July 2024: Common Blocks to Play, Joy & Pleasure & a Mid Year Review in 5 Steps
Hello Brave Community!
As the sun shines brighter and temperatures rise, we find ourselves in the vibrant embrace of summer. The summer season is a time filled with solar energy and joy, it’s the perfect opportunity to celebrate life's moments, both big and small. Whether it’s a spontaneous picnic in the park, a long-awaited reunion with loved ones, or simply enjoying the warmth of a sun-drenched afternoon, summer invites us to savor each experience with a playful spirit and an open heart.
How has your summer been feeling?
Have you been able to play and feel joy?
Have you appreciated and celebrated?
If, upon reading this, you find yourself feeling sad, empty or frustrated, you are not alone. Despite the season supporting playful and joyful experiences, there are many of us that struggle to feel these things. Instead, your summer so far might be filled with work and stress. You find yourself longing for fun and play, but you aren’t quite sure how to shift the way you’re relating to your life. You aren’t quite sure how to let yourself feel joy and gratitude.
Don’t worry, we got you. Check out section 2 where we cover common blocks people experience when it comes to play, pleasure and joy.
Common Blocks to Play, Joy & Pleasure:
Throughout our lives, especially when we are growing and developing, we all go through stressful, painful and traumatic experiences. These experiences are often where our blocks to play, joy and pleasure are rooted. Check out the list below to see some common symptoms of attachment injuries and trauma which develop into blocks to play, joy and pleasure.
Stress & Anxiety - When experiencing stress and anxiety, the brain releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, activating the amygdala (responsible for the flight-fight-freeze survival responses) and impairing the prefrontal cortex, which is essential for presence. These responses can lead to heightened alertness and a focus on perceived threats, often at the expense of play, pleasure and joy.
Perfectionism - Despite it being a defensive or protective mechanism, the constant pursuit of perfection creates pressure and dissatisfaction, preventing one from finding joy in the present moment.
Guilt - Feelings of guilt can arise for some folks when they try to take time for themselves or experience pleasure. This flooding of guilt often stems from attachment-related wounding and trauma.
Fear of Judgment - Worrying about what others think can stifle spontaneity and playfulness, limiting one’s ability to express joy freely and receive pleasure. This fear of judgment often stems from relational trauma i.e. early and/or many experiences having been criticized, judged and disconnected from.
Negative Self-Talk - Constantly criticizing oneself or experiencing intrusive negative thoughts can dampen one’s mood and diminish the capacity for joy. Negative self-talk is often a byproduct or past relational traumas and attachment injuries.
Low Self-Esteem - A lack of self worth can lead to feeling undeserving of happiness and pleasure. Lacking a strong sense of self and self worth also traces back to attachment related injuries, developmental trauma, emotional neglect and relational trauma.
Overwhelm - Being overwhelmed with responsibilities and obligations can leave little room for relaxation and enjoyment. The tendency to overload oneself is a defense mechanism stemming from various types of trauma.
Depression - Depression can significantly impact one’s ability to feel any emotion, let alone joy, play and pleasure. Depression often manifests as a pervasive sense of sadness and disinterest and stems from repressed emotions that were never safe to fully feel.
Lack of Mindfulness - Being disconnected from the present moment can prevent one from fully appreciating and savoring the joyful experiences life has to offer. Chronic disconnection, disembodiment and distraction are also symptoms rooted in trauma and other stressful or painful experiences.
Isolation - Social isolation or lack of meaningful connection can reduce opportunities for shared joy and playful interactions. Isolation is a defensive or protective mechanism that often shows up in people who have experienced attachment injuries or relational traumas.
Fear of Vulnerability - Fear of being vulnerable can inhibit one’s willingness to engage in playful activities or express joy openly. Fear of vulnerability often stems from experiences of getting disconnected from, criticized, judged or abused when a person was fully themselves, expressing not only their strengths but also their silliness, fears and weaknesses.
So..if you are someone who struggles to truly feel & express joy, play and pleasure it is not your fault. Attachment injuries and traumas significantly impact an individual’s ability to experience play, joy and pleasure. These early wounds often lead to the development of symptoms and defense mechanisms (listed above) which were initially helpful in coping with distressing experiences, but ultimately they create barriers to engaging fully in life’s positive and spontaneous moments.
The good news is that attachment wounds and past traumas can be healed! Healing breaks down these defenses, allowing you to reconnect with your innate capacity for joy and to rediscover the lightness and freedom of play and pleasure.
Mid-Year Review:
We are halfway through the year. Yeppers, that's right! Half of 2024 is already behind us.
Some of us might have a clear recollection of where our time and energy has gone this year, and some of us might be thinking,"Woah, half way through already?! Where has the time gone?" Wherever you're at, we encourage you to take pause and begin a mid-year review process.
Step 1: Recall, Remind & Refresh! - Find and re-read your 2024 intentions and goals. Really take your time to just sit with your intentions and goals so that you have the clarity you need for step 2.
Step 2: What did you notice in your body?
Energy flowing throughout your body? Lack of energy or pressured energy?
Openness & spaciousness? Constriction & tension?
A sense of "I've got this"? A sense of doubt, uncertainty & fear?
The areas where you notice flowing, spacious energy and that sense of "I've got this" are areas of your life where you are resourced and therefore you'll continue healing, growing and expanding.
The areas where you notice lack of or pressured energy, constriction and a sense of doubt are areas in your life where you are in deficit and therefore you are blocked and stuck. This kind of energy can also mean that the goals or intentions you set are no longer aligned with who you are at your core.
Step 3: Reassess - Because we are complex, holistic creatures we rarely have a "one-note" experience. It's likely that you noticed a number of things when you reminded yourself of your New Year's goals and intentions.
This is not the time to shame or criticize yourself for lack of progress. Instead, we encourage you to reassess your goals and intentions to get clear on the exact next steps that are needed as you journey into the remaining 6 months of 2024.
Step 4: Journal & Reset - Complete the journal prompts listed below.
Do your 2024 New Year’s intentions and goals still align for you? If yes, what tells you that? If no, what tells you that?
For the goals and intentions that are still aligned: Is there anything you need to shift within yourself to support your progress?
For the goals and intentions that are no longer aligned: What is needed? A letting go? Or, can the intention or goal be shifted into alignment somehow?
In general, what needs to happen in your body and with your energy to achieve your 2024 goals?
Step 5: Compassion Not Criticism - Instead of trying to motivate yourself through criticism, motivate yourself from a place of compassion. Compassion actually creates more accountability for ourselves and allows us to move through challenging emotions like disappointment and guilt quicker.
Operating from a place of compassion and focusing your attention on your wins (even small wins) fills your body with a higher frequency energy which can propel you into the next 6 months! Compassion and celebration resource your inner system, whereas criticism floods your system with shame energy which is heavy and keeps you stuck.
Send us an email back to let us know how your mid-year review process goes!
Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!