Self-Love Part 2: The Somatic Connection – Healing Through the Body
As holistic therapists, we’ve seen firsthand how the body holds onto our unprocessed emotions, unresolved stress, deep-seated patterns of protection or defense, and layers of wounding. Because of our culture, we often get taught to think of healing as something that happens in the mind – through insight, positive thinking, or talking things out. But true healing and transformation must also happen in the body and soul. Our nervous system, muscles, breath and posture all play a role in shaping how we feel about ourselves. This is the somatic connection: the profound way in which healing occurs through the body.
You can tell you have unresolved pain and wounding being stored in your body when you know you need to relate to yourself with compassion and love, but for some reason you just can’t get yourself to do it…instead your body wins out and you end up continuing the same old patterns of self-criticism, distraction, and shame.
How Emotions Are Stored in the Body
When we experience emotions, they don’t just disappear if we don’t fully process them. Instead, they get stored in our nervous system, muscles, and fascia. When we suppress anger, grief, or fear, our body adapts by tightening muscles, holding tension, or altering our breathing patterns. Over time, these stored emotions can contribute to chronic pain, fatigue, digestive issues, and a persistent feeling of being disconnected from ourselves.
One of the most overlooked consequences of unprocessed emotions is their impact on self-worth and self-love. When we carry unresolved pain and stress responses, our nervous system remains on high alert, interpreting the world (and ourselves) through a lens of survival. When we are in survival mode that’s the focus; there isn’t any attention or energy for anything else other than getting through. In this state, self-criticism becomes second nature, we struggle to feel worthy, loveable, or at peace in our own skin and life feels like a continuous struggle.
The Role of Body Awareness in Healing Shame and Self-Criticism
Shame, like other emotions, is a body-based emotion. It often manifests as a collapsing of the chest and solar plexus, a tightening of the throat, a shrinking inward, and an urge to isolate or hide. Shame is the feeling that “this part of me is not connectable” that “no one wants to know or be with this part of me.”
When we live in a chronic state of self-criticism, our nervous system reinforces the belief that we are not enough or there’s something wrong with us as we are. Healing this pattern requires more than just changing our thoughts – it requires reconnecting with the body in an energetically compassionate way.
Developing body awareness is a crucial step in healing shame. When we gently tune into our sensations, we begin to notice where we hold tension and self-protection. Instead of judging our body’s reactions, we can learn to approach them with curiosity and care. By doing this we experientially show our nervous systems and the shameful parts of ourselves that they are deserving of connection, that no emotion, thought, or behavior will cause disconnection or abandonment. This shift allows us to replace self-criticism with self-compassion – an essential foundation for self-love.
Building New Neural Pathways with Somatic Practices
Somatic practices help us rewire our nervous system and build new patterns of self-connection. Through movement, breathwork, and mindful body awareness, we can build neural networks that support self-compassion instead of self-judgment.
When we repeatedly engage in practices that signal safety and self-acceptance to the nervous system, our brain forms new pathways. This is neuroplasticity in action – the ability of our brain to change based on our experiences. Over time, the more we embody self-compassion aka live in a kind, accountable, and loving way the more natural it becomes.
A Somatic Practice for Accessing Self-Compassion: The Self-Love Body Scan
This simple yet powerful body scan helps access self-compassion by guiding you to connect with your body in a gentle, loving way.
Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and begin:
Ground Yourself – Feel the support of the surface beneath you. Let your body be held.
Breathe with Intention – Take slow, deep breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. With each breath, imagine softening into yourself.
Scan Your Body with Curiosity – Bring your attention to your feet. Notice any sensations – warmth, tingling, tension. Without judgment, simply observe. Continue scanning up through your legs, torso, arms, and head.
Offer Kindness to Each Area – As you move through each part of your body, silently say: “I see you. I honor you. I’m here with you.” If you feel resistance or discomfort, place a gentle hand on that area and breathe into it.
End with Gratitude – Place both hands over your heart. Take three slow breaths and whisper (out loud or internally) words of appreciation for who you are (including messy parts!).
Because this practice is experiential (not just about thinking) it helps rewire the nervous system to associate the body with safety, rather than shame or self-judgment. Over time, it nurtures self-compassion and deepens your connection to yourself.
Healing Through the Body
The mind-body-soul connection reminds us that healing is not just about changing our thoughts – it’s about embodying self-love. If you could think your way through to a more loving relationship with yourself, you would have done it already. When we release stored emotions, bring awareness to our body, and engage in compassionate practices, we transform our relationship with ourselves. We learn that we are not broken – we are carrying unprocessed experiences that are ready to be met with love. True healing happens when we listen to the body, honor its wisdom, and allow ourselves to feel safe, seen, and held within our own being. This is the path to deep, lasting self-love.
If you’re ready to release the inner blocks that are getting in the way of feeling your self-love, consider working with us! We are holistic therapists in Colorado with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you unraveling the patterns that are holding you back from truly loving yourself. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!