Managing Stress Through Somatic and Holistic Tools: Healing the Nervous System and Unresolved Wounds

Somatic and holistic strategies that are effective at regulating the brain and nervous system, as well as, methods to heal unresolved pain and wounding that are likely at the root of chronic stress within the body. 

In today’s fast-paced world, stress has become a constant companion for many of us. From the pressure of work, to personal challenges, it often feels like we’re on high alert, perpetually stuck in hustle mode. As holistic therapists we see many people who experience chronic stress and dysregulation, often without realizing that much of their current stress is deeply rooted in unresolved past pain. To truly manage and reduce stress, we must focus not only on what’s happening in the present but also on healing the emotional wounds that keep our nervous system on edge. 

Let’s explore some of the somatic and holistic tools we can use to regulate the brain and nervous system and why healing from the past is essential for long-term well-being. 

Understanding the Brain-Body Connection

The first tool in managing stress holistically is to understand the intimate connection between the brain, body and nervous system because stress doesn’t just live in the mind; it’s a full-body experience. To better understand the neurobiology of stress, or, to be walked through what happens in your brain and body under stress head to our previous blog titled, “The Neurobiology of Stress AKA How Stress Works”.

Somatic Tools for Nervous System Regulation

Somatic practices are body-based techniques that help release tension, discharge stress and bring the energy of the nervous system back into a regulated, or, balanced state. Here are a few somatic strategies we recommend for managing stress:

1. Deep Breathing and Breathwork

Even though it may seem too simple to work, breathing is actually one of the most powerful tools we have to regulate the nervous system because of its direct link to the autonomic nervous system. Deep, mindful breathing helps to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, signaling to the body that it’s safe to relax. Simpled techniques like belly breathing or box breathing can quickly shift you from stress to calm. 

Try this: Pay attention to your breath and get a count on it. How long is it taking you to inhale right now? How long is it taking you to exhale right now? Next, begin to lengthen your exhales by 1-2 seconds in a way that is easy and gentle, never straining. Breathe in naturally, then slowly let your breath out creating an exhale that is 1-2 seconds longer than your inhale. Continue breathing in this way for approximately 3-5 minutes. Then, let go of your control over your breath, let your breath breathe itself again and notice how you feel.

2. Grounding Exercises

Grounding techniques help you reconnect to the present moment, pulling you out of the stress spiral and into your body. Simple acts like placing your feet firmly on the ground, focusing on the sensations of your body, or practicing mindful walking allows your attention to move away from feeding the stress response. Remember, energy flows where your attention goes, so when you engage in grounding you are redirecting your energy away from the stress response and a stress can’t survive without an energy source.

Try this: Sit with your feet flat on the ground and really focus your attention on feeling the connection between your feet and the earth. Notice the sensations (solid, heavy, warmth, pressure, etc.) and imagine any excess energy or stress flowing down into the ground. 

3. Mindful Movement

Movement also has a direct link to the autonomic nervous system which makes it an incredibly powerful tool for regulation and managing stress. Finding a mindful movement practice like yoga, tai chi, progressive muscle relaxations or simple body scanning exercises can help your system release stored stress and regulate the nervous system. 

Intentional movement in the moment while experiencing a stress response is also incredibly helpful. Things like pushing into the wall, shaking, running in place, jumping up and down, dancing, holding plank position, burpees, push-ups, etc. Movements like this get you out of your head and into your body and they allow you to move the excess energy that was generated by the stress response out of your body.

Try this: When you notice yourself feeling amped up, or, “stressed out” , find a wall and push as hard as you can into the wall until you cannot push anymore. Once your body gives you that signal of, “I’m so tired I cannot possibly keep doing this one second longer”, then stop and move into a legs up with the wall position. Lay down on your back, scoot your bottom as close to the wall as you can, extend your legs upward toward the ceiling and allow them to rest against the wall. Stay in this position for approximately 5 minutes. 

4. Meditation

Along with somatic tools, a holistic approach incorporates the mind, emotions and spirit to support whole-body healing. Mindfulness practices, like meditation, help us become aware of our thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations without judgment. By learning to observe without reacting, we can prevent stress from overwhelming us. 

Try this: Start with a 5-minute daily mindfulness meditation, focusing your attention inward. Do your best to sit in presence and observe your inner landscape without judgment, just noticing. Gradually increase your meditation time as you build awareness. 

Healing Unresolved Pain: Why It’s Essential for True Stress Relief

Now, it’s crucial to understand that while these tools are effective, they only offer temporary relief if there are unresolved emotional wounds or trauma driving the stress. Even though a lot of us don’t like to admit it, many of the stress responses we experience present day are rooted in past experiences, often dating back to childhood or significant life events. These unresolved wounds can live in the body and brain, creating patterns of dysregulation that cause us to overreact to current stressors.

When we carry emotional wounds – whether they stem from abandonment, neglect, betrayal, or trauma – they often manifest as chronic stress, anxiety, or a constant feeling of being “on edge.” The brain and nervous system become conditioned to respond to perceived threats, even when those threats are no longer present. Without healing these deep-rooted emotional pains, we stay locked in cycles of stress and dysregulation, unable to fully relax or feel safe in our bodies. 

The Importance of Trauma Informed Healing

To achieve long-lasting stress relief, we must work with the brain and body to heal the underlying wounds driving our nervous system’s dysregulation. This is where trauma-informed therapeutic work, such as somatic psychotherapy, EMDR, somatic IFS can help. These modalities work by releasing stored trauma from the body and reprogramming the brain to respond to stress in healthier, more adaptive ways. 

When we address the root causes of our stress, we can begin to live from a place of calm and balance, rather than constant reactivity. Healing the past allows us to shift out of survival mode and step into a more present, empowered way of being. 

Conclusion: A Journey of Healing and Regulation

Managing stress is not just about calming the mind in the moment–it’s about healing the patterns that keep our nervous system dysregulated. By incorporating somatic and holistic tools, and by addressing unresolved emotional wounds, we can create lasting change and experience true relief from chronic stress. As we regulate our nervous systems and heal the pain of the past, we can finally step into a state of calm, balance, and resilience that allows us to navigate life with greater ease and joy.

The Neurobiology of Stress AKA How Stress Works

Have you ever had that experience where you zoom out and look at the situation you’re feeling stressed about and realize that in the grand scheme of things it probably doesn’t matter that much…? And, even though you can see that, you still feel stressed?

You’re not alone in this, and that is what we plan to cover in this blog. In this blog we will be offering information on what is happening in your brain and nervous system that keeps your body in a reactive, stressed-out state even though you logically realize you don’t need to be so stressed. We hope by sharing this information you can use it as a tool the next time you’re stressed to support your brain and nervous system in coming back to a regulated, balanced state more quickly. 

The Stress Response

When faced with a stressor–whether it’s a looming work deadline, an unexpected bill, or a dangerous situation–the limbic system in your brain and your autonomic nervous system instinctually kick in. 

This rapid response is often referred to as “a stress response” which can look like fighting, fleeing, freezing, fawning or flopping. All are built-in survival mechanisms that prepare you to get through and survive the threat (the stressor). 

The Role of the Amygdala: The Brain’s Smoke Detector

This stress response process is incredibly fast, but it starts with the amygdala. The amygdala is an almond sized structure in the human brain responsible for scanning a person’s internal and external environment for potential threats to safety. When the amygdala detects a stressor and perceives it as a threat, it sends an alert to other parts of the brain.

The Hypothalamus: Command Center of the Stress Response

The amygdala signals the hypothalamus, a small but crucial area at the base of the brain that functions as the command center for your autonomic nervous system. The hypothalamus initiates the stress response by communicating with the sympathetic nervous system (one of the branches of the autonomic nervous system), which controls involuntary bodily functions such as heart rate and respiration. 

Activation of the Sympathetic Nervous System: Rapid Physiological Changes

Once the hypothalamus activates the sympathetic nervous system, the body undergoes immediate physiological changes to prepare for action. This process, known as the acute stress response, includes:

• Increased heart rate - blood pumps faster to supply muscles with more oxygen

• Muscle tension - due to the increased blood flow and oxygen in the muscles tension builds so you have the strength or power needed to confront or get away from the stressor

• Faster breathing - more oxygen enters the lungs, providing the body with additional energy

• Release of epinephrine (adrenaline) - the adrenal glands release this hormone which increases alertness, sharpens focus and boosts energy

• Pupil dilation - vision sharpens and narrows to better assess the environment

All these changes happen within seconds of encountering a stressor, priming your body to react swiftly.

The HPA Axis: Longer-Term Stress

If the stressor persists, the brain activates the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis (HPA axis), a more prolonged response system that helps sustain the body’s readiness for action. 

Hypothalamus Signals the Pituitary Gland

The hypothalamus releases corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH), which travels to the pituitary gland. In response, the pituitary gland releases adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH) into the bloodstream. 

ACTH Stimulates the Adrenal Glands

ACTH travels to the adrenal glands, located above the kidneys, prompting them to release cortisol, often referred to as the “stress hormone”. Cortisol has several critical functions during a stressor, including:

• Maintaining Energy Supply - By raising glucose levels in the bloodstream, cortisol ensures that muscles and the brain have enough fuel to handle the stressor.

• This increase of glucose levels in the bloodstream for prolonged periods of time is what contributes to “cortisol belly”, or weight gain, amongst other physical health issues like chronic inflammation/pain, insulin resistance and diabetes.

• Suppressing Non-Essential Functions - Cortisol temporarily dampens systems like digestion, reproduction, and immune response, allowing the body to focus its resources on the immediate threat. 

• This is why we tend to get sick if we’ve been stressed for an extended period of time, and also why long-term stress leads to gut issues. 

Chronic Stress and Its Effects

While this stress response system is designed to protect you in the short-term, problems arise when stress becomes chronic. Chronic stress is when the body remains in a prolonged state of alertness and because it’s stuck in this state damaging effects on mental and physical health occur. 

Impact on the Hippocampus

The hippocampus, a brain region essential for learning and memory, is particularly sensitive to cortisol. Chronic stress and elevated cortisol levels can shrink the hippocampus over time, leading to:

• Memory problems

• Difficulty concentrating

• Increased risk of anxiety, depression, PTSD

Overactivation of the Amygdala

Prolonged exposure to stress can cause the amygdala to become hyperactive, making people more sensitive to perceived threats. This heightened state of alert can contribute to feelings of chronic anxiety, hypervigilance, irritability, anger and rage.

Suppression of the Prefrontal Cortex

The prefrontal cortex is responsible for rational decision-making and regulating emotions. Chronic stress can impair the function of this brain region, making it harder to think clearly, regulate emotions, or make thoughtful decisions.  

The Parasympathetic Nervous System

Once the stressor is removed, the parasympathetic nervous system is activated, often referred to as the “rest and digest” system. This system works to counteract the effects of the stress response by:

• Slowing the heart rate

• Decreasing blood pressure

• Resuming normal digestion and other bodily functions

The parasympathetic nervous system helps the body return to its baseline state, allowing for recovery and balance after the stressor has passed. In a healthy environment the sympathetic and parasympathetic branches of the autonomic nervous system work in tandem. The sympathetic branch activates in response to an acute stressor, the stressor is faced and resolved and the parasympathetic branch comes in and returns the inner system to homeostasis.

However, in situations of episodic, chronic and/or traumatic stress, the sympathetic branch gets stuck in the “on” position until there is no more energy to sustain the activation of the sympathetic branch and then the inner system shuts down into a collapsed state with little to no energy i.e “conservation mode”. Once some energy is restored in the person’s system, then we, as holistic therapists, often see a bouncing back and forth between an over-activated state and an under-activated state until we are able to lend the brain and nervous system some support with regulation and processing of the unresolved emotions and/or trauma. 

Conclusion: Managing Stress for Better Health and Well-Being

The stress response is a powerful tool that we need for survival. But, when it’s activated too often or for too long, it can take a serious toll on the mind, body and soul. By understanding the neurobiology of stress–how the brain and nervous system react to stressors–we can better appreciate the importance of stress management techniques. Practices such as mindfulness, intentional movement, regular exercise, breathwork and regular relaxation can help regulate the body’s stress response, ensuring that it is used when needed but not causing long-term harm to your mind, body and soul. 

If you’re curious to know more about different tools and strategies to regulate your stress responses, stay tuned! Our next blog will cover various somatic and holistic strategies that are effective at regulating the brain and nervous system, as well as, methods to heal unresolved pain and wounding that are likely at the root of chronic stress within the body.

Understanding Stress Holistically: Mind, Body, and Soul Perspective

As holistic therapists we view stress as more than just a mental or emotional burden–it’s a full-body experience that affects your mind, body and soul.

Stress is also a natural response to life’s challenges, but when it becomes chronic, it can have profound impacts on our health and well-being. To truly address stress, we need to look at it holistically, understanding how it influences every aspect of our being. 

In this blog we will explore what stress is, the signs and symptoms it presents across mind, body and soul and why it’s important to take a holistic approach to managing it. 

What is Stress?

Stress is our psychological and physiological reaction to an event or condition that is considered a challenge, demand or threat (aka stressors). Stress is our internal system’s reaction to a stressor, and this stress reaction will often manifest as strain, tension, constriction and/or pressure. 

Stressors are different person to person and so are stress responses i.e. what you find stressful, someone else might not because every person is unique (different genes and predispositions, different upbringings in different environments, etc.). A stress response activates the body’s fight, flight, freeze, fawn or flop system, releasing stress hormones like epinephrine (adrenaline), norepinephrine (noradrenaline) and cortisol to help us cope with the challenges. 

Additionally, there are different kinds of stress, including: acute, episodic, chronic and traumatic, as well as, vicarious stress or trauma. Check out the bullet pointed list below for a brief description and a few examples of each type of stress. 

• Acute: A short-term, immediate response to a perceived threat or challenge. The stressor triggers the body’s stress response and the release of stress hormones to help a person cope with the situation and once the stressor is resolved, the body typically returns to its normal state. This is the most common and least damaging type of stress.

• Examples: giving a big presentation, a difficult phone call with a client, a new assignment at work, taking a test, facing an unexpected non-life threatening situation, etc.

• Episodic: This type of stress is a step up in intensity from acute stress and involves bouts of acute stress related to short to medium term situations causing moderate levels of damage. It is often linked to frequent crises or demands and can lead to feelings of overwhelm. 

• Examples: facing repeated high-pressure deadlines at work, frequent arguments or issues within a relationship, recurring short-term financial struggles like unexpected bills, health scares, etc.

• Chronic: A long-term, persistent stressor that occurs when someone faces ongoing challenges or pressures without adequate support, relief or breaks. This type of stress can lead to serious mental, emotional and physical health problems. 

• Examples: long-term caregiving for a chronically ill family member or elderly parent, being stuck in a job or career that is high-pressure and unfulfilling without foreseeable change, toxic relationships, constant struggle to meet needs due to financial difficulties or long-term debt, etc.  

• Traumatic: The intense psychological, physiological and emotional response to an event or series of events that are life-threatening or deeply distressing. It overwhelms the person’s ability to cope and can lead to long-lasting effects on mental and physical health, such as PTSD, chronic pain and autoimmune disorders. 

• Examples: rape, incest, physical abuse, domestic violence, serious accidents, mugging, kidnapping, natural disaster, deprivation/neglect, suddedn loss, chaos, community violence, torture, war, etc.

• Vicarious Stress or Trauma: The emotional, physiological and psychological impact experienced by someone who is indirectly exposed to the trauma of others, often through witnessing the event or aftermath of the event or hearing about the traumatic experience. This is common in people who are close to, or work closely with people who are chronically stressed and dysregulated or trauma survivors. 

• Examples: loved ones and caregivers to people who have experienced high levels of stress or trauma, first responders dealing with accidents or violence, therapists, social workers, healthcare workers, journalists, etc. 

It’s important to note that all humans experience stress so if you are experiencing stress you aren’t doing anything wrong. In fact,  in the short term stress can be beneficial–it sharpens our focus and gives us the energy needed to overcome obstacles. However, when stress becomes chronic, it takes a toll on our health, leaving us feeling depleted and overwhelmed, potentially leading to burnout, adrenal fatigue and additional mental and physical health issues.  

Despite how mainstream society sees and talks about stress, it is not just a mental state. Stress affects us on all levels: physically, emotionally and spiritually. Therefore to truly manage it, reduce it and heal from it, we need to understand how it manifests across our entire being. 

The Mind: Mental and Emotional Signs of Stress

Stress often starts in the mind, but its effects can quickly ripple outward. It’s common that the first signs of stress, or dysregulation, are a person’s thoughts becoming anxious, racing and repetitive. Mentally, we feel scattered, unable to focus, or overwhelmed by even simple tasks. 

Here are some common mental and emotional signs of stress:

• Anxiety or worry: Constantly feeling on edge or amped up with a sense that something bad might happen.

• Irritability or frustration: Small things may set you off and finding it difficult to regulate your energy and emotions. 

• Racing, cyclical or repetitive thoughts: A mind that doesn’t seem to quiet down, even at night. This is another early sign your system is stressed or dysregulated.

• Difficulty focusing: Trouble concentrating or making decisions because your mind is too scattered or foggy.

• Mood swings: Emotional highs and lows that seem unpredictable or like they “come out of nowhere”.

These mental signs are signals that the body and mind are no longer in harmony. Your mental energy is being depleted and your thoughts are stuck in a cycle of fear or overwhelm.

The Body: Physical Signs of Stress

Stress has a profound impact on the body. It dysregulates the autonomic nervous system, also known as the “fight, flight, freeze, fawn and flop” responses, which prepares us to survive the perceived threat. This can be helpful in the short term, but when our bodies are in a constant state of alert, it leads to physical strain. 

Common physical signs of stress include:

• Muscle tension: Especially in the neck, shoulders, jaw and hips.

• Headaches or migraines: Tension headaches are a common result of prolonged stress.

• Fatigue or exhaustion: Constant stress drains the body’s energy, leading to a feeling of burnout.

• Digestive issues: Stress can disrupt digestion, causing symptoms like stomach pain, bloating, indigestion, constipation and/or diarrhea.

• Sleep disturbances: Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep is a hallmark of stress.

• Weekend immune system: Chronic stress weakens the body’s defenses leading to more frequent colds, illness and infections.

• Chest pain and rapid heartbeat

• Sexual changes: loss of desire and/or ability, or hypersexuality i.e. increased use of sex to release tension

• High blood pressure

In holistic therapy, we view these physical symptoms as the body’s way of communicating that it is out of balance. Chronic tension and fatigue signal that the body needs rest, relaxation and nurturing to return to a state of equilibrium. 

The Soul: Spiritual and Energetic Signs of Stress

While stress is often discussed in terms of the mind and body, it also deeply affects our spirit. Our felt sense of vitality decreases and we end up feeling disconnected from our sense of purpose, inner peace, and connection to something greater than ourselves. 

Common spiritual and energetic signs of stress include:

• Energetic depletion: stress drains our life force energy leaving us feeling empty, fatigued and/or numb

• Frantic, hustle energy: Feeling like you're running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

• Feeling disconnected or lost: Stress can make us feel like we’re drifting, unsure of our path or purpose. 

• Lack of fulfillment: We may feel like we’re just going through the motions, without joy or meaning in our daily lives. 

• Disconnection form intuition: When stress overwhelms us, it becomes difficult to hear or trust or inner voice

• Loss of connection: Stress can create a sense of isolation or disconnection from the world around us (nature, other people, community, the universe)

These spiritual symptoms are just as important as the mental and physical ones. They remind us that true healing requires reconnecting with our deeper selves and finding ways to nourish our spirit. 

The Importance of Listening to Stress and Addressing It Holistically

Stress is not something we can simply ignore or push through even though these tactics are glorified by U.S. culture. When we view stress holistically, we understand that it is a signal from our mind, body and soul that something needs attention. Instead of suppressing stress, we can learn to listen to it, allowing it to guide us toward the areas of our lives that need healing and balance. 

As holistic therapists we encourage you to honor your stress and approach it with curiosity and compassion. It’s not a weakness or something to be ashamed of–stress is a natural part of life. Check out the bullet pointed list below for a general overview of various tools and strategies that are useful in managing and reducing stress:

• Mind: Mindfulness practices like meditation, journaling or breathing exercises can help slow and soften the mind to reduce anxiety caused by racing thoughts. Cognitive reframing, or learning to shift negative thought patterns, is also a powerful tool for reducing mental stress.

• Body: Physical practices such as yoga, gentle stretching, or somatic therapies help release tension stored in the muscles. Regular movement, proper nutrition, and adequate sleep are essential for supporting the body’s ability to cope with stress.

• Soul: To nourish the soul, we can turn to practices like meditation, grounding, spending time in nature, or engaging in creative expression. Spiritual practices, whether prayer, energy healing, or simply deep reflection, help us reconnect with our inner selves and restore a sense of peace. 

And…a holistic approach to stress doesn’t just treat the symptoms, it seeks to restore balance across the entire person. While there are things we can do to better manage and reduce stress, ultimately it’s important to get at the root cause i.e. why your inner system reacts the way it does to stressors (stayed tuned for information on getting at the root of stress in an upcoming blog titled “Healing Stress at Its Root”). 

Final Thoughts

Stress touches every aspect of our being, but it doesn’t have to overwhelm us. By approaching it holistically (mind, body and soul) we can learn to navigate stress with greater ease and resilience. Healing stress isn’t about eliminating it entirely (remember some stress is actually useful!); it’s about cultivating tools and practices that bring us back into alignment, as well as, resolving past wounds, so we can face life’s challenges from a place of balance and strength. 

Holistic therapy offers a pathway to this balance, reminding us that healing is a journey that involves nurturing every part of ourselves. If you’re tired of being tired and over being stressed all the time, head to the “contact tab” in the upper righthand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

Harnessing the Power of the Menstrual Cycle for Better Mental Health and Well-Being

Did you know the 9-to-5 work day is synced to the male testosterone cycle? Yeppers, it’s true :( 

The traditional 9-to-5 work day, created in the 1920’s, aligns closely with the daily testosterone cycle in men, which peaks in the morning and gradually declines through the day. Testosterone is linked to energy, focus and assertiveness, making early to mid-morning an optimal time for men to engage in tasks that require concentration and productivity. 

For women, however, this schedule is less than ideal and for almost a century now women have been expected to just make it work on the 9-to-5 schedule that was designed around a man. 

Unlike men, women’s energy, mood and focus are more influenced by the infradian rhythm, the menstrual cycle, that spans 28 days. Throughout this cycle, fluctuations in hormones like estrogen, progesterone and testosterone can significantly impact energy levels, cognitive function and physical and emotional well-being. 

So, instead of continuing to force yourself to fit into something that never considered you and your unique make-up, what would it be like to take things into your own hands? What would it be like to sync your life and work to your natural biorhythms?

Understanding and tracking your menstrual cycle is more than just keeping tabs on your period – it’s a powerful tool for enhancing your mental health and overall well-being. By tuning into the natural rhythms of your body, you can anticipate shifts in your emotional and energetic states and align your lifestyle, work and self-care practices with your hormonal fluctuations.

Check out the section below to get started on syncing your life and work to your infradian cycle:

Follicular Phase (7-10 days) - in this phase estrogen and energy is rising creating more mental clarity 

• Themes: Growth, new beginnings and setting plans in motion

• Focus On: Researching, learning something new, planing, preparing, tapping into your creativity, innovating, starting new projects

Self-Care Strategies:

• Movement - Take advantage of your rising energy levels, but keep in mind these are not your peak energy levels. Try slightly more intense movement like: dance classes, jump roping, indoor cycling, hiking, vinyasa yoga, etc.

• Nutrition - During this phase your appetite will be more suppressed so your body may not crave or need as many calories. Try incorporating light foods that support your building energy levels, things like: salads, smoothies and lean proteins.

• Social - Plan social events or start a new hobby during this time when you’re more likely to feel communicative

• Work - Engage in collaborative work, projects that inspire you, brainstorm, create a vision board, plan or start a new project

Ovulatory Phase (3-4 days) - in this phase estrogen levels peak and so does your energy, so you’re likely to feel at your best both physically and emotionally during this time 

• Themes: Confidence, connection, communication, outward expression

• Focus On: Socializing, pitching ideas, being seen, collaborating and connecting with others, deepening personal connections

Self-Care Strategies:

• Movement - These days are your peak energy levels, so let it rip and enjoy feeling how powerful you are! Try movement like: power yoga, HIIT, boot camp classes, kickboxing, strenuous hikes, pilates reformer, running, cycling

• Nutrition - As estrogen peaks, vegetables can aid in metabolizing this hormone to prevent an excessive buildup and avoid estrogen dominance. Your body temperature also rises during this phase so it’s a good time to consider more raw foods like fresh fruits and veggies, fish, yogurt, nuts

• Social - Go on dates, get lunch with friends, build relationships and deepen your more personal connections

• Work - Schedule important meetings, presentations or social events during this time to maximize your communication skills and confidence

Luteal Phase (10-14 days) - progesterone is at its highest point which can have a calming effect and create more subdued energy and moods

• Themes: Completion, nurturing, tending, working, doing, organizing, wrapping up

• Focus On: Getting things done you planned during your follicular phase, feeling good about wrapping things up

Self-Care Strategies: 

• Movement - At the beginning of this phase you’ll likely feel pretty good but be prepared for your hormones and energy levels to start dropping towards the middle and end of this phase. Try movement like: pilates, weight lifting, yoga, shorter easier hikes, longer walks and add in a couple rest days.

• Nutrition - Your body needs more calories during this phase due to increased metabolic activity driven by peak progesterone levels which has a thermogenic effect. Try slow-burning complex carbs and nutrient dense foods like sweet potatoes, quinoa, oats, brown rice, leafy greens, nuts and seeds, salmon and berries. 

• Social - Engage in activities that nurture your emotional well-being like connecting with supportive friends, scheduling an extra therapy session, practicing self-compassion and allow for extra sleep and rest as your energy starts to wane

• Work - Declutter and organize, tidy-up, complete tasks and organize your space to create a sense of order

Menstrual Phase (3-7 days) - body temperature drops and your hormones and energy levels are at their lowest

• Themes: Evaluation, intuition, reflection, introspection, relaxation, self-compassion

• Focus On: Rest, reviewing accomplishments and noting areas of your life that feel less than optimal or that need attention, journaling, identifying what you need to let go of, setting intentions for next follicular phase

Self-Care Strategies:

• Movement - Consider rest days for 40- 50% of your days during this period and on non-rest days consider trying yin yoga, walking, mat pilates, restorative or gentle yoga

• Nutrition - As hormone levels and your body temperature drop, stick to warming, comforting foods like: soups and stews, roasted root vegetables, oatmeal, herbal teas, cooked dark leafy greens, dark chocolate

• Social - Prioritize rest and allow yourself extra sleep and downtime to honor your body’s need for restoration

• Work -Tthese are the days you give yourself permission to do the bare minimum at work, enough so you don’t get fired or super behind on things, but do your best to accept that your productivity will not be as high as it is during your follicular, ovulatory and luteal phases

We live in a world shaped by patriarchal norms, where women have long been expected to conform to a male-centric model of productivity, often at the expense of their own mental health and well-being. This disregard for the unique bio-rhythms that govern women’s bodies has led to unnecessary disembodiment, stress, burnout and a disconnect from our natural cycles and energy levels. However, by reclaiming the power of your menstrual cycle and aligning your life with your rhythms, you can unlock profound improvements to your mental health and overall wellbeing. Embracing this knowledge and the practice of cycle tracking and cycle syncing isn’t just a personal revolution; it’s a game changer that allows you to live more harmoniously, authentically and powerfully.

If you’d like additional support in getting started in the practice of cycle tracking and cycle syncing we recommend checking out the following apps: Clue, Flo, Ovia, Glow and MyFLO. And, as always we are here for you. We are a group of holistic, somatically trained female therapists who love supporting and guiding women to repair their relationships with their bodies, tap into their inner power and live as their most authentic, most badass selves! Just head to the “contact tab” in the upper righthand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in-touch!

PMS or PMDD? Navigating the Spectrum of Premenstrual Symptoms

Navigating the spectrum of premenstrual symptoms can be a confusing and often frustrating journey for many women. From mood swings and bloating to more severe emotional challenges, understanding the difference between PMS and PMDD is crucial for finding the right approach to relief. In this blog, we’ll explore the similarities and differences between the two and identify causes and options for intervention. 

What is PMS? 

Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) is a group of physical, emotional and behavioral symptoms that 70-90% of women experience in the days or weeks leading up to their period. PMS is not in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) and is not considered a psychological disorder. 

Typically, these symptoms begin during the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle (also referred to as the infradian cycle) and continue into the menstrual phase. PMS can vary in severity ranging from mild discomfort to severe symptoms that interfere with daily life and tasks. While PMS is common, the symptoms, intensity and duration can differ significantly from woman to woman. 

Causes of PMS

Like most things, PMS does not have just one root cause. It is believed to be related to the complex interplay of hormonal changes occurring within the infradian menstrual cycle, particularly fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone levels. Several factors including: hormonal fluctuations, neurotransmitter changes, lifestyle factors, genetics and underlying physical and mental health conditions, contribute to the development of PMS. 

Symptoms of PMS

Symptoms are varied person to person and can be categorized into physical, emotional and behavioral. These symptoms typically begin a week or two before menstruation and usually resolve within a few days after the onset of menstruation. 

Physical Symptoms:

• Breast tenderness

• Bloating

• Headaches or migraines

• Fatigue

• Cramps

• Joint or muscle pain

• Weight gain

• Digestive issues

• Acne

Emotional and Behavioral Symptoms:

• Mood swings

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Irritability

• Difficulty concentrating

• Sleep disturbances

• Appetite changes

• Social withdrawal

• Energy changes

What is PMDD?

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a severe form of PMS that affects approximately 23-30% of women (however keep in mind statistics come from reported, recorded and diagnosed cases, so the percentage women suffering from PMDD is likely higher). 

PMDD involves more intense emotional and physical symptoms that significantly impair daily life, relationships and work. Unlike PMS, which is uncomfortable but generally manageable, PMDD can be debilitating. 

Also unlike PMS, PMDD is considered a psychological disorder and is currently listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5) as a separate entity under depressive disorders, with the criteria for diagnosis as follows:

Criterion A - At least 5 of the following 11 symptoms (including at least 1 of the first 4 listed) need to be present for diagnosis:

• Markedly depressed mood, feelings of hopelessness, or self-deprecating thoughts

• Marked anxiety, tension, feelings of being “keyed up” or “on edge”

• Marked affective lability (extreme and sudden changes in mood or emotional state)

• Persistent and marked anger or irritability or increased interpersonal conflicts

• Decreased interest in usual activities (ex: work, school, friends, and hobbies)

• Difficulty concentrating

• Lethargy, easily fatigued, or marked lack of energy

• Marked change in appetite, overeating, or specific food cravings

• Hypersomnia or insomnia

• A subjective sense of being overwhelmed or out of control

• Other physical symptoms, such as breast tenderness or swelling, headaches, joint or muscle pain, a sensation of bloating, or weight gain.

Criterion B - Symptoms are severe enough to interfere significantly with social, occupational, sexual, or academic functioning.

Criterion C - Symptoms are specifically related to the menstrual cycle and are not related to or an exacerbation of the symptoms of another disorder, such as major depressive disorder, panic disorder, dysthymic disorder, or a personality disorder (although the symptoms may be superimposed on those of these disorders).

Criterion D - Criteria A, B, and C are confirmed by daily ratings during at least 2 consecutive menstrual cycles. The diagnosis may be made provisionally before this confirmation.

Causes of PMDD

The exact cause of PMDD is unclear, but is thought to involve either an abnormal response to the hormonal changes, or more significant hormonal changes occurring during the menstrual cycle that more profoundly affect neurotransmitters like serotonin. Research has revealed certain risk factors like trauma, cigarette smoking, genetics and obesity to be correlated with the development of PMDD. 

Symptoms

PMDD symptoms are similar to those of PMS but are much more severe, particularly in terms of emotional and mental health. These symptoms typically begin one to two weeks before menstruation and subside a few days after the period begins. 

Emotional and Behavioral Symptoms:

• Severe mood swings

• Irritability, anger or rage

• Severe depression or hopelessness

• Severe anxiety or tension

• Increased relationship strain and/or conflict

• Inability to concentrate, focus or think clearly

• Severe fatigue

• Sleep problems

• Appetite changes

• Physical symptoms

Management of PMS and PMDD

While PMS can often be better managed and alleviated with lifestyle changes and coping tools (which we go over in our blog titled “Harnessing the Power of the Menstrual Cycle: Using Cycle Tracking and Cycle Syncing for Better Mental Health and Overall Well-Being”), PMDD typically requires more intensive intervention involving lifestyle modifications, medication (antidepressants (SSRIs), hormonal treatments, nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs)) and psychotherapy.  

When you’re navigating the spectrum or premenstrual symptoms, whether it’s PMS or PMDD, it’s important to remember that every experience is valid and deserves attention. Understanding the difference between these conditions can empower you to seek the right kinds of support and treatment. Even though it can be challenging in a patriarchal society, try your best to tune into your body’s signals and advocate for your health because it is possible to manage symptoms better and improve your overall well-being. And remember, you don’t have to go at this all alone - we are here for you. We get what it’s like to be negatively affected by premenstrual symptoms and as holistic, somatically trained therapists we would be honored to walk alongside you in journey to experiencing better health and wellness. Just head to the contact tab in the upper righthand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch with you ASAP!

The Menstrual Cycle and Mood Swings: Understanding the Science Behind Hormonal Fluctuations

Do you feel afraid to admit that your period affects you? If so, you are NOT alone in this. 

Approximately 75% of women (and that percentage is likely higher) experience some form of premenstrual symptoms and are therefore affected by their periods, but very few of us speak up about this for a variety of reasons:

• The topic of menstruation has long been a taboo subject in many cultures

• Being made to feel inappropriate, embarrassed and ashamed for having periods let alone discussing them

• Social conditioning to see menstrual pain and symptoms as “normal”, something that just has to be endured so we learn that we should just get on with life and be able to operate like our male counterparts

• Fear of getting dismissed or seen as “overly emotional”, “weak”, less competent or professional

• Patriarchal conditioning for women to prioritize others’ needs over our own, leading us push through and downplay our own discomfort and pain

• Negative experiences with healthcare providers who dismiss our symptoms or fail to take them seriously

Because SO many women are affected by their periods, we wanted to speak on this and give you the information that so many of us never got growing up.  

When we think about biological rhythms, the circadian rhythm (our 24 hour internal clock) often comes to mind, however, as women, we have an additional rhythm that plays a crucial role in our health and well-being; the infradian rhythm. 

This rhythm (or cycle) spans 28 days, includes four different phases and profoundly influences a woman’s physical, emotional and mental state. If you can feel a part of you feeling silly or stupid for not knowing this, try not to be hard on yourself! At one point in time, we didn’t know any of this either because as girls and women we do not get taught this in school and following school this information isn’t being openly talked about in daily life. To get this information, we have to seek it out for ourselves, which, in our opinion, is complete crap and yet another way in which the patriarchy treats women as second class citizens. 

Our hope is that in learning about and understanding your infradian cycle you can feel more empowered to align your life more closely with your body’s natural ebb and flow which in-turn promotes better mental health and overall wellness. 

So…What is the Infradian Cycle?

The infradian rhythm is a biological cycle that lasts longer than 24 hours. For women, the most prominent infradian rhythm is the menstrual cycle, which typically ranges from 21 to 35 days. This cycle is divided into four phases: 1. Follicular 2.Ovulatory 3. Luteal 4. Menstrual. Each phase is governed by a complex interplay of hormones, particularly estrogen and progesterone, which fluctuate throughout the cycle bringing to the surface various strengths and symptoms. 

The Four Phases of the Infradian Cycle

Follicular Phase (7-10 days) - During this phase estrogen levels gradually rise, leading to increased dopamine and serotonin activity often causing increased energy, feeling more physically capable, suppressed appetite, increased motivation, improved mood and enhanced cognitive function. You might notice yourself feeling more optimistic, outgoing, confident and motivated during this time, making it an ideal time for planning and preparation. 

• Strengths: Creativity

• Focus: Plan, research, prepare, get clear on your vision, dream big

Ovulatory Phase (3-4 days) - During this phase estrogen levels peak and testosterone levels rise which has a stimulating effect on both dopamine and serotonin. The rise in dopamine supports motivation and drive, while the increase in serotonin promotes emotional balance and happiness. You might notice yourself experiencing heightened energy, improved focus, increased motivation, emotional stability, positive mood, high confidence, sociability and sexual desire. This combination often makes ovulation a time when women feel at their best mentally and emotionally. However, the rapid hormonal shifts can also lead to mood swings for some women. 

• Strengths: Communication & Collaboration

• Focus: Open-up, socialize, collaborate, be seen, host get togethers, have important conversations

Luteal Phase (10-14 days) - During this phase progesterone levels peak and more calories are needed. The peak levels of progesterone in the beginning of this phase can have a calming effect, promoting relaxation and subdued mood. However, if pregnancy does not occur, both estrogen and progesterone levels decline sharply towards the end of this phase leading to reduced dopamine and serotonin activity and PMS (premenstrual) symptoms like irritability, anxiety, depression and other mood disturbances for some women. 

• Strengths: Completion, Nurturing and Tending

• Focus: Take action, work, do, produce and celebrate how powerful you are

Menstrual Phase (3-7 days) - During this phase estrogen and progesterone levels are at their lowest (reducing dopamine and serotonin activity), body temperature drops and warming foods are needed. The drop in these hormones can lead to feelings of fatigue, irritability and low mood. Some women also experience physical symptoms like cramps, headaches and lower back pain, which can further impact mental health and overall well-being. 

• Strengths: Evaluation and Intuition

• Focus: Rest, relax and reflect on the past month, journal, self-compassion, listen to your intuition and let it guide you in setting intention for next follicular phase

Hormonal Fluctuations and Mental Health

The hormonal fluctuations throughout the infradian cycle have a significant impact on mental health. Estrogen and progesterone, the primary female sex hormones, play major roles in the regulation of dopamine and serotonin, two key neurotransmitters involved in mood, motivation and overall mental health. 

Estrogen plays a critical role in the production of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that regulates mood, and it may also inhibit the reuptake of serotonin allowing it to remain in the synaptic gap longer, thereby enhancing the effects of serotonin. When estrogen levels are high, serotonin production increases, leading to a more positive mood. Estrogen can also increase dopamine production in the brain and also the sensitivity and density of dopamine receptors. This can enhance the effects of dopamine, potentially improving mood, focus and cognitive function. Conversely, when estrogen levels drop, serotonin and dopamine activity decreases, which can result in mood swings, anxiety and depression. 
Progesterone’s impact on serotonin is more complex and can depend on the balance with estrogen. When progesterone levels are higher than estrogen, like in the luteal phase, it can reduce the positive effects estrogen has on serotonin. The calming effect that progesterone can have comes from its interaction with the GABA system where it counterbalances the excitatory effect of serotonin, leading to a more stabilized but potentially subdued mood. Progesterone has a more inhibitory effect on dopamine activity reducing dopamine driven arousal and reward seeking behaviors and ultimately having a more soothing effect on the brain. Progesterone interacts with GABA receptors (the brain’s primary calming neurotransmitters) helping to reduce anxiety and promote restful sleep. However, a sudden drop in progesterone (like during the end of the luteal phase) can trigger symptoms of PMS including mood swings and increased anxiety. 

Conclusion

The infradian cycle is a powerful biological force that influences every aspect of a woman’s life, from physical energy levels to emotional well-being. By learning about (you are already doing this!) and respecting the infradian rhythm, you can foster a deeper connection with your body, improve your mental health and live in greater harmony with your natural cycles. Whether through lifestyle adjustments, self-care practices, or professional support, aligning with the infradian rhythm offers a path to enhanced well-being and a more balanced life.

Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!

September: Harvest, Reflect & Release

Hello Brave Community!

As we move into September, the energy shifts towards harvest -- both literally and metaphorically. This time of year invites us to appreciate the fruits of our labor, reflect on the journey we've taken, and prepare for release.

Just as nature transitions from the busyness of summer to the introspection of autumn, we too, are called to slow down and take stock of our inner landscape. September is a time to honor our efforts, celebrate the growth and abundance in our lives and begin acknowledging the mindsets, relationships and patterns that are no longer serving us.  

As the days grow shorter, many people experience a natural slowing down in their energy and productivity levels. The change of season may also stir up unresolved emotions, inviting you to confront what is no longer helpful or needed.

If you've been looking for a way to grow in your spirituality or connect to yourself deeper, allow September to pull you into the practice of balance. Balancing gratitude for your efforts during the growing season (summer) and the abundance in your life with reflecting on, identifying and making a plan to let go of your inner blocks. 

If you'd like support in creating balance in your life, check out the next section on rituals for the autumnal equinox, or, reach out to us! We love guiding people to understand and release what's getting in the way of experience balance in their lives. Just email us at info@bravecounseling.com and we will be in touch ASAP!

Rituals for the Autumn Equinox

Mark your calendar! This year the Autumn Equinox is on Sunday 9/22. 

During the equinox, the earth’s tilt is such that neither the northern nor southern hemisphere is tilted toward or away from the sun, creating a balance between daytime and nighttime. 

The Autumn Equinox represents a time of balance, reflection, gratitude and transition as the day and night are equal in length, symbolizing harmony between light and dark, or external and internal worlds. 

To help embody and not just think of these autumnal equinox themes, here are some ritual options for this special day:

1. Harvest Feast

Purpose: To celebrate abundance and community

How To:

1. Prepare a meal with seasonal ingredients like squash, apples, pumpkins and grains. 

2. Invite loved ones to join you, or enjoy a solo meal with mindful awareness

3. Use the meal as an opportunity to reflect on the abundance in your life and share gratitude.

**Perhaps consider combining this ritual with either or both of the rituals listed below

2. Gratitude Ritual

Purpose: To express thanks for the abundance and blessings in your life.

How To:

1. Create a small altar with symbols of harvest (sunflowers, apples, candles, pumpkins, grains, leaves, crystals like citrine and/or smoky quartz etc.)

2. Light a candle and meditate on the abundance and blessings in your life

3. Journal or make a list of what you’re grateful for and either read these aloud or write them on pieces of paper and place at the altar to offer thanks

3. Balance Meditation

Purpose: To connect with the spiritual and emotional themes of balance inherent in the equinox.

How To:

1. Site in a quiet space and focus on your breath

2. Envision balance in your life or bring the concept of balance very clearly into your mind’s eye

3. Allow the areas in your life that feel off-balance to come to you and set intentions to bring harmony to those aspects of your life

Therapist Highlight: Amy Reid

Meet the amazing Amy Reid!

Amy is a Navy Veteran and Licensed Professional Counselor with a Master of Science in Counseling, Marriage, Child and Family Therapy.

Her clinical background consists of helping couples, individuals, families, children, and adolescents address and overcome trauma, anxiety, relational problems, anger, infidelity, addiction, and life transitions.

Amy has owned and operated a host home for developmentally disabled adults empowering them to achieve greater independence. Amy also spent over a year studying with a Shaman where she learned energy healing and is adept in spiritual development and has certifications in Reiki and Munay Ki.

Amy is empathic, genuine, curious, accepting and creative in the way she works with folks. She takes a strength-based, client-centered and solution-focused approach and integrates various therapeutic methods including Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Trauma Focused CBT, Functional Family Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy, mindfulness, Behavioral Activation Therapy, Experiential Therapy, Narrative, Existential Therapy, ABA, and Motivational Interviewing.

Amy enjoys working with...

• Couples, adolescents, children, adults and folks with developmental disabilities

• Anxiety, grief/loss, depression, ADHD, phobias, trauma, stress management,  guilt/shame, self-esteem/ self-worth issues, family turmoil, relationship dynamics and communication breakdowns

• Folks who are looking for increased independence, healthy coping skills, behavior modification and improved self-regulation

Amy as a person:

• Personality: warm, non-judgmental and curious

• Activities: enjoying the outdoors, specifically hiking, fishing, photography, camping and reading tarot and providing intuitive readings

• Foods: lots of different things, but LOVES cherries!

• Travels: Amy recently moved back to Colorado where she was born and raised after 4.5 years of traveling as a military family & working with military children and families in Japan and Alaska working with military children and families. She loved getting to experience different cultures by living in different areas of the world vs. just traveling.

• Quotes:"Leap and the net will appear. - John Burroughs, and, "Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but rather by the moments that take our breath away" - Maya Angelou

• Pets: Oreo (see picture)

If you find yourself drawn to Amy, send us an email and we will get you connected to her for a FREE consultation!

Self-Care & Strategies for Backlash for Recovering People Pleasers

Learning to connect to yourself, care for yourself and handle backlash are key to healing from and letting go of people-pleasing. 

Trust us, we get it. We know first hand how hard it can be to let go of people-pleasing. Many therapists and helping professionals find their way to the field because we too had to practice *a certain skill set* from a young age. We know what it takes to heal the emotional wounds and let go of the urges to control and protect by being pleasing and likable. 

We also know how worth it it is to get to know yourself deeply and understand your worth so that self-care and boundaries begin to fall into place naturally. Check out the list below for practical self-care tools and strategies for dealing with backlash that will help you in your recovery from people-pleasing:

Self-Care Tools:

• Get Enough - practice completing the sequence of needing, asking, receiving, filling up and pushing away (what you missed out on in early, formative relationships). Taking in energy (nourishment) directly gives you the experience of fullness which will begin to give you feelings of strength, expansion and self-confidence.

• Self Referencing - practice tuning into and referencing your own core. This will help you learn how to measure what you have and what you need, breaking the pattern of self-neglect/going without.

• Self-Compassion - do your best to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Give yourself permission to struggle, to feel your feelings and encourage yourself with compassion instead of criticism.

• Schedule “Me” Time - literally put it on your calendar and commit to it like you would a work meeting. Your “Me Time” can be anything you want it to be - you can engage in hobbies, take a class, do nothing - it’s your time to spend how you’d like, in a way that feels good to you. This might be confusing at first because you never really got the opportunity to know yourself and what your preferences are. Be patient and try to be okay with not knowing and experimenting!

• Mindfulness & Meditation - do your best to commit to meditating each day. Spend 5-20 minutes focusing on the present moment which can help reduce anxiety and help you stay grounded in your own needs and desires.

• Physical Care - do your best to get daily movement, nutritious meals, 8-9 hours of sleep, hydration (~90 ounces of water/day). Even though this may seem basic, good physical self-care on a consistent basis is crucial for mental well-being.

• Journaling - write about your thoughts and feelings regularly (daily if possible). This can help you process your emotions and gain insight into your behaviors, motivations and needs.

• Creative Activities - activities like painting, writing, pottery, playing music, etc. can help you express yourself authentically because creative processes are gateways to the core self.

• Celebrate Small Wins - it can be easy to miss your progress because you are with yourself day in and day out. Do your best to reflect intentionally on your wins for the day or week related to letting go of people-pleasing. 

• Assertiveness  Skill Building - learning to express your needs and desires clearly and confidently is a game changer for recovering people-pleasers. Assertiveness skills will help you meet your needs and set and maintain boundaries. 

• Delegate (Let Others Help) - you are used to doing everything for others and nothing or the bare minimum for yourself. As you let go of and recover from people-pleasing, do your best to receive support and help from others. Start small, maybe something you don’t even really need help with but let someone else do it and observe what that’s like for you.

• “Yes” and “No” in Your Body - work on reconnecting and building a relationship with your body. As you do this, you will learn what kinds of sensations come through when you actually want to do something (“yes”) and when you do not (“no”). 

• Seek Support - start therapy or talk to your therapist about your wins and struggles related to letting go of people-pleasing. Your therapist can provide you with compassion, validation, tools and strategies to build a healthier relationship with yourself and others. Group therapy can also be very useful in taking care of yourself as you recover from people pleasing!

Strategies for Dealing with Backlash:

• Root Into Your “Why” - revisiting your motivation or why you decided to stop people-pleasing in the first place. Keeping your motivations front of mind can help you stay strong in the face of backlash. Write these down on a notecard or in the notes section of your phone for easy access!

• Build Your Distress Tolerance - in particular build your ability to feel and stay present with the emotions and sensations of guilt & shame. Feeling guilty, or like you’re “a bad person” (shame) is a natural part of the process for recovering people pleasers so it’s important to learn how to be with those emotions so they don’t push you around. 

• Swap Positions - emotionally immature people will give you the most backlash to expressing your needs and setting your boundaries, so to help with this, think: “Would I react this way if someone I loved expressed their needs or a boundary to me?” or, if it’s hard to think what you would do, then think about the most loving, calm and centered person you know and think about how they would react to your needs or boundaries. 

• Acknowledge & Validate Their Feelings- acknowledge the fact that you have changed which can be confusing and challenging for others. Validate the other person’s emotions without compromising your own boundaries. Show them empathy but remain firm. Ex: “I know I used to be able to do that for you, but I no longer can. It makes sense that you’re frustrated, change can be hard at first.” 

• Set & Reiterate Your Boundaries - clearly define what behaviors you will and won’t accept and that note that you’re still figuring this out so you’ll let them know along the way just as you hope they will let you know what their boundaries are. Remember that you will have to reiterate your boundaries because people forget and most people need to hear something more than once. 

• Seek Support - Surround yourself with supportive friends or family who understand and respect your decision. It can also be incredibly helpful to talk to a therapist to receive support and guidance as you let go of a protective strategy you’ve used for most of your life.

• Expect Resistance - Be prepared for some negative reactions. People who benefitted from your people-pleasing will resist this change the most. Some will come around and others will not, which will give you clarity about which relationships to keep and which ones to let go of. Remember, healthy relationships are reciprocal and have boundaries. It’s healthy to let go of toxic relationships with folks who only want to be in a relationship with you for their own benefit.

• Practice NS Regulation - do your best to stay regulated when faced with backlash. Reacting from a place of anger will escalate the situation. It’s okay to feel angry, but do your best to communicate on behalf of the part of you that’s irritated or anger vs. letting your angry/irritate part of self do the talking. 

• Avoid Over-Explaining - You don’t need to justify your boundaries extensively, just like you don’t expect others to justify their boundaries beyond a simple explanation. A simple, clear explanation is often enough.

• Take Breaks - when the backlash becomes overwhelming, it’s okay to take a step back and gather your thoughts and feelings before re-engaging. It can be useful to have some phrases memorized to use in overwhelming moments like: “Let me think about that and I’ll let you know” or “I need to run to bathroom real quick, I’ll be right back” or “Hmmmm, that’s a really good question, I want to sit with that for a moment.” 

• Know When to Walk Away - when someone consistently disrespects your boundaries and you’ve noticed it’s a pattern, it’s time to limit or end the relationship for your own well-being. It can sometimes be useful to realize that those interactions probably aren’t feeling good to that other person either. 

In conclusion, navigating the journey of healing, letting go of and recovering from people pleasing can be empowering and challenging. By embracing self-care tools like setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion and seeking support, you can foster a healthier relationship with yourself AND with others. Equally important to your journey are the strategies for dealing with backlash, including nervous system regulation, reiterating your boundaries and validating others’ emotions, which help you maintain your newfound assertiveness with less and less guilt. Remember, this process is a testament to your healing, growth and commitment to prioritizing your well-being. As you continue on this path you’ll not only strengthen your self-worth and self-confidence, but also cultivate more authentic and balanced relationships. 

And as always, we are here for you. If you’d like additional support and guidance on breaking free from people-pleasing just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch ASAP! 

Summer Heat & Back to School

At the moment we are smack dab in the middle of the dog days of summer. Oooof! The heat this time of year is unrelenting - we are feeling it right along with you! 

This transitional time of year between summer and fall, with the persistent heat and back-to-school preparations, can often lead to experiences of overheating, overwhelm and a heightened sense of seriousness and pressure.

Whether you yourself, or your kids are heading back to school, this time of year brings a mix of energetic excitement and emotional intensity. From the joy of new beginnings to the stress of preparation, the end of summer is a period of significant change. 

In this issue of our newsletter, we will…

• explore ways to navigate this dynamic season 

• offer tips to manage the emotional and physical challenges that often accompany the end of summer and the return to school

• Highlight one of our in-house therapists who loves guiding folks through life transitions

Join us as we embrace the final stretch of summer and prepare for the opportunities and adventures of the new academic year. 

Cooling Down: Somatic Tools for Managing Heat & Overwhelm

As the heat intensifies during these final two months of summer, so can feelings of stress and overwhelm. Check out the list below for a variety of somatic tools designed to help you stay cool and regulated during this transitional time. From deep breathing techniques to cooling foods, in this section you’ll discover practical methods to manage both physical and emotional discomfort during the hottest days of the year and the back to school transition. 

• Deep Breathing - Practice slow, deep breaths (without straining) to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and promote relaxation.

• Cooling Breathwork - 

• Left Nostril Breathing - Plug your right nostril with your right thumb and inhale slowing through your left nostril. Left nostril breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system calming the mind and body, offering a cooling effect, promoting relaxation and reducing stress and overwhelm. 

• Rolled Tongue Breathing - Inhale through a rolled tongue or pursed lips, bringing in cool air to help lower your body temperature. 

• Progressive Muscle Relaxation - Tense and then relax each muscle group for ~5 seconds, starting from your toes and working your way up to your head.

• Body Scan - Sit or lie down and mentally scan your body for areas of tension or discomfort, consciously relaxing each part.

• Cool Compresses - Apply a cold cloth or ice pack to pulse points like your wrists, neck and forehead to help slow and cool your system down. 

• Hydration - Drink plenty of water throughout the day to stay hydrated and help your body regulate its temperature.

• Mindful Movement - Movement helps release anxiety and overwhelm, yet certain kinds of movement can overheat you during the final weeks of summer. Do your best to keep daily movement as part of your routine, but do your best to move mindfully (early mornings or evenings). 

• Grounding Techniques - Use grounding techniques such as feeling your feet on the floor or holding onto an ice cube to stay present in the moment and reduce feelings of stress and overwhelm. 

• Visualization - Imagine a cool, calming place, such as a high alpine meadow, a shaded forest or a beach with an umbrella and water. Use visualization to help your mind and body relax.

• Cold Showers/Cold Plunges - Take short plunges (a couple minutes or less) in cold lakes, or, turn your shower to cold for the final 30 seconds to 1 minute. Cold water can help reduce stress and overwhelm by improving circulation & sleep, boosting your mood, reducing inflammation and activating your vagus nerve.

• Cooling Foods - Incorporate hydrating and cooling foods like cucumbers, watermelon and mint into your daily meals and snacks. 

• Rest & Shade - Take breaks throughout your day in shaded or air conditioned spaces to give your nervous system and body a chance to cool down and recover.

If you find yourself wanting additional support and guidance during this transitional time…

1. You are NOT alone, and

2. Check out the next section where we highlight one of our amazing therapists who is a life transition expert! 

Therapist Highlight: Nadja Dixon

Meet the multi-talented, life transition expert, Nadja Dixon!

Nadja is a licensed professional counselor with nearly a decade of experience supporting, advocating and guiding people to heal and grow.

Her clinical background consists of a variety of experiences including substance abuse treatment, probation and parole, court advocacy, transitioning to college and independent life, skill building to support executive functioning and neurotherapy.

When working with people, Nadja gravitates toward a client-centered and strength-based approach. She offers her clients information on neurobiology, somatic-based mindfulness and DBT skills for better emotion & energy regulation. Nadja also integrates attachment and systems theory into her work with clients and is trained in neurofeedback & neurostimulation.

Nadja loves working with folks who are… 

• facing life transitions 

• struggling with anxiety

• grappling with their identity 

• experiencing overwhelming emotions, or, feeling disconnected from their emotions

• young adults, young professionals, women

Nadja as a person:

• Personality: spunky, lighthearted and kind

• Activities: travel, ceramics, wandering in nature, baking, reading/writing

• Foods: gummy bears, cheese puffs, Mediterranean, steak

• Drinks: pour over coffee, tea, water with lemon, lightly flavored lattes, Pellegrino

• Travels: Chile, France, Peru, Germany, UK and Austria

• Quotes:"Your head is a living forest full of songbirds" - E.E. Cummings - "Live every week like shark week" -Tracy Jordan - "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-/I took the ones less traveled by,/And that has made all the difference." -Robert Frost

• Pets: Huxley, a mastiff, pit bull mix and “the greatest dog alive!”

If you find yourself drawn to Nadja, send us an email and we will get you connected to her for a FREE consultation! 

Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!

Empathy vs. People Pleasing: Navigating the Fine Line

A heart-centered person in an emotionally phobic, overly logic-focused world 

• Always being aware of the energy flow and emotional connection between people

• Easily attuning to the inner state, or, feeling states & needs of others and being generous in meeting those needs

• Relationship and connection organize your life, not ideas or rules or power

• Always making sure everyone in the group is feeling included and happy

• Finding it easy to be a good listener and offering kindness, support and help to others

• Knowing the likes and dislikes of others

• Finding joy in making others feel better or happy

• Enjoyment in being with others and naturally skilled at being a “connector” i.e. bringing people together and creating community

• Good at nourishing others with love, food, connection, support, kindness and help

• Strong in right-brain functioning - emotional intelligence, receptivity and sensitivity 

• Open-hearted, accepting, trusting, slow to anger, quick to forgive and unlikely to judge others or hold a grudge 

• Able to find delight or appreciation in most things

• Happy, personable, playful and fun

• Capable of radiating so much love and kindness that it can influence or shift the energy of others

Who does this skill set belong to?

A people pleaser? An empathetic person? 

It’s okay if you’re feeling confused. It’s also okay if you found yourself resonating with the list of gifts and skills listed above. 

The truth is that both empathetic people and people pleasers use the same set of skills and even though they appear similar on the surface, empathy and people-pleasing are rooted in different places internally and lead to vastly different outcomes. Understanding and being able to discern between empathy and people-pleasing is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and personal well-being. 

What is Empathy?

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It involves putting yourself in another’s shoes and the ability to feel into a place within yourself that is the same emotion and sensation that the other person is feeling. 

The Roots of Empathy

Empathy is rooted in emotional nurturance and intelligence, self-compassion and extending that same compassion to others, and connection to self and self-worth and offering that same deep, meaningful connection to others.

What is People Pleasing?

People-pleasing, on the other hand, is a survival mechanism. People learn to be pleasing or likable to the people around them as a way to gain acceptance, avoid conflict and ensure safety in challenging environments. By prioritizing others’ needs and approval a person tries to reduce the risk of disconnection/rejection/abandonment, because when we are young we can’t yet meet all of our own needs therefore connection equals survival. 

If a person is having to people-please in their relationships in order to maintain the connection then they are not afforded the opportunity to be their truest, most authentic self which is where a human’s sense of self and self-worth comes from.

The Roots of People Pleasing

Unlike empathy, people-pleasing is rooted in wounding, fear, low self-worth (aka insecurity), protection and survival.

The Key Differences Between Empathy and People Pleasing

1. Motivation: Empathy is driven by a deep inner connection to yourself that fosters a genuine desire to connect and understand others, while people-pleasing is driven by emotional/psychological wounding that pushes you to maintain connection to others at whatever cost for “safety” and survival.

2. Boundaries: Empathetic individuals maintain healthy boundaries because they are connected to themselves and their worth and therefore able to recognize their own needs and limits. People pleasers struggle to set and hold boundaries because they’ve always had to focus outward on others and prioritize other’s needs over their own. 

3. Emotional Impact: Practicing empathy typically leads to fulfilling and balanced relationships. In contrast, people-pleasing often results in resentment, burnout, and emotional exhaustion.

4. Authenticity: Empathy encourages authentic connections based on mutual understanding. People-pleasing, however, leads to inauthentic interactions, as individuals didn’t get to know themselves deeply and then be their true selves because their attention had to be focused on how to gain approval from others.

If you’ve read this far, take a moment to pause and be kind to yourself. We know this is a lot to digest. 

Many people-pleasers consider themselves to be empaths which is understandable because both use the same set of skills. We know it can be challenging to learn that what you thought was empathy is actually people-pleasing and that the root of people pleasing is wounding and low self-worth. It would also make sense if you’re feeling uneasy right now about having low-self worth because it would be more pleasing to have high self-worth.

We want you to know that…

• Your people-pleasing and your low self-worth are not your fault

• You are not any less lovable because you struggle with self-worth

• You were never given the opportunity to get to know yourself and your worth because it was more important to your survival to focus on others

Understanding the distinction between empathy and people-pleasing is crucial for personal growth and healthy relationships. While empathy enriches our connections, people-pleasing erodes our sense of self. By cultivating self-awareness, practicing self-compassion and setting boundaries, it is possible to foster genuine empathy without losing yourself or compromising your own well-being. 

If you’re ready to shed the wounding and the protections, aka the people-pleasing, and step further into your gifts of empathy - we got you! Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

People Pleasing: What It Is, Where It Comes From, and Why It Hurts

Have you looked forward to spending time with family and friends only to find yourself drained and disappointed afterwards?

Do you get mad at yourself for smiling and nodding along, despite actually disagreeing with what’s being said?

Do you feel busy and stressed most days?

If you found yourself resonating with these questions, it could be that you have a tendency toward people-pleasing. Maybe you already know this because you searched “people-pleasing” and this blog popped up. Either way, you are not alone. 

In truth, people-pleasing is a protective mechanism that many women have. It’s not good or bad or right or wrong (although it can cause some undesirable symptoms and outcomes), it just is. And when you think about it, people-pleasing is a fairly understandable pattern of protective behavior given the circumstances i.e. the patriarchy, being raised by parents using outdated authoritative models of parenting, receiving an education in the public school system whose curriculums are predetermined and based on student control and compliance, etc.

People-pleasing is a deeply ingrained, protective pattern where an individual prioritizes others’ needs, desires and approval over their own well-being and preferences. This pervasive need to please others often looks like: 

• Always needing to perform really well or perfectly

• Difficulty saying “no”, not wanting to disappoint others 

• Overcommitting yourself, taking on too much, always being busy

• Being “chill”, easy-going, agreeable to others i.e. “a chameleon” 

• Chronic anxiety and feeling uneasy when feedback is not available or received

• Avoiding conflict and suppressing personal opinions, feelings and needs to try and “keep the peace”

• Frequently apologizing or saying “sorry” to preempt potential disapproval or anger from others 

• Often using pleasing language like, “I’m fine with whatever you want” or “It doesn’t matter to me” (even when it does)

• Sacrificing personal time and energy to cater to others at the cost of themselves

• Pretending to be interested, feigning interest or enthusiasm in topics or activities that don’t genuinely interest you

• Fear of emotional reactions, disconnection and rejection from others

• Energetically merging with others, feeling their emotions as if their your own and feeling responsible for changing their emotional state

Understanding the roots of people-pleasing is key to letting go of it which is essential for well-being. People pleasing is rooted in deep-seated fears and beliefs formed during early life experiences often within the context of relationships. At some point in time it was important for you to be “easy”, accommodating and helpful in order to maintain your connection to others with limited emotional capacities because when humans are young survival is dependent on connection.

When a person unconsciously uses the protective mechanism of people-pleasing over time it manifests psychologically, physically and spiritually - it becomes more like a way of being in the world, intertwined with your personality, which is why it can be so difficult to shake. 

As we mentioned earlier, ongoing people-pleasing will lead to undesirable symptoms and outcomes like…

• Chronic Stress & Anxiety - from constantly trying to predict, anticipate and meet others expectations or control their emotions by being likable or pleasing

• Low Sense of Self & Self-Worth - always looking outward to others for what is “right” and “good” does not allow much of an opportunity to focus on your emotions, needs and who you are therefore resulting in low sense of self and self-worth

• Physical Health Issues - chronic stress and anxiety, plus neglecting your own emotions and needs can lead to various health problems including headaches, sleep issues, gastrointestinal problems, etc.

• Burnout - overcommitting, not setting boundaries and neglecting your own emotions and needs can result in physical and emotional exhaustion

• Emotional Exhaustion - constant fatigue, overwhelm, decreased motivation and emotional numbness due to being emotionally depleted and drained from the excessive demands others to have on your emotions & energy and feeling others’ emotions as if they are your own

• Loss of Identity - constantly accommodating others and conforming to their expectations of you and the world makes it difficult to know your true self and desires

• Unhealthy Relationships - people-pleasing can attract people with manipulative behaviors, your needs overlooked/neglected, people can’t truly get to know you, co-dependent relationships 

• Resentment - sacrificing your own needs leads to feelings of anger and resentment toward others and your life

• Depression - persistent neglect of your emotions, needs and desires can contribute to feelings of anger, grief/loss, sadness, hopelessness and powerlessness

• Decision Paralysis - difficulty or inability to make decisions due to fear of upsetting or disappointing others with your choices

• Ineffective Communication - inability or difficulty expressing your true thoughts and feelings can lead to misunderstandings and lack of authentic connections

• Career Impact - overcommitting and not advocating for yourself can hinder professional growth and satisfaction

Oooof! People-pleasing can do quite a number on mental, physical and spiritual health so if you find yourself identifying with the information in this blog do your best to be compassionate toward yourself. Remember that people-pleasing isn’t something you’re choosing, you’re just stuck in an old pattern of protection that is possible to let go of now that you’re an adult with choice and autonomy. 

Ultimately, overcoming people pleasing is about embracing your authentic self. It’s a journey of self-discovery and self-love, where we learn that it’s okay and necessary to turn inward, focus on ourselves to receive and honor our needs and desires. By doing so, we can create more genuine and fulfilling connections with others, rooted in mutual respect and understanding. 

If you’re tired of feeling tired and living your life for everyone but yourself, it might be time to heal, grow and transform. Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit a contact form and ask us how we can support and guide you in letting go of people-pleasing!

Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!

Locked in the Body: The Neurobiological Impact of Trauma and Somatic Healing

“Recent studies and discoveries point out that we heal primarily in and through the body, not just through the rational brain. We can all create more room, and more opportunities for growth, in our nervous systems. But we do this primarily through what our bodies experience and do – not through what we think or realize or cognitively figure out.”

— Resmaa Menakem

“Until we understand that traumatic symptoms are physiological as well as psychological, we will be woefully inadequate in our attempts to heal them.”

— Peter Levine 

Trauma is not just a psychological experience; it has profound physical implications as well. When someone endures trauma, whether it’s from a single overwhelming event or chronic, repeated stress, these events get experienced through the body, therefore, it is also the body that stores these experiences. 

Understanding how trauma manifests in the body and utilizing somatic, or body-based, techniques and tools to release it is essential for deep healing and transformation to occur. 

How Trauma Manifests Physically

The Body’s Response to Trauma

1. Stress Responses: When faced with a traumatic experience, the body activates instinctual survival reactions, known as stress responses. When the brain’s limbic system detects a threat to a person’s safety (humans have many layers of safety - emotional, relational, physical or spiritual) a signal is sent for the release of adrenaline and cortisol to flood the inner system, preparing the body to confront or escape the threat. If the trauma is severe or prolonged, a person can wind up living in a chronic state of stress and survival, leading to constant states of hyper or hypo arousal. 

   1. Freeze Response: In some cases, particularly when escape or confrontation isn’t possible, the nervous system/body may enter a freeze state. This response can result in numbness, dissociation and a feeling of being stuck. 

Physical Manifestations

1. Muscle Tension: Chronic trauma can lead to persistent muscle tension, often in the neck, shoulders, and back. This tension can cause pain and limit mobility. 

2. Somatic Symptoms: Trauma can manifest as a variety of somatic (body-based) symptoms, including headaches, gastrointestinal issues and chronic pain. These symptoms are often misdiagnosed or attributed to other causes. 

3. Respiratory Issues: Trauma can affect breathing patterns, leading to shallow or rapid breathing. This can perpetuate a state of anxiety and further stress the body. 

4. Cardiovascular Strain: Prolonged stress from trauma can increase the risk of heart disease and other cardiovascular issues due to the constant presence of stress hormones in the system. 

How Trauma is Stored in the Body 

Trauma is stored in the body through a complex interplay of neural, hormonal and muscular responses. The body remembers trauma through:

1. Neural Pathways: Traumatic memories can become encoded in the brain’s neural pathways. These pathways can trigger physical responses even when the original trauma is not consciously remembered. 

2. Muscle Memory: Muscles can hold onto the tension and patterns of protection form during a traumatic event. This is why specific body parts often feel tight or painful in relation to certain memories or emotions. 

3. Autonomic Nervous System Dysregulation: If a person cannot fight or flee the stress response remains incomplete and the energy intended to mobilize the person for action gets stuck in the nervous system/body. Often, a secondary freeze response mediated by the parasympathetic nervous system occurs, causing a shutdown or dissociation which can leave the body in a state of immobility with high levels of stored energy leading to symptoms like chronic anxiety, fatigue and hypervigilance. 

4. Cellular Memory: Some theories suggest that trauma can be stored at the cellular level, potentially altering gene expression, impacting the immune system and affecting the body’s overall function and health. 

Understanding that trauma is not just a mental experience but a physical one is crucial for comprehensive healing. By recognizing how trauma manifests and is stored in the body, you can better address your symptoms and begin to finally heal. Somatic therapeutic modalities like sensorimotor psychotherapy, somatic experiencing (SE), somatic EMDR and somatic IFS offer a range of techniques to help release trauma stored in the body providing a pathway to holistic healing and well-being. 

If you or someone you know is struggling with the emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual manifestations of trauma, don’t hesitate to reach out! Working to heal trauma in a somatic way can be incredibly healing and transformative. Just head to the upper right-hand corner of our website to contact us and we will be in touch with you as soon as possible. 

Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!

More Than Meets the Eye: The Varied Roots of Trauma

Have you ever wondered if you’ve experienced trauma? 

You are not alone in feeling confused about this, some traumatic experiences are less obvious than others. Sometimes experiences are traumatic because it’s too much, too soon; other times it’s too little too late or not enough at all. 

Check out the following list to better understand the diverse array of experiences that can lead to trauma and trauma related symptoms. 

Types of Trauma:

• Acute Trauma - resulting from a single, specific event (car accident, natural disaster, sudden loss, etc.)

• Chronic Trauma - resulting from repeated and prolonged exposure to highly stressful events (ongoing domestic violence, long-term child abuse, etc.)

• Complex Trauma - exposure to multiple traumatic events and/or different kinds of trauma, often of interpersonal (between people) nature like repeated abuse, neglect, or domestic violence

• Developmental Trauma - trauma experienced during critical periods of childhood development, often due to neglect, abuse or inconsistent caregiving 

• Secondary or Vicarious Trauma - trauma experienced indirectly through exposure to another person’s traumatic experiences (therapists, first responders, healthcare professionals, case managers, kids/family members/loved ones, etc.)

• Emotional and Psychological Abuse - trauma resulting from lack of emotional nurturance/emotional neglect, verbal abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, belittling, degrading, and other forms of psychological harm, leading to diminished self-worth and trust

• Sexual Trauma - trauma resulting from sexual abuse or assault, impacting physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological well-being

• Relational Trauma - trauma occurring within important relationships, such as attachment injuries, betrayal, abandonment, or dysfunctional family dynamics

• Culture or Identity Trauma - trauma related to the experiences of discrimination, racism, or oppression based on one’s cultural, racial, religious or sexual identity

• Medical Trauma - trauma resulting from experiences related to medical procedures or chronic illness, including the fear and stress of serious health issues

• Grief and Loss Trauma - trauma experienced following the death or loss of a loved one, leading to intense emotional pain and distress

• Occupational Trauma - trauma resulting from experiences in high-stress or dangerous professions 

• Refugee or Immigration Trauma - trauma experienced by individuals fleeing war, conflict, persecution, or seeking a better life, often involving multiple traumatic events

• Institutional or Systemic Trauma - trauma resulting from experiences within institutional settings (prisons, orphanages, etc.) or system issues like injustice and corruption

Woah! Right?! It can be hard to wrap our heads around just how many experiences can cause psychological wounding aka trauma. 

It’s also important to note that trauma manifests differently depending on the kind of experience(s) that lead to it. For example, relational and developmental trauma often gets woven into a person’s personality because these kinds of experiences are happening as a person is growing up (developing) when neural networks and nervous system pathways are forming. Relational and developmental trauma look slightly less like classic PTSD symptoms and more like ways of being and relating, although PTSD symptoms can emerge as well. Whereas, with an acute traumatic experience, like a natural disaster, trauma symptoms will manifest more traditionally such as intrusions, avoidance, arousal and negative changes in  thinking & mood. 

The various roots of trauma and the different ways trauma symptoms can manifest (amongst other factors) is what makes it difficult for folks to know if they have experienced trauma. Generally speaking, *most* people have experienced trauma whether they are aware of it or not. And, as holistic therapists, we believe that all humans, trauma or no trauma, have had experiences in this human life that are in need of healing. 

If you’re feeling ready to heal, grow and expand beyond the life you know now, we are here for you. We are a group of trauma-focused, somatic therapists who can support and guide you beyond what you thought possible for yourself. Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch as soon as possible. 

Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!

Understanding Trauma: A Holistic Approach

“OMG that elevator ride was traumatizing! Has that person ever heard of deodorant!?” I chuckled to myself as I overheard this conversation amongst friends…sometimes it’s weird for us therapists out in the wild.  

Even though I was smiling and shaking my head, overhearing this little snippet got me thinking that the word trauma has become part of the popular vernacular, but in actuality, very few of us truly know what trauma is or what it means to be traumatized. 

The word ‘trauma’ is a Greek word that literally means ‘wound’ or ‘wounding’, but in a way that overwhelms the person’s ability to cope. We often think of trauma as the event(s) or experience(s) that happen to us, but really, trauma isn't the event or experience at all, it's what happens inside us as a result of what happened i.e. trauma is the psychological wound that is sustained from going through certain experiences. 

Psychological wounds are typically made up of...

• Unfinished stress responses, or, an OVER or UNDER activation of energy within the inner system aka dysregulation

• Disembodiment, because the intense stress and overwhelming emotions were too much for the mind, body & soul to handle all at once so the brain often employs dissociation as a defense mechanism which takes the person out of their body

• Lack of connection before, during and/or after the experience aka disconnection

• Limiting or trauma-related beliefs (the meaning a part of you made of the experience like, "I don't matter" or “I’m not good enough” or “Other people aren’t safe”)

As holistic therapists we aim to treat the whole person rather than just the symptoms of trauma. We believe that as humans we are complex and multi-faceted. We are not just mind, or just body…we are mind, emotion, body and soul and ALL of these dimensions get affected by trauma and therefore ALL of these dimensions must be tended to in order for healing to occur. 

Take a car accident for example. While it’s tempting to think that a car accident would affect someone the most physically, it’s often the case that the trauma of a car accident reaches far beyond just the physical injuries. A person who’s been traumatized by a car accident might start experiencing intrusive thoughts and imagery from their car accident (mental), filling their body with sensations of fear and terror (physical and emotional), pushing them to think about whether or not there’s any meaning to living this human life if it could just end at any instant (spiritual).

Woah, right?! This example also details another important feature of trauma which is trauma has the tendency to bleed across all spheres of a person’s life vs. staying contained to that one moment in time. 

At this point, you might find your brain wandering to the thought, “Well, I’ve been in a car accident and I wasn’t traumatized by it….so, how does that work?”

Another key facet of trauma is that it is deeply personal. It’s true that two people could experience the same thing and one can walk away unaffected while the other becomes traumatized. This is because as humans we are all different, uniquely ourselves. 

Even though we are all essentially the same recipe (blood, bone, tissue, ligaments, muscles, organs, etc.), we all have different backgrounds, different formative experiences that have shaped us. 

Early experiences shape our neural networking and the ways in which our neural networks are shaped can set us up to have a deep well of inner and outer resources, or….not so much. In the therapy world we call these protective factors, i.e. the things that can offer some protection against the effects of trauma. 

Protective factors are things like: a strong social network filled with healthy relationships, access to services, a stable home environment, supportive work or school environments, good physical health, supportive spiritual/religious beliefs & practices, education & knowledge, economic stability and inner resources (a strong sense of self & self-worth, problem solving skills, emotion regulation skills, interoception & proprioception, self-compassion, serotonin & dopamine levels, hormone levels, etc.).

As holistic therapists we understand that a major part of healing trauma is about reconnecting folks to a sense of safety and protection, which, for those that didn’t really have that to begin with, healing requires them to build and develop those things. This is why the length of time it takes to heal trauma is different for each person and why each person will need different things from their trauma healing journey.  

Viewing and healing trauma holistically is a comprehensive approach that sees beyond the symptoms to get at the root cause (the psychological wound) in order to attend to the whole person - mind, body and soul. Holistic healing blends powerful therapeutic techniques with traditional/ancient practices that not only help people process and release their traumatic experiences, but it also fosters resilience, self-awareness and a renewed sense of empowerment.

If you’ve been confused about whether or not you’ve experienced trauma, don’t hesitate to reach out to us by heading to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website and stay tuned! In our next blogs we will be offering information on the different experiences that can lead to trauma, as well as, how the body stores trauma and how somatic therapy can be particularly useful in healing trauma.

Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!

July 2024: Common Blocks to Play, Joy & Pleasure & a Mid Year Review in 5 Steps

Hello Brave Community!

As the sun shines brighter and temperatures rise, we find ourselves in the vibrant embrace of summer. The summer season is a time filled with solar energy and joy, it’s the perfect opportunity to celebrate life's moments, both big and small. Whether it’s a spontaneous picnic in the park, a long-awaited reunion with loved ones, or simply enjoying the warmth of a sun-drenched afternoon, summer invites us to savor each experience with a playful spirit and an open heart. 

• How has your summer been feeling? 

• Have you been able to play and feel joy? 

• Have you appreciated and celebrated? 

If, upon reading this, you find yourself feeling sad, empty or frustrated, you are not alone. Despite the season supporting playful and joyful experiences, there are many of us that struggle to feel these things. Instead, your summer so far might be filled with work and stress. You find yourself longing for fun and play, but you aren’t quite sure how to shift the way you’re relating to your life. You aren’t quite sure how to let yourself feel joy and gratitude. 

Don’t worry, we got you. Check out section 2 where we cover common blocks people experience when it comes to play, pleasure and joy.

Common Blocks to Play, Joy & Pleasure:

Throughout our lives, especially when we are growing and developing, we all go through stressful, painful and traumatic experiences. These experiences are often where our blocks to play, joy and pleasure are rooted. Check out the list below to see some common symptoms of attachment injuries and trauma which develop into blocks to play, joy and pleasure.

• Stress & Anxiety - When experiencing stress and anxiety, the brain releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, activating the amygdala (responsible for the flight-fight-freeze survival responses) and impairing the prefrontal cortex, which is essential for presence. These responses can lead to heightened alertness and a focus on perceived threats, often at the expense of play, pleasure and joy. 

• Perfectionism - Despite it being a defensive or protective mechanism, the constant pursuit of perfection creates pressure and dissatisfaction, preventing one from finding joy in the present moment. 

• Guilt - Feelings of guilt can arise for some folks when they try to take time for themselves or experience pleasure. This flooding of guilt often stems from attachment-related wounding and trauma. 

• Fear of Judgment - Worrying about what others think can stifle spontaneity and playfulness, limiting one’s ability to express joy freely and receive pleasure. This fear of judgment often stems from relational trauma i.e. early and/or many experiences having been criticized, judged and disconnected from. 

• Negative Self-Talk - Constantly criticizing oneself or experiencing intrusive negative thoughts can dampen one’s mood and diminish the capacity for joy. Negative self-talk is often a byproduct or past relational traumas and attachment injuries. 

• Low Self-Esteem - A lack of self worth can lead to feeling undeserving of happiness and pleasure. Lacking a strong sense of self and self worth also traces back to attachment related injuries, developmental trauma, emotional neglect and relational trauma. 

• Overwhelm - Being overwhelmed with responsibilities and obligations can leave little room for relaxation and enjoyment. The tendency to overload oneself is a defense mechanism stemming from various types of trauma.  

• Depression - Depression can significantly impact one’s ability to feel any emotion, let alone joy, play and pleasure. Depression often manifests as a pervasive sense of sadness and disinterest and stems from repressed emotions that were never safe to fully feel. 

• Lack of Mindfulness - Being disconnected from the present moment can prevent one from fully appreciating and savoring the joyful experiences life has to offer. Chronic disconnection, disembodiment and distraction are also symptoms rooted in trauma and other stressful or painful experiences. 

• Isolation - Social isolation or lack of meaningful connection can reduce opportunities for shared joy and playful interactions. Isolation is a defensive or protective mechanism that often shows up in people who have experienced attachment injuries or relational traumas. 

• Fear of Vulnerability - Fear of being vulnerable can inhibit one’s willingness to engage in playful activities or express joy openly. Fear of vulnerability often stems from experiences of getting disconnected from, criticized, judged or abused when a person was fully themselves, expressing not only their strengths but also their silliness, fears and weaknesses. 

So..if you are someone who struggles to truly feel & express joy, play and pleasure it is not your fault. Attachment injuries and traumas significantly impact an individual’s ability to experience play, joy and pleasure. These early wounds often lead to the development of symptoms and defense mechanisms (listed above) which were initially helpful in coping with distressing experiences, but ultimately they create barriers to engaging fully in life’s positive and spontaneous moments. 

The good news is that attachment wounds and past traumas can be healed! Healing breaks down these defenses, allowing you to reconnect with your innate capacity for joy and to rediscover the lightness and freedom of play and pleasure.

Mid-Year Review:

​​We are halfway through the year. Yeppers, that's right! Half of 2024 is already behind us.

Some of us might have a clear recollection of where our time and energy has gone this year, and some of us might be thinking,"Woah, half way through already?! Where has the time gone?" Wherever you're at, we encourage you to take pause and begin a mid-year review process. 

Step 1: Recall, Remind & Refresh! - Find and re-read your 2024 intentions and goals. Really take your time to just sit with your intentions and goals so that you have the clarity you need for step 2. 

Step 2: What did you notice in your body?

• Energy flowing throughout your body? Lack of energy or pressured energy?

• Openness & spaciousness? Constriction & tension?

• A sense of "I've got this"? A sense of doubt, uncertainty & fear?

The areas where you notice flowing, spacious energy and that sense of "I've got this" are areas of your life where you are resourced and therefore you'll continue healing, growing and expanding.

The areas where you notice lack of or pressured energy, constriction and a sense of doubt are areas in your life where you are in deficit and therefore you are blocked and stuck. This kind of energy can also mean that the goals or intentions you set are no longer aligned with who you are at your core.

Step 3: Reassess - Because we are complex, holistic creatures we rarely have a "one-note" experience. It's likely that you noticed a number of things when you reminded yourself of your New Year's goals and intentions. 

This is not the time to shame or criticize yourself for lack of progress. Instead, we encourage you to reassess your goals and intentions to get clear on the exact next steps that are needed as you journey into the remaining 6 months of 2024. 

Step 4: Journal & Reset - Complete the journal prompts listed below.

• Do your 2024 New Year’s intentions and goals still align for you? If yes, what tells you that? If no, what tells you that?

• For the goals and intentions that are still aligned: Is there anything you need to shift within yourself to support your progress?

• For the goals and intentions that are no longer aligned: What is needed? A letting go? Or, can the intention or goal be shifted into alignment somehow?

• In general, what needs to happen in your body and with your energy to achieve your 2024 goals?

Step 5: Compassion Not Criticism - Instead of trying to motivate yourself through criticism, motivate yourself from a place of compassion. Compassion actually creates more accountability for ourselves and allows us to move through challenging emotions like disappointment and guilt quicker.

Operating from a place of compassion and focusing your attention on your wins (even small wins) fills your body with a higher frequency energy which can propel you into the next 6 months! Compassion and celebration resource your inner system, whereas criticism floods your system with shame energy which is heavy and keeps you stuck. 

Send us an email back to let us know how your mid-year review process goes!

Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!

Embracing Your Inner Child: Healing Depression by Healing Your Inner Child

Depression is a complex and multifaceted condition that affects millions of people worldwide. As holistic therapists we have witnessed firsthand the profound impact of inner child healing for alleviating depressive symptoms and we believe it to be one of the most effective forms of treatment for depression. 

Inner child healing is a therapeutic method where you, as the adult you are now, can go back on an internal level and witness what your younger self went through and then help and heal your child self who was not able to feel and express their emotions and true self. 

This approach delves deep into the core of our emotional experiences, addressing wounds that may have been inflicted during our formative years. By nurturing our inner child, we can uncover the root causes of our pain and begin the journey toward healing. 

Understanding the Inner Child

The concept of the inner child refers to the part of ourselves that retains the innocence, creativity and vulnerability of our early years. Your inner child holds memories, emotions and experiences from childhood that significantly influence your adult life. When these early experiences include trauma, neglect, attachment injuries or unmet emotional needs, your inner child can carry these wounds into adulthood, manifesting as depression, anxiety, relationship problems, chronic dissatisfaction, and other mental health issues. 

The Connection Between Inner Child Healing and Depression

Why inner child healing for depression? Because depression is a manifestation of symptoms stemming from suppressed, unprocessed emotions, or, unresolved emotional pain and a disconnection from our true selves. 

Suppression is a protective or survival strategy that many people have to adopt early on in their lives (usually in childhood) in order to stay connected to people who provide them with care and meet their needs. As humans we have to have at least some of our needs met to survive so staying connected to others when we are young is essential. 

By reconnecting with and healing our inner child, we address these deep-seated wounds and create a foundation for lasting emotional well-being. This process involves:

• Building a loving, supportive and connected relationship to our inner child

• Witnessing how our inner child was hurt

• Feeling the emotions our inner child felt back then in our bodies now in order to finally release the bound up energy of those emotions

• Acknowledging and validating these feelings for our inner child

• Offering compassion, connection, support and new information to our inner child

As you may be able to sense in reading the process of the inner child healing, it can lead to profound shifts in our mental and emotional states. Inner child healing is not a quick fix, but a profound journey of self-discovery and personal growth. As we heal our inner child, we release the emotional burdens of the past and create a space for a more authentic and fulfilling life. This type of healing can lead to:

• Enhanced Emotional Resilience - By healing past emotional and psychological wounds we are better able to integrate our inner child which allows for greater emotional resilience and the ability to cope with many different kinds of life challenges. 

• Improved Sense of Self and Self-Esteem - Getting to know and nurture our inner child helps to build a stronger sense of self (knowing deeply who you are, what your values are and why those are your values), improved self-worth (knowing and feeling your value) and increased self-acceptance. 

• Deeper Relationships - Healing our inner child allows us to form healthier and more authentic connections with others because we can finally be all of who we are in relationships without protective mechanisms or wounds from the past influencing things. 

• Increased Joy and Fulfillment - Reconnecting with our inner child brings a sense of joy, wonder, creativity and playfulness back into our lives which give ways to wanting to engage more with life, others and the the world around us. 

If you’re someone who’s over just managing your depression symptoms and you’re ready for a deeper, more transformative approach, try inner child healing. By nurturing this vulnerable part of ourselves with compassion and understanding, we pave the way for a future filled with more connection, freedom, emotional resilience and joy! 

Curious to know more? Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website, submit your contact form or call us at 720-923-3033 and we will be in touch!

From Dysthymia to Bipolar: The Four Shades of Depression

Did you know that there are 4 different kinds of depression? 

Yeppers, it’s true. 

The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, used for diagnosing mental health disorders) identifies 4 main types of depression: Major Depressive Disorder, Persistent Depressive Disorder, Seasonal Affective Disorder and Bipolar Depression. 

Curious to know more? Keep reading for a brief description of each type, as well as, a list of symptoms that are specific to each kind of depression. 

Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)

Often simply called depression and is characterized by a persistent feeling of sadness or lack of interest. To be diagnosed with MDD a person must experience at least 5 of the following symptoms during the same 2-week period, with at least 1 of the symptoms being either depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure:

• Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day

• Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most days

• Significant weight loss or weight gain (when not dieting), or a decrease or increase in appetite

• Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day

• Restless or slowed down movement in the body nearly every day

• Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day

• Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt

• Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness

• Recurrent thoughts of death, recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or specific plan for committing suicide

Persistent Depressive Disorder

Also known as dysthymia, which is a chronic form of depression. The symptoms are not as severe as major depressive disorder, but they last much longer. For a diagnosis, a person must experience depressed mood for most of the day, for more days than not, for at least 2 years, along with at least 2 of the following symptoms:

• Poor appetite or overeating

• Insomnia or hypersomnia

• Low energy or fatigue

• Low self-esteem

• Poor concentration or difficulty making decisions

• Feelings of hopelessness

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

A type of depression that occurs at a specific time of year, usually in the winter when there is less natural sunlight. Symptoms of SAD include:

• Depressed mood

• Lack of energy

• Difficulty concentrating

• Changes in sleep patterns, such as sleeping too much

• Changes in appetite or weight, typically with a craving for carbohydrates

• Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed

• Feelings of hopefulness or worthlessness

• Social withdrawal (feeling like “hibernating” instead)

Bipolar Disorder (Bipolar Depression)

Bipolar Disorder involves episodes of both depression and mania or hypomania. Bipolar depression refers to the depressive episodes of this disorder. Symptoms during these episodes are similar to those of major depressive disorder and include:

• Depressed mood 

• Loss of interest or pleasure in most activities

• Significant weight loss or weight gain

• Insomnia or hypersomnia

• Psychomotor agitation or retardation

• Fatigue or loss of energy

• Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt

• Diminished ability to think or concentrate

• Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide

Bipolar disorder is categorized into:

• Bipolar I Disorder: manic episodes lasting at least 7 days, or manic symptoms that are so severe that immediate hospital care is needed. Depressive episodes occur as well, typically lasting at least 2 weeks.

• Bipolar II Disorder: a pattern of depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes, but not the full-blown manic episodes that are typical of Bipolar I Disorder. 

As you can see, each type of depression has its own unique characteristics and diagnostic criteria as well as some overlap with other depressive disorders. Knowing some general information and symptoms of each type can be incredibly helpful to you, or a loved one, getting the right kind of care.  

If you find yourself wanting to know more, reach out to us! We can easily set up a free consultation with you to answer your questions and get you connected to the right kinds of care if that’s something you or your loved one would like.

Connect with us for a free consultation by filling out the form on our contact page or call us at 720-923-3033. 

Understanding What Depression Really Is: Symptoms and Holistic Insights

Despite depression being one of the more well-known mental health struggles, many of us don’t really know what depression truly is and what it means to be living with depression.

Depression is deemed a mental health disorder by the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) and mainstream mental health. The DSM characterizes depression by a variety of symptoms that generally fall into 4 categories - emotional, cognitive, physical and behavioral. Check out the list below to see how depression manifests in the human body and psyche:

Emotional Symptoms:

• Persistent sadness, anxiety or empty mood

• Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism

• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness

• Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities once enjoyed

• Mood swings, including irritability or frustration

• Feeling emotionally flat or “blah”

• Tearfulness or frequent crying spells

Cognitive Symptoms (mental actions):

• Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions

• Persistent thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts

• Negative thoughts and/or view of oneself and one’s future

Physical Symptoms:

• Changes in appetite, over or under eating, weight loss or weight gain unrelated to dieting or another health condition

• Insomnia or oversleeping

• Restlessness or slowed movements

• Fatigue or loss of energy

• Aches or pains, headaches, cramps or digestive problems without a clear physical cause and that do not ease even with medical treatment

• Loss of libido or decreased sexual desire

Behavioral symptoms:

• Social withdrawal or isolation

• Reduced participation in work, school or other activities

• Neglect of personal responsibilities and self-care

• Use of substances such as marijuana, alcohol or other drugs to cope

• Slowed speech and/or movement

• Increased sensitivity to rejection or failure

Oooof! Let’s take a moment to acknowledge how depression makes living and functioning incredibly difficult and exhausting. Let’s move forward with compassion in our hearts for ourselves and those we care about who are living with depression.

As holistic therapists, we don’t think of depression as a disorder but rather as an emotional, psychological and nervous system state that people get stuck in due to repressed emotions. 

Think about it…depression literally means to depress something, i.e. to push something down. So…what’s  getting pushed down when we are speaking about depression? Emotions. Emotions are what’s getting pushed down which is why many people who are depressed feel so flat or “blah”.  

You might be wondering why? Why would someone push down their emotions if it leads to such a painful and debilitating existence? 

Often there are a confluence of factors that contribute to the development of depression, but to simplify things, depression essentially stems from not having a safe environment where you could feel and express your true emotions i.e. be your true self.  

In the United States our culture is emotionally phobic so those of us that grew up here and live here present day have been socialized (aka trained) to repress our emotions. Many of us also grew up in homes where it wasn’t safe to express our emotions, instead we heard things like, “Go to your room until you calm down!” or “Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about!”. In our public school system kids are expected to sit quietly and pay attention for 8 hours a day and when bursts of excitement or frustration come through their bodies they may get scolded by the teacher or put in a corner by themselves. 

These are just a few examples of emotionally unsafe environments (there are many ways in which power, privilege and oppression create unsafe environments as well, but that is a whole topic in itself for another time). Long story short, the environments many of us grew up in were not, and in many ways are still not, conducive to feeling and expressing one’s true emotions. 

So…instead of being our full selves we learn what’s expected of us, what’s acceptable, what ways of being allow us to maintain connection and belonging, and we do that. This is the other piece to depression - feeling pressured to put on a mask that’s acceptable and enjoyable to others. To put out that you’re functioning and normal and happy and grateful…it’s like playing a character in your life vs. truly being yourself. And it’s exhausting and painful. 

When we can’t express our true feelings they become repressed and build up like plaque internally. This build up of unprocessed emotions causes autonomic nervous system dysregulation and the nervous system of a person living with depression often gets stuck in a protective state called hypoarousal. 

A hypo-aroused state in the nervous system or body is a protective state of collapse or shut down. It’s a way of protecting that person from the emotions that have built up inside because the inner system has been shown that it’s not safe to feel, process or express those emotions. When the nervous system gets stuck in hypoarousal there isn’t enough energy in the body so a person will feel tired, disconnected, flat and will lack energy to do things amongst other symptoms.

We share all this about depression because we want you and others to know it’s not your fault. Many folks who have depression also struggle with being ashamed of having depression. It’s the, “Why can’t I just be normal, live life and be happy like everyone else?” story. The reality is, you and others aren’t choosing to be depressed. Your nervous system is keeping you in a state of protection because it was never safe for you to feel and express your emotions and needs. 

AND! We want you to know that it is possible to retrain and rewire your inner system to know that it’s okay and safe to feel, express and process emotions and that doing so will give you back your energy, allow you to feel more engaged in your life and relationships and ultimately feel like you again - present, confident and empowered! 

Sounds good huh? Feel free to reach out at any time to schedule a free consultation with us and stay tuned here on Brave Embodiment’s blog to learn about the 4 different types of depression and to see why inner child healing is particularly effective for depression.

Connect with us for a free consultation by filling out the form on our contact page or call us at 720-923-3033. 

10 Mindful Summer Living Tips + 3 Summer Solstice Rituals

Hello Brave Community! 

Summer is here and it tends to bring with it a mix of different energies.

Summer is often associated with growth and abundance. With the long days and plentiful sunlight, it’s a time for expansion and embracing the fullness of life. Spiritually, summer symbolizes clarity, enlightenment and the illumination of the soul. 

The warmer weather and longer days typically lead to more outdoor activities and socializing, which can promote a sense of vitality and engagement with life. Exposure to natural sunlight can increase serotonin production which elevates mood and can reduce feelings of depression. Summer vacations and breaks from routine provide opportunities for rest, relaxation and play. 

While all these things can be true, at the same time many of us have parts of ourselves that feel nostalgic when summer arrives. The smell of fresh cut grass and the sound of thunder storms rolling through skies fill our minds and bodies with memories from when we were younger and had a full on summer break away from the demands of school. 

As adults, it can be emotionally confusing and frustrating to have desires to play, rest and relax yet still be committed to work in order to pay our bills and afford our lifestyles. Internally, summer can feel like a tug-of-war between responsibility and play. 

To try and resolve this inner tug-of-war many of us find ourselves aiming to do it all. We run ourselves ragged working all week trying to get ahead because we are going out of town most weekends or scheduling multiple trips that require us to take time away from work, not to mention, attending all the social gatherings…summer can also be a time of extreme busy-ness instead feeling playful, relaxing and restful. 

Are you tired of living your summers in your head and feeling overly busy?

Are you ready to actually feel present and absorb the fun and relaxation of your summer? 

Check out the next section for some mindful summer living tips!

Mindful Summer Living Tips

These summer living tips are rooted in intentionality and mindfulness which experience and research shows lead to increased presence, peace and joy. Give them a try and let us know how it goes! 

Meditate - Incorporate daily meditation into your routine - even just a few minutes can have a powerful effect! Guided meditation apps like Headspace, Calm or Insight Timer can be helpful. 

Set Boundaries - Learn your body’s signals for “yes” and “no”. When you have clarity about these signals in your body you will say “yes” when it’s truly a “yes” and “no” when you can’t or don’t want to. Having boundaries helps you avoid overextending yourself which leads to stress and feeling mentally and physically unwell. 

Prioritize Self-Care - Make self-care non-negotiable even when traveling or socializing. Ensure you have time for activities that nourish you like sleep, meditation, hydration, nutritious meals, your embodiment practice/movement and alone time. 

Pack Smart - When traveling, pack items that help you maintain your routine like a yoga mat, nutritious snacks, a journal, a laptop to stay consistent with therapy sessions, as well as familiar items that can provide comfort and continuity. 

Pre-Trip Prep & Travel Mindfully - Prepare for trips in advance to reduce last-minute stress. Create reusable lists, pack early and plan your itinerary to include down time. If possible use your travel time for sleep/rest, meditation, reading/listening to audiobooks/podcasts or listening to enjoyable or calming music. 

Loving-Reminders - Take 5-10 minutes to set up recurring alarms on your phone to help you keep track of your routine activities like meal times, hydration, meditations and breaks. 

Mindful Scheduling - Prioritize your commitments and BE SURE to schedule downtime. Use a planner or electronic calendar to allocate time for work, social activities and self-care, to ensure you have balanced and manageable days. 

Time in Nature & In or Near Water - Prioritize spending time in nature to recharge and in particular time in or near water as it has a calming effect on the human nervous system.

Practice Presence - Practice being in the moment without thinking about what’s coming next. Mindfulness can help you savor your experience, reduce overstimulation that can happen when you are trying to track too many things and reduce stress. 

Therapy - Do your best to stay consistent with weekly, bi-weekly or monthly therapy sessions over your summer.  With how busy things can get, it can be tempting to cancel sessions, but therapy is a great way to stay connected to yourself and hold space for your inner world during a time where so much of your focus is going outward. 

Summer Solstice Rituals

The summer solstice takes place on June 20th this year. The summer solstice is a time celebrated by many cultures for its spiritual significance and psychological symbolism of light, growth and life. It represents a peak of solar energy, making it a powerful time for connection, personal reflection and setting intentions.

If you’re looking to feel more connected to yourself and your loved ones, try out all or one of the summer solstice rituals listed below:

Solstice Feast - Prepare a meal using seasonal, locally sourced foods and share this meal with your loved ones. At some point during the meal take some time to intentionally express gratitude for the long days of summer, the abundance of nature and each other.

Journal - Journal together and share out loud whatever feels right to share with each other.

• How has the first half of the year been for you?

• What are the key highlights and challenges you’ve experienced so far this year?

• How are your new year intentions going so far? In what ways are you in alignment with what you set out to do or experience this year? In what ways are you out of alignment? What 2024 goals or intentions need re-evaluating? 

• Describe a memorable experience you’ve had in nature recently. How did it make you feel?

• How do you plan to connect with nature this summer?

• What does the summer solstice mean to you? How do you celebrate it?

• Write about a tradition or activity that brings you joy during the summer.

• What energizes you? How can you bring more of this energy into your daily life?

Water Ritual - Since the solstice is also about balance, a water ritual is a great way to complement the solar energy that is at its highest this time of year. Try a dip or a swim in a lake or a reservoir to engage in the practice of intentionally cleansing your system to give way to renewal, growth and abundance. 

And…if you find yourself sinking instead of swimming this summer, we are here for you! Just send an email to info@bravecounseling.com to set a up a FREE consultation to see how we can support and guide you toward less stress & anxiety and more joy & abundance!

10 Tips for Building Confidence

Are you tired of not feeling confident despite being told how great you are?

We get that. We really get that. 

It’s so frustrating and painful to not be able to really know and recognize your own worth. Every day it feels like you’re having to live up to this idea of who other people think you are when on the inside you’re not feeling it.

Check out the list below for 10 tips on building confidence. 

1. Get to know yourself DEEPLY - Go inward and get to know all parts of yourself. The more you bear witness to all the experiences you’ve had and how these experiences affected you, you will understand yourself better and you will see your strength. When you get clarity on your experiences you learn what your truth is and the more connected you are to your inner truth the more settled and confident you’ll feel.

Tools for getting to know yourself: holistic therapy, journaling, write your life story or create art about it:

2. Take action! - When you go and do and experience, it helps you build trust in yourself. Even if your first attempts aren’t super successful, you can feel proud of yourself for showing up to the challenge vs. shying away from it. Plus, the more you do something the better at it you get which gives you the embodied, or felt sense, that you can figure things out which is essentially what confidence is about. Confidence isn’t being someone who knows everything and anything (that’s not possible), confidence is about trusting yourself and knowing and feeling that who you are and what you bring to the table because of that is valuable. 

3. Release your limiting beliefs - Limiting beliefs are beliefs that you are holding on a subconscious level that restrict your potential like “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t matter”. And, we ALL have them. These beliefs typically stem from past experiences, harmful cultural norms, attachment wounds, trauma and negative or stressful experiences. Releasing limiting beliefs involves self-reflection, challenging existing thought patterns and behaviors and we usually need a compassionate, neutral, third-party (like a therapist) to help us with this because you can’t see your own blind spots. 

4. Keep promises to yourself - Set small goals like “make my bed each morning” or “start each day with a walk” – pick things that are VERY doable and things that you generally are interested in doing because that will help you actually do them! As you keep these promises to yourself each day, your brain will get a dopamine boost and you’ll feel a sense of achievement which will help you embody your self-belief aka confidence!

5. Befriend your inner critic - We all have a part of self that critiques us and sometimes it can feel like it’s criticizing you at every turn. Take the time to get to know this part of you and how it’s trying to help by criticizing you. Once you know and understand this part of you better, you can offer it new tools in the form of compassion, which still holds you accountable, but generates the type of energy you need to step up to challenges. 

6. Limit your prep time - While it is generally good to prepare for presentations, dates or meetings, OVER preparation can reinforce your limiting beliefs like “I’m not capable”. Think about it…if you believed that you were in fact capable, then you wouldn’t be over preparing. Instead, you would trust that your skills will come through for you with the appropriate amount of preparation. So, set a timer for your preparation and stick to it! 

7. Body language - Adopt a posture in your body that appears and feels confident like lifting your chin, broadening across the collarbone, a long and tall spine, etc. Postures like this actually change your internal physiology and start generating feelings of confidence! Also, through movement, nutrition and emotional self-care you can help your body get to a point where you and your body feels generally good and strong! Feeling good and strong in your body will help you feel more confident! 

Not quite sure about this one…? Check out this Ted Talk by social psychologist Amy Cuddy

8. Face your fears - Confidence builds when we see ourselves overcoming the things we are afraid of because we have to access our courage and strength to work through fear. Start by creating a hierarchy of your fears, then start with the small ones and build!

9. Reflect on your successes - Think about it…you once wished and hoped for being where you are right now in your life, and somehow you got here! When you take time to reflect on your success and how you got from point A to point B, your confidence will build.

10. Lean on your supports - Receiving support from those in your support network significantly boosts your confidence by providing encouragement, valuable perspectives and constructive feedback that reinforce your self-belief. It also normalizes struggles through shared experiences, helping you learn and grow. Emotional and practical support reduces anxiety and equips you with resources, making challenges seem more manageable. 

Remember, building confidence is a journey that involves continuous learning and growth. By using these 10 tips, you can start to change the way you view yourself and most importantly the way you feel on the inside. 

And, as always we are here for you. We are compassionate, somatically trained, holistic therapists who LOVE helping women feel more confident. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right hand corner of our website to connect with us today! 

Connect with us for a free consultation at info@bravecounseling.com or 720-923-3033.