go and allow it bring you a time when you wanted to speak up but struggled. Watch this memory through like a little mental movie in your mind’s eye from beginning to end. Do your best to observe with gentleness and curiosity.

4. Scan Your Body: As you watch this memory, where do you feel tension or discomfort in your body? Perhaps your chest feels tight, your stomach churns, or your throat feels blocked.

5. Stay Curious: Instead of judging the sensation, bring curiosity to it. What might this part of your body be trying to communicate? What message does it have for you?

6. Anchor in Safety: Press your feet into the ground or place a hand on your heart. Remind yourself, “In this moment, I am safe.”

By practicing this exercise regularly, you can begin to recognize your body’s signals and learn to work with them instead of against them. For more information and guidance on how to work with your body’s stress responses stay tuned in this blog series or reach out to us! 

Closing Thoughts

Speaking up is not just a mental decision – it’s a whole-body experience, so try not to be too hard on yourself, you are not choosing to have your body go into protective mode. While you know what you need and want to do in various situations, your nervous system has not yet learned that you’ll be safe if you do so. When we understand the cultural, emotional, and physiological factors at play, we can approach the challenge of assertiveness with compassion and curiosity. Your voice matters, and so does the process of reclaiming it. 

If you’re ready to dive deeper into this journey, consider working with us! We are holistic therapists in Colorado with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you unraveling the patterns that are holding you back from using your voice. You, just as much as anyone else, deserve to speak your truth with confidence! Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

Energy and Boundaries Series: Protect, Restore, and Thrive. Part 3: “Replenishing Your Energy: Restorative Practices for Daily Life”

Part 3: “Replenishing Your Energy: Restorative Practices for Daily Life”

As holistic therapists, we’ve seen firsthand (not only in the clients we work with but also in ourselves) how the demands of modern life can leave us feeling drained, scattered, and disconnected from ourselves. True restoration goes beyond just taking a vacation, getting enough sleep or changing jobs – it’s about cultivating practices that nourish the body, mind, and spirit. In this blog, we will explore restorative approaches and daily practices that can help you replenish your energy on a deeper level. Practices that address the emotional, physical, and spiritual toll that boundary struggles have taken on you. Whether you’re navigating stress, low energy, or emotional overwhelm, these tools will empower you to create a sustainable rhythm of renewal, so you can feel grounded, vibrant, and fully present in your daily life. Let’s discover what it means to truly restore from the inside out.

• Understand Your Energy Drains

When you live without clear boundaries, your nervous system often operates in a state of hypervigilance. This constant state of “giving” depletes your energy reserves, leaving you emotionally, physically and spiritually exhausted. Healing begins with self-awareness, acknowledging where you’ve been overextending and recognizing that it’s okay to prioritize yourself. 

• Practice Grounding Rituals

Unresolved pain, psychological wounds and trauma causes disembodiment which grounding practices can help with. Grounding brings you back to the present moment and helps you feel anchored in your own energy. 

• Morning Grounding Exercise: Try starting your day with a physical grounding practice of your choice. This could be something simple like starting your day by getting into and feeling your body via some stretching, or it might be listening to guided meditation focused on physical grounding, or perhaps it’s attending a yoga class before heading into the rest of your day.

• Breathwork:Try box breathing (inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 4, exhaling for 4, holding for 4 - repeat for 1-5 minutes) to balance your nervous system and reset your mind. 

• Create an Energetic Boundary Practice

Boundaries aren’t just verbal; they’re energetic, too. Learn to tune into and feel your own energy, and when needed, use visualization and body-based tools to protect your energy.

• In the Moment: Connect your spine to the back the chair your sitting on (literally lean back), imagine a glass wall or window screen in front of you that filters out the yuck and lets in the goodness, hold a pillow in front of you or cross your arms to protect your vulnerable, tender front body 

• Daily Visualization: Imagine a golden bubble of light surrounding you, acting as a shield against draining energies . Set the intention or repeat the mantra: “I choose to give from overflow, not depletion.”

• Guided Meditation: Search for and find a recording of an energy clearing meditation and use this daily or as needed. 

• Cultivate Restorative Movement

Your body holds the tension and stress of unmet needs and overriding boundaries. Gentle, somatic practices can help release this energy. It is also incredibly healing to find a daily embodiment practice where the aim of the movement is to connect to your body, be present with yourself and move in a way that feels good or releasing. 

• Yoga for Boundaries: Focus on heart-opening poses (like child’s pose, puppy pose, fish, camel pose) to release guilt, and grounding poses (like tree, mountain, table top) to build inner stability. 

• Somatic Shaking: Stand with your feet hip-width apart, shake your arms, legs, and torso gently for 2-3 minutes. This practice helps discharge pent up stress. 

• Supportive Connection- Prioritize and spend your time in relationships that are affirming, safe and supportive. You’ll be able to notice these relationships because you will feel understood, safe to share openly, uplifted and possibly even energized afterwards. 

• Compassionate Boundary Setting - These affirming relationships are often the best place to start practicing compassionate boundary setting. Remember, boundaries don’t have to be harsh. For example, you can say, “I’d love to help, but I’m at capacity right now,” or “I need some time to recharge.”

• Declutter Your Life - Clear out physical clutter and say goodbye to obligations or relationships that no longer serve you.

• Prioritize Emotional Processing

When you’ve been people-pleasing for years and not setting boundaries, repressed emotions – anger, sadness, resentment – build up. These emotions are the messengers of your needs that got dismissed, overridden and ignored. It’s important to recognize that the exhaustion you’re experiencing doesn’t only stem from over-extending and over-giving, it also stems from years of emotional and psychological needs going unmet. Finally, being present to receive the needs these messengers (emotions) were trying to bring you and then releasing these emotions by meeting your emotional and psychological needs is crucial for healing. 

• Therapy or Coaching: Work with a therapist or coach to reconnect and re-embody so you are there to receive your emotions. Heal unresolved wounds and shift protective patterns that keep you stuck in a cycle of depletion.

• Journaling: This doesn’t have to be polished or professional, bullet points are completely okay – make it as easy as possible for yourself! Getting into a weekly or daily practice of tuning into yourself and writing down what you are thinking and feeling is a powerful way to build connection with yourself, understand yourself better and therefore give yourself opportunities to receive and meet your needs.

• Nourish Your Body

Boundary struggles often leave us disconnected from self-care. Replenish your energy by…

• Nutrition & Hydration: No, not with weight loss as the focus but with true nourishment as the focus – think vitamins, minerals, nutrients, drink roughly half your body weight in ounces of water, electrolytes, etc.

• Nature Connection: Spending time in and connection with nature is another great way to nourish your mind, body and spirit because humans are part of nature and spending time in it can help reconnect you to your own rhythms. 

• Body Work: This depletion is not just taking place emotionally and mentally. Your body is the vessel through which you experience life, so tending to your body is key in healing from the toll boundary struggles have taken on you. Take regular warm showers or baths, prioritize spending your money on massages, craniosacral therapy, reiki, acupuncture and/or aromatherapy.

• Rest

Rest is essential after living in overdrive for decades. Remember, rest is not just about sleep; it’s about international stillness and restoration so the nervous system can relax back to a balanced, homeostatic state for extended periods of time. 

• Daily Mini-Retreat: Dedicate 10-15 minutes to quiet time/alone time, free from screens or interruptions. This could be meditation, sitting with a cup of tea, or simply staring out a window. 

• Evening Ritual: Create a calming bedtime routine that you practice every evening around the same time. This routine will signal to your brain and body that it’s time to wind down, let go and sleep. 

• Seek Support

Healing from boundary struggles often requires a supportive community or therapist who can guide you in reprogramming these patterns.

• Therapeutic Support:  While traditional talk therapy has its purpose, many people often need more experiential forms of therapy to help them process the deeper wounds that contributed to boundary challenges which then led to deep depletion or burnout. Modalities like EMDR, somatic psychotherapy, IFS and art therapy are supportive methods to healing the nervous system and releasing old, deeply ingrained patterns of behavior. 

• Community: Because we are social beings, healing also needs to happen within a collective atmosphere. While individual healing is great, you’ll notice that your inner system also needs to experience safety and support in a group. Join groups or workshops focused on healthy communication, connection and healing. 

• Celebrate Your Wins

Each step toward setting and maintaining boundaries is an act of self-love. Celebrate small wins, like saying “no” to something you didn’t want to do or carving out 30 minutes for yourself. Even though this might seem silly or childish to a part of you, celebrating the wins along the way can add to your motivation to keep going and help you get in touch with the progress you’re making which feels energizing. 

• Reflect and Reassess

Healing isn’t linear. There will be some steps forward, then some to the side, perhaps a couple backwards, followed by many steps forward, followed by a much needed break. As you begin to replenish your energy, take time to reflect on how you feel and adjust your practices as needed. What was once needed at one point in your healing and growth journey, may no longer be needed at this point in your healing and growth journey. Remember, boundaries are living, breathing things – they evolve as you do. 

A Final Word

Replenishing your energy after decades of boundary struggles is a journey of self-discovery, reclamation and self-love. It’s a commitment to showing up for yourself, recognizing your limits, and embracing practices that align with your whole being – body, mind, and spirit. The journey to restoration is deeply personal, but it’s also universal in its importance. By weaving these restorative practices into your life, you are not only healing from exhaustion but also rebuilding your energy reserves, establishing stronger, healthier boundaries, which allows you to cultivate a sustainable foundation for vitality, joy, and resilience. 

So, yes, it really is possible to thrive again as an adult. Remember, your energy is your most precious resource – honor it, protect it, and let it guide you toward a life of balance and fulfillment.

Energy and Boundaries Series: Protect, Restore, and Thrive. Part 2: “Setting Boundaries with Compassion and Clarity”

Part 2: “Setting Boundaries with Compassion and Clarity”

As holistic therapists, we’ve seen time and time again how setting boundaries transforms lives.

We’ve also seen time and again just how many of us struggle with boundaries to the point of believing we are “bad at boundaries”. 

If that’s you, that’s okay and you are not alone. There are many factors that contribute to struggling with boundaries. Once you can build some insight into why boundaries are such a struggle for you, it’s easier to have compassion for yourself instead of judging and shaming yourself for being “bad at boundaries”. 

In this blog we will define what boundaries are and common myths about boundaries, why many of us tend to struggle to set and maintain boundaries, why boundaries are essential for wellness and how to set boundaries with compassion and clarity. 

So, What Are Boundaries?

Boundaries are more than just limits – they’re essential tools for protecting our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Boundaries are simply what’s okay with you and what’s not okay with you. Boundaries are something we set with ourselves and with others. They define where we end and others begin – the point at which you can love yourself and others simultaneously – allowing us to show up authentically in our relationships while honoring our own needs. 

Boundaries are what YOU will do, not what you ask others to do. Even though some of our boundaries may start with a request from someone else, we ultimately do not have control over what that other person will choose to do. They may choose to listen to you and respect your request, or, they may not. This is why it is crucial to understand that boundaries are not what you ask others to do, boundaries are what you will do. 

Examples:

• You: “Please stop talking about politics, let’s talk about something else.”

• Other Person: “Ok yeah, no problem” 

Or….

• You: “Please stop talking about politics, let’s talk about something else.”

• Other Person: (mocking tone) “Uh oh…someone’s getting uncomfortable because they know they’re wrong!” (continues talking about politics)

Or…

• You: “If you continue to talk about politics, I am going to go for a walk.”

• Other Person: (rolls their eyes, continues talking about politics)

• You: (gets up and goes for a walk protecting your energy and emotional safety)

Common Myths About Boundaries

A major factor contributing to the boundary-setting struggle is the widespread belief in common myths about boundaries, which create confusion and guilt. By understanding the truths behind these misconceptions, you can approach boundary-setting with more confidence and clarity. Here are five common myths about boundaries and why they’re not true:

• Myth: “Setting boundaries is selfish.”

• Truth: Boundaries are not about being selfish but about self-care and respecting your own limits. They help protect you so you can meet your needs and feel safe, which allows you to show up more fully in your own life and for others.

• Myth: “Boundaries push people away.” 

• Truth: Boundaries often strengthen relationships because they promote clarity, trust, and mutual respect. People who value you will respect your limits, and it’s often helpful for those you’re in relationships to know with clarity what’s okay with you and what isn’t, instead of having to guess.

• Myth: “You only need to set boundaries with toxic people.”

• Truth: Boundaries are essential in all relationships, not just with challenging individuals. They help you maintain balance and ensure your needs are met even in healthy relationships.

• Myth: “Once you set a boundary, it’s permanent.”

• Truth:Boundaries can and should evolve as circumstances, relationships, and personal needs change. Flexibility is a sign of healthy boundary-setting. 

• Myth: “If someone gets upset, your boundary is wrong.”

• Truth: People may resist boundaries at first, especially if they’ve benefitted from you not having them. Others’ reactions don’t determine the validity of your boundaries. 

Why We Struggle to Set Boundaries

Boundary-setting is a vital skill for emotional health and overall wellness, yet many people find it deeply uncomfortable or even impossible. From a holistic perspective, these struggles are often rooted in a combination of personal history, societal influences, and cultural conditioning. Understanding these origins can be a powerful first step in reclaiming your right to set boundaries.

1. Attachment Wounding - Early attachment patterns shape how we relate to others and our own selves throughout life. If you grew up in an environment where your emotional needs were dismissed, or were made to feel responsible for others’ feelings, you may have learned that setting boundaries risks rejection or disconnection. This fear can persist due to these experiences happening early on and shaping your neural pathways, making it challenging to assert your needs as an adult.

2. Past Trauma - Trauma disrupts your sense of safety and can make you hyperaware of others’ needs while neglecting your own. People-pleasing or avoiding conflict may become survival strategies, reinforcing the belief that boundaries lead to danger or abandonment. 

3. Cultural Conditioning - Growing up in a patriarchal culture often teaches people that it’s not okay to express needs and set boundaries. In patriarchal cultures women get taught that their value lies in selflessness and accommodation, men get taught to be the protector and provider which often means overriding their own needs and boundaries,, and folks that don’t identify within the gender binary get taught that they are wrong, bad, gross, shouldn’t exist etc. and are therefore undeserving of having needs and boundaries. Saying “no” or expressing limits may feel like defiance against deeply ingrained norms, leading to guilt, shame or being ostracized. 

4. Family Dynamics - If you grew up in a family where boundaries were either rigid and punitive or entirely absent, you may struggle to identify and enforce healthy limits. Enmeshed family systems, where individual needs are sacrificed for the group, can also erode a sense of autonomy. 

5. Fear of Conflict - Many people associate boundaries with confrontation, and if conflict was unsafe or unresolved in your past, you may avoid it at all costs. This can lead to overextending yourself or allowing others to cross your limits. 

6. Lack of Role Models - Without examples of health boundary-setting, it’s difficult to develop this skill. Many people enter adulthood with no framework for recognizing, communicating, or maintaining their own limits. 

This is not an exhaustive list of root causes, but some common ones, and by exploring your own root causes you can begin to dismantle the internal and external barriers to setting boundaries. Holistic approaches like mindfulness, somatic practices, and inner child work can help you reconnect with your needs and reclaim your sense of agency. Setting boundaries is not about creating walls – it’s about building pathways to deeper, healthier connections with yourself and others. 

Why Boundaries Are Essential for Wellness

1. Preserve Energy - Without boundaries, we risk pouring our energy into people or situations that deplete us, leaving little left for ourselves. Healthy boundaries help us conserve our resources for what truly matters. 

2. Enhance Emotional Health - Boundaries reduce stress, resentment, and burnout by creating clear expectations in relationships. They also foster self-respect and confidence. 

3. Improve Physical Health - Chronic stress from poor boundaries can manifest as physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches, or weakened immunity. By reducing stress, boundaries support overall physical well-being. 

4. Strengthen Relationships - Clear boundaries create healthier dynamics by fostering mutual respect and understanding. They also help us navigate conflict more effectively. 

How to Set Boundaries with Compassion and Clarity

Setting boundaries can feel daunting, considering the number of experiences most of us have had with not being allowed to or shown how to set boundaries, but it doesn’t have to remain daunting. Here’s a step by step guide:

• Identify Your Needs

• Reflect on areas where you feel drained, overwhelmed, or resentful. These feelings often signal the need for a boundary.

• Ask yourself: What do I need to feel safe, respected, or supported in this situation?

• Get Clear on Your Limits

• Decide what’s okay and what’s not. For example, you might limit work emails after a certain hour or decline last-minute requests for help. 

• Be honest with yourself about your capacity and values. 

• **Due to past trauma, attachment injuries and internalized patriarchy many people in our society become disembodied and therefore disconnected from their core self. When this happens it can be quite difficult to know and sense what your actual capacity is, therefore before you can get clear on your limits you may need to do some healing work that involves reconnecting yourself and body.

• Choose Compassionate Language

• Use “I” statements to express your needs without blaming others. 

• Example: Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try, “I feel unheard when I don’t have a chance to share my perspective” 

• Practice phrasing that is firm, yet kind

• Examples: “I need time to think about that before I commit” or, “I’d love to help, but I don’t have the capacity right now.” 

• Communicate Clearly and Calmly

• Pick the right time to have the conversation – ideally, when both parties are calm and open. 

• Be direct but gentle. Avoid over-explaining or apologizing excessively. 

• Hold Your Ground with Love

• Some people may push back or test your boundaries, especially if they’re used to you being overly accommodating. 

• Stay firm while remaining compassionate:

• Example: “I understand this is frustrating, but this boundary is important for my well-being.”

• Reinforce Your Boundaries

• Consistency is key. Follow through with your limits to show others that you mean what you say. Not to mention, people forget. It’s normal to have to communicate your boundaries multiple times to others. 

• However, if someone repeatedly disregards your boundaries after you’ve communicated them multiple times, it may be necessary to reassess the relationship. Reassessing might mean you need to have more distance in this relationship or perhaps the relationship needs to end. 

• Practice Self-Compassion

• Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable, especially at first. Be kind to yourself as you navigate this process.

• It’s okay to start practicing in small, low-risk situations (like sending your drink back at a coffee shop that has a guarantee to get it right) and work your way up to setting boundaries within your familial or more challenging relationships. 

Final Thoughts

When you set boundaries, you’re not just protecting yourself – you’re modeling self-respect and healthy dynamics for others. Over time, this creates a ripple effect that improves not only your well-being but also your relationships and community. 

Setting boundaries is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself and others. It’s a practice rooted in self-awareness, compassion, and courage. As you begin setting boundaries, remember: your well-being, just as much as anyone else’s, is worth protecting.

If you’d like some compassionate, highly-skilled support in uncovering the roots of your boundary-struggles, or guidance on how to set loving boundaries with yourself and others — we got you! Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner or our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch with you ASAP!

Energy and Boundaries Series: Protect, Restore, and Thrive. Part 1: “Energy Drainers: Recognizing What’s Draining Your Emotional Reserves”

Part 1: “Energy Drainers: Recognizing What’s Draining Your Emotional Reserves”

Do you feel tired all the time?

Have you been convinced that’s just what adulthood is? 

If so, you are NOT alone. 

The reality is, there are MANY factors that contribute to feeling drained, tired all the time and/or chronic fatigue. 

As holistic therapists, we often see people feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or stuck, unable to pinpoint why they’re running on empty. While physical fatigue can be easy to recognize, emotional and energetic exhaustion often flies under the radar until it takes a toll on our relationships, mental health, and our physical well-being. Often, emotional and energetic exhaustion gets missed until it has to manifest physically in our bodies – symptoms like headaches, digestive issues, TMJ, weakened immune system, adrenal fatigue, autoimmune conditions – in order to get our attention. 

This silent depletion often stems from “energy drainers” – people, situations, habits, unresolved emotional wounding, oppressive societal systems – that unconsciously zap our emotional and energetic reserves. 

So, no. Being an adult doesn’t have to mean feeling drained all the time, even though our culture has convinced us that this is normal. Here’s the truth: instead of feeling tired all the time, you could be thriving! 

Learning to recognize these drainers and setting loving but firm boundaries is essential for preserving your energy and thriving in life vs. just getting by.  

What Are Energy Drainers?

Energy drainers are anything that pull from your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual reserves without replenishing them. They often leave you feeling tired, irritable, or resentful. These can show up in various forms: 

• Relationships

• People who consistently take without giving – chronic complainers, people with negative mindsets, folks who are chronically dissatisfied, or those who don’t respect your boundaries

• One-sided dynamics that leave you feeling unheard or undervalued

• Emotionally immature people who don’t have the self-awareness or skills to regulate and take responsibility for their own emotions and the trajectory of their lives. 

• Folks that are chronically dysregulated, also referred to in our society as “dramatic”– these folks tend to always have some sort of conflict, chaos, or crisis going on and pull you into their issues unnecessarily

• People with little to no emotional availability so they are unable to provide emotional connection or support when you need it 

• Environments

• Cluttered spaces or chaotic settings that create mental noise

• Workplaces or communities that stifle your authenticity or creativity (micromanaging supervisors, unclear expectations, lack of appreciation, etc.)

• Living in and navigating an oppressive, patriarchal society (*cough* all of us are doing this *cough*)

• Noisy, poorly lit, overly crowded spaces with stale or polluted air 

• Overly competitive settings where you feel constantly compared to others or pressured to perform

• Spaces that are disconnected from nature like some urban spaces devoid of greenery, fresh air or natural beauty 

• Behaviors/Habits/Tendencies

• Overcommitting yourself – saying yes when you want to say no, taking on too many projects or responsibilities without truly having the time, space or energy to put towards these

• Mindless scrolling, overconsumption of media, or other distractions that disconnect you from yourself

• Poor sleep hygiene – inconsistent sleep schedules or lack of quality sleep

• Skipping meals or poor diet – not fueling your body with nutrient dense foods and plenty of water

• Lack of boundaries – allowing others to monopolize your time or emotional energy, or not sticking to the boundaries you set and need for yourself

• Internal Patterns

• Emotional and energetic dysregulation causing over or under activation of your autonomic nervous system therefore zapping your energy. This can look like:

• Negative, critical self-talk 

• Perfectionism and overthinking

• People-pleasing

• Avoidance or shutting down

• Anxiety and depression

• Passive aggression

• Venting, blaming self or others

• Getting flooded by your emotions, unable to turn down the volume on them or unable to create healthy separation from them

• Unresolved emotional wounds that keep you stuck in these old patterns – these emotional wounds typically stem from past attachment injuries, stressful and painful experiences, and trauma

The Importance of Boundaries

Metaphorically speaking, boundaries are the energetic fences that protect your inner garden. Without them, even the most grounded person can feel uprooted by the demands of others or their environment. 

Healthy boundaries allow you to: 

• Conserve your energy for what truly matters to you

• Create space for self-care and personal growth

• Cultivate healthy relationships that nourish rather than deplete you

How to Identify Your Energy Drainers:

1. Body - Your body is often the first to alert you when something isn’t right. Pay attention to…

1. Tension or discomfort: Shallow/shaky breathing, tightness in your chest, clenched jaw, tension in the eyebrows and shoulders, fatigue, headache, etc.

2. Sleep Disturbances: Are certain habits or stressors affecting your sleep quality?

3. Fatigue Patterns: Notice when you feel unusually sluggish. Is it after certain foods? Activities? Interactions? 

2. Emotion - Notice how you feel after interactions or activities. Do you feel lighter and more uplifted, or drained and resentful?

1. Mood shifts: Observe if certain interactions, tasks or activities leave you feeling irritable, anxious, or overwhelmed

2. Lack of enthusiasm: Tasks, environments, or people that consistently feel dull or demotivating might be draining your energy.

3. Unease or dread: Pay attention to situations that evoke the urge to avoid it or fill your inner system with unease. 

3. Time and Energy Tracking - Keep a log of how you feel before and after events, tasks, conversations, or time spent with others. Patterns will start to emerge that point to your biggest energy drainers. 

1. Journaling: Keep a daily log of how you feel throughout the day and note patterns of feeling drained.

2. Energy audit: Create a list of activities, people, and commitments and mark them as energy-giving or energy-draining based on your feelings before, during, and after. 

4. Mental and Behavioral - Pay attention to what your head space is like and what behaviors you notice yourself engaging in. 

1. Difficulty focusing: Notice when you find it hard to concentrate or when you feel mentally scattered, especially after spending time with certain people, on certain activities or platforms (ex: social media)

2. Ruminating thoughts: Track situations or triggers that cause you to overthink or replay events in your mind

3. Habits: Are activities like procrastination, scrolling on social media, or skipping meals contributing to giving you energy or draining your energy?

4. Overcommitting: Are you saying “yes” to things out of fear/guilt/obligation, or out of love and genuine interest? 

5. Test by Elimination - After some time spent tuned into your body, emotions, energy and mental experiences, take a break from a specific habit, environment, or relationship for a set period of time. See what happens to your energy during and after this break. 

Closing Thoughts 

As holistic therapists we hold that your energy is your most precious resource. Training it with the same care you’d give your physical health is a transformative act of self-love. By recognizing and addressing energy drainers, you create space for joy, growth, and meaningful connection. 

Remember, where your attention goes your energy flows but you have the power to decide where your attention goes. Choose wisely, and you’ll find yourself with more than enough to thrive. 

If you’ve tried identifying your energy drainers before but got stuck, or, if you’d like some compassionate, objective support and guidance in this process - we got you! Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner or our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch with you ASAP!

Easing into the New Year

Hello Brave Community! 

♡ Lovely to meet you here in 2025 ♡

The holidays are behind us – some people are thinking, “thank goodness!” and are feeling relieved, while others may be feeling the holiday come down that follows joyous, celebratory times. Whatever you’re feeling following the holidays, it’s valid. 

As we settle into January, many of us may feel a mix of exhaustion and hope. While the new calendar year can bring an energy of excitement, it’s important to honor how you are feeling right now – especially in the heart of winter. 

The winter season encourages rest, reflection, and preservation, not necessarily big leaps or new beginnings. We are smack dab in the middle of the season of dormancy and restoration, so if setting goals or intentions feels overwhelming, give yourself permission to wait. 

As the days lengthen and energy naturally shifts in the spring, you may find that to be the perfect time to embrace growth and new directions. Even though as humans we have common, connecting threads, it’s important to remember our individual differences and just because it’s a new calendar year doesn’t automatically mean you’ll feel rested and restored and ready to set goals.

For now, let’s focus on nurturing ourselves following the holidays and stepping into the year with intention and gentleness. 

Section 2: Body & Soul Goals for 2025

Instead of starting the year with an exhaustive list of intellectual goals that you’re not actually connected to, we encourage you to consider tuning into your body and soul. Body and soul goals are about deep alignment, rather than external achievement. 

When we set goals from an intellectual or analytical place we feel disconnected from... 

• Our bodies

• OurSELVES, and 

• Those goals 

...which fills us with dread instead of curiosity and inspiration. 

You’ll be able to tell you are setting intellectual goals because you will find yourself thinking your way through the process instead of feeling your way through.

Intellectual goals often bring up a lot of yuck and resistance because they focus on what we *think* we should be doing or what we *think* we should want based on messaging and pressures from outside sources. It can be hard to get excited about intellectual goals because we usually aren't deeply connected to them on a soul level. 

When we infuse the goal-setting process with a focus on body and soul, we create a more visceral and heartfelt connection to our aspirations for the year ahead. As humans, the more connected we feel to something the more we want to dedicate our time and energy to it. You'll know you're setting body and soul goals because you'll feel drawn to them...you'll feel a literal inner tug toward whatever it is that is speaking to your soul.

Curious to give body and soul goals a try?! Check out the steps below for a completely different and POWERFUL approach to goal setting.

How to Set Body and Soul Goals:

1. Tune In: Take the time you need to center yourself in your body and notice your breath. Let go of any effort or tension that is not needed right now. 

2. Reflect Sensationally: Instead of analyzing, feel into your experiences of the past year. Pay attention to emotions, sensations, imagery, your felt sense and any visceral reactions that come through your inner system.

3. Body & Soul Goals: Using the feedback from step 2, let your mind go and let it bring intentions or areas of focus for 2025. Do your best to focus on how, whatever comes to you, makes you feel physically and emotionally.

4. Prioritize Joy: Identify goals that bring a sense of joy or fulfillment. Notice how focusing on these areas feels in your body - Do you notice sensations of warmth, inspiration, spaciousness...?

5. Empowering Language: As you start writing down and to putting words to what you're sensing and feeling in your body for your 2025 goals, do your best to use empowering language. Instead of saying "I want to stop filling every minute of my calendar" say, "I want to feel grounded and energized."

6. Movement Check: Now that you have some words written down, stand up, move around, and notice how your body responds. Do these goals feel constricting or expansive? Use the physical feedback to guide your goal-setting (you may need to adjust a few things)

7. Embodied Visualization: Picture yourself reaching your goals. Allow yourself to really feel and be with the energy and emotion in your body as you visualize success. 

8. Dance it Out: We know this one may seem strange, but seriously, give it a try! Literally dance to the rhythm of your goals. Let your body express the energy associated with reaching them.

9. Listen to your Intuition: Trust that gentle, nudging voice in the background. If something feels off or disconnected, reassess whether it truly aligns with your authentic self.

10. Express Gratitude: End your goal setting process by expressing gratitude for your body and the experiences it carries and has carried you through.

And…if you find yourself wanting or needing support in getting clear on and connected to your body and soul goals – we got you! Just email us at info@bravecounseling.com and we will be in touch with you ASAP to set up a free consultation! 

Section 3: Reintroducing Our Therapy Practice

You may be someone who has been part of our Brave Community for a while now, or, you may be new. Either way, welcome! We are seriously SO  glad that you’re here!!

We are Brave Embodiment Counseling, a small group practice made up of 15 therapists based out of Denver, CO. Kim Massale, the founder and owner of Brave Embodiment Counseling, opened the practice in 2018 with a dream of supporting the women of Denver in stepping more fully into their power and magic.

6 + years later, the core of our mission is the same: We support and guide the people of Colorado, using creative and powerful methodologies, to move beyond just insight into tangible change and a life with more ease and energy.

We are trained in the most cutting edge + alternative, trauma and attachment informed techniques to support you in accelerating your healing + growth process, so you don’t waste your precious time, money or energy.

We specialize in helping folks with…

• Unresolved trauma

• Attachment wounds

• Dating Support

• Internalized patriarchy

• Societal programming

• Religious trauma

In other words, we empower people to heal and break free from the limiting beliefs that are keeping them stuck and feeling small.

Currently, we offer virtual services that include:

• Individual Therapy (DBT, CBT, ACT, Art Therapy, EMDR, IFS, Inner Child Healing, Parts Work, Somatic Psychotherapy)

• Couples Therapy 

• Spiritual Guidance

• Clinical Supervision

• Private Practice Building

Rates & Insurance:

We currently accept… 

• Denver County (CO Access) Medicaid 

• Out of pocket/private pay

We do not participate or submit claims for other types of insurance aside from Medicaid. We do not accept Medicare. 

Each therapist has a set out-of-pocket, private pay rate which is listed on their individual bio page on our website. 

You may be able to obtain insurance reimbursement for sessions if you have an insurance plan that has out-of-network benefits. See our website for instructions on how to check and see if you have out-of-network benefits with your insurance company. 

Final Thoughts:

Simply put, we love you and we want you to have your dream life because you deserve it, and we understand the powerful ripple effect of people who are in love with their lives.

January is one of the busiest times of the year for therapy because many people set new years resolutions to “go to therapy” and are eager to begin their healing journeys. If you’ve been thinking about starting therapy, now is the time to act! 

We offer FREE 30-45 minute consultations, but our therapist’s schedules are filling up quickly. Reach out today to secure your spot and take the first step toward feeling supported, heard, and empowered in 2025. 

♡ Warm wishes for a gentle, grounded start to the new year ♡

Building Emotional Resilience: Tools for Managing and Embracing All Emotions

As holistic therapists, we believe that emotions are not just fleeting feelings – they’re powerful messengers from our inner worlds. Rather than pushing them down (suppression), looking the other way (avoidance), or trying to control them, we can actually learn to regulate, manage, and embrace our emotions as part of a balanced life. 

Check out our list below to learn how to approach emotions with compassion and curiosity, while also using somatic and holistic tools to support your overall well-being.

1. Befriend Your Emotions - Instead of getting annoyed with your emotions and attempting to get rid of them as quickly as possible, try thinking of your emotions as messengers and valuable guides. Being immersed in U.S. culture has taught us to label our emotions as “good” or “bad”, but in reality ALL emotions serve a purpose. If we can learn to get curious toward our emotions and let them guide us, they will take us to a need and give us an opportunity to meet that need. When emotions arise, try asking yourself:

1. “What is this emotion telling me?”

2. “What unmet need or value might it be highlighting?”

2. Regulate Emotions Through the Body - Our emotions don’t just exist in our minds, they actually live in our bodies! As previously mentioned, emotions are energy in motion, hence the term e-motion. And this energy we speak of is generated by the autonomic nervous system, so one of the best ways to manage and regulate your emotions is to get good at regulating the energy in your nervous system. Somatic (body-based) tools can help you release and regulate intense emotions. Here are a few somatic tools to try:

1. Grounding Techniques - Stand or sit with your feet connected fully to ground below you (try this outside with bare feet for an even stronger connection), breathe deeply, and imagine roots extending from your feet into the ground below you. This can stabilize your nervous system during moments that feel overwhelming, chaotic or confusing. 

2. Shaking or Movement - Mammals in the animal kingdom naturally shake off stress, and since we too are mammals, we can do the same. The next time you’re feeling over-activated (anxiety, anger, etc.) try shaking out your arms, legs and torso (be sure to get the shaking all the way into your core) for 1-2 minutes to discharge tension and reset.

3. Belly Breathing - Our breath is closely linked to the vagus nerve which has a powerful effect in regulating the autonomic nervous system, so the next time you’re experiencing a fight-or-flight response (anxiety, anger) practice belly breathing. Place your hands on your stomach, inhale deeply (in an easy and gentle way) allowing your belling to expand, then exhale slowly. Do this for 2-5 minutes and notice how you feel afterwards.

4. Re-Orient, Re-Connect & Mobilize - If you notice yourself feeling underactivated (depressed, procrastinating, collapsed) your inner system needs more energy so try helping it out by intentionally adding some energy back into your nervous system. First, sit up, put your feet on the ground and take a look around at your surroundings allowing your head and neck to turn as you look around. Then, reach out and touch different textures and squeeze or pat your body to wake your skin and muscles back up. Last, mobilize your system by intentionally adding some energy back in, starting small at first (wiggling fingers and toes, stretching, creating friction and heat by rubbing your palms together quickly) then allow the movements to expand over time (sing, dance, push into the wall, run). 

3. Mindfulness - Mindfulness is a tool that can help us in many areas of our lives, but in particular with emotion management and regulation. Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment as if your life depended on it (commitment is key!). Simply aim your attention at what you are experiencing inside then allow it to be there without judgement, and without rushing it along or clinging to it. Just see if you can allow it to be there and then allow it move

4. Distress Tolerance - What helps you tolerate discomfort? Building distress tolerance is key to being able to stay present with emotions and presence is crucial for emotional management, regulation and processing. 

5. Practice Self-Compassion - When emotions feel messy or overwhelming, remind yourself that you’re human. Self-compassion can help discharge the intensity of the emotion allowing it to soften just enough so you can stay present with it and allow it move through. Speak to yourself as you would a dear friend:

1. “I’m not doing anything wrong by feeling what I’m feeling, it’s just what’s happening. It’s okay to feel this way, it’s allowed.”

2. “I am doing the best I can right now, with the information I have”

3. “This is really hard right now. I am really struggling. May I be kind to myself in these moments.” 

6. Interoception & Proprioception - Interoception is the ability to sense and interpret internal bodily signals such as heartbeat and breath. It helps you identify how emotions manifest physically, like feeling a tight chest when you’re anxious or butterflies in your stomach when excited. Proprioception is the sense of your body’s position and movement in space. It helps you stay grounded and connected to the present moment, providing a physical anchor during emotional intensity. Holistic, somatic therapy and yoga are great ways to further develop your interoceptive and proprioceptive abilities which ultimately fosters a deeper mind-body connection, improving emotional resilience and self-regulation.

7. Embrace the Pause - When emotions surge, it’s tempting to react immediately because they can come with so much energy. Instead, practice pausing. Take 3 deep breaths and remind yourself: “I have the space to respond with intention.” This simple act can shift emotional reactions to mindful responses. 

8. Safe Spaces for Expression - Emotions need an outlet. Whether through art, dance, writing, or processing with trusted friends or a therapist. For good mental health and overall well-being, it is crucial to find ways to express what is going on inside for you. This not only prevents emotions from being suppressed but it also helps you learn to embrace your emotions and understand yourself much more deeply. 

9. Lean on Nature - Nature is one of our greatest healers because humans are part of nature (just like other mammals). Spending time outdoors can regulate emotions by connecting us to a sense of grounding and perspective. 

1. Go for a mindful walk in nature paying attention to the sounds, smells, and textures around you.

2. Sit by a body of water and imagine it washing away emotional heaviness.

3. Use natural elements like essential oils (lavender for calm, citrus for upliftment) to engage your senses and anchor your mood. 

4. Drive or hike up to a beautiful view where you can see for miles. Allow the immensity of this view to put you and your daily stressors into perspective. 

10. Visualization - Visualization is a powerful tool to shift your perspective and regulate emotions. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by anger, try imagining it as a storm passing through you, or, if sadness feels heavy, visualize it as a flowing river returning you to a place of peace. Or, when an emotion with some charge comes through, try this: 

1. Sit comfortable and close your eyes (if that feels okay) to block out visual distractions

2. Locate the sensation of the emotion somewhere in your body. There is no right or wrong, it's just what it feels like to you. Maybe the emotion is manifesting your chest, or jaw, or stomach, or eyebrows…feel into and see for yourself.

3. Then, put a color and shape to the emotion where it’s showing up in your body (maybe it feels like a red triangle between your shoulder blades)

4. Once you’ve gotten a sense of the message this emotion carries, then watch it transform into something softer or lighter, symbolizing the release or integration of the emotion.

What would it be like to try some of these tips and tools the next time you’re feeling a lot of emotional charge? Perhaps you’d like to bookmark this blog so you can easily find it during future moments of emotional angst.

Closing Thoughts

Emotions are like waves – they rise, peak, and eventually ebb. By using these holistic tools, you can learn to ride the waves of your emotions with grace rather than being pushed around or swept away. Remember, your emotions are not the enemy; they are your allies, guiding you toward a deeper understanding of yourself and the life you want to create. 

If you’re ready to dive deeper into managing and embracing your emotions, consider working with us! We are a group of compassionate, holistic therapists who can resource with you effective, somatic tools to manage and regulate your emotions. Together, we can create a personalized toolkit to help you thrive emotionally and energetically so you can begin living the life you’ve always imagined for yourself! 

To get in touch with us, just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

Why We Struggle with Emotions and How to Shift Your Perspective

Have you noticed that actually SO many of us struggle with emotions?

It’s true, it’s not just you! 

We can look around our nation and easily see that we, as a people, are not well. We are more stressed out, strung-out, and burnt-out than ever, and even though we get told that being stressed out is normal, and drug addiction is a disease…those narratives are not true. What is true, is that many of the “ailments” we struggle with as a society stem from our collective inability to be with, regulate and process emotions. 

Believe it or not, emotions are a fundamental part of the human experience, even though so many of us have been taught to view them as obstacles or inconveniences. We have learned to resist, suppress, and even fear them, believing they are too overwhelming, dangerous, or a sign of weakness. But, what if emotions aren’t the enemy? 

What if, instead, emotions are valuable guides, here to teach us, protect us, and connect us with our authentic selves?

In this blog, we will explore why we tend to struggle with emotions, where our resistance toward emotions comes from, and how to reframe emotions as powerful tools for self-understanding and growth.

Why We Struggle with Emotions

Instead of being critical of ourselves for struggling with emotions, let’s be curious about it instead! After all, most of us would agree that we aren’t actively trying to struggle and we’d much prefer to proceed with ease instead, so check out the list below to get a sense of where our collective struggle with emotions stems from:

• Cultural Conditioning: In the United States, cultural norms play a significant role in promoting emotional avoidance, shaping behaviors and attitudes from childhood through adulthood. Unfortunately, emotional avoidance is linked to many mental health struggles due to very normal and naturally occurring human emotions going unprocessed and needs going unmet. Here are some common societal norms that encourage emotional avoidance:

1. Stoicism and Independence - American culture values stoicism and self-reliance, emphasizing the importance of handling problems on your own without showing vulnerability.

2. Productivity and Success - There’s a strong focus on productivity and achieving success in U.S. culture, which leads to the perception that emotions are distractions that need to be managed or hidden to maintain efficiency. 

3. “Good Vibes Only” - There’s an emphasis on positivity and optimism which discourages the open expression of negative emotions and a tendency to downplay or avoid discussing negative feelings.

4. Privacy and Personal Space - There’s value placed on privacy and individualism which leads to the avoidance of deep emotional discussions which can be seen as intrusive or inappropriate.

5. Gender Norms - U.S. gender norms dictate that men should be tough and unemotional, while women are expected to manage emotions discreetly to avoid being labeled as overly emotional or hysterical.

6. “Keep Your Cool” - There’s an expectation to always maintain your composure and avoid public displays of emotion which promotes the idea that emotional expression is best kept private. 

It’s important to note that all these cultural norms are deeply rooted in patriarchy. In patriarchal systems, emotions, especially those perceived as vulnerable (sadness, fear, empathy), get categorized as feminine traits when really they are human traits. These American cultural norms reflect a patriarchal system that has historically devalued emotional expression and positioned it as a weakness, particularly when contrasted with traits like rationality, control, and independence, which the patriarchy has claimed as masculine. It’s also important to note, that even though these norms are patriarchal values, they harm people across the gender spectrum, because ALL humans are, by nature, emotional creatures.

An additional prominent root from which emotional struggles and avoidance stem are past relational experiences and fear of pain and discomfort. 

• Past Relational Experiences: Our relationship with emotions is shaped by how our caregivers related to their own emotions and responded to our feelings as children. Take a moment and think back…How do you remember your caregivers relating to their own emotions? What messages do you remember hearing in reaction to your emotions? Many of us grew up in homes where the adults rarely, if ever, expressed their emotions, and, in moments where emotions did get expressed they often came out in a way that was volatile or explosive teaching little observant kiddos that emotions are scary, dangerous and lead to disconnection. In addition, many of our own emotional expressions got reacted to with messages like, “Stop crying!” or “Suck it up” or “Calm down!” Messages like this teach us that certain emotions are unacceptable or burdensome to others. All of these past relational experiences can lead to a lifelong pattern of suppressing or ignoring emotions to maintain harmony, avoid conflict, and maintain connection.

**Again, it’s important to note that many of the ways our caregivers related to their own emotions and reacted to ours were shaped by cultural norms and conditioning which, as previously mentioned, are rooted in patriarchy. 

• Fear of Pain and Discomfort: Our nervous systems essentially operate by interpreting sensory and emotional experiences as either pleasurable (safe and enjoyable) or non-pleasurable (stressful, uncomfortable, or threatening). This binary perspective is rooted in its evolutionary purpose – to help us survive by steering us toward safety and away from danger. Because we are human we will experience a range of emotions and some emotions can feel physically and mentally uncomfortable. Anger might bring tension, fear might tighten the chest, and sadness can feel like a heavy weight. Because our nervous system categorizes experiences as either pleasurable or non-pleasurable, we instinctively avoid feelings that fall into the non-pleasurable category because our brain associates it with threat. In reality, very few of our emotions arise to communicate a true life-or-death situation. It takes co-regulation and brain/nervous system training to discern between real and perceived threats which we “should” be learning how to do in childhood from our caregivers, but unfortunately many of us were raised by emotionally avoidant adults and therefore missed out on gaining these emotional skills and tools. 

Reclaiming Emotional Expression

To experience better mental health and overall well-being it’s important to begin challenging these American cultural norms and dismantling the patriarchal ideas that devalue emotionality. Here are a few ways to begin challenging and dismantling:

• Normalize Vulnerability: Instead of getting uncomfortable and looking for a distraction, try celebrating emotional expression as a human trait. No, it's no longer a weakness or gendered characteristic like we’ve been taught for decades, emotional expression and vulnerability are simply human! 

• Value Emotional Labor: Because of what we’ve been taught about emotions in U.S. society, emotional labor is severely undervalued when really it’s crucial to health and well-being. We need to begin recognizing and compensating emotional care as critical work, particularly in relationships, workplaces, and communities. Without it we are all much worse off physically, socially, emotionally and spiritually. 

• Foster Emotional Literacy: Since American culture is teaching us the opposite of what we truly need to be well and thrive, we need to start taking back our power by getting accurate information out there when it comes to emotions, health and wellness. Teaching emotional awareness and regulation from a young age is crucial to break cycles of suppression and struggle. 

• Center Collective Care: Far too many people feel alone in life. This feeling alone directly impacts mental and well-being because as a species we are designed to connect and be part of a collective. We need to find ways to shift our focus away from individualism (that doesn’t mean you have to completely let go of personal competency or independence) and focus our efforts on building healthy interdependence, where mutual emotional support is given and valued. 

Closing Thoughts

In a culture like ours in the United States, where emotional expression is often minimized, dismissed, or labeled as weakness, it’s no wonder so many of us struggle to navigate our feelings. Yet reclaiming our ability to feel and express emotions is not just an act of personal healing – it’s a cultural shift toward authenticity and connection. By shifting our perspective to view emotions as allies rather than adversaries, we take back the power to fully experience and process life and in doing so we gain and experience more freedom than ever before! Embracing our emotional selves allows us to break free from the constraints of emotional suppression, fostering deeper relationships, greater self-awareness, and a healthier society where vulnerability is seen as a strength. It’s time to redefine emotional expression as a vital part of being human, not something to fear or avoid.

We got you. Just head to the contact tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

Understanding Emotions: What They Are and Why We Feel Them

One of the biggest barriers to experiencing better mental health and overall well-being is working through and working with emotions. SO many of us (my past self included) struggle to feel and process emotions effectively. 

If you are someone who resonates with “the emotional struggle”, try not to be hard on yourself! It’s important to remember that as a nation, we aren’t great with emotions. We live in an emotionally phobic society so very few of our parents had emotional skillsets and therefore unable to meet our psychological and emotional needs growing up and they were also not able to teach us about emotions or emotion regulation. 

Emotions are, however, an integral part of being human. They color our experiences, shape our decisions (whether we want to admit it or not), and connect us to ourselves and each other. Emotions are not just fleeting sensations that are to be avoided, instead, they are powerful messages from the mind, body, and soul offering insight into our inner worlds and how we relate to the outer world. 

Keep reading if you’d like to grow in your capacity to be with, feel and process emotions and improve your mental health! In this blog post we will explore what emotions are, why we feel them, and how understanding them can lead to greater well-being. 

What Are Emotions?

At their core, emotions are energetic responses to internal or external stimuli. They are energy-in-motion, hence the term “e-motion”. Emotions arise from a dynamic interplay between the brain, body and environment. Biologically, emotions originate in the brain’s limbic system, which processes sensory input and assigns meaning to experiences. These signals then cascade through the nervous system influencing physical sensations, thoughts, and behaviors. 

Holistically, emotions are more than just chemical reactions; they are expressions of our essence and serve as bridges between our mental, physical, and spiritual states. For example, joy may feel expansive and light, while grief might feel heavy and grounding. These sensations inform us about our needs, boundaries, and desires. 

Why Do We Feel Emotions?

Emotions serve many vital purposes:

1. Survival Mechanisms: Emotions like fear, anger, shame, guilt, and disgust evolved to protect us from harm. For example:

1. Fear - Alerts us to danger, triggering fight-flight-freeze responses to escape threats.

2. Anger - Lets us know that whatever is happening is not right. It alerts us to boundary violations so that we can course-correct via direct communication or reasserting what’s okay with us and what’s not. 

3. Shame - A social emotion that evolved to promote behaviors beneficial for group living and survival. The emotion of shame discourages behaviors that might lead to rejection or exclusion from the group, which could have been fatal in ancestral environments where group membership was crucial for survival.

4. Guilt - A social emotion that evolved to promote behaviors beneficial for group living and survival. Guilt lets us know when we’ve done something wrong and motivates us to take accountability, make amends (if needed), and modify future behaviors to align with boundaries, promoting personal growth and adaptability.

5. Disgust - Helps us avoid harmful situations and substances (ex: spoiled food, unwanted sexual advances, pathogens, etc.)

2. Guidance Systems: Emotions act as internal compasses, pointing us toward what feels aligned or misaligned with our values and goals.

1. Decision Making - Emotions guide decisions in uncertain situations. For instance, feelings of anxiety may signal risks, while joy indicates positive experiences.

3. Social Connection: Emotions like love, empathy, and anger helps us navigate relationships, communicate effectively, and maintain meaningful bonds which is HUGE because as humans our brains are literally wired for connection. In other words, connection is something we need to feel healthy and well. 

1. Love and Affection - Foster bonding and caregiving.

2. Guilt and Shame - Reinforce social norms and discourage behaviors that harm group dynamics.

4. Communication: Facial expressions and emotional behaviors convey intentions, facilitating non-verbal communication across individuals and even species.

5. Healing and Growth: Feelings such as sadness or anxiety invite introspection and growth, encouraging us to address unresolved issues and find our way back to balance and our natural state of peace. 

6. Attachment, Needs & Regulation: Infants are born with an attachment system that is wired and ready to go because they cannot yet meet their own needs. Human babies need to connect and bond with their primary caregivers in order to survive. What this looks like in real life is an infant instinctually expressing an emotion like distress via crying to signal their needs (hunger, discomfort, needing to feel safe) to the adults around them so they can get their needs met and develop and grow. 

7. Cognitive & Social Development: Emotions help shape memory, attention, and learning. For example children often remember emotionally charged events more vividly. Emotions also shape social development, like empathy and embarrassment teach us how to navigate relationships and social expectations. 

8. Self-Awareness and Identity: Emotional experiences contribute to self-concept and identity formation because our emotions are directly linked to our needs and the meeting of our needs tells us that we matter and are worthy of having our needs met. 

9. Motivation: Positive emotions (ex: pride, happiness) encourage goal-directed behavior, while negative ones (ex: frustration) highlight areas to get curious about in terms of boundary violations or something that is going awry. 

10. Flow States: From a holistic perspective, emotions are also part of our energetic flow. When we suppress or ignore them, this flow becomes disrupted, potentially manifesting as physical tension patterns, illness, or mental distress. 

The Holistic Approach to Emotions

As holistic therapists, we view emotions as sacred messengers not problems to be solved or eliminated. This perspective emphasizes:

1. Mind-Body Awareness - Emotions are felt physically. Anger may accumulate in the jaw, eyes/eyebrows, arms, and hands, while anxiety manifests in the chest and stomach, or sadness in the throat and heart. Tuning into these sensations helps us process feelings rather than bypass them and when we process emotions they release from our minds and bodies and we feel better. 

2. Somatic Practices - Movement, breathwork, and mindfulness help us release stored emotions in the body, restoring energetic balance.

3. Emotional Literacy - Naming and acknowledging emotions is the first step toward understanding them. Are you feeling frustration, or is it unmet longing? Differentiating helps uncover the deeper meaning and what needs of ours are going unmet. 

4. Integration - Emotions are neither “good” nor “bad”; they simply are. Embracing this non-judgemental stance allows us to fully experience and integrate our emotions into our lives. 

Why Understanding Emotions Matters

When we truly understand our emotions, we empower ourselves to live authentically. Rather than being swept away by feelings or suppressing them, we can engage with them as allies. Emotional awareness actually fosters higher levels of resilience, better decision-making, and deeper relationships with ourselves and others.

Holistic therapy invites us to honor emotions as guides on our journey toward balance and wholeness. By working with our emotions – not against them – we align with our natural rhythms and open the door to profound healing and growth. And couldn’t we all use a bit more healing and growth?

Closing Thoughts

In understanding emotions, we come to see them not as obstacles but as essential guides in our lives. They are the signals that connect our inner experiences to the world around us, offering insight, motivation and connection. By recognizing their purpose and allowing ourselves to feel them fully, we open the door to greater self-awareness, healing, and growth. Emotions are not meant to be feared or suppressed (despite our society teaching us to relate to our emotions in these ways) – they are tools to help us navigate life’s complexities with authenticity and resilience. When we learn to embrace emotions, we unlock the power to live more intentionally, compassionately, and wholeheartedly.

Interested in a free consultation to learn more about your emotions? Head to the “contact tab” in the upper righthand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

End of Year Review and Somatic Tools to Prep for the Holidays

Seasons Greetings Brave Community! 

As we step into December, anticipation, or possibly trepidation, lingers in the chilly winter air. For many of us, this time of year brings a swirl of emotions – joy and connection, alongside stress and grief. 

The holidays often ask A LOT of us financially, mentally, physically, and emotionally, as we navigate family dynamics, busy schedules, and the tender weight of what this year has held. 

This month, we invite you to pause and breathe. Together let’s make space to emotionally prepare for the holidays with intention and self-compassion. In this December issue of our newsletter you’ll find tools to support your emotional well-being during the festive season, as well as, thoughtful prompts to guide your end-of-the-year reflection. 

Let’s do our best to welcome the opportunity to close 2024 with intention, clarity, care, and gratitude for all that 2024 brought us – the joy, the pain, and everything in between. 

Emotional Prep for the Holidays

Is there a part of you that’s excited for the holidays?

Is there a part of you freaking out about the stress of it all? 

If so, you are not alone in experiencing that inner turmoil. And, no, there’s nothing wrong with you, and no, you’re not going crazy. We all have different parts of self with different thoughts, feelings, and opinions on things. 

But, instead of ignoring your inner turmoil, what would it be like to slow down and get curious?  Could it be that these parts of you are popping up during the holiday season because they are trying to signal you about something?

What if, instead of white-knuckling-it through the holidays like years past, you do some emotional prep? 

Here’s a tailored list of 20 somatic and holistic tools to help you navigate the holiday season with more ease and joy, especially when managing stress and complex family dynamics:

Emotion & Nervous System Regulation Tools

1. Grounding: Use tactile objects like a smooth stone, a fidget toy, a piece of jewelry, or textured fabric in your pocket to ground yourself (i.e. stay in the present moment) during stressful moments. 

2. Calming Breathwork: Practice slow exhales – this helps get the parasympathetic branch of your nervous system to come back online during a stress response. Inhale easily and naturally, then slowly let it out, or, hold your thumb 5-10 inches away from your face and as you exhale blow on your thumb like you’re blowing on a candle flame without trying to blow it out. Do this for ~5 minutes. 

3. Body Scans: Spend 5-10 minutes scanning your body for tension. Invite release and relaxation by focusing on softening specific areas (ex: jaw, shoulders)

4. Shake It Out: Fight or flight stress responses produce an excess of energy in the mind and body, so do your best to release this excess energy via movement like shaking, pushing, running, jumping. Literally shake your hands, legs, and whole body (all the way to your core) to release excess energy and pent up tension after difficult moments or conversations. 

5. Movement Breaks: Excuse yourself every hour, or every couple of hours, for a quick walk and/or stretch. Movement helps discharge built-up stress. 

Energy Management

1. Pre-Socializing Recharge: Dedicate time to a solo activity (reading, a walk, a yoga class, journaling) before gatherings to fill up your emotional tank. 

2. Post-Gathering Decompression: Plan a soothing activity like a hot bath, gentle yoga, or watching a comforting show after a gathering to reset. 

3. Set Boundaries: Decide in advance how much time you’ll spend at events or with certain people, and prepare to work through feelings of guilt about leaving early or declining invitations. Also, do your best to speak up and set boundaries in the moment as needed. 

Holistic Mindset Strategies

1. Reframe Expectations: Replace “Everything must go perfectly” with “It’s okay to focus on meaningful moments, no perfection”. Or, replace “I just want to have a good time” with “It’s okay to focus on moments of joy, it’s unrealistic to think everything will be enjoyable”.

2. Gratitude Practice: Our brains already have a negativity bias, so they will easily be able to identify and focus on what’s not going right. To help counteract this negativity bias, try identifying 3 things each day you appreciate about this time of year or the gatherings you’re attending. 

3. Inner Child Check-In: Everyone has an inner child (whether it’s realized or not). Do your best to check-in with your inner child daily because this is the part of us that can get particularly hurt during the holidays due to being around people that have hurt them in the past. 

Specific Family Dynamic Strategies

1. Anchor a Safe Space: Identify a safe space in the home or outside that you can go to when you notice yourself starting to feel overwhelmed or triggered. 

2. Silence as a Tool/Non-Reaction Practice: When someone says or does something hurtful, do your very best to pause instead of react. Use silence as a tool to let the person know that what just happened was noticed and was not okay. 

3. Mantras: Create a repeat affirmations like, “All I can do is my best and my best is different day to day” or “I am learning that I can protect myself and open to connection”

Keep Up with Self-Care

1. Balanced Nutrition & Hydration: While holiday food is delicious, it also tends to be rich and therefore hard on our systems. Do your best to prioritize protein and hydration to stabilize your blood sugar and energy which allows your nervous system to not have to work so hard. 

2. Sleep Hygiene: Quality sleep during the holidays is key for managing stress and fostering patience in navigating complex family interactions. Do your best to maintain a consistent sleep schedule, avoid stimulants like caffeine later in the day, and continue with your wind down routine at night before bed. 

3. Modified Routine: Having a predictable daily structure provides stability and reduces decision fatigue, even amid holiday chaos. Do your best to stick to some semblance of your normal daily routine i.e. if you usually wake up, have breakfast and go to yoga before starting your day, keep doing that! 

4. Mini-Digital Detox: Since there will already be so much going on, do your best to limit social media use as this is a space that can quickly get overstimulating without even realizing it. 

Support Systems

1. Stay Connected to Safe People: Do your best to stay in contact with the safe people you have in your day-to-day life, even if that means you need to get a little creative in the way that you connect with them. Perhaps seeing them in person (as you usually do) isn’t an option because they or you are traveling for the holidays, but could it be possible to do a video call with them, or text throughout the day, or send marco-polo’s? Safe connections act as a buffer against the stress of complicated dynamics and remind you that you are not alone. 

2. Professional Support: Therapists are trained to hold safe, non-judgmental space and can also offer useful strategies for managing stress, setting boundaries, and processing emotions. Seeking, or keeping up with professional support during the holidays ensures you have support and guidance in navigating the heightened challenges this time of year brings. 

As the holidays bring both joy and challenges, integrating somatic and holistic tools into your routine can provide grounding, resilience, and more emotional balance. These practices empower you to stay connected to your body, honor your needs, and navigate stress with greater ease and self-compassion. Remember, this season isn’t about perfection – it’s about finding ways to nurture yourself, maintain healthy boundaries, and create meaningful moments amidst the complexity. By prioritizing your well-being, you can approach the holidays with more clarity, presence, and peace. 

In the next section of this December newsletter we’ve included some information and prompts to support you in your end of year reflections. We also know that this next section may not be needed until the very last few days of December, so feel free to save it in your email to revisit later when there is more emotional and energetic space to devote to your end-of-year review. 

End of Year Review

While December can be a month of festive, holiday gatherings, it is also the final month in the calendar year. Because of this, many of us find ourselves naturally reflecting on the year that has passed and looking toward the new year that is about to begin in January. If you’d like to add some intentionality to your end of year reflections, see below to be guided through a powerful end of year journal ritual.

• Set Your Space - We know it may seem silly or insignificant, but being intentional about how your space feels as you reflect and journal – setting up your space is PART of the ritual! Do your best to set your space in a way that you feel seen, held and at ease. The more comfortable you feel, the more communication you will receive from your inner system.

  • Ideas for setting your space: Find a private space, make a calming or favorite beverage, light a candle, set up pillows & blankets, set your lighting in a way that feels good, open up a window and air the room out to bring in fresh new air and help you find a clear state of mind. What else would help you feel seen & held in this process?

• Grounding Practice - Take a few moments to center and ground yourself in your body. Click here to be guided through a 90 second end of year embodiment practice.

• Journal - Grab a blank page or your journal and at the top write “2024 was…” and then write down one word, or a short concise summary, about the overall feeling that is lingering here at the end of 2024 for you.

Then, complete the following journal prompts:

• What sensations and energy can you notice in your body right now as you reflect on the past year? Write down any and all body sensations.

• Reflect on the word or phrase you wrote at the top of your page. Is this phrase free from bias? Are there any old stories or narratives from the past you need to let go of?

• What was the most challenging part of 2024 for you? What made it challenging?

• What are the biggest or hardest lessons you learned this year?

• What were the best parts of 2024 for you? What made them so good?

• What were the risks you took this year? What made them happen?

• What life lessons were you able to accept and integrate in 2024?

• In what ways have you grown, changed or progressed this past year?

• What can you do today that you didn't think was possible a year ago?

• Who were the three people that had the greatest impact on your life this year?

• What was your most loving service to someone or something?

• What is your unfinished business from this year?

• What else do you need to do or say to be complete with this year?

As always, we are here for you. If you find yourself needing some extra support during the holidays, or you’d like more guidance completing your end-of-year reflections – we got you. Just head to our website at www.bravecounseling.com, click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch with you ASAP!

The Impact of Light and Temperature on Mental Health: Understanding and Managing Seasonal Affective Disorder

As the days grow shorter and the temperatures drop, many of us find ourselves experiencing subtle – or not so subtle – shifts in energy, mood, and sleep. For some, these seasonal changes bring profound challenges, affecting their mental well-being and daily life. From a holistic perspective, understanding the roots of these shifts, particularly Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), can open doors to natural, balanced ways to support ourselves through the colder months. 

Why Shorter Days Can Affect Our Energy and Mood

Our bodies are deeply tuned to natural rhythms – light, temperature, and seasonal cycles all that play critical roles in our mental health. When summer turns to autumn, daylight hours decrease, and when autumn turns to winter, daylight hours decrease even more, meaning less and less exposure to sunlight. This lack of light can impact our internal clock, or circadian rhythm, which regulates sleep-wake cycles, energy levels, and even hormone production. 

1. Energy Levels: Sunlight helps stimulate serotonin, a neurotransmitter essential for mood stability. Less sunlight means less serotonin, often leading to low energy, fatigue, and slower cognitive function. 

2. Mood Shifts: Darkness signals the brain to produce more melatonin, the hormone that helps regulate sleep. Increased melatonin production can leave us feeling lethargic, and without sufficient, it can disrupt the balance between melatonin and serotonin, contributing to mood swings, irritability, and feelings of sadness. 

3. Sleep Changes: With less sunlight during the day and earlier darkness, our circadian rhythms often shift. You may feel tired earlier in the evening or struggle to wake up in the morning. The disruption can leave us feeling out of sync and less rested. 

Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a form of depression that typically occurs in late fall or early winter, when daylight hours are reduced. While the exact cause of SAD is still being researched, it’s thought to involve a combination of decreased sunlight exposure, biological clock disruptions, and changes in serotonin and melatonin levels. Interestingly, some recent research has proposed that humans might carry residual genetic mechanisms from ancestors who hibernated. This theory posits that our seasonal slow-downs could reflect ancient patterns of conserving energy and during times of limited resources and sunlight. 

Symptoms of SAD:

• Persistent sadness, depression or hopelessness

• Low energy and fatigue

• Oversleeping or insomnia

• Changes in appetite, often craving carbohydrates or sugar

• Difficulty concentrating

• Reduced interest in activities that are typically enjoyable

Holistic Approaches to Alleviating SAD

From a holistic therapy perspective, treating SAD means working with the body, mind and soul in ways that honor the natural rhythms while helping you adapt to seasonal shifts.

• Light Therapy - One of the most effective approaches to combat SAD symptoms is light therapy, which involves exposure to a lightbox that mimics natural sunlight. Ideally, individuals use light therapy for 20-30 minutes each morning to help regulate their circadian rhythm and encourage serotonin production. However, consult with a doctor to determine the ideal light intensity and duration for you.

• Nutrition and Supplementation - As holistic therapists, we focus on the mind-body connection and believe it can be useful to be curious about nutrition and nutritional supplements to support mental health. More and more research is coming out each year identifying the crucial role nutrients play in wellness. 

• Vitamin D: Since sunlight exposure is limited in the fall and winter, many people become deficient in vitamin D, which is essential for mood regulation. Adding a vitamin D supplement or incorporating fortified foods like orange juice, yogurt and milk/plant based milks can help.

• Omega -3-Fatty Acids: Found in fish, flaxseeds, and walnuts, omega-3-fatty acids support brain health and mood stability. They can also be found in capsule form if foods rich in omega-3-fatty acids aren’t your favorite. 

• B Vitamins: B vitamins, particularly B6 and B12, play a significant role in neurotransmitter production and energy. Incorporating foods like leafy greens, beans, and whole grains can help, or, consider a B-complex supplement. 

• Mindfulness of Sugars and Refined Carbs: While you may crave sweets, excess sugar can lead to energy crashes and mood swings. Focus on balanced, whole-food meals to maintain stable energy levels and allow yourself to have sugar and treats in moderation.

• Daily Routine and Movement - Establishing a daily routine during fall and winter is vital to creating stability. Regular schedules help regulate sleep patterns and minimize the impact of shorter days. Here are some routine-focused recommendations:

• Get Outside: Whenever possible, spend time outside, even if it’s cloudy. Natural light, even in lower doses, can positively impact mood. 

• Physical Activity: Exercise boosts endorphins, the body’s natural “feel-good” hormones. Aim for at least 20-30 minutes a day of movement you enjoy, like walking, dancing, yoga, or any exercise that invigorates you. 

• Mindful Mornings: Start the day by connecting to yourself - perhaps with gentle stretching, a short meditation, or a gratitude practice to set the intention for the day.

• Holistic Therapies - A range of holistic therapies can support folks through SAD by addressing mind-body balance.

• Acupuncture: This is an ancient practice that can help rebalance energy, or “qi”, in the body and may reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. 

• Therapeutic Massage: Regular massage sessions can reduce stress, promote relaxation, and enhance mood by stimulating serotonin and dopamine production. 

• Holistic Embodied Psychotherapy: Therapy is a great tool that can help with SAD by addressing the mind-body connection, incorporating practices like mindfulness, breathwork, and body-based exercises that boost mood and energy. 

Shifting Our Perspective on SAD

While the experience of SAD can be challenging, viewing fall and winter as the seasons of rest and restoration can help shift our relationship with it. In nature, winter is a time for hibernation and slowing down. Perhaps SAD is a reminder that we, too, are part of nature’s cycles and rhythms. Instead of pathologizing the need to slow down, what if we saw it as an invitation to prioritize rest, connection, and inner work?

As holistic therapists, we encourage embracing this season as a time to nurture yourself deeply. Acknowledging your unique needs, experimenting with different strategies, and connecting with others can create a support network that helps you not only survive but truly live through the darker months. 

Tired of feeling so crumby all winter long?

Ready to shift your relationship to the colder, darker seasons? 

We got you. Just head to the contact tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

Hibernation Within: Honoring Our Innate Need for Rest and Restoration

Do you tend to get frustrated with yourself during the colder months for gaining weight, sleeping more and “being lazy”? 

If you do, you are not alone in your experience and feelings. 

But, what if you’re not actually lazy? What if your brain and body are sending you hibernation signals? 

Even though humans can’t technically hibernate, our brains and nervous systems, during fall and early winter, do send signals related to hibernation – to eat and sleep more and to decrease heart rate, breathing, body temperature and energy consumption. This is why so many of us tend to gain weight, feel cold regularly and experience a lack of energy starting in fall and continuing through the winter. 

Not quite sold? That’s fair, but we encourage you to keep reading! 

Check this out – Research into human “hibernation” and related physiological responses has started and scientists are exploring the intriguing idea that humans may retain some ancient biological mechanisms for energy conservation, potentially linked to seasonal changes. While hibernation is most prominent in animals like bears and bats, who undergo extended periods of torpor to conserve energy, some researchers believe remnants of these processes could exist in humans. This area of study is driven by evolutionary biology, genetics, and neuroscience. 

1. Evolutionary Mechanisms and Energy Conservation: Evolutionary biologists purpose that humans may retain vestigial systems that, in distant ancestors, might have been active during periods of resource scarcity or extreme cold. In many mammals, hibernation, or torpor, lowers the metabolic rate, reducing energy expenditure when food is scarce. The thought is that early humans might have possessed similar mechanisms, which could be minimally activated by signals during seasonal changes. 

2. Temperate and Light Cues: Environmental factors such as reduced sunlight and colder temperatures during the fall and winter play a significant role in altering human physiology. Research shows that shorter daylight exposure affects the pineal gland, which increases melatonin production – our sleep hormone – leading to more feelings of lethargy and tiredness in the colder months. This might be an adaptation to conserve energy, prompting us to stay indoors and sleep more during colder seasons. 

3. Circadian Rhythms and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Humans respond to changing seasons with shifts in their circadian rhythms, and some people experience SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), which has symptoms like fatigue, increased sleep, and carbohydrate cravings. These are similar to the preparatory behaviors in animals that store energy for the winter. The link between seasonal changes and energy levels may reflect underlying genetic mechanisms that respond to seasonal light patterns, affecting mood and behavior. So….it could be the case that we have created a disorder around a very natural human experience that is actually rooted in ancestral remnants of the mammalian capacity for hibernation. ( It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve been pathologized by mainstream psychology!) 

4. Hypometabolism and Torpor: In studying hypometabolism (reduced metabolic activity), scientists have identified certain genes that regulate cellular energy processes in animals. While humans don’t experience true torpor, some researchers hypothesize that specific metabolic pathways might still be latent within us. The exploration of these pathways could inform future therapies that could potentially trigger these states, useful for medical conditions that require reduced metabolic demand (such as in surgeries or space travel…and as holistic therapists we might argue these future therapies that could trigger torpor like states could be useful for folks needing to heal from chronic stress, burnout, adrenal fatigue, PTSD, complex trauma, etc.) 

5. Brain Studies and the “Hibernation Gene”: Research has also identified genes in animals that regulate entry into hibernation, such as the Hibernation Induction Trigger (HIT). Some studies are investigating whether humans possess similar genes that remain inactive. By understanding the brain’s neural circuitry around metabolic control, researchers hope to reveal how, if at all, the human brain could be nudged into lower metabolic states. 

It’s important to note that this research is still in its infancy, but it offers fascinating and validating insights into how our bodies might be wired for energy conservation, especially during the colder seasons, with potential applications in both medicine and understanding human health in different climates. 

To read up on the studies that have been started related to the possible remnants of hibernation in humans, search in Google for the following scientists and use keywords like “hibernation in humans” “torpor” and “metabolic slow down”. 

• Dr. Kelly Drew at the University of Alaska Fairbanks

• Dr. Hannah Carey and Dr. Matthew Regan at the University of Wisconsin

• Dr. Matteo Cerri from the University of Bologna 

• Dr. Vladyslav Vyazovskiy at Oxford 

Practical Ways to Adopt a “Mini-Hibernation” Lifestyle During the Colder Seasons

Creating a “mini-hibernation” lifestyle for conserving energy and staying grounded during the fall and winter months can be wonderfully restorative. Here are some practical holistic tools and practices to support you with this:

Sleep Hygiene for Deep Rest:

• Create a Consistent Schedule - Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time daily (even on the weekends!), aligning with natural light cycles if possible. 

• Optimize Your Environment - Keep your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet. Keeping devices (phones, tablets, TV’s) out of your bedroom and using blackout curtains and white noise machines can help! 

• Limit Stimulants - Avoid caffeine, sugar, or taking any stimulant medications in the late afternoon and evening.

• Wind Down - Establish a calming bedtime routine, such as reading, stretching, or meditation, to signal your body it’s time for rest. 

Nutrition for Sustained Energy:

• Focus on Warming, Nutrient-Dense Foods - Think soups, stews, roasted vegetables, and whole grains. Foods like root vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats (e.g. avocado, olive oil, nuts) are grounding and sustaining. 

• Be Mindful of Sugar and Processed Foods - To keep your blood sugar steady, be mindful of how much and when you are eating refined carbs and sugar, which can spike energy but lead to crashes. 

• Stay Hydrated - Cold weather can reduce thirst cues, but staying hydrated is essential, so incorporate warm teas or infuse your water with warming herbs like ginger. 

Movement for Gentle Stimulation:

• Gentle, Restorative Practices - Prioritize activities like yoga, stretching, tai chi, or slow walks. These are less draining and support circulation without taxing your energy reserves that are lower this time of year.

• Sync with Natural Light - Get outside during the daylight hours, even briefly, to help regulate circadian rhythms and boost mood. 

• Emphasize Core and Lower-Body Strengthening - Simple exercises targeting these areas can build warmth and stability. 

Introspection and Mental Health Care:

• Mindfulness Meditation - Daily mindfulness, even for a few minutes, can foster greater inner calm and awareness.

• Journaling - Track energy levels, emotions, and personal insights. Reflecting on moods and thoughts can uncover patterns and help us adapt and accept changing energy levels. 

• Somatic Exercises - Body scans, progressive muscle relaxation, or gentle tapping techniques (EMDR butterfly taps or EFT tapping) can help release tension and increase body awareness. 

• Holistic Therapy -  Therapy is a great way to regularly check-in and connect with what your mind and body are craving. Therapists can help you adapt your goals to fit with the energy of the season, as well as, support you in processing and letting go of old wounds and beliefs that are no longer serving you. Think of it like emotional pruning! 

Seasonal Adaptations for Comfort and Support:

• Warm and Cozy Environment - Use soft blankets, warm lights, and comforting scents to create a nurturing space.

• Social Connection in Balance - Choose social interactions that are fulfilling without being draining. Online chats or small gatherings might be easier to manage than large events this time of year.

• Set Boundaries for Energy Conservation - Respect your need for quiet time and allow for periods of solitude without guilt. 

As we journey into the colder, quieter months, the concept of “mini-hibernation” invites us to embrace a gentler rhythm, one that may tap into ancient, biological remnants of rest and renewal. By listening to our bodies and aligning with nature’s seasonal shift, we can adopt practices that nourish our energy reserves and support deeper introspection. Through mindful sleep routines, grounding nutrition, restorative movement, and self-reflection, we honor a cycle that encourages slowing down without sacrificing our vitality. As holistic therapists, we encourage you to try these intentional, fall and winter-focused rituals not only to enhance your well-being but also deepen your connection to yourself, others and the world around you. Adopting a mini-hibernation lifestyle is not about retreating – it’s about harmonizing with life’s natural ebb and flow, allowing for growth in stillness. 

If you find yourself struggling to honor inner requests to slow down, or, if you’d like some support in turning into yourself during this season – reach out to us! Just head to the contact tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

The Natural Slowdown: Embracing the Rhythms of Fall

The days continue growing shorter and the air is finally crisp here in Colorado. Our bodies and minds sense that we are smack dab in the middle of a seasonal shift. Autumn invites us all to slow down, to reflect, and to reconnect with a rhythm often drowned out by our patriarchal, capitalistic society and busy modern lives. This season brings with it an ancient call for rest and introspection – a call that cultures throughout history have followed, honoring the cycles of nature and respecting the body’s need for renewal. From a holistic perspective, the arrival of fall is an invitation to align with these natural rhythms, offering us a chance to cultivate peace, presence, and grounding in our daily lives. 

Seasonal Rhythms: Our Innate Connection to Nature’s Cycles

Every season has a unique energy that affects both our external environment and our internal landscape. Just as trees shed their leaves in preparation for winter, we too, have an inherent need to slow down, let go of what no longer serves us, and prepare for a quieter, more introspective phase. In the same way that plants conserve energy to endure colder months, our bodies naturally crave warmth, rest, and nourishment this time of year.

Research shows that our physiology is deeply attuned to natural cycles because we as humans are part of nature. The shift in daylight and temperature this time of year impacts our moods, energy levels, and even how we sleep. The circadian rhythms that guide our sleep-wake cycles are influenced by natural light, so the reduced sunlight in the fall signals to our bodies that it’s time to rest and restore. So, no, you’re not losing it or being lazy, your body and mind feels and is responding to the pull for a slower pace and to nurture ourselves from within. 

Ancient Wisdom: Honoring Seasonal Shifts

In ancient cultures, people aligned their lives with the seasons, understanding that each part of the year held unique wisdom and purpose. Fall was often a time to honor the harvest, reflect on the year’s growth, and prepare for winter’s stillness. Societies around the world created rituals and celebrations around these changes, recognizing the need for communal and personal reflection.

For example, ancient Chinese medicine views fall as the season of the lung and large intestine, organs associated with the process of letting go, both physically and emotionally. This period of release prepared individuals for the challenges of winter and allowed them to start fresh with the new year. Similarly, many indigenous traditions emphasize gratitude for the harvest, fostering a spirit of contentment and grounding as they prepared for winter. 

These customs remind us that slowing down isn’t simply about rest – it’s an intentional time for self-reflection, release, and honoring what we’ve cultivated throughout the year. When we take time to pause, we reconnect with our deepest essence that can often get lost in the hustle of modern life. 

The Benefits of Slowing Down in Fall

The fast pace of today’s world often prevents us from embracing the slower, quieter energy of fall. However, intentionally choosing to slow down – even if just a little – can offer profound mental, emotional and physical benefits. Here are a few ways that embracing fall’s natural rhythms can support your well-being:

1. Reduce Stress and Burnout: Constant productivity can leave us feeling depleted and detached. Slowing down allows us to recharge and approach the darker months with greater resilience and prepares our minds and bodies for the upcoming seasons of work and growth in 2025.

2. Enhanced Mental Clarity: Fall’s energy invites us to take stock of our lives, helping us gain insight into what’s working and what isn’t. This process of compassionate evaluation brings mental clarity and a sense of purpose.

3. Improved Physical Health: When we align with a more restful rhythm, we strengthen our immune systems and give our bodies time to heal and recover – essential for enduring colder months and building a life that is sustainable. 

4. Greater Emotional Balance: Reflecting on the past year can bring closure, allow us to release unprocessed emotions and move forward with lightness and intention. 

Creating Seasonal Rituals for Grounding and Self-Reflection

Fall rituals don’t have to be elaborate; they simply need to reflect a mindful slowing down. Here are a few ways to create meaningful practices that connect with the season’s energy:

1. Daily Gratitude Practice: Fall’s energy invites appreciation for all that you’ve gathered or harvested – physically, mentally and spiritually. Take 10-15 minutes each day to reflect on and journal about what you’re grateful for. Do your best to avoid making your gratitude practice about material items and instead focus it on who you have in your life and how things have happened. 

1. First, meditate for 5 minutes - Let your mind go and let it bring you a person and/or an event/circumstance that you are ultimately glad is part of your life. 

2. Journal - What is it about this person that makes you glad they are in your life? What is it about this event or circumstance that makes you glad it happened? Describe how this person and/or event makes or made you feel.

2. Grounding Walks in Nature: Bundle up and go for slow, mindful walks. Notice the changing colors, the cooler air, and the earthy smells. Nature has a calming effect on the human mind, body and soul, and by immersing ourselves in it, we ground ourselves in the present moment, drawing on seasonal wisdom. 

3. Evening Candle Rituals: As daylight decreases, consider lighting candles in the evening to mark the transition from day to night. This simple act can become a symbolic ritual, a reminder to wind down and embrace the stillness of evening. Don’t forget to blow them out before you go to bed! 

4. Seasonal Journaling: Set aside 30 minutes to 1 hour to journal about the past year. What lessons have you learned? In what ways have you grown or cultivated for yourself? What are you ready to release? Use this practice to let go of any lingering attachments or thoughts that no longer serve you, preparing your heart and mind for winter. 

5. Nourishing Your Body with Warm Foods: Fall is a wonderful time to enjoy warming foods like soups, stews, and root vegetables. These foods not only provide physical warmth but also comfort and grounding, supporting your body as it adjusts to cooler weather. 

Embrace Fall as an Invitation to Reflect and Renew

By embracing the natural slowdown of fall, we honor our connection to the earth and give ourselves permission to take a step back. In doing so, it allows for more access to reconnect deeply with our inner selves and replenish our mental, emotional and physical reserves. Through small, intentional practices, we can create a season rich in meaning, one that allows us to fully appreciate this quieter, introspective time of year. 

Remember, the natural world cycles through phases of growth and rest – and since we too are part of nature, we also go through phases of growth and rest. As you move through the fall, see if you can allow yourself to embrace the rhythm of slowing down. What would it be like to really listen to what your body and mind are asking of you, and find peace in aligning with nature’s pace? Let this season be a time of gentle grounding, self-reflection, and gratitude for all that you are cultivating within yourself and your life.

For a free consultation, head to the “contact tab” in the upper righthand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

How to Handle Holiday Stress

Can you believe it’s November already? Seriously, where the heck did 2024 go!?

Even though it may be hard to fathom, the holidays are just around the corner, and with them comes a sense of tradition. For some of us this tradition feels oppressive and misaligned with our truths. For some of us the traditions started by ancestors feel special and deeply aligned with our values.

Wherever you land in relationship with the holidays, may we all do our best to be mindful that this time of year is not joyous for everyone. Can those of us who are okay, hold space for those who are struggling and send out hope that everyone finds the courage to walk in their truths and find new ways of being that feel truly authentic?

If you are a person who tends to dislike this time of year, we see you. You don’t need to feel guilty for not participating in "celebrating the holidays". You have every right to feel your feelings and you have every right to seek your own joy. 

If you are a person who tends to like this time of year, but despite liking the holidays things end up feeling like a landslide and you find yourself feeling stressed, you also have every right to feel your feelings and seek your own joy. 

In this month’s newsletter, we’re exploring how we can approach the holidays mindfully. Instead of getting swept up in the pressure and rush, we invite you to focus on grounding yourself and preparing emotionally. By using simple, holistic practices like breathing exercises, grounding techniques, and intention-setting – we can navigate holiday stressors with a greater sense of ease and connection to self.

In the next sections we’ll identify common holiday stressors and look at ways to manage them and most importantly, we’ll talk about honoring your own needs and creating moments of connection and presence to enjoy the season fully. 

Common Holiday Stressors

What happens in your body knowing the holidays are right around the corner?

Tension? Clenching? Churning? 

Whether you take part in the holidays commonly celebrated in the U.S. or not, things can get stressful this time of year for a variety of reasons. The sensations you’re feeling in your body as you think about the upcoming holiday season are your emotional messengers communicating important information related to your needs, your truth and well-being. 

If you know you tend to feel crappy or get stressed this time of year, but aren’t quite sure why…check out our list of common holiday stressors below to help you gain clarity around what’s triggering your stress responses.

Common Holiday Stressors:

1. Financial Strain: 

   • Holiday expenses can add up quickly with gifts, decorations, food, travel and parties leaving you stretched thin financially which can be stressful.

2. Family Dynamics: 

   • Family gatherings bring together a variety of personalities and energies. Even if you generally get along with and feel connected to your family, all the different personalities, energies, and competing needs can feel stressful to navigate. 

   • It may also be the case that you’ve been doing your inner work and because of this you have so much more clarity and awareness of how past experiences impacted you, and now, because of the holiday, you are spending time with family who maybe aren’t doing any sort of self-development work.

• Doing the inner work is a double edged sword – it's incredible to finally see things for what they are and not be filled with confusion or hesitation AND at the same time it can really hurt when other people aren't getting it, don't see us in the way we'd like, and, continue relating to us in familiar and painful ways. Being with family that isn't doing the work can feel like walking through mud...everything feels like it takes more effort and more time.

3. Overscheduling and Time Pressure: 

   • Juggling holiday preparations, work, and social obligations can feel overwhelming.

   • Trying to attend all the seasonal events can be overwhelming and lead to burnout.

4. Social Pressure and Obligations: 

   • Holiday parties and gatherings can be enjoyable, but they can also feel like an obligation, especially if you… 

• Are questioning what the holidays really mean to you or if you even align with holiday traditions at all

• Don’t celebrate the holidays

• Are more introverted, or dealing with social anxiety

5. Unrealistic Expectations: 

   • Many people feel pressure to create a “perfect” holiday experience, which can lead to stress when things don’t go as planned.

6. Dietary and Health Habits: 

   • Holiday foods, while delicious, tend to be rich and harder for our systems to digest therefore stressing your system.

   • Disrupted routines, due to holiday activities and visitors from out of town, can lead to neglect of necessary self-care. When self-care and needs get missed we are more susceptible to stress and dysregulation.

7. Loneliness: 

   • The holidays can be an isolating time, especially for people who are separated from loved ones, estranged from family or have lost someone and are missing them. 

   • Holidays can also be lonely for people who don’t celebrate (for various valid reasons) because they have to turn down invites to festivities and the people they usually spend time with may be traveling or unavailable due to holiday activities. 

8. Travel Stress: 

   • Holiday travel often means dealing with crowds, delays and weather issues, which can lead to frustration and stress.

9. Mental Health Struggles: 

   • For those affected by depression, anxiety, SAD (seasonal affective disorder) the pressure to celebrate and be joyous and happy this time of year can exacerbate symptoms.

10. Gift-Giving Expectations: 

    • Finding the “perfect” gift for each person you care about and navigating wish lists or expectations can be stressful.

    • Giving material gifts may not be the way you show love or receive love, so the expectation to give and receive this time of year might be totally out of alignment for you therefore stressful.

After reading through the list of common holiday stressors you may have a better understanding of why this time of year tends to feel so crumby and stressful…but what can you do with this awareness? Head to the next session for some recommendations for emotional prep for the holiday season.

Emotional Prep for the Holiday Season: Increasing Clarity

So…if we know all these stressors are on their way, what would it be like to plan to cope ahead? 

Instead of continuing to feel trapped in a snow globe of stress, adhering to holiday expectations and traditions that don’t feel good to you…what if you took a more empowered approach? 

What would it be like to start choosing what you participate in, what you don't, and how you want to spend your time and energy? 

Remember…

• It’s okay to prioritize your well-being

• It’ okay to spend this time of year in a way that feels good to you

• It’s okay to take a more personal holiday

To help you get there, start here. Start by building clarity around how you’d like things to be and feel.

Journal Prompts for Navigating the Holidays Season with Clarity:

1. How do you want your holidays to FEEL?

• Close your eyes, let your mind go and allow your body and soul to show you what would feel good.

• Write down any images, words, phrases, ideas or concepts that come.

2. Take a moment and reflect on previous holidays you've experienced.

• What memories come to mind?

• How do you remember feeling over the holidays?

• Do these memories and feelings line up with what you wrote about in #1? (If no, proceed to #3)

3. What gets in the way of experiencing what you'd like to experience during the holidays? Write down anything and everything that comes.

• Examples: lack of planning and/or communication, mom gets super stressed about the food, high levels of conflict, emotionally immature family members, too many people, costs too much, too much time together, everyone zones out on their phones, etc.

4. Based on the information you gathered in #3, what needs to happen moving forward so things feel aligned with what you wrote about in #1?

• Examples: communicate ahead of time what you'd like to see happen and set clear plans, limit the time you spend with family from 6 hours to 3, bring a box or a bag for everyone to put their phones up, communicate that you won't be participating this year, attend someone else's holiday gathering that is more aligned with what you want to experience, etc.

Once you have clarity, then we can talk tools and strategies on how to bring your vision for the holidays to fruition. Stay tuned – our December newsletter will cover specific, holistic tools and strategies to help bring your “feel good” holiday seasons to life!

Let Go Like the Trees

As the leaves turn color and fall from the trees, nature shows us the beauty of letting go. Autumn is a season of release, a time when nature sheds what is no longer needed in preparation for rest and renewal. 

Just as nature goes through this process, we too, are invited this time of year to let go of what no longer serves us – whether it’s outdated habits, relationships that have run their course, or mindsets and beliefs that hold us back – this season encourages us to embrace the natural cycle of release and transformation. 

As part of nature, we are deeply connected to these rhythms and by aligning with them, we can create space for growth, clarity and a deeper sense of peace. Let this autumn be a time of mindful letting go and trusting that what we release will make room for what is truly meant to flourish in our lives. So many cycles of death and rebirth are necessary to becoming our tuest, most authentic selves. 

While the concept of letting go makes sense to many of us, it is often easier said than done. If you find yourself struggling to let go of things you know you need to in order to thrive, you are not alone and we are here for you!  

Head to the next section to learn about our different holistic therapy offerings and if you find something resonating with you, or, if you have questions don’t hesitate to reach out to us by emailing info@bravecounseling.com or scheduling a free consultation on our website! 

Brave’s Holistic Therapy Offerings 

Brave Embodiment Counseling is group practice based out of Denver, Colorado. The practice is home to 16 amazing therapists with tons of heart who offer therapy services in a variety of ways to help individuals, couples and families heal and grow. 

Our therapists are experts at blending useful top-down methods↓ with experiential bottom-up processing methods↑ so you can create lasting change in a way that feels safe. Across our team we have training and experience with a variety of methods including: CBT, DBT, mindfulness, motivational interviewing, ACT, attachment theory, feminist therapy, narrative therapy, enneagram, solution focused, trauma informed and focused, spiritual guidance and development, EFT, reiki, shamanic healing, art therapy, EMDR, brainspotting, inner child healing, IFS and somatic therapies. 

While not all of our therapists are trained in each and every one of the methods listed above, if there is one of these that sparks your interest feel free to let us know so we can match you up with a therapist who has training and experience with the particular method you’re interested in. 

In general, here are some of the main therapeutic methods and modalities offered at Brave Embodiment Counseling:

EMDR

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy is a structured, embodied, bottom-up processing method meaning it targets and works at the root of the present day issue vs. targeting the symptoms. EMDR does not require talking in detail about a distressing experience or trauma, instead it involves focusing on distressing memories while simultaneously undergoing bilateral stimulation typically through guided back-and-forth eye movements, taps or sounds. This process helps the brain reprocess traumatic events, reducing their emotional impact and allowing for healthier cognitive and emotional responses. EMDR is widely used for PTSD, anxiety and other stress-related conditions, but it can also be effective for a variety of symptoms, struggles and conditions. 

DBT

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is a top-down therapeutic method meaning it mostly targets the more cognitive (thought-based) parts of the brain as well as symptoms and behaviors. Dialectics are the foundation of DBT which is the concept of balancing opposites, especially the tension between acceptance and change. It emphasizes that two seemingly contradictory ideas can both be true at the same time, like accepting yourself as you are, while also working toward positive change. DBT works by building practical skills in 4 core areas – mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness –  to help people manage difficult emotions and improve their behaviors. With a commitment to learning, using, and integrating these skills, over time the neural pathways between emotionality and rational thinking become more balanced leading to people to feel more steady, stable and settled. 

Inner Child Healing

Inner child healing is a bottom-up, therapeutic process that focuses on addressing and healing emotional wounds, unmet needs and unresolved trauma from childhood. During inner child healing work, people are guided to reconnect with this younger, smaller version of themselves to acknowledge and validate past pain or unmet needs, understand how childhood experiences shape present-day behaviors, emotional reactions and relationships, learn self-compassion and self-care by nurturing this "inner child", release harmful beliefs, emotional blocks, or behaviors that developed as a result of past experiences. The goal of inner child healing work is to heal past wounds that are driving present day symptoms, issues and diagnoses. Ultimately, inner child work fosters greater resilience and well-being in the present.

Somatic Therapy

Somatic therapy is a body-centered, bottom-up therapeutic method meaning both the nervous system and brain are employed to release bound up energy (incomplete stress responses and unresolved pain) that are being held internally. Somatic therapy is based on the principle that the body is the vessel through which we experience life and therefore it holds onto past experiences, emotions and trauma, even when the mind may not consciously remember them. Somatic therapy uses the body as both a source of information, and a target for intervention and through physical awareness, movement and breathwork people are able to become more attuned to their bodily sensations allowing for the processing of unresolved emotions and trauma, leading to improved energy and emotion regulation, and overall well-being.

Spiritual Guidance & Development

The process of deepening one's connection to their inner self, values and the world around them in a meaningful, transcendent way. Spiritual guidance can help you cultivate awareness of your purpose, your beliefs, the greater mysteries in life, your connection to something larger (nature, the universe, a higher power) which aligns you more closely with your authentic self because it's hard to be fully authentic if a part of who you are (your soul) is getting ignored or overlooked. Spiritual development is unique to each person and can involve different methods like meditation, mindfulness, rituals, reflection and introspection, readings, journaling, yoga, etc. Incorporating spiritual development into the healing journey allows us to more deeply release old patterns and traumas, tap into inner resilience and self compassion, experience emotional freedom and cultivate a sense of purpose and well-being. 

While these are some of the main therapeutic offerings at Brave Embodiment Counseling, don’t forget that we also offer couples therapy and clinical supervision! Autumn can be a GREAT time to begin or resume your inner healing and growth work because nature is already leading you to let go of what’s no longer serving you. Maybe the fact that you’re reading this newsletter is your sign to take that next step and reach out to us for a free consultation – we can’t wait to get to know you!

Therapist Highlight: Alexandra Gray

Meet the dynamic and nurturing Alex Gray!

Alex is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Colorado, an experienced yoga instructor and Ayurvedic practitioner. She takes an integrative approach to her therapeutic work blending empirically-based treatment methods with holistic tools and tailors treatment to her client's personalities, preferences, needs and spiritual beliefs.

Alex has been working in the health field for over 10 years and her therapeutic background consists of working with kids, teens, young adults, families, and individuals on a variety of issues including: trauma processing, mood dysregulation, anxiety, building self-esteem, strengthening social skills, LGBTQ issues and gender identity

Alex is trained in EMDR, DBT, CBT and Solution-Focused Therapy as well as other comprehensive approaches including yoga philosophy, breathwork, mindfulness, body meditations and Ayurvedic-lifestyle.

Currently, Alex specializes in...

• Supporting and empowering folks to process deep-rooted trauma

• Approaching treatment through a holistic lens with a mind/body/soul connection

• Identifying constraints that block a person's ability to recognize and reach goals

• Mindfulness, breathwork and guided meditation

Alex as a person↓

• Personality: Peaceful, Calm and Open

• Activities: Movement (all movement is healing with no movement being too small), relearning to cook with her two-year-old daughter and spending time outdoors with her family

• Food & Drink: Alex loves MANY things but is currently loving golden milks, chai, poke bowls, olives, artichokes and cheese

• Travels: Alex is a former military wife with a lot of island experience living and working in Guam

• Quotes: “Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.” ― Marcus Aurelius

• Pets: 3 year old Chihuahua named Mimi

If you find yourself drawn to Alex, send us an email at info@bravecounseling.com and we will get you connected to her for a FREE consultation!