Understanding Emotions: What They Are and Why We Feel Them
One of the biggest barriers to experiencing better mental health and overall well-being is working through and working with emotions. SO many of us (my past self included) struggle to feel and process emotions effectively.
If you are someone who resonates with “the emotional struggle”, try not to be hard on yourself! It’s important to remember that as a nation, we aren’t great with emotions. We live in an emotionally phobic society so very few of our parents had emotional skillsets and therefore unable to meet our psychological and emotional needs growing up and they were also not able to teach us about emotions or emotion regulation.
Emotions are, however, an integral part of being human. They color our experiences, shape our decisions (whether we want to admit it or not), and connect us to ourselves and each other. Emotions are not just fleeting sensations that are to be avoided, instead, they are powerful messages from the mind, body, and soul offering insight into our inner worlds and how we relate to the outer world.
Keep reading if you’d like to grow in your capacity to be with, feel and process emotions and improve your mental health! In this blog post we will explore what emotions are, why we feel them, and how understanding them can lead to greater well-being.
What Are Emotions?
At their core, emotions are energetic responses to internal or external stimuli. They are energy-in-motion, hence the term “e-motion”. Emotions arise from a dynamic interplay between the brain, body and environment. Biologically, emotions originate in the brain’s limbic system, which processes sensory input and assigns meaning to experiences. These signals then cascade through the nervous system influencing physical sensations, thoughts, and behaviors.
Holistically, emotions are more than just chemical reactions; they are expressions of our essence and serve as bridges between our mental, physical, and spiritual states. For example, joy may feel expansive and light, while grief might feel heavy and grounding. These sensations inform us about our needs, boundaries, and desires.
Why Do We Feel Emotions?
Emotions serve many vital purposes:
Survival Mechanisms: Emotions like fear, anger, shame, guilt, and disgust evolved to protect us from harm. For example:
Fear - Alerts us to danger, triggering fight-flight-freeze responses to escape threats.
Anger - Lets us know that whatever is happening is not right. It alerts us to boundary violations so that we can course-correct via direct communication or reasserting what’s okay with us and what’s not.
Shame - A social emotion that evolved to promote behaviors beneficial for group living and survival. The emotion of shame discourages behaviors that might lead to rejection or exclusion from the group, which could have been fatal in ancestral environments where group membership was crucial for survival.
Guilt - A social emotion that evolved to promote behaviors beneficial for group living and survival. Guilt lets us know when we’ve done something wrong and motivates us to take accountability, make amends (if needed), and modify future behaviors to align with boundaries, promoting personal growth and adaptability.
Disgust - Helps us avoid harmful situations and substances (ex: spoiled food, unwanted sexual advances, pathogens, etc.)
Guidance Systems: Emotions act as internal compasses, pointing us toward what feels aligned or misaligned with our values and goals.
Decision Making - Emotions guide decisions in uncertain situations. For instance, feelings of anxiety may signal risks, while joy indicates positive experiences.
Social Connection: Emotions like love, empathy, and anger helps us navigate relationships, communicate effectively, and maintain meaningful bonds which is HUGE because as humans our brains are literally wired for connection. In other words, connection is something we need to feel healthy and well.
Love and Affection - Foster bonding and caregiving.
Guilt and Shame - Reinforce social norms and discourage behaviors that harm group dynamics.
Communication: Facial expressions and emotional behaviors convey intentions, facilitating non-verbal communication across individuals and even species.
Healing and Growth: Feelings such as sadness or anxiety invite introspection and growth, encouraging us to address unresolved issues and find our way back to balance and our natural state of peace.
Attachment, Needs & Regulation: Infants are born with an attachment system that is wired and ready to go because they cannot yet meet their own needs. Human babies need to connect and bond with their primary caregivers in order to survive. What this looks like in real life is an infant instinctually expressing an emotion like distress via crying to signal their needs (hunger, discomfort, needing to feel safe) to the adults around them so they can get their needs met and develop and grow.
Cognitive & Social Development: Emotions help shape memory, attention, and learning. For example children often remember emotionally charged events more vividly. Emotions also shape social development, like empathy and embarrassment teach us how to navigate relationships and social expectations.
Self-Awareness and Identity: Emotional experiences contribute to self-concept and identity formation because our emotions are directly linked to our needs and the meeting of our needs tells us that we matter and are worthy of having our needs met.
Motivation: Positive emotions (ex: pride, happiness) encourage goal-directed behavior, while negative ones (ex: frustration) highlight areas to get curious about in terms of boundary violations or something that is going awry.
Flow States: From a holistic perspective, emotions are also part of our energetic flow. When we suppress or ignore them, this flow becomes disrupted, potentially manifesting as physical tension patterns, illness, or mental distress.
The Holistic Approach to Emotions
As holistic therapists, we view emotions as sacred messengers not problems to be solved or eliminated. This perspective emphasizes:
Mind-Body Awareness - Emotions are felt physically. Anger may accumulate in the jaw, eyes/eyebrows, arms, and hands, while anxiety manifests in the chest and stomach, or sadness in the throat and heart. Tuning into these sensations helps us process feelings rather than bypass them and when we process emotions they release from our minds and bodies and we feel better.
Somatic Practices - Movement, breathwork, and mindfulness help us release stored emotions in the body, restoring energetic balance.
Emotional Literacy - Naming and acknowledging emotions is the first step toward understanding them. Are you feeling frustration, or is it unmet longing? Differentiating helps uncover the deeper meaning and what needs of ours are going unmet.
Integration - Emotions are neither “good” nor “bad”; they simply are. Embracing this non-judgemental stance allows us to fully experience and integrate our emotions into our lives.
Why Understanding Emotions Matters
When we truly understand our emotions, we empower ourselves to live authentically. Rather than being swept away by feelings or suppressing them, we can engage with them as allies. Emotional awareness actually fosters higher levels of resilience, better decision-making, and deeper relationships with ourselves and others.
Holistic therapy invites us to honor emotions as guides on our journey toward balance and wholeness. By working with our emotions – not against them – we align with our natural rhythms and open the door to profound healing and growth. And couldn’t we all use a bit more healing and growth?
Closing Thoughts
In understanding emotions, we come to see them not as obstacles but as essential guides in our lives. They are the signals that connect our inner experiences to the world around us, offering insight, motivation and connection. By recognizing their purpose and allowing ourselves to feel them fully, we open the door to greater self-awareness, healing, and growth. Emotions are not meant to be feared or suppressed (despite our society teaching us to relate to our emotions in these ways) – they are tools to help us navigate life’s complexities with authenticity and resilience. When we learn to embrace emotions, we unlock the power to live more intentionally, compassionately, and wholeheartedly.
Interested in a free consultation to learn more about your emotions? Head to the “contact tab” in the upper righthand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!