Empathy vs. People Pleasing: Navigating the Fine Line

A heart-centered person in an emotionally phobic, overly logic-focused world 

• Always being aware of the energy flow and emotional connection between people

• Easily attuning to the inner state, or, feeling states & needs of others and being generous in meeting those needs

• Relationship and connection organize your life, not ideas or rules or power

• Always making sure everyone in the group is feeling included and happy

• Finding it easy to be a good listener and offering kindness, support and help to others

• Knowing the likes and dislikes of others

• Finding joy in making others feel better or happy

• Enjoyment in being with others and naturally skilled at being a “connector” i.e. bringing people together and creating community

• Good at nourishing others with love, food, connection, support, kindness and help

• Strong in right-brain functioning - emotional intelligence, receptivity and sensitivity 

• Open-hearted, accepting, trusting, slow to anger, quick to forgive and unlikely to judge others or hold a grudge 

• Able to find delight or appreciation in most things

• Happy, personable, playful and fun

• Capable of radiating so much love and kindness that it can influence or shift the energy of others

Who does this skill set belong to?

A people pleaser? An empathetic person? 

It’s okay if you’re feeling confused. It’s also okay if you found yourself resonating with the list of gifts and skills listed above. 

The truth is that both empathetic people and people pleasers use the same set of skills and even though they appear similar on the surface, empathy and people-pleasing are rooted in different places internally and lead to vastly different outcomes. Understanding and being able to discern between empathy and people-pleasing is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and personal well-being. 

What is Empathy?

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It involves putting yourself in another’s shoes and the ability to feel into a place within yourself that is the same emotion and sensation that the other person is feeling. 

The Roots of Empathy

Empathy is rooted in emotional nurturance and intelligence, self-compassion and extending that same compassion to others, and connection to self and self-worth and offering that same deep, meaningful connection to others.

What is People Pleasing?

People-pleasing, on the other hand, is a survival mechanism. People learn to be pleasing or likable to the people around them as a way to gain acceptance, avoid conflict and ensure safety in challenging environments. By prioritizing others’ needs and approval a person tries to reduce the risk of disconnection/rejection/abandonment, because when we are young we can’t yet meet all of our own needs therefore connection equals survival. 

If a person is having to people-please in their relationships in order to maintain the connection then they are not afforded the opportunity to be their truest, most authentic self which is where a human’s sense of self and self-worth comes from.

The Roots of People Pleasing

Unlike empathy, people-pleasing is rooted in wounding, fear, low self-worth (aka insecurity), protection and survival.

The Key Differences Between Empathy and People Pleasing

1. Motivation: Empathy is driven by a deep inner connection to yourself that fosters a genuine desire to connect and understand others, while people-pleasing is driven by emotional/psychological wounding that pushes you to maintain connection to others at whatever cost for “safety” and survival.

2. Boundaries: Empathetic individuals maintain healthy boundaries because they are connected to themselves and their worth and therefore able to recognize their own needs and limits. People pleasers struggle to set and hold boundaries because they’ve always had to focus outward on others and prioritize other’s needs over their own. 

3. Emotional Impact: Practicing empathy typically leads to fulfilling and balanced relationships. In contrast, people-pleasing often results in resentment, burnout, and emotional exhaustion.

4. Authenticity: Empathy encourages authentic connections based on mutual understanding. People-pleasing, however, leads to inauthentic interactions, as individuals didn’t get to know themselves deeply and then be their true selves because their attention had to be focused on how to gain approval from others.

If you’ve read this far, take a moment to pause and be kind to yourself. We know this is a lot to digest. 

Many people-pleasers consider themselves to be empaths which is understandable because both use the same set of skills. We know it can be challenging to learn that what you thought was empathy is actually people-pleasing and that the root of people pleasing is wounding and low self-worth. It would also make sense if you’re feeling uneasy right now about having low-self worth because it would be more pleasing to have high self-worth.

We want you to know that…

• Your people-pleasing and your low self-worth are not your fault

• You are not any less lovable because you struggle with self-worth

• You were never given the opportunity to get to know yourself and your worth because it was more important to your survival to focus on others

Understanding the distinction between empathy and people-pleasing is crucial for personal growth and healthy relationships. While empathy enriches our connections, people-pleasing erodes our sense of self. By cultivating self-awareness, practicing self-compassion and setting boundaries, it is possible to foster genuine empathy without losing yourself or compromising your own well-being. 

If you’re ready to shed the wounding and the protections, aka the people-pleasing, and step further into your gifts of empathy - we got you! Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

People Pleasing: What It Is, Where It Comes From, and Why It Hurts

Have you looked forward to spending time with family and friends only to find yourself drained and disappointed afterwards?

Do you get mad at yourself for smiling and nodding along, despite actually disagreeing with what’s being said?

Do you feel busy and stressed most days?

If you found yourself resonating with these questions, it could be that you have a tendency toward people-pleasing. Maybe you already know this because you searched “people-pleasing” and this blog popped up. Either way, you are not alone. 

In truth, people-pleasing is a protective mechanism that many women have. It’s not good or bad or right or wrong (although it can cause some undesirable symptoms and outcomes), it just is. And when you think about it, people-pleasing is a fairly understandable pattern of protective behavior given the circumstances i.e. the patriarchy, being raised by parents using outdated authoritative models of parenting, receiving an education in the public school system whose curriculums are predetermined and based on student control and compliance, etc.

People-pleasing is a deeply ingrained, protective pattern where an individual prioritizes others’ needs, desires and approval over their own well-being and preferences. This pervasive need to please others often looks like: 

• Always needing to perform really well or perfectly

• Difficulty saying “no”, not wanting to disappoint others 

• Overcommitting yourself, taking on too much, always being busy

• Being “chill”, easy-going, agreeable to others i.e. “a chameleon” 

• Chronic anxiety and feeling uneasy when feedback is not available or received

• Avoiding conflict and suppressing personal opinions, feelings and needs to try and “keep the peace”

• Frequently apologizing or saying “sorry” to preempt potential disapproval or anger from others 

• Often using pleasing language like, “I’m fine with whatever you want” or “It doesn’t matter to me” (even when it does)

• Sacrificing personal time and energy to cater to others at the cost of themselves

• Pretending to be interested, feigning interest or enthusiasm in topics or activities that don’t genuinely interest you

• Fear of emotional reactions, disconnection and rejection from others

• Energetically merging with others, feeling their emotions as if their your own and feeling responsible for changing their emotional state

Understanding the roots of people-pleasing is key to letting go of it which is essential for well-being. People pleasing is rooted in deep-seated fears and beliefs formed during early life experiences often within the context of relationships. At some point in time it was important for you to be “easy”, accommodating and helpful in order to maintain your connection to others with limited emotional capacities because when humans are young survival is dependent on connection.

When a person unconsciously uses the protective mechanism of people-pleasing over time it manifests psychologically, physically and spiritually - it becomes more like a way of being in the world, intertwined with your personality, which is why it can be so difficult to shake. 

As we mentioned earlier, ongoing people-pleasing will lead to undesirable symptoms and outcomes like…

• Chronic Stress & Anxiety - from constantly trying to predict, anticipate and meet others expectations or control their emotions by being likable or pleasing

• Low Sense of Self & Self-Worth - always looking outward to others for what is “right” and “good” does not allow much of an opportunity to focus on your emotions, needs and who you are therefore resulting in low sense of self and self-worth

• Physical Health Issues - chronic stress and anxiety, plus neglecting your own emotions and needs can lead to various health problems including headaches, sleep issues, gastrointestinal problems, etc.

• Burnout - overcommitting, not setting boundaries and neglecting your own emotions and needs can result in physical and emotional exhaustion

• Emotional Exhaustion - constant fatigue, overwhelm, decreased motivation and emotional numbness due to being emotionally depleted and drained from the excessive demands others to have on your emotions & energy and feeling others’ emotions as if they are your own

• Loss of Identity - constantly accommodating others and conforming to their expectations of you and the world makes it difficult to know your true self and desires

• Unhealthy Relationships - people-pleasing can attract people with manipulative behaviors, your needs overlooked/neglected, people can’t truly get to know you, co-dependent relationships 

• Resentment - sacrificing your own needs leads to feelings of anger and resentment toward others and your life

• Depression - persistent neglect of your emotions, needs and desires can contribute to feelings of anger, grief/loss, sadness, hopelessness and powerlessness

• Decision Paralysis - difficulty or inability to make decisions due to fear of upsetting or disappointing others with your choices

• Ineffective Communication - inability or difficulty expressing your true thoughts and feelings can lead to misunderstandings and lack of authentic connections

• Career Impact - overcommitting and not advocating for yourself can hinder professional growth and satisfaction

Oooof! People-pleasing can do quite a number on mental, physical and spiritual health so if you find yourself identifying with the information in this blog do your best to be compassionate toward yourself. Remember that people-pleasing isn’t something you’re choosing, you’re just stuck in an old pattern of protection that is possible to let go of now that you’re an adult with choice and autonomy. 

Ultimately, overcoming people pleasing is about embracing your authentic self. It’s a journey of self-discovery and self-love, where we learn that it’s okay and necessary to turn inward, focus on ourselves to receive and honor our needs and desires. By doing so, we can create more genuine and fulfilling connections with others, rooted in mutual respect and understanding. 

If you’re tired of feeling tired and living your life for everyone but yourself, it might be time to heal, grow and transform. Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit a contact form and ask us how we can support and guide you in letting go of people-pleasing!

Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!

Locked in the Body: The Neurobiological Impact of Trauma and Somatic Healing

“Recent studies and discoveries point out that we heal primarily in and through the body, not just through the rational brain. We can all create more room, and more opportunities for growth, in our nervous systems. But we do this primarily through what our bodies experience and do – not through what we think or realize or cognitively figure out.”

— Resmaa Menakem

“Until we understand that traumatic symptoms are physiological as well as psychological, we will be woefully inadequate in our attempts to heal them.”

— Peter Levine 

Trauma is not just a psychological experience; it has profound physical implications as well. When someone endures trauma, whether it’s from a single overwhelming event or chronic, repeated stress, these events get experienced through the body, therefore, it is also the body that stores these experiences. 

Understanding how trauma manifests in the body and utilizing somatic, or body-based, techniques and tools to release it is essential for deep healing and transformation to occur. 

How Trauma Manifests Physically

The Body’s Response to Trauma

1. Stress Responses: When faced with a traumatic experience, the body activates instinctual survival reactions, known as stress responses. When the brain’s limbic system detects a threat to a person’s safety (humans have many layers of safety - emotional, relational, physical or spiritual) a signal is sent for the release of adrenaline and cortisol to flood the inner system, preparing the body to confront or escape the threat. If the trauma is severe or prolonged, a person can wind up living in a chronic state of stress and survival, leading to constant states of hyper or hypo arousal. 

   1. Freeze Response: In some cases, particularly when escape or confrontation isn’t possible, the nervous system/body may enter a freeze state. This response can result in numbness, dissociation and a feeling of being stuck. 

Physical Manifestations

1. Muscle Tension: Chronic trauma can lead to persistent muscle tension, often in the neck, shoulders, and back. This tension can cause pain and limit mobility. 

2. Somatic Symptoms: Trauma can manifest as a variety of somatic (body-based) symptoms, including headaches, gastrointestinal issues and chronic pain. These symptoms are often misdiagnosed or attributed to other causes. 

3. Respiratory Issues: Trauma can affect breathing patterns, leading to shallow or rapid breathing. This can perpetuate a state of anxiety and further stress the body. 

4. Cardiovascular Strain: Prolonged stress from trauma can increase the risk of heart disease and other cardiovascular issues due to the constant presence of stress hormones in the system. 

How Trauma is Stored in the Body 

Trauma is stored in the body through a complex interplay of neural, hormonal and muscular responses. The body remembers trauma through:

1. Neural Pathways: Traumatic memories can become encoded in the brain’s neural pathways. These pathways can trigger physical responses even when the original trauma is not consciously remembered. 

2. Muscle Memory: Muscles can hold onto the tension and patterns of protection form during a traumatic event. This is why specific body parts often feel tight or painful in relation to certain memories or emotions. 

3. Autonomic Nervous System Dysregulation: If a person cannot fight or flee the stress response remains incomplete and the energy intended to mobilize the person for action gets stuck in the nervous system/body. Often, a secondary freeze response mediated by the parasympathetic nervous system occurs, causing a shutdown or dissociation which can leave the body in a state of immobility with high levels of stored energy leading to symptoms like chronic anxiety, fatigue and hypervigilance. 

4. Cellular Memory: Some theories suggest that trauma can be stored at the cellular level, potentially altering gene expression, impacting the immune system and affecting the body’s overall function and health. 

Understanding that trauma is not just a mental experience but a physical one is crucial for comprehensive healing. By recognizing how trauma manifests and is stored in the body, you can better address your symptoms and begin to finally heal. Somatic therapeutic modalities like sensorimotor psychotherapy, somatic experiencing (SE), somatic EMDR and somatic IFS offer a range of techniques to help release trauma stored in the body providing a pathway to holistic healing and well-being. 

If you or someone you know is struggling with the emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual manifestations of trauma, don’t hesitate to reach out! Working to heal trauma in a somatic way can be incredibly healing and transformative. Just head to the upper right-hand corner of our website to contact us and we will be in touch with you as soon as possible. 

Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!

More Than Meets the Eye: The Varied Roots of Trauma

Have you ever wondered if you’ve experienced trauma? 

You are not alone in feeling confused about this, some traumatic experiences are less obvious than others. Sometimes experiences are traumatic because it’s too much, too soon; other times it’s too little too late or not enough at all. 

Check out the following list to better understand the diverse array of experiences that can lead to trauma and trauma related symptoms. 

Types of Trauma:

• Acute Trauma - resulting from a single, specific event (car accident, natural disaster, sudden loss, etc.)

• Chronic Trauma - resulting from repeated and prolonged exposure to highly stressful events (ongoing domestic violence, long-term child abuse, etc.)

• Complex Trauma - exposure to multiple traumatic events and/or different kinds of trauma, often of interpersonal (between people) nature like repeated abuse, neglect, or domestic violence

• Developmental Trauma - trauma experienced during critical periods of childhood development, often due to neglect, abuse or inconsistent caregiving 

• Secondary or Vicarious Trauma - trauma experienced indirectly through exposure to another person’s traumatic experiences (therapists, first responders, healthcare professionals, case managers, kids/family members/loved ones, etc.)

• Emotional and Psychological Abuse - trauma resulting from lack of emotional nurturance/emotional neglect, verbal abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, belittling, degrading, and other forms of psychological harm, leading to diminished self-worth and trust

• Sexual Trauma - trauma resulting from sexual abuse or assault, impacting physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological well-being

• Relational Trauma - trauma occurring within important relationships, such as attachment injuries, betrayal, abandonment, or dysfunctional family dynamics

• Culture or Identity Trauma - trauma related to the experiences of discrimination, racism, or oppression based on one’s cultural, racial, religious or sexual identity

• Medical Trauma - trauma resulting from experiences related to medical procedures or chronic illness, including the fear and stress of serious health issues

• Grief and Loss Trauma - trauma experienced following the death or loss of a loved one, leading to intense emotional pain and distress

• Occupational Trauma - trauma resulting from experiences in high-stress or dangerous professions 

• Refugee or Immigration Trauma - trauma experienced by individuals fleeing war, conflict, persecution, or seeking a better life, often involving multiple traumatic events

• Institutional or Systemic Trauma - trauma resulting from experiences within institutional settings (prisons, orphanages, etc.) or system issues like injustice and corruption

Woah! Right?! It can be hard to wrap our heads around just how many experiences can cause psychological wounding aka trauma. 

It’s also important to note that trauma manifests differently depending on the kind of experience(s) that lead to it. For example, relational and developmental trauma often gets woven into a person’s personality because these kinds of experiences are happening as a person is growing up (developing) when neural networks and nervous system pathways are forming. Relational and developmental trauma look slightly less like classic PTSD symptoms and more like ways of being and relating, although PTSD symptoms can emerge as well. Whereas, with an acute traumatic experience, like a natural disaster, trauma symptoms will manifest more traditionally such as intrusions, avoidance, arousal and negative changes in  thinking & mood. 

The various roots of trauma and the different ways trauma symptoms can manifest (amongst other factors) is what makes it difficult for folks to know if they have experienced trauma. Generally speaking, *most* people have experienced trauma whether they are aware of it or not. And, as holistic therapists, we believe that all humans, trauma or no trauma, have had experiences in this human life that are in need of healing. 

If you’re feeling ready to heal, grow and expand beyond the life you know now, we are here for you. We are a group of trauma-focused, somatic therapists who can support and guide you beyond what you thought possible for yourself. Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch as soon as possible. 

Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!

Understanding Trauma: A Holistic Approach

“OMG that elevator ride was traumatizing! Has that person ever heard of deodorant!?” I chuckled to myself as I overheard this conversation amongst friends…sometimes it’s weird for us therapists out in the wild.  

Even though I was smiling and shaking my head, overhearing this little snippet got me thinking that the word trauma has become part of the popular vernacular, but in actuality, very few of us truly know what trauma is or what it means to be traumatized. 

The word ‘trauma’ is a Greek word that literally means ‘wound’ or ‘wounding’, but in a way that overwhelms the person’s ability to cope. We often think of trauma as the event(s) or experience(s) that happen to us, but really, trauma isn't the event or experience at all, it's what happens inside us as a result of what happened i.e. trauma is the psychological wound that is sustained from going through certain experiences. 

Psychological wounds are typically made up of...

• Unfinished stress responses, or, an OVER or UNDER activation of energy within the inner system aka dysregulation

• Disembodiment, because the intense stress and overwhelming emotions were too much for the mind, body & soul to handle all at once so the brain often employs dissociation as a defense mechanism which takes the person out of their body

• Lack of connection before, during and/or after the experience aka disconnection

• Limiting or trauma-related beliefs (the meaning a part of you made of the experience like, "I don't matter" or “I’m not good enough” or “Other people aren’t safe”)

As holistic therapists we aim to treat the whole person rather than just the symptoms of trauma. We believe that as humans we are complex and multi-faceted. We are not just mind, or just body…we are mind, emotion, body and soul and ALL of these dimensions get affected by trauma and therefore ALL of these dimensions must be tended to in order for healing to occur. 

Take a car accident for example. While it’s tempting to think that a car accident would affect someone the most physically, it’s often the case that the trauma of a car accident reaches far beyond just the physical injuries. A person who’s been traumatized by a car accident might start experiencing intrusive thoughts and imagery from their car accident (mental), filling their body with sensations of fear and terror (physical and emotional), pushing them to think about whether or not there’s any meaning to living this human life if it could just end at any instant (spiritual).

Woah, right?! This example also details another important feature of trauma which is trauma has the tendency to bleed across all spheres of a person’s life vs. staying contained to that one moment in time. 

At this point, you might find your brain wandering to the thought, “Well, I’ve been in a car accident and I wasn’t traumatized by it….so, how does that work?”

Another key facet of trauma is that it is deeply personal. It’s true that two people could experience the same thing and one can walk away unaffected while the other becomes traumatized. This is because as humans we are all different, uniquely ourselves. 

Even though we are all essentially the same recipe (blood, bone, tissue, ligaments, muscles, organs, etc.), we all have different backgrounds, different formative experiences that have shaped us. 

Early experiences shape our neural networking and the ways in which our neural networks are shaped can set us up to have a deep well of inner and outer resources, or….not so much. In the therapy world we call these protective factors, i.e. the things that can offer some protection against the effects of trauma. 

Protective factors are things like: a strong social network filled with healthy relationships, access to services, a stable home environment, supportive work or school environments, good physical health, supportive spiritual/religious beliefs & practices, education & knowledge, economic stability and inner resources (a strong sense of self & self-worth, problem solving skills, emotion regulation skills, interoception & proprioception, self-compassion, serotonin & dopamine levels, hormone levels, etc.).

As holistic therapists we understand that a major part of healing trauma is about reconnecting folks to a sense of safety and protection, which, for those that didn’t really have that to begin with, healing requires them to build and develop those things. This is why the length of time it takes to heal trauma is different for each person and why each person will need different things from their trauma healing journey.  

Viewing and healing trauma holistically is a comprehensive approach that sees beyond the symptoms to get at the root cause (the psychological wound) in order to attend to the whole person - mind, body and soul. Holistic healing blends powerful therapeutic techniques with traditional/ancient practices that not only help people process and release their traumatic experiences, but it also fosters resilience, self-awareness and a renewed sense of empowerment.

If you’ve been confused about whether or not you’ve experienced trauma, don’t hesitate to reach out to us by heading to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website and stay tuned! In our next blogs we will be offering information on the different experiences that can lead to trauma, as well as, how the body stores trauma and how somatic therapy can be particularly useful in healing trauma.

Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!

July 2024: Common Blocks to Play, Joy & Pleasure & a Mid Year Review in 5 Steps

Hello Brave Community!

As the sun shines brighter and temperatures rise, we find ourselves in the vibrant embrace of summer. The summer season is a time filled with solar energy and joy, it’s the perfect opportunity to celebrate life's moments, both big and small. Whether it’s a spontaneous picnic in the park, a long-awaited reunion with loved ones, or simply enjoying the warmth of a sun-drenched afternoon, summer invites us to savor each experience with a playful spirit and an open heart. 

• How has your summer been feeling? 

• Have you been able to play and feel joy? 

• Have you appreciated and celebrated? 

If, upon reading this, you find yourself feeling sad, empty or frustrated, you are not alone. Despite the season supporting playful and joyful experiences, there are many of us that struggle to feel these things. Instead, your summer so far might be filled with work and stress. You find yourself longing for fun and play, but you aren’t quite sure how to shift the way you’re relating to your life. You aren’t quite sure how to let yourself feel joy and gratitude. 

Don’t worry, we got you. Check out section 2 where we cover common blocks people experience when it comes to play, pleasure and joy.

Common Blocks to Play, Joy & Pleasure:

Throughout our lives, especially when we are growing and developing, we all go through stressful, painful and traumatic experiences. These experiences are often where our blocks to play, joy and pleasure are rooted. Check out the list below to see some common symptoms of attachment injuries and trauma which develop into blocks to play, joy and pleasure.

• Stress & Anxiety - When experiencing stress and anxiety, the brain releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, activating the amygdala (responsible for the flight-fight-freeze survival responses) and impairing the prefrontal cortex, which is essential for presence. These responses can lead to heightened alertness and a focus on perceived threats, often at the expense of play, pleasure and joy. 

• Perfectionism - Despite it being a defensive or protective mechanism, the constant pursuit of perfection creates pressure and dissatisfaction, preventing one from finding joy in the present moment. 

• Guilt - Feelings of guilt can arise for some folks when they try to take time for themselves or experience pleasure. This flooding of guilt often stems from attachment-related wounding and trauma. 

• Fear of Judgment - Worrying about what others think can stifle spontaneity and playfulness, limiting one’s ability to express joy freely and receive pleasure. This fear of judgment often stems from relational trauma i.e. early and/or many experiences having been criticized, judged and disconnected from. 

• Negative Self-Talk - Constantly criticizing oneself or experiencing intrusive negative thoughts can dampen one’s mood and diminish the capacity for joy. Negative self-talk is often a byproduct or past relational traumas and attachment injuries. 

• Low Self-Esteem - A lack of self worth can lead to feeling undeserving of happiness and pleasure. Lacking a strong sense of self and self worth also traces back to attachment related injuries, developmental trauma, emotional neglect and relational trauma. 

• Overwhelm - Being overwhelmed with responsibilities and obligations can leave little room for relaxation and enjoyment. The tendency to overload oneself is a defense mechanism stemming from various types of trauma.  

• Depression - Depression can significantly impact one’s ability to feel any emotion, let alone joy, play and pleasure. Depression often manifests as a pervasive sense of sadness and disinterest and stems from repressed emotions that were never safe to fully feel. 

• Lack of Mindfulness - Being disconnected from the present moment can prevent one from fully appreciating and savoring the joyful experiences life has to offer. Chronic disconnection, disembodiment and distraction are also symptoms rooted in trauma and other stressful or painful experiences. 

• Isolation - Social isolation or lack of meaningful connection can reduce opportunities for shared joy and playful interactions. Isolation is a defensive or protective mechanism that often shows up in people who have experienced attachment injuries or relational traumas. 

• Fear of Vulnerability - Fear of being vulnerable can inhibit one’s willingness to engage in playful activities or express joy openly. Fear of vulnerability often stems from experiences of getting disconnected from, criticized, judged or abused when a person was fully themselves, expressing not only their strengths but also their silliness, fears and weaknesses. 

So..if you are someone who struggles to truly feel & express joy, play and pleasure it is not your fault. Attachment injuries and traumas significantly impact an individual’s ability to experience play, joy and pleasure. These early wounds often lead to the development of symptoms and defense mechanisms (listed above) which were initially helpful in coping with distressing experiences, but ultimately they create barriers to engaging fully in life’s positive and spontaneous moments. 

The good news is that attachment wounds and past traumas can be healed! Healing breaks down these defenses, allowing you to reconnect with your innate capacity for joy and to rediscover the lightness and freedom of play and pleasure.

Mid-Year Review:

​​We are halfway through the year. Yeppers, that's right! Half of 2024 is already behind us.

Some of us might have a clear recollection of where our time and energy has gone this year, and some of us might be thinking,"Woah, half way through already?! Where has the time gone?" Wherever you're at, we encourage you to take pause and begin a mid-year review process. 

Step 1: Recall, Remind & Refresh! - Find and re-read your 2024 intentions and goals. Really take your time to just sit with your intentions and goals so that you have the clarity you need for step 2. 

Step 2: What did you notice in your body?

• Energy flowing throughout your body? Lack of energy or pressured energy?

• Openness & spaciousness? Constriction & tension?

• A sense of "I've got this"? A sense of doubt, uncertainty & fear?

The areas where you notice flowing, spacious energy and that sense of "I've got this" are areas of your life where you are resourced and therefore you'll continue healing, growing and expanding.

The areas where you notice lack of or pressured energy, constriction and a sense of doubt are areas in your life where you are in deficit and therefore you are blocked and stuck. This kind of energy can also mean that the goals or intentions you set are no longer aligned with who you are at your core.

Step 3: Reassess - Because we are complex, holistic creatures we rarely have a "one-note" experience. It's likely that you noticed a number of things when you reminded yourself of your New Year's goals and intentions. 

This is not the time to shame or criticize yourself for lack of progress. Instead, we encourage you to reassess your goals and intentions to get clear on the exact next steps that are needed as you journey into the remaining 6 months of 2024. 

Step 4: Journal & Reset - Complete the journal prompts listed below.

• Do your 2024 New Year’s intentions and goals still align for you? If yes, what tells you that? If no, what tells you that?

• For the goals and intentions that are still aligned: Is there anything you need to shift within yourself to support your progress?

• For the goals and intentions that are no longer aligned: What is needed? A letting go? Or, can the intention or goal be shifted into alignment somehow?

• In general, what needs to happen in your body and with your energy to achieve your 2024 goals?

Step 5: Compassion Not Criticism - Instead of trying to motivate yourself through criticism, motivate yourself from a place of compassion. Compassion actually creates more accountability for ourselves and allows us to move through challenging emotions like disappointment and guilt quicker.

Operating from a place of compassion and focusing your attention on your wins (even small wins) fills your body with a higher frequency energy which can propel you into the next 6 months! Compassion and celebration resource your inner system, whereas criticism floods your system with shame energy which is heavy and keeps you stuck. 

Send us an email back to let us know how your mid-year review process goes!

Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!

Embracing Your Inner Child: Healing Depression by Healing Your Inner Child

Depression is a complex and multifaceted condition that affects millions of people worldwide. As holistic therapists we have witnessed firsthand the profound impact of inner child healing for alleviating depressive symptoms and we believe it to be one of the most effective forms of treatment for depression. 

Inner child healing is a therapeutic method where you, as the adult you are now, can go back on an internal level and witness what your younger self went through and then help and heal your child self who was not able to feel and express their emotions and true self. 

This approach delves deep into the core of our emotional experiences, addressing wounds that may have been inflicted during our formative years. By nurturing our inner child, we can uncover the root causes of our pain and begin the journey toward healing. 

Understanding the Inner Child

The concept of the inner child refers to the part of ourselves that retains the innocence, creativity and vulnerability of our early years. Your inner child holds memories, emotions and experiences from childhood that significantly influence your adult life. When these early experiences include trauma, neglect, attachment injuries or unmet emotional needs, your inner child can carry these wounds into adulthood, manifesting as depression, anxiety, relationship problems, chronic dissatisfaction, and other mental health issues. 

The Connection Between Inner Child Healing and Depression

Why inner child healing for depression? Because depression is a manifestation of symptoms stemming from suppressed, unprocessed emotions, or, unresolved emotional pain and a disconnection from our true selves. 

Suppression is a protective or survival strategy that many people have to adopt early on in their lives (usually in childhood) in order to stay connected to people who provide them with care and meet their needs. As humans we have to have at least some of our needs met to survive so staying connected to others when we are young is essential. 

By reconnecting with and healing our inner child, we address these deep-seated wounds and create a foundation for lasting emotional well-being. This process involves:

• Building a loving, supportive and connected relationship to our inner child

• Witnessing how our inner child was hurt

• Feeling the emotions our inner child felt back then in our bodies now in order to finally release the bound up energy of those emotions

• Acknowledging and validating these feelings for our inner child

• Offering compassion, connection, support and new information to our inner child

As you may be able to sense in reading the process of the inner child healing, it can lead to profound shifts in our mental and emotional states. Inner child healing is not a quick fix, but a profound journey of self-discovery and personal growth. As we heal our inner child, we release the emotional burdens of the past and create a space for a more authentic and fulfilling life. This type of healing can lead to:

• Enhanced Emotional Resilience - By healing past emotional and psychological wounds we are better able to integrate our inner child which allows for greater emotional resilience and the ability to cope with many different kinds of life challenges. 

• Improved Sense of Self and Self-Esteem - Getting to know and nurture our inner child helps to build a stronger sense of self (knowing deeply who you are, what your values are and why those are your values), improved self-worth (knowing and feeling your value) and increased self-acceptance. 

• Deeper Relationships - Healing our inner child allows us to form healthier and more authentic connections with others because we can finally be all of who we are in relationships without protective mechanisms or wounds from the past influencing things. 

• Increased Joy and Fulfillment - Reconnecting with our inner child brings a sense of joy, wonder, creativity and playfulness back into our lives which give ways to wanting to engage more with life, others and the the world around us. 

If you’re someone who’s over just managing your depression symptoms and you’re ready for a deeper, more transformative approach, try inner child healing. By nurturing this vulnerable part of ourselves with compassion and understanding, we pave the way for a future filled with more connection, freedom, emotional resilience and joy! 

Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!

From Dysthymia to Bipolar: The Four Shades of Depression

Did you know that there are 4 different kinds of depression? 

Yeppers, it’s true. 

The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, used for diagnosing mental health disorders) identifies 4 main types of depression: Major Depressive Disorder, Persistent Depressive Disorder, Seasonal Affective Disorder and Bipolar Depression. 

Curious to know more? Keep reading for a brief description of each type, as well as, a list of symptoms that are specific to each kind of depression. 

Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)

Often simply called depression and is characterized by a persistent feeling of sadness or lack of interest. To be diagnosed with MDD a person must experience at least 5 of the following symptoms during the same 2-week period, with at least 1 of the symptoms being either depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure:

• Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day

• Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most days

• Significant weight loss or weight gain (when not dieting), or a decrease or increase in appetite

• Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day

• Restless or slowed down movement in the body nearly every day

• Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day

• Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt

• Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness

• Recurrent thoughts of death, recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or specific plan for committing suicide

Persistent Depressive Disorder

Also known as dysthymia, which is a chronic form of depression. The symptoms are not as severe as major depressive disorder, but they last much longer. For a diagnosis, a person must experience depressed mood for most of the day, for more days than not, for at least 2 years, along with at least 2 of the following symptoms:

• Poor appetite or overeating

• Insomnia or hypersomnia

• Low energy or fatigue

• Low self-esteem

• Poor concentration or difficulty making decisions

• Feelings of hopelessness

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

A type of depression that occurs at a specific time of year, usually in the winter when there is less natural sunlight. Symptoms of SAD include:

• Depressed mood

• Lack of energy

• Difficulty concentrating

• Changes in sleep patterns, such as sleeping too much

• Changes in appetite or weight, typically with a craving for carbohydrates

• Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed

• Feelings of hopefulness or worthlessness

• Social withdrawal (feeling like “hibernating” instead)

Bipolar Disorder (Bipolar Depression)

Bipolar Disorder involves episodes of both depression and mania or hypomania. Bipolar depression refers to the depressive episodes of this disorder. Symptoms during these episodes are similar to those of major depressive disorder and include:

• Depressed mood 

• Loss of interest or pleasure in most activities

• Significant weight loss or weight gain

• Insomnia or hypersomnia

• Psychomotor agitation or retardation

• Fatigue or loss of energy

• Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt

• Diminished ability to think or concentrate

• Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide

Bipolar disorder is categorized into:

• Bipolar I Disorder: manic episodes lasting at least 7 days, or manic symptoms that are so severe that immediate hospital care is needed. Depressive episodes occur as well, typically lasting at least 2 weeks.

• Bipolar II Disorder: a pattern of depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes, but not the full-blown manic episodes that are typical of Bipolar I Disorder. 

As you can see, each type of depression has its own unique characteristics and diagnostic criteria as well as some overlap with other depressive disorders. Knowing some general information and symptoms of each type can be incredibly helpful to you, or a loved one, getting the right kind of care.  

If you find yourself wanting to know more, reach out to us! We can easily set up a free consultation with you to answer your questions and get you connected to the right kinds of care if that’s something you or your loved one would like.

Connect with us for a free consultation by filling out the form on our contact page or call us at 720-923-3033. 

Understanding What Depression Really Is: Symptoms and Holistic Insights

Despite depression being one of the more well-known mental health struggles, many of us don’t really know what depression truly is and what it means to be living with depression.

Depression is deemed a mental health disorder by the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) and mainstream mental health. The DSM characterizes depression by a variety of symptoms that generally fall into 4 categories - emotional, cognitive, physical and behavioral. Check out the list below to see how depression manifests in the human body and psyche:

Emotional Symptoms:

• Persistent sadness, anxiety or empty mood

• Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism

• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness

• Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities once enjoyed

• Mood swings, including irritability or frustration

• Feeling emotionally flat or “blah”

• Tearfulness or frequent crying spells

Cognitive Symptoms (mental actions):

• Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions

• Persistent thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts

• Negative thoughts and/or view of oneself and one’s future

Physical Symptoms:

• Changes in appetite, over or under eating, weight loss or weight gain unrelated to dieting or another health condition

• Insomnia or oversleeping

• Restlessness or slowed movements

• Fatigue or loss of energy

• Aches or pains, headaches, cramps or digestive problems without a clear physical cause and that do not ease even with medical treatment

• Loss of libido or decreased sexual desire

Behavioral symptoms:

• Social withdrawal or isolation

• Reduced participation in work, school or other activities

• Neglect of personal responsibilities and self-care

• Use of substances such as marijuana, alcohol or other drugs to cope

• Slowed speech and/or movement

• Increased sensitivity to rejection or failure

Oooof! Let’s take a moment to acknowledge how depression makes living and functioning incredibly difficult and exhausting. Let’s move forward with compassion in our hearts for ourselves and those we care about who are living with depression.

As holistic therapists, we don’t think of depression as a disorder but rather as an emotional, psychological and nervous system state that people get stuck in due to repressed emotions. 

Think about it…depression literally means to depress something, i.e. to push something down. So…what’s  getting pushed down when we are speaking about depression? Emotions. Emotions are what’s getting pushed down which is why many people who are depressed feel so flat or “blah”.  

You might be wondering why? Why would someone push down their emotions if it leads to such a painful and debilitating existence? 

Often there are a confluence of factors that contribute to the development of depression, but to simplify things, depression essentially stems from not having a safe environment where you could feel and express your true emotions i.e. be your true self.  

In the United States our culture is emotionally phobic so those of us that grew up here and live here present day have been socialized (aka trained) to repress our emotions. Many of us also grew up in homes where it wasn’t safe to express our emotions, instead we heard things like, “Go to your room until you calm down!” or “Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about!”. In our public school system kids are expected to sit quietly and pay attention for 8 hours a day and when bursts of excitement or frustration come through their bodies they may get scolded by the teacher or put in a corner by themselves. 

These are just a few examples of emotionally unsafe environments (there are many ways in which power, privilege and oppression create unsafe environments as well, but that is a whole topic in itself for another time). Long story short, the environments many of us grew up in were not, and in many ways are still not, conducive to feeling and expressing one’s true emotions. 

So…instead of being our full selves we learn what’s expected of us, what’s acceptable, what ways of being allow us to maintain connection and belonging, and we do that. This is the other piece to depression - feeling pressured to put on a mask that’s acceptable and enjoyable to others. To put out that you’re functioning and normal and happy and grateful…it’s like playing a character in your life vs. truly being yourself. And it’s exhausting and painful. 

When we can’t express our true feelings they become repressed and build up like plaque internally. This build up of unprocessed emotions causes autonomic nervous system dysregulation and the nervous system of a person living with depression often gets stuck in a protective state called hypoarousal. 

A hypo-aroused state in the nervous system or body is a protective state of collapse or shut down. It’s a way of protecting that person from the emotions that have built up inside because the inner system has been shown that it’s not safe to feel, process or express those emotions. When the nervous system gets stuck in hypoarousal there isn’t enough energy in the body so a person will feel tired, disconnected, flat and will lack energy to do things amongst other symptoms.

We share all this about depression because we want you and others to know it’s not your fault. Many folks who have depression also struggle with being ashamed of having depression. It’s the, “Why can’t I just be normal, live life and be happy like everyone else?” story. The reality is, you and others aren’t choosing to be depressed. Your nervous system is keeping you in a state of protection because it was never safe for you to feel and express your emotions and needs. 

AND! We want you to know that it is possible to retrain and rewire your inner system to know that it’s okay and safe to feel, express and process emotions and that doing so will give you back your energy, allow you to feel more engaged in your life and relationships and ultimately feel like you again - present, confident and empowered! 

Sounds good huh? Feel free to reach out at any time to schedule a free consultation with us and stay tuned here on Brave Embodiment’s blog to learn about the 4 different types of depression and to see why inner child healing is particularly effective for depression.

Connect with us for a free consultation by filling out the form on our contact page or call us at 720-923-3033. 

10 Mindful Summer Living Tips + 3 Summer Solstice Rituals

Hello Brave Community! 

Summer is here and it tends to bring with it a mix of different energies.

Summer is often associated with growth and abundance. With the long days and plentiful sunlight, it’s a time for expansion and embracing the fullness of life. Spiritually, summer symbolizes clarity, enlightenment and the illumination of the soul. 

The warmer weather and longer days typically lead to more outdoor activities and socializing, which can promote a sense of vitality and engagement with life. Exposure to natural sunlight can increase serotonin production which elevates mood and can reduce feelings of depression. Summer vacations and breaks from routine provide opportunities for rest, relaxation and play. 

While all these things can be true, at the same time many of us have parts of ourselves that feel nostalgic when summer arrives. The smell of fresh cut grass and the sound of thunder storms rolling through skies fill our minds and bodies with memories from when we were younger and had a full on summer break away from the demands of school. 

As adults, it can be emotionally confusing and frustrating to have desires to play, rest and relax yet still be committed to work in order to pay our bills and afford our lifestyles. Internally, summer can feel like a tug-of-war between responsibility and play. 

To try and resolve this inner tug-of-war many of us find ourselves aiming to do it all. We run ourselves ragged working all week trying to get ahead because we are going out of town most weekends or scheduling multiple trips that require us to take time away from work, not to mention, attending all the social gatherings…summer can also be a time of extreme busy-ness instead feeling playful, relaxing and restful. 

Are you tired of living your summers in your head and feeling overly busy?

Are you ready to actually feel present and absorb the fun and relaxation of your summer? 

Check out the next section for some mindful summer living tips!

Mindful Summer Living Tips

These summer living tips are rooted in intentionality and mindfulness which experience and research shows lead to increased presence, peace and joy. Give them a try and let us know how it goes! 

Meditate - Incorporate daily meditation into your routine - even just a few minutes can have a powerful effect! Guided meditation apps like Headspace, Calm or Insight Timer can be helpful. 

Set Boundaries - Learn your body’s signals for “yes” and “no”. When you have clarity about these signals in your body you will say “yes” when it’s truly a “yes” and “no” when you can’t or don’t want to. Having boundaries helps you avoid overextending yourself which leads to stress and feeling mentally and physically unwell. 

Prioritize Self-Care - Make self-care non-negotiable even when traveling or socializing. Ensure you have time for activities that nourish you like sleep, meditation, hydration, nutritious meals, your embodiment practice/movement and alone time. 

Pack Smart - When traveling, pack items that help you maintain your routine like a yoga mat, nutritious snacks, a journal, a laptop to stay consistent with therapy sessions, as well as familiar items that can provide comfort and continuity. 

Pre-Trip Prep & Travel Mindfully - Prepare for trips in advance to reduce last-minute stress. Create reusable lists, pack early and plan your itinerary to include down time. If possible use your travel time for sleep/rest, meditation, reading/listening to audiobooks/podcasts or listening to enjoyable or calming music. 

Loving-Reminders - Take 5-10 minutes to set up recurring alarms on your phone to help you keep track of your routine activities like meal times, hydration, meditations and breaks. 

Mindful Scheduling - Prioritize your commitments and BE SURE to schedule downtime. Use a planner or electronic calendar to allocate time for work, social activities and self-care, to ensure you have balanced and manageable days. 

Time in Nature & In or Near Water - Prioritize spending time in nature to recharge and in particular time in or near water as it has a calming effect on the human nervous system.

Practice Presence - Practice being in the moment without thinking about what’s coming next. Mindfulness can help you savor your experience, reduce overstimulation that can happen when you are trying to track too many things and reduce stress. 

Therapy - Do your best to stay consistent with weekly, bi-weekly or monthly therapy sessions over your summer.  With how busy things can get, it can be tempting to cancel sessions, but therapy is a great way to stay connected to yourself and hold space for your inner world during a time where so much of your focus is going outward. 

Summer Solstice Rituals

The summer solstice takes place on June 20th this year. The summer solstice is a time celebrated by many cultures for its spiritual significance and psychological symbolism of light, growth and life. It represents a peak of solar energy, making it a powerful time for connection, personal reflection and setting intentions.

If you’re looking to feel more connected to yourself and your loved ones, try out all or one of the summer solstice rituals listed below:

Solstice Feast - Prepare a meal using seasonal, locally sourced foods and share this meal with your loved ones. At some point during the meal take some time to intentionally express gratitude for the long days of summer, the abundance of nature and each other.

Journal - Journal together and share out loud whatever feels right to share with each other.

• How has the first half of the year been for you?

• What are the key highlights and challenges you’ve experienced so far this year?

• How are your new year intentions going so far? In what ways are you in alignment with what you set out to do or experience this year? In what ways are you out of alignment? What 2024 goals or intentions need re-evaluating? 

• Describe a memorable experience you’ve had in nature recently. How did it make you feel?

• How do you plan to connect with nature this summer?

• What does the summer solstice mean to you? How do you celebrate it?

• Write about a tradition or activity that brings you joy during the summer.

• What energizes you? How can you bring more of this energy into your daily life?

Water Ritual - Since the solstice is also about balance, a water ritual is a great way to complement the solar energy that is at its highest this time of year. Try a dip or a swim in a lake or a reservoir to engage in the practice of intentionally cleansing your system to give way to renewal, growth and abundance. 

And…if you find yourself sinking instead of swimming this summer, we are here for you! Just send an email to info@bravecounseling.com to set a up a FREE consultation to see how we can support and guide you toward less stress & anxiety and more joy & abundance!

10 Tips for Building Confidence

Are you tired of not feeling confident despite being told how great you are?

We get that. We really get that. 

It’s so frustrating and painful to not be able to really know and recognize your own worth. Every day it feels like you’re having to live up to this idea of who other people think you are when on the inside you’re not feeling it.

Check out the list below for 10 tips on building confidence. 

1. Get to know yourself DEEPLY - Go inward and get to know all parts of yourself. The more you bear witness to all the experiences you’ve had and how these experiences affected you, you will understand yourself better and you will see your strength. When you get clarity on your experiences you learn what your truth is and the more connected you are to your inner truth the more settled and confident you’ll feel.

Tools for getting to know yourself: holistic therapy, journaling, write your life story or create art about it:

2. Take action! - When you go and do and experience, it helps you build trust in yourself. Even if your first attempts aren’t super successful, you can feel proud of yourself for showing up to the challenge vs. shying away from it. Plus, the more you do something the better at it you get which gives you the embodied, or felt sense, that you can figure things out which is essentially what confidence is about. Confidence isn’t being someone who knows everything and anything (that’s not possible), confidence is about trusting yourself and knowing and feeling that who you are and what you bring to the table because of that is valuable. 

3. Release your limiting beliefs - Limiting beliefs are beliefs that you are holding on a subconscious level that restrict your potential like “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t matter”. And, we ALL have them. These beliefs typically stem from past experiences, harmful cultural norms, attachment wounds, trauma and negative or stressful experiences. Releasing limiting beliefs involves self-reflection, challenging existing thought patterns and behaviors and we usually need a compassionate, neutral, third-party (like a therapist) to help us with this because you can’t see your own blind spots. 

4. Keep promises to yourself - Set small goals like “make my bed each morning” or “start each day with a walk” – pick things that are VERY doable and things that you generally are interested in doing because that will help you actually do them! As you keep these promises to yourself each day, your brain will get a dopamine boost and you’ll feel a sense of achievement which will help you embody your self-belief aka confidence!

5. Befriend your inner critic - We all have a part of self that critiques us and sometimes it can feel like it’s criticizing you at every turn. Take the time to get to know this part of you and how it’s trying to help by criticizing you. Once you know and understand this part of you better, you can offer it new tools in the form of compassion, which still holds you accountable, but generates the type of energy you need to step up to challenges. 

6. Limit your prep time - While it is generally good to prepare for presentations, dates or meetings, OVER preparation can reinforce your limiting beliefs like “I’m not capable”. Think about it…if you believed that you were in fact capable, then you wouldn’t be over preparing. Instead, you would trust that your skills will come through for you with the appropriate amount of preparation. So, set a timer for your preparation and stick to it! 

7. Body language - Adopt a posture in your body that appears and feels confident like lifting your chin, broadening across the collarbone, a long and tall spine, etc. Postures like this actually change your internal physiology and start generating feelings of confidence! Also, through movement, nutrition and emotional self-care you can help your body get to a point where you and your body feels generally good and strong! Feeling good and strong in your body will help you feel more confident! 

Not quite sure about this one…? Check out this Ted Talk by social psychologist Amy Cuddy

8. Face your fears - Confidence builds when we see ourselves overcoming the things we are afraid of because we have to access our courage and strength to work through fear. Start by creating a hierarchy of your fears, then start with the small ones and build!

9. Reflect on your successes - Think about it…you once wished and hoped for being where you are right now in your life, and somehow you got here! When you take time to reflect on your success and how you got from point A to point B, your confidence will build.

10. Lean on your supports - Receiving support from those in your support network significantly boosts your confidence by providing encouragement, valuable perspectives and constructive feedback that reinforce your self-belief. It also normalizes struggles through shared experiences, helping you learn and grow. Emotional and practical support reduces anxiety and equips you with resources, making challenges seem more manageable. 

Remember, building confidence is a journey that involves continuous learning and growth. By using these 10 tips, you can start to change the way you view yourself and most importantly the way you feel on the inside. 

And, as always we are here for you. We are compassionate, somatically trained, holistic therapists who LOVE helping women feel more confident. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website to connect with us today! 

Connect with us for a free consultation at info@bravecounseling.com or 720-923-3033. 

Healing: Why Your Best Investment is in Your Own Well-Being

Holistic therapy is a GREAT way to invest in yourself and your life. 

Did your brain just think, "but…it’s SO expensive" ?! 

Woah! Spooky, right?! 

No, we can’t read your mind. “It’s too expensive” along with… 

• “I don’t have time”

• “I don’t want to open that can of worms”

• “It won’t work” 

…are the top four ego excuses for postponing healing and growth work (aka self-development). 

WE GET IT. It is incredibly challenging to invest in yourself when you’re living in a patriarchal, capitalistic society. And that’s really where those top 4 ego excuses come from. 

The "I don’t have time" excuse completely makes sense in our fast-paced modern world. SO many of us are scheduled back-to-back, all day, every day and when we look at our schedules there really is NO room for one more thing.

So, how do you do personal development work when your schedule won't allow it?

First, you gotta recognize that fitting one more thing into your schedule isn't the problem. Your overloaded schedule is the problem. Your schedule being SO packed is actually a manifestation of internalized patriarchy and capitalism and unresolved internal wounding. And…staying busy was the way your nervous system figured how to cope.

The “I don’t want to open that can of worms” excuse is really a fear of getting stuck in the pain which is a valid fear. It's likely that there have been times in the past where emotions bubbled up and over and you did feel stuck in your pain. However, there is a way to feel and process your emotions in a way that is safe. A way that doesn't involve getting stuck in the yuck. Holistic, body-focused internal work is a key because it helps you learn how to feel all the way through an emotion with presence vs. getting flooded.

The “It won’t work” excuse also completely makes sense. No one wants to spend their time, energy and money on something that doesn't benefit them. However, it's important to explore the flip side of this thought too. 

Could thoughts like this be part of an old protective pattern? Maybe there's unresolved pain from past experiences of being let down again and again in relationships with others, or, maybe someone significant to you has a rigid view on therapy and a part of you internalized that same belief in order to stay in connection with them...

When we slow down our ego excuses that pop up so quickly and absolutely, we begin to see that there's a whole other side to the picture.

In Denver the market rate for a 50-60 minute therapy session is $100-$200. So yes, we understand that therapy, or doing the inner work guided by a professional, is expensive. But, instead of viewing self-development work as something you “don’t have time for” or that's "just too expensive" and stopping there, we encourage you to really look at holistic therapy as one THE BEST INVESTMENTS you can make.

Participating in holistic therapy will literally touch EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE. When we spend the money and the time to intentionally heal and grow the pay off is exponential!

The benefits of self-development work are numerous but here are a few common ones:

• Deeper connections & healthier relationships

• Better work-life balance

• Decreased somatic symptoms like chronic pain, headaches and gut issues/generally feeling GOOD in your body

• More purpose and sense of direction in life

• Living in alignment with your true values

• An overall sense of ease & abundance

• Higher earning potential because you know your worth

• Showing up confidently in all areas of your life

Therapy is not just a space to talk about specific issues, it is also a place you can create deep healing and lasting transformation so you can live the life you’ve always dreamed of living. The life you can feel deep down in your bones that you are meant to live and you can’t get there unless you know yourself deeply which holistic therapy will help you do.

Remember, the relationship you have with yourself will be the longest one you ever have, so why wouldn’t you invest in that? Stop letting internalized patriarchal messaging convince you that self-development work isn’t worth it because really it's an investment in YOU. And YOU and your quality of life are SO WORTH IT! 

Connect with us for a free consultation at info@bravecounseling.com or 720-923-3033. 

Rebirth, Renewal & Growth

Hello Brave Community! 

Have you been enjoying the magnificent blooms and pops of color as much as we have?! 

May is truly such an incredible month. In many cultures the month of May is often seen as the heart of springtime and it carries with it themes of rebirth, renewal and growth. This period of transformation is widely recognized and celebrated, marking a time when nature bursts into full bloom and the starkness of Winter gives way to vibrant life. 

Humans are PART of nature and therefore we also experience numerous cycles of death and rebirth throughout our lifetimes, not necessarily in the literal sense, but as profound metaphors for transitions and transformations. 

These cycles can be emotional, psychological, spiritual and even physical, marking significant shifts, development and growth. 

Psychologically, the month of May can act as a catalyst for you to shed old ways and embrace new beginnings. The fresh, colorful, and lively environment of Mother Earth can feel inspiring and stimulate a sense of rejuvenation. Right now, nature may be influencing you to renew your commitment to personal growth and you might be experiencing increased motivation. 

Spiritually, May holds a special significance as well. Many traditions and rituals this time of year focus on themes of fertility, abundance and new beginnings. Spiritual practices during the month of May involve reconnecting with nature (hikers, campers and gardeners where you at?!), meditation on personal growth and rituals that reflect the internal journey of renewal–mirroring the external world’s transformation. 

May serves as a symbolic reminder that just as the earth undergoes renewal, so too can the human spirit, encouraging an introspective look at personal growth and spiritual evolution. In order to grow, we gotta let go because it’s the letting go that gives way to rebirth and makes space for growth. Think about it -- trees can't grow new leaves if the old ones are still there.

Check out the next section for a simple but powerful ritual to help you let go of what you need to in order to create space for new growth!

Fire Ritual

Feeling inspired to get started on some emotional spring cleaning? 

We got you. Try out this simple, yet powerful fire ritual to get you started!

Materials:

• Fire safe bowl/outdoor fire pit

• Strips of paper or “wish” paper

• Pen/pencil

• Lighter or matches

• Safe, ventilated area

Instructions:

1.On the strips of paper, write down what you want to internally clear out.

*This could be: a person's name, a situation/conflict, emotions/feelings, old pain or wounding from your past, old protective patterns that unintentionally block your growth, limiting beliefs, etc.

2. Hold the strip of paper in your hands as you meditate, pray, recite a mantra ("clearing out the old to make space for the new") or ask for guidance from your spirit guides.

3. Dangle the strip of paper over your fire safe bowl or fire pit and light it up!

4. When it’s time, drop the strip of paper into the bowl or pit and stay present to intentionally watch each one burn.

If you notice yourself feeling inspired by this ritual and want more, reach out to us at info@bravecounseling.com. We can connect you to one of our AMAZING therapists who will support you in continuing to clear out old pain to make space for more connection, love and joy!

10 Common Ways the Patriarchy Disconnects Women From Who They Truly Are

Who am I? The Patriarchy’s Effect on Women’s Sense of Self

Even though many of the women we work with are considered successful by society’s standards, they don’t FEEL successful. Instead they feel disconnected, anxious and depressed. 

While it can be tempting to only focus on “the problem” i.e. the anxiety, the relationship, the depression, etc….as holistic therapists we know these issues are manifestations of something deeper. 

What we tend to find buried beneath years of patriarchal conditioning is the question, “Who am I really?” So if you’ve ever wondered this or felt like you don’t truly know yourself, you are not alone. 

This is exactly what the patriarchy does. It tells us who and how to be and if you don’t fit into that predetermined box then you’re in danger of being excluded, shamed, harassed or physically harmed.

Check out the list below to see 10 common ways the patriarchy disconnects women from who they truly are:

1. Internalized Misogyny - the unconscious adoption of sexist beliefs and attitudes and perpetuating these beliefs against yourself and other women. This internalized sexism can cause intense self-criticism, low self-worth (aka self-esteem issues), competitiveness/comparison with other women, downplaying achievements and capabilities, low levels of self-trust, etc.  

2. Body Image - the patriarchy sexualizes women’s bodies causing your body to not even feel like your own, not to mention, the patriarchy also imposes narrow, contradictory and unattainable beauty standards on women leading to body dissatisfaction, body dysphoria and low self-confidence and self-worth.

3. Imposter Syndrome - the persistent belief that your success is undeserved and the chronic fear of being exposed as a “fraud” is especially prevalent among women due to patriarchal conditioning. This ongoing self-doubt causes women to cope with overworking and perfectionism which actually erodes confidence and disconnects you from understanding your real capabilities and needs.

4. Limited Career Aspirations - the patriarchy causes people to internalize messages and mindsets that certain fields or positions are not suitable for them which leads to self imposed limitations on your career ambitions. The patriarchy also values certain careers and professions while devaluing others (i.e. teachers, nurses, therapists, artists, etc.) so even if you achieve major milestones in one of these careers you are underpaid and undervalued which can create feelings of shame and effect your sense of self-worth.

5. Emotional Labor - women are expected to be primary caregivers and emotional supporters in families and most all relationships. This pressure to prioritize everyone else’s emotional needs above your own leads to emotional exhaustion and self-neglect.

6. Violence and Fear - systems of patriarchy perpetuate and condone the control of and violence against women which creates an environment of fear and insecurity. Because of this, many women hesitate to assert themselves or express their truths which makes it incredibly hard for them to get what they need and go after what they want. When women suppress their voices they are suppressing their authentic selves which causes disconnection and host of other health issues. 

7. Financial Dependence - economic systems in patriarchal societies favor men, leading to gender wage gaps and lesser economic independence for women. Financial dependence limits women’s choices and freedoms which in turn impacts their self-identity and agency.

8. Dependency on External Validation - many women end up relying heavily on external validation such as approval from men or society to feel worthy and successful because this is what we have been conditioned to do. Instead of turning inward, connecting deeply with ourselves and validating ourselves, we have been made to believe that we are not valuable or knowledgable which frames the idea of getting to know ourselves fruitless. Because of these deeply ingrained patriarchal beliefs like “I’m not good enough” and “I don’t matter” we keep turning toward others to validate our worth.

9. Gaslighting & Invalidation - women’s experiences and perceptions are dismissed and invalidated by patriarchal structures, leading to self-doubt and confusion (hell, women have not been studied in the medical field for ages and we wonder why we see so many women struggling with “female related” health conditions) 

10. Limited Sense of Agency - patriarchal systems restrict women’s agency and autonomy (hello abortion bans) leading to feelings of powerlessness and lack of control over their own lives.

Remember, the patriarchy is a social system that was put in place ages ago in which men hold primary power and predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of property which automatically disconnects women from their true selves and abilities in numerous ways. So, if you are feeling disconnected from yourself and don’t know who you really are, give yourself some grace because this isn’t your fault. It’s the exact outcome the patriarchy wanted. 

If you read until now (thank you!) you are probably feeling pretty angry which completely makes sense. We encourage you to let your anger be the trailhead to your healing, growth and expansion. AND you don’t have to go at it alone. We are here for you and helping women reconnect to themselves and their inner power is the work we LOVE to do. 

If you’re ready to deeply know yourself and smash the patriarchy in the process, just click the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner. We can’t wait to connect with you!

Connect with us for a consultation at info@bravecounseling.com or 720-923-3033. 

5 Tips on Reducing & Managing Stress

What is Stress?

Have you noticed yourself feeling more stressed lately? If so, you are definitely not alone.

The month of April can be particularly stressful for folks for a variety of reasons like…

• The financial stress of tax season

• The end of school approaching

• Continuing to adjust to the seasonal shift

• Work demands increasing as companies wrap up the fiscal quarters & prepare for seasonal business activity

• The planning of Summer travel

• Increased social pressures or people wanting to get together more

There’s a lot going on in April which means the potential for stress or becoming “stressed out” increases. So...what really is stress anyway?

Stress is our psychological AND physiological reaction to an event, condition or circumstance that is considered a threat or challenge by your brain and nervous system. In other words, stress is your internal system’s reaction to a stressor.

Stressors are different for each person and so are stress responses which means what you find stressful, someone else might not and vice versa. Every person is UNIQUE because of differing genetics and the varying environments that they have experienced.

Stress exists on a spectrum with "present/regulated" on one end and "stressed/dysregulated" on the other end. Stress manifests in the body as strain, tension, constriction or pressure so folks who are stressed will often experience symptoms like:

• Headaches/migraines

• Muscle tension/pain

• Low energy/fatigue

• Anxiety and/or depression

• Sleep difficulties

• Irritability/anger

• Digestive problems

• Difficulty concentrating and/or making decisions

• Withdrawal/isolation

• Increased substance use

• Frequent colds and infections

• Loss of sexual desire

But, try not to worry too much because another truth is that ALL humans experience stress. It’s unavoidable so you aren’t doing anything wrong if you are feeling stressed, and the good news is there are ways to reduce and manage stress so you don’t have to keep feeling so crappy. Head to the next section to get 5 tips on managing stress from your Brave Embodiment therapists!

5 Tips on Reducing & Managing Stress 

Managing and reducing stress is about changing the way you relate to the stressors in your life. At the moment, your nervous system is “handling” those stressors by taking you into a survival state (fight, flight, freeze, flop) which is EXHAUSTING. But as humans, we do have the ability to slow down this reactiveness (by using the tools below) and ultimately shift our relationship with stressors.

1. Learn about stress and in particular about the neurobiology of stress so you have a clear understanding of what is happening in your brain and body when you’re stressed. Learning and integrating this information is a tool in itself because it helps us separate and regulate the feelings of stress. 

2. Complete your stress cycles! A big reason why we end up feeling so stressed is because a fight, flight, freeze or flop response was started within the nervous system/body but it wasn’t able to finish (for a variety of reasons). Coming back and purposefully finishing the stress cycle that got started helps the energy of that stress response move OUT of the body vs. being bound up in the body. 

   1. Ways to complete the stress cycle: physical activity, social connection, physical affection, deep breathing, crying, laughing, creativity, somatic therapy and practices

3. Mindfulness reduces stress by fostering an increased awareness of the present moment, which helps break cycles of reactivity to stressors. It also helps induce the body’s relaxation response, lowering stress-related physiological responses like heart rate and blood pressure. Regular mindfulness practice enhances emotional regulation and builds resilience, equipping you to manage future stressors more effectively and improves your overall well-being.

4. Emotions and stress live in the body, therefore it’s imperative to learn how to be in your body in order to better manage stress and heal from the effects of stress. Finding and commiting to a regular embodiment practice (i.e. being in your body) is key to reducing and managing stress. 

   1. Embodiment practice ideas: yoga, dance movement therapy, some forms of pilates, tai chi, qigong, body scan meditation, bioenergetics, rolfing, ecstatic dance, mindful walking, somatic therapy, etc.

5. Self-compassion reduces stress by promoting a kind, non-judgmental attitude towards yourself which lowers emotional reactivity and self-criticism. It fosters resilience, making it easier to bounce back from setbacks and encourages self-care practices vital for managing stress. Fostering self-compassion helps you become a supportive ally to yourself, enhancing your emotional flexibility and building a more positive mindset which helps you navigate stressors with a greater sense of ease and effectiveness. 

   1. Check out this 5 minute guided self-compassion break by Dr. Kristen Neff to see how it feels! https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/#guided-practices

Therapist Highlight: Cassandra

Meet the thoughtful and warm Cassandra Peterson.

Casandra is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of  Colorado. She believes believes balance  is an essential component to wellness and takes an a very warm and collaborative approach when working with people.

In the past Cassandra has worked with a wide range of concerns including stress, depression, anxiety, trauma and disordered eating. She has also worked in multiple levels of care including outpatient, intensive outpatient, partial hospitalization and residential.

Cassandra is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Person-Centered Therapy. She intuitively integrates these different methods and fosters growth by providing a nonjudgmental environment, insightful questioning, attentive listening, genuine support and an openness to wherever someone is at in their journey.

Currently, Cassandra specializes in...

• Offering and helping folks integrate effective coping skills for stress, anxiety and life changes

• Guiding folks to build self-esteem, self-compassion and self-acceptance

• Helping folks to strengthen the relationship between mind and body

Cassandra as a person↓

Personality: passionate, loving and creative

Activities: yoga, running, hiking, brunch, going to the beach, boating, photography and traveling

Travels: Cassandra loves to travel and currently has her eye on Switzerland, Thailand and New Zealand

Animals: Cassandra is an animal lover and her current favorites are French bulldogs and otters

Connect with us for a consultation at info@bravecounseling.com or 720-923-3033. 

Why Somatic Therapy is Particularly Effective for Anxiety

If you’re living with chronic anxiety, it’s likely that you have also tried therapy before. You’ve invested the time, energy and money into developing insight and high levels of self-awareness, so you know “the why” behind your anxiety. 

And…..there was a point in therapy where you plateaued. You explored, you learned and you understand why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling but you still can’t CHANGE the way you’re feeling. It’s SO frustrating!

Sound about right?

We are sharing this because this experience is all too common. 

While it has its usefulness, traditional talk therapy can only take you so far. Since traditional talk therapy relies on thought-based methods (CBT, DBT, psychoanalysis, talking, reading, podcasts, journaling, etc.) it can really only help you process on an intellectual level. 

As humans we do need to build insight and intellectually understand our experiences, but that is not the only level we need to process on. We also need to process things on a body and soul level for deep healing and lasting change to occur. 

To truly heal from chronic anxiety your body MUST be involved because your body is the vessel through which you experience life and the experiences you have literally leave imprints inside your body. These “imprints” are why you have chronic muscle tension, feel keyed-up or on-edge and experience repetitive, racing thoughts (aka overthinking) way more often than not.

Anxiety is an over-activated energetic state in the nervous system i.e. a flight response. Our nervous systems OVER-activate when a real or perceived threat to our safety has been detected by the amygdala in the brain and as humans, we have many layers of safety (physical safety, emotional safety, social safety, etc.). 

As you know, it’s possible to understand why you’re feeling anxious but not actually feel any different, so it’s crucial to…

1. Learn how to detect and interpret the sensations from your body

2. Learn, practice and integrate regulation tools that that speak directly to your nervous system (body) 

3. Use somatic regulation tools to stay present long enough to complete unfinished stress responses that have been living inside your body and feel all the way through your emotions so they release from your body

This is how you make that leap from knowing something in your thoughts to actually FEELING better.

As embodiment therapists we use the wisdom of the body and energetic power of the nervous system to create LASTING healing and change. We can help you get out of your head and into your body so you can first feel and release all the old pain and patterns which then creates the internal space for you to step fully into your power. When you live your life rooted in your power you’ll feel calm, clear and confident!

So, if you've tried talk therapy before and felt like something was missing. WE GOT YOU! Just click the “Contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit a contact form (5 minutes or less!) and we will reach out to ASAP to schedule a FREE 45 minute consultation. 

Ready to try somatic therapy to kick your anxiety? Connect with us for a consultation at info@bravecounseling.com or 720-923-3033. 

5 Steps to Regulating, Reducing & Healing Anxiety

Sometimes, when you’re living with chronic anxiety, you can get to the point of resigning to living an anxious life. You might hear yourself say things like, “Welp, this is my lot in life…I’m just an anxious person and there’s nothing I can do about it.” 

We GET IT and those feelings of exhaustion and urges to resign are valid. And, we want you to know that there are ways to regulate and heal your anxiety that are completely GAME CHANGING. 

And we know. A part of you might be rolling your eyes, skeptical and thinking, “What makes this blog post any different than ALL the other blog posts I’ve already read on how to cope and manage my anxiety?” That’s fair. We encourage critical thinking. 

This post is different because 4 out of the 5 tips are somatic and embodiment based strategies that get you OUT of your head and into your body which is SO needed when it comes to anxiety. And the other awesome thing about this post? We don’t expect you to just take our word for it. Go EXPERIENCE these 5 tips and feel it for yourself. 

1. Learn about your autonomic nervous system & your emotional window of tolerance - The autonomic nervous system is a branch of the central nervous system and it plays a MAJOR role in various energetic/emotional states including anxiety. The autonomic nervous system is made up of two branches, the sympathetic branch and the parasympathetic branch, which should be working in tandem with each other. In the case of chronic anxiety the sympathetic branch is dominant which is why things feel so fast, amped up and chaotic. The emotional window of tolerance is a framework that helps us gain clarity about what is happening in our nervous system and the path to repair. 

2. Use mindfulness  to develop your interoception & proprioception - Simply put, mindfulness is paying attention to your present moment experience. When we learn to direct our attention vs. our attention directing us, we can begin to develop our interoceptive and proprioceptive abilities which are needed to regulate and reduce anxiety. Interoception is the skill of sensing and feeling things from the inside like your heartbeat, muscle tension, energy and blood flow, where emotions show up in your body and the sensations/images/thoughts/stories associated with those emotions. Proprioception is the body’s ability to sense its own position, movement, and spatial orientation without relying on external stimuli. Proprioception helps reduce anxiety (a fear based emotion) by promoting a sense grounding and connection within the body and also the body’s relationship to the world around it providing a sense of safety and stability. 

3. Learn, practice & integrate somatic tools to regulate your energy - There are various body-based tools that we have found through research and in working with folks that regulate energy and rewire internal circuitry thus decreasing anxiety. These somatic tools (shaking, stomping, pushing, pillow slams, sighing, singing, humming, heel drops, spinal movements, eye placement, etc.) speak directly to the autonomic nervous system whereas thought-based strategies like reframing, journaling, talking things through etc. don’t. Once your nervous system has issued a stress response (which is what anxiety is) thinking your way out of that energetic/emotional state is not effective. It would be like someone giving you commands in a language you don’t speak, it just doesn’t compute. We gotta learn to speak the language of our nervous system in order to reduce and heal anxiety. 

4. Hierarchical experience breakdown - Once you’ve got a handle on your emotional window of tolerance, the “go to” reactions of your autonomic nervous system and specific somatic tools to move and direct your energy, it’s time for exposure. Even though your anxiety would like you to just avoid situations that make you afraid, that doesn’t actually help you reduce and heal your anxiety. Instead, select a situation you know makes you anxious and break it down into smaller steps. Then, challenge yourself to complete the first step and use your somatic regulation tools to help you. Sometimes you’ll need to repeat the same step a number of times until your nervous system has rewired and begins to read the situation as less threatening. You’ll be able to feel a decrease in the level at which your body is responding to that perceived threat. It’s important to note that you may never find that situation FULLY enjoyable but you will be able to do it, stay present for it and not feel SO drained afterwards. 

5. Develop and embody genuine curiosity & compassion toward your anxiety - At our cores, humans are innately curious and compassionate and an important step to reducing anxiety is relating to it with GENUINE curiosity and compassion. This one can be tough because most of us HATE our anxiety and what it’s done to our lives. But, like anything else on planet Earth, healing and growth cannot take place under unrelenting, harsh conditions like criticism and hatred. It’s CRUCIAL to build an understanding and loving relationship with the anxious part of you so this part of you feels safe to let go of the old ways of doing things and grow into the new ways of doing things. 

6. Identify & release the limiting beliefs driving your anxiety - This step is MOST successful in the presence of a compassionate witness and guide as it can be near impossible to see our own blind spots. The beliefs we hold inside to be true can become so normal and “protective” to us that we can struggle to see why we need to let go of them. Underneath all anxiety are beliefs that are being treated as the truth that continue to drive anxious sensations and feelings. Examples of these beliefs are: “The world is unsafe”, “Other people cannot be trusted”, “I am not enough”.

So….go ahead, go on and get out there - give these 5 tips a try! And, when your anxiety (fear) starts getting in the way of you trying these tips, remember the wise words of Ram Dass “...when you are just in the moment, doing what you are doing, there is no fear. The fear is when you stand back to think about it. The fear is not in the actions. The fear is in the thought about the actions.” 

Ready to finally regulate your anxiety? Connect with us for a consultation at info@bravecounseling.com or 720-923-3033. 

Breaking Down Anxiety: Demystifying the Invisible Struggle

It’s likely that you or someone close to you lives with anxiety and even though anxiety is so ubiquitous now-a-days, very few of us have a real grasp on what it actually is and what it really means to live day-in and day-out with anxiety.

That’s where we come in. We are here to break down what anxiety actually is so you can have a better sense of what may be going on for you or those you care about. 

When someone says “I have anxiety” they are likely experiencing the following symptoms:

• Chronic worry or “overthinking”, living life “in your head”

• Repetitive, cyclical or racing thoughts that are intrusive i.e. you’re not trying to think about those things, they just come in

• Regularly feeling restless or on edge in your body

• Difficulty concentrating, difficulty being and feeling present most of the time

• Chronic muscle tension (typically shoulders, neck, jaw, temples, legs & hips)

• Chronic fatigue or feeling tired more often than not

• Irritability, often feeling annoyed

• Difficulty sleeping - falling asleep and/or staying asleep

• Avoidance of certain situations or activities

• Panic attacks (sudden onset of instear fear or discomfort - can manifest physically, mentally or both)

Oooof! Let’s take a moment to acknowledge how anxiety makes living and functioning incredibly exhausting and difficult. Let’s move forward with compassion in our hearts for ourselves and those we care about who are living with anxiety. 

Even though you may hate your anxiety, the emotion of anxiety does have a purpose. Anxiety exists on the fear spectrum with terror on one end and slightly nervous on the other end. Essentially, anxiety is your body’s alarm system. Its job is to alert you to potential threats in your internal and external environments just like a smoke alarm warns you of a potential fire.

Anxiety does it’s job by triggering a cascade of physiological reactions in the body like releasing adrenaline and cortisol, increasing your heart rate and breathing, tensing your muscles, heightening your alertness, dilating your pupils…all in the name of preparing you to survive the perceived threats. 

Sounds delightful, right? Just kidding. We know personally and professionally that living with anxiety is frustrating, exhausting and painful. We also understand that those living with anxiety rarely feel truly seen in their struggle by loved ones and society due to the phenomenon of “normalization”. 

Normalization occurs when something becomes so common that it is no longer perceived as noteworthy or deserving of attention. Which, in our opinion, is bullshit. Just because so many of us are now living with anxiety, it doesn’t mean that living with anxiety has suddenly gotten easy or that it’s not deserving of attention and care.  

You might be wondering, well if my anxiety is “doing it’s job” then what? Do I just have to accept this way of life? 

No, you do not! You deserve so much more than a small, anxious existence. 

What tends to happen with chronic anxiety, or, anxiety disorders is the autonomic nervous system gets stuck in “alarm mode” and it’s sending alarm signals for almost everything and anything vs. truly dangerous situations.

While we need the emotion of fear or anxiety to survive, we don’t need to be experiencing partial or full blown stress responses when the situation isn’t life or death. It is possible to retrain our inner systems to dial back the level at which they are responding to day-to-day stressors so that we can feel more clear, present and settled in our lives. 

Clear, present and settled…sounds good huh? Stay tuned here on Brave Embodiment’s blog for 5 steps to reducing & healing your anxiety and to see why somatic therapy is particularly effective for anxiety.

Ready to better understand and heal from anxiety? Connect with us for a consultation at info@bravecounseling.com or 720-923-3033. 

The Mania of Spring

Have you been loving the beautiful, sunny weather we have been having lately?! 

Are you pumped that it’s light out until 7:00pm?!  

Can you feel that rush of energy running through your body?!

Yeah, us too :) 

Coming off of Winter where it's darker and the days are shorter, Spring energy can feel SO GOOD! And, BECAUSE we are coming off of Winter, we can also feel tired and wired - feeling driven to do something but not sure what….

The Winter solstice in December is the shortest day of the year and the days progressively get longer until the Summer solstice in June which is the longest day of the year.The fastest rate of change in daylight happens around the equinox (March 20th and September 20th) the points where there are equal hours of day and night.

This fast rate of change can impact our internal systems and energy which is why some people experience heightened symptoms of mania or hypomania this time of year. Here are some other common impacts of these quick seasonal changes in light, temperature and environment:

• Increased workload 

• Overscheduling yourself and/or over-committing to plans

• Avoiding "adulting" tasks because they are boring or you lack the time

• Going all week & weekend and constantly feeling tired

• Feeling overwhelmed and/or increased anxiety and therefore less presence

• Pre-planning all your Summer weekends and forgetting about the necessity of down time and self-care

What are your Springtime tendencies?

Grounding in the Midst of Spring Mania

Grounding, or rooting down, can be particularly useful this time of year. 

Grounding is a coping skill used to root yourself back into the present moment by redirecting your attention away from the mania of Spring and focusing it on your in-the-moment experience. 

There are different types of grounding such as mental grounding where you focus on the mind (counting backwards by 3’s), physical grounding where you focus on your body and your five senses, and soothing grounding where you relate to yourself with kindness and compassion (“This is hard right now and I’m proud of myself for not giving up”). 

Grounding can help when you get overwhelmed with a particular energy or emotional state by redirecting your attention onto something neutral or positive. Remember, energy flows where your attention goes, so if you’d rather not feel so overwhelmed by the energy of Spring try grounding!

Check out this physical (embodied) grounding practice called “The Tree Meditation” by clicking the link below. If you’re a nature lover, you’ll LOVE this one! 

LINK: https://insighttimer.com/bravecounseling/guided-meditations/grounded-meditation-the-tree

https://tinyurl.com/Grounding-Meditation-The-Tree

Therapist Highlight: Michelle Thomason

Meet the deep wellspring that is Michelle Thomason.

Michelle is a licensed professional counselor in Colorado who is passionate about helping folks find the right kinds of healing techniques so they can unleash their strengths to discover and tap into their full potential.

Her clinical background consists of working therapeutically with kids, teens & adults in a variety of settings including community mental health, educational resource centers,  residential facilities and private practice.

Michelle's approach is strengths-based, trauma informed and body & client-centered. She is trained in EMDR, Brainspotting, Gestalt Therapy, Gestalt Play Therapy, CBT, Applied Behavioral Analysis and therapeutic modalities utilizing art and music. She also has a passion for and experience with animal assisted approaches involving dolphins, canines, and horses.

Currently, Michelle specializes in...

• Guiding clients through deep-rooted trauma processing

• Offering individualized coping skills for clients seeking support with trauma work, self-acceptance, inner child work, betrayal trauma & somatic awareness

• Providing a balanced and creative therapy space of transparency, empathy, and compassion

• Utilizing her therapy dog Rex to assist with therapy sessions. (Rex has received specialized training to become a therapy dog and he is very compassionate, affectionate, and attuned)

Michelle as a person↓

• Personality: Animal Lover, Empath, Public-Spirited

• Activities: Anything ocean related, learning through other's cultures, traveling, comedy, reading, outdoor activities

• Foods: Nicaraguan, Italian, Greek

• Travels: New Zealand, Central America, Parts of Europe and would like to visit South America & Australia

• Quotes: "The most important things in life aren't things" - Anthony J. D'Angelo  and "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Dumbledore

• Pets: Therapy dog Rex
  
  
  

Want to try out IFS? Connect with us for a consultation at info@bravecounseling.com or 720-923-3033. 

What is IFS (Internal Family Systems)?

This week, we will be taking a look at Internal Family Systems (IFS).

So what exactly is IFS?

Well, it is an integrative, evidence-based modality developed by Richard Schwartz that assumes:

• We all have multiple sub-personalities, or parts of self

•  All parts have positive intentions

• Everyone has a source of infinite wisdom, compassion, and courage called the Self 

• Some Parts take on extreme roles due to stress and trauma

• The way we relate to our internal system affects our sense of internal and external wellness

You know the movie Inside Out, where the little girl has different characters in her head who take control depending on what situation she is in? Yeah, its a lot like that. 
Schwartz breaks down our internal system into the Self and three categories of parts. Check out the diagram below:

Some Important takeaways:

•  Managers and Firefighters are both Protectors that try to keep us safe from pain and uncomfortable emotions

• Exiles are parts that hold difficult emotions and have been pushed away, or exiled, from the rest of the system. A lot of times, protectors highly dislike these parts

• The Self can not be destroyed. At your core, you have an infinite source of wisdom, understanding, and stability. HOW COOL!

What Does an IFS Session Look Like?

Ok, so it's great IFS has all of these ideas but what does an actual IFS session look like? 

Let's take a look at the steps: 

1) Check-in about current experiences

Goal: Figure out which parts are most present ( i.e. blended with the Self) 

Are you mad at your boss?

Are you having difficulty making a decision? 

Are you unable to decrease your anxiety but don't know why? 

Ok, let's go back to Inside Out. Remember how there were different parts (ex. anger, joy, sadness) that took control at certain times? It's like your therapist is checking to see which part(s) have fully or partially taken control.

2) Engage in Meditation/Visualization/Body Scan

Goal: Access Self  and get distance from the parts that are taking over (i.e. unblend from parts) 

There are many ways to access Self and your therapist will typically guide you through an exercise to do so. Many times, this includes aspects of meditation, mindfulness, and visualizations. 

You know you are in Self when you experience the 8 C's. Click here to learn more about them. 

3) Engage in internal dialogue with your activated parts

Goal: Get an understanding of the parts' messages and what they need

Ok, ok, ok...we know how this sounds. Bear with us though! 

Your clinician will walk you through a step-by-step process to get to know your parts.

Some things you might learn about them:

• How the part came to be

• What role it plays in your system (ex. manager, firefighter, exile)

• What it needs to share with you 

• What it needs from you to feel better

4) Invite Self to witness Exile's childhood origin story

Goal: Heal pain and release limiting beliefs (i.e. retrieve and unburden Exile)

If you have successfully come to know and build trust with your parts, you may be able to access an Exile's childhood origin story. Through visualization and internal dialogue, you will bear witness to the exile's pain, reparent it, and retrieve it from the past to bring to the present. 

This deeper healing work is what releases old pain, erases limiting beliefs, and creates more harmony in the internal system. Many clients report feeling a greater sense of ease, confidence, and self-trust after this type of work!

As a reminder, these are examples of possible steps an IFS therapist may take in session. Each therapist has their unique approach to parts work, which is part (see what we did there?) of what makes the therapeutic process special.

If you'd like to learn more about IFS and its processes, click here.

Want to try out IFS? Connect with us for a consultation at info@bravecounseling.com or 720-923-3033.