10 Tips for Building Confidence
Are you tired of not feeling confident despite being told how great you are?
We get that. We really get that.
It’s so frustrating and painful to not be able to really know and recognize your own worth. Every day it feels like you’re having to live up to this idea of who other people think you are when on the inside you’re not feeling it.
Check out the list below for 10 tips on building confidence.
1. Get to know yourself DEEPLY - Go inward and get to know all parts of yourself. The more you bear witness to all the experiences you’ve had and how these experiences affected you, you will understand yourself better and you will see your strength. When you get clarity on your experiences you learn what your truth is and the more connected you are to your inner truth the more settled and confident you’ll feel.
Tools for getting to know yourself: holistic therapy, journaling, write your life story or create art about it:
2. Take action! - When you go and do and experience, it helps you build trust in yourself. Even if your first attempts aren’t super successful, you can feel proud of yourself for showing up to the challenge vs. shying away from it. Plus, the more you do something the better at it you get which gives you the embodied, or felt sense, that you can figure things out which is essentially what confidence is about. Confidence isn’t being someone who knows everything and anything (that’s not possible), confidence is about trusting yourself and knowing and feeling that who you are and what you bring to the table because of that is valuable.
3. Release your limiting beliefs - Limiting beliefs are beliefs that you are holding on a subconscious level that restrict your potential like “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t matter”. And, we ALL have them. These beliefs typically stem from past experiences, harmful cultural norms, attachment wounds, trauma and negative or stressful experiences. Releasing limiting beliefs involves self-reflection, challenging existing thought patterns and behaviors and we usually need a compassionate, neutral, third-party (like a therapist) to help us with this because you can’t see your own blind spots.
4. Keep promises to yourself - Set small goals like “make my bed each morning” or “start each day with a walk” – pick things that are VERY doable and things that you generally are interested in doing because that will help you actually do them! As you keep these promises to yourself each day, your brain will get a dopamine boost and you’ll feel a sense of achievement which will help you embody your self-belief aka confidence!
5. Befriend your inner critic - We all have a part of self that critiques us and sometimes it can feel like it’s criticizing you at every turn. Take the time to get to know this part of you and how it’s trying to help by criticizing you. Once you know and understand this part of you better, you can offer it new tools in the form of compassion, which still holds you accountable, but generates the type of energy you need to step up to challenges.
6. Limit your prep time - While it is generally good to prepare for presentations, dates or meetings, OVER preparation can reinforce your limiting beliefs like “I’m not capable”. Think about it…if you believed that you were in fact capable, then you wouldn’t be over preparing. Instead, you would trust that your skills will come through for you with the appropriate amount of preparation. So, set a timer for your preparation and stick to it!
7. Body language - Adopt a posture in your body that appears and feels confident like lifting your chin, broadening across the collarbone, a long and tall spine, etc. Postures like this actually change your internal physiology and start generating feelings of confidence! Also, through movement, nutrition and emotional self-care you can help your body get to a point where you and your body feels generally good and strong! Feeling good and strong in your body will help you feel more confident!
Not quite sure about this one…? Check out this Ted Talk by social psychologist Amy Cuddy
8. Face your fears - Confidence builds when we see ourselves overcoming the things we are afraid of because we have to access our courage and strength to work through fear. Start by creating a hierarchy of your fears, then start with the small ones and build!
9. Reflect on your successes - Think about it…you once wished and hoped for being where you are right now in your life, and somehow you got here! When you take time to reflect on your success and how you got from point A to point B, your confidence will build.
10. Lean on your supports - Receiving support from those in your support network significantly boosts your confidence by providing encouragement, valuable perspectives and constructive feedback that reinforce your self-belief. It also normalizes struggles through shared experiences, helping you learn and grow. Emotional and practical support reduces anxiety and equips you with resources, making challenges seem more manageable.
Remember, building confidence is a journey that involves continuous learning and growth. By using these 10 tips, you can start to change the way you view yourself and most importantly the way you feel on the inside.
And, as always we are here for you. We are compassionate, somatically trained, holistic therapists who LOVE helping women feel more confident. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website to connect with us today!
Connect with us for a free consultation at info@bravecounseling.com or 720-923-3033.