Building Emotional Resilience: Tools for Managing and Embracing All Emotions
As holistic therapists, we believe that emotions are not just fleeting feelings – they’re powerful messengers from our inner worlds. Rather than pushing them down (suppression), looking the other way (avoidance), or trying to control them, we can actually learn to regulate, manage, and embrace our emotions as part of a balanced life.
Check out our list below to learn how to approach emotions with compassion and curiosity, while also using somatic and holistic tools to support your overall well-being.
Befriend Your Emotions - Instead of getting annoyed with your emotions and attempting to get rid of them as quickly as possible, try thinking of your emotions as messengers and valuable guides. Being immersed in U.S. culture has taught us to label our emotions as “good” or “bad”, but in reality ALL emotions serve a purpose. If we can learn to get curious toward our emotions and let them guide us, they will take us to a need and give us an opportunity to meet that need. When emotions arise, try asking yourself:
“What is this emotion telling me?”
“What unmet need or value might it be highlighting?”
Regulate Emotions Through the Body - Our emotions don’t just exist in our minds, they actually live in our bodies! As previously mentioned, emotions are energy in motion, hence the term e-motion. And this energy we speak of is generated by the autonomic nervous system, so one of the best ways to manage and regulate your emotions is to get good at regulating the energy in your nervous system. Somatic (body-based) tools can help you release and regulate intense emotions. Here are a few somatic tools to try:
Grounding Techniques - Stand or sit with your feet connected fully to ground below you (try this outside with bare feet for an even stronger connection), breathe deeply, and imagine roots extending from your feet into the ground below you. This can stabilize your nervous system during moments that feel overwhelming, chaotic or confusing.
Shaking or Movement - Mammals in the animal kingdom naturally shake off stress, and since we too are mammals, we can do the same. The next time you’re feeling over-activated (anxiety, anger, etc.) try shaking out your arms, legs and torso (be sure to get the shaking all the way into your core) for 1-2 minutes to discharge tension and reset.
Belly Breathing - Our breath is closely linked to the vagus nerve which has a powerful effect in regulating the autonomic nervous system, so the next time you’re experiencing a fight-or-flight response (anxiety, anger) practice belly breathing. Place your hands on your stomach, inhale deeply (in an easy and gentle way) allowing your belling to expand, then exhale slowly. Do this for 2-5 minutes and notice how you feel afterwards.
Re-Orient, Re-Connect & Mobilize - If you notice yourself feeling underactivated (depressed, procrastinating, collapsed) your inner system needs more energy so try helping it out by intentionally adding some energy back into your nervous system. First, sit up, put your feet on the ground and take a look around at your surroundings allowing your head and neck to turn as you look around. Then, reach out and touch different textures and squeeze or pat your body to wake your skin and muscles back up. Last, mobilize your system by intentionally adding some energy back in, starting small at first (wiggling fingers and toes, stretching, creating friction and heat by rubbing your palms together quickly) then allow the movements to expand over time (sing, dance, push into the wall, run).
Mindfulness - Mindfulness is a tool that can help us in many areas of our lives, but in particular with emotion management and regulation. Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment as if your life depended on it (commitment is key!). Simply aim your attention at what you are experiencing inside then allow it to be there without judgement, and without rushing it along or clinging to it. Just see if you can allow it to be there and then allow it move
Distress Tolerance - What helps you tolerate discomfort? Building distress tolerance is key to being able to stay present with emotions and presence is crucial for emotional management, regulation and processing.
Practice Self-Compassion - When emotions feel messy or overwhelming, remind yourself that you’re human. Self-compassion can help discharge the intensity of the emotion allowing it to soften just enough so you can stay present with it and allow it move through. Speak to yourself as you would a dear friend:
“I’m not doing anything wrong by feeling what I’m feeling, it’s just what’s happening. It’s okay to feel this way, it’s allowed.”
“I am doing the best I can right now, with the information I have”
“This is really hard right now. I am really struggling. May I be kind to myself in these moments.”
Interoception & Proprioception - Interoception is the ability to sense and interpret internal bodily signals such as heartbeat and breath. It helps you identify how emotions manifest physically, like feeling a tight chest when you’re anxious or butterflies in your stomach when excited. Proprioception is the sense of your body’s position and movement in space. It helps you stay grounded and connected to the present moment, providing a physical anchor during emotional intensity. Holistic, somatic therapy and yoga are great ways to further develop your interoceptive and proprioceptive abilities which ultimately fosters a deeper mind-body connection, improving emotional resilience and self-regulation.
Embrace the Pause - When emotions surge, it’s tempting to react immediately because they can come with so much energy. Instead, practice pausing. Take 3 deep breaths and remind yourself: “I have the space to respond with intention.” This simple act can shift emotional reactions to mindful responses.
Safe Spaces for Expression - Emotions need an outlet. Whether through art, dance, writing, or processing with trusted friends or a therapist. For good mental health and overall well-being, it is crucial to find ways to express what is going on inside for you. This not only prevents emotions from being suppressed but it also helps you learn to embrace your emotions and understand yourself much more deeply.
Lean on Nature - Nature is one of our greatest healers because humans are part of nature (just like other mammals). Spending time outdoors can regulate emotions by connecting us to a sense of grounding and perspective.
Go for a mindful walk in nature paying attention to the sounds, smells, and textures around you.
Sit by a body of water and imagine it washing away emotional heaviness.
Use natural elements like essential oils (lavender for calm, citrus for upliftment) to engage your senses and anchor your mood.
Drive or hike up to a beautiful view where you can see for miles. Allow the immensity of this view to put you and your daily stressors into perspective.
Visualization - Visualization is a powerful tool to shift your perspective and regulate emotions. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by anger, try imagining it as a storm passing through you, or, if sadness feels heavy, visualize it as a flowing river returning you to a place of peace. Or, when an emotion with some charge comes through, try this:
Sit comfortable and close your eyes (if that feels okay) to block out visual distractions
Locate the sensation of the emotion somewhere in your body. There is no right or wrong, it's just what it feels like to you. Maybe the emotion is manifesting your chest, or jaw, or stomach, or eyebrows…feel into and see for yourself.
Then, put a color and shape to the emotion where it’s showing up in your body (maybe it feels like a red triangle between your shoulder blades)
Once you’ve gotten a sense of the message this emotion carries, then watch it transform into something softer or lighter, symbolizing the release or integration of the emotion.
What would it be like to try some of these tips and tools the next time you’re feeling a lot of emotional charge? Perhaps you’d like to bookmark this blog so you can easily find it during future moments of emotional angst.
Closing Thoughts
Emotions are like waves – they rise, peak, and eventually ebb. By using these holistic tools, you can learn to ride the waves of your emotions with grace rather than being pushed around or swept away. Remember, your emotions are not the enemy; they are your allies, guiding you toward a deeper understanding of yourself and the life you want to create.
If you’re ready to dive deeper into managing and embracing your emotions, consider working with us! We are a group of compassionate, holistic therapists who can resource with you effective, somatic tools to manage and regulate your emotions. Together, we can create a personalized toolkit to help you thrive emotionally and energetically so you can begin living the life you’ve always imagined for yourself!
To get in touch with us, just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!